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Sunday, January 6th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Be All My Sins Remember'd Review (Spoilers...) -

What did I say in my last SGA review? That Atlantis sure as hell ain't Shakespeare?...

... maybe not, and Be All My Sins Remember'd proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt with its shitty ass writing...

... but still, it doesn't change the fact that this episode was a hell of a lot of fun to watch...

The problem with this episode was that it tried to be truly epic, it tried to inspire the best of Stargate. And while the CG battle over Asuras was definitely the largest scaled battle that the computer effect guys and director have ever tackled head on, I'm not even sure if it's the greatest space battle we've seen on Stargate Atlantis alone. The Siege (Part 3) will always be note-worthy simply because of the novelty effect of having the Daedalus come to the rescue for the first time, and No Man's Land will forever stand out simply because of the ingenious strategies and tactics employed against the Wraith. Even comparing to SG-1, I'm not sure if Be All My Sins Remember'd will leave a longer lasting impression on me than Camelot did when the Ori motherships first arrived in our galaxy and decimated our combined massive fleets...

And if anything, the attempt at sheer Star Wars epicness of this week's episode of Atlantis feels a lot like the Lucas prequel trilogy when compared to the original beauty of SG-1's The Lost City. The Lost City didn't just have special effects and epic Gladiator music, but rather deep character development, a sense of discovery and true magical mythology, and of course the best of Jack and Daniel banter and comedy. In the end, that was the greatest flaw of Be All My Sins Remember'd, that it simply did not have the personality or "strange" charm that a true classic like The Lost City had. I barely remember a single time that I laughed in this week's episode of Atlantis. Five years from now, will Be All My Sins even be remembered?...

Character wise, it was definitely a weak episode. The only crew member who got any development at all was Teyla when she revealed her pregnancy to Sheppard and Ronon. If anything, besides the marketed contrast in the latter two guys' reactions, the only real development from that scene was that Teyla would be missing and vacant from the series from that moment on. Meanwhile, I couldn't help but side with Sheppard in this situation. He wasn't acting jealous really, but rather concerned, and was hurt perhaps that Teyla didn't trust him enough to talk about this situation months ago. Meanwhile, Ronon was a pure pussy-whipped asshole, holding her hand in a purely platonic way as if he was a big brother, when I for one would've been a jealous, giant ass and sought out the father to go beat his ass...

Sheppard got to ask Larin of the Travelers for her phone number, and got to show off the fancy Daedalus class suped-up ships in contrast to his puny little Puddle Jumper. Besides that though, and besides bitching out at Teyla like I probably would've done, what did he accomplish but completely embarrass a Replicator Aurora-class warship with a volley of drones of his own? Meanwhile, Colonel Carter got to show she was in charge by sticking up for her people to Colonel Ellis and sharing little Cold War anecdotes with Caldwell. It was nice to get a bit of the old Carter back when it came to science, especially when she beamed in delight at McKay's little statement that "we are geniuses". I've missed that old Carter from before, but even in Be All My Sins Remember'd, there's only 42 minutes of time to show that smile. I've got a bad Ronon feeling that it'll all be gone again by next episode's time...

Besides that though, Be All My Sins Remember'd was heavy on the plotline and not so deep when it came to Shakespearean writing. McKay for instance, had a few good moments with Zelenka and Fran. In fact, I'd argue that Rodney and Fran were the best parts of the episode, as there was a certain charm and sexy goodness to creating a Friendly Replicator Android to do your bidding. If anything, the creation of a "bomb" that is self-aware was the one strong point this episode had in writing. Rodney started noticing it too near the end, that it hurts our morals to send a sentient being to its suicide. The question is though, sentience or not, does the sexy femme bot have rights? We programmed into her the desire to sacrifice her life to end the Replicators, and she was happy as a result to accomplish her task. Was any of this right then, as Rodney was perhaps originally correct, we don't feel sorry for our own bullets or smart bombs. It's just that, I can't help but sympathize with her situation a bit, naturally since Fran was HAWT...

"Hello!"

Hell yes, I'd say hello to that cutie right back any day of the week and stick to her like glue like all those Replicators did. She just looked so damn happy and adorable to be sacrificing herself for the purpose she was created, and she did it all while looking hot with those innocent eyes and hair of hers. How the fuck could I not fall in love? If anything, it might have worked in a Pygmalion sort of sense, if Rodney and the audience had kept getting to know this "bomb" over the course of several episodes, if not a season long arc. I sure as hell wouldn't have complained, considering how much of a brunette bombshell she really was to the eyes...

If anything, that was my greatest fault with Be All My Sins Remember'd. We had huge plot points, like the Wraith sending seven ships to ally with the Daedalus and Apollo, and the Travelers promising another five or so ships of their own to help combat the Replicators over Asuras. What we had here, was a war of epic scale proportions, all dumbed down to fit within 42 minutes of screen time. Seriously, wasupwidat? This is the kind of great plotline that should have been slowly built up over the latter half of the season. I know it gets old and probably expensively high budget, to keep having scenes of the Wraith and humanity working together, with Larin constantly kicking Sheppard in the balls on her own Aurora warship. But seriously, aside from some cool CG screen-shots of a Puddle Jumper landing in a Wraith Hive Ship and of the allied fleets all jumping into hyperspace in unison, I never got that warm fuzzy feeling I get from an epic-scaled episode such as this. I really wish the writers had gone full out and extended everything, including the birth and death of Fran, into a true season-long war arc...

Still, while I can complain about the writing all I want, it doesn't change the fact that this episode completely 'pwned' my ass in terms of excitement and visuals, all thanks to the new Asgard 'pwning' plasma weapons onboard the Daedalus and Apollo. It wasn't even a ten second contest, having the two of them gang up on a single Aurora-class warship, what was supposedly the mainstay of the Ancient fleet back during the Wraith wars. Seeing the Daedalus-class ships absolutely kick ass during the final battle while barely receiving a scratch but for buckling shields, I wouldn't be surprised if the upgraded Odyssey or whatever could take on three or four fully-armed Aurora-class warships at once. To be honest, I never thought the writers would give humanity this sort of power, as now we have beaming transporter technology, the most advanced hyperdrives left in existence, the best maneuverability of any capital ship, shields that can take a whacking from two or three Ori motherships at once, and now weapons that goddam cut through Ancient shields as if they weren't even there. While I lament the fact the writers have written themselves into a Deus Ex Machina corner of invincibility here (hell, could Atlantis with 3 ZPM's even stand up to a small fleet of our ships?), it doesn't change the fact that I'm ranting about this tech crap while salivating at the same damn time...

The battle above Asuras was beautiful, reminding me of the only good CG sequences from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. I don't get how the Replicators faired so damn badly though, losing four or five or their most powerful warships while taking out only one Hive Ship and one puny Traveler ship in the process, especially considering how powerful we've seen Ancient drones previously made out to be (hell, Sheppard proved it again here by tearing an Aurora in half with a single shot). But besides completely embarrassing the Replicators (and hence Ancient technology) by showing an Aurora to be barely a match for a single Wraith Hive Ship, I still can't get over how beautiful this battle was to watch if you just sat back and enjoyed the ride. Now, I have no idea how a fleet of F-302's with missiles could penetrate or even weaken an Ancient ship shield like they did, but the glorious explosions that happened afterwards were worth the price of admission alone...

If anything, what I'm worried about now is, where the fuck do the writers go from here? Not just in terms of technology, where thanks to the Asgard at the end of SG-1, humanity now has the fastest and most deadly ships in the known fucking universe, but also in terms of the season long war arc. We got a brief glimpse of Dr. Weir in Replicator form (most likely) at the end as a teaser, but I know the actress won't be back until next season at the earliest, so what will the writers do now to keep us in suspense? The first half of season four was flawed but interesting thanks to the constant fear and backdrop of the uber-powerful Replicators wrecking havoc on the entire Pegasus Galaxy. But just like with the Goa'uld, the old-spider Replicators and with the goddam Ori as well, the writers have done it again here and had humanity completely obliterate what was supposed to be an all-powerful enemy in just 42 fucking minutes. What the fuck are the writers going to do now? Do we really expect viewers to once again perceive the Wraith as a threat, especially when it would take an entire fleet of Hives to stand a chance against a single Daedalus-class battlecruiser now? WTF?...

Ha, if anything, I almost feel bad for the Ancients. They've been made out to be so damn fucking stupid in all their war time decisions in the past, and even made a return last season only to be wiped out in ten seconds flat by their goddam overconfidence. Now, we've proven that human-engineered Asgard technology is powerful enough to cut through Ancient ships and shields like butter, while our own defenses can easily counter the uber-drones from The Lost City as if they were nothing. If we were the ones fighting the war against the Wraith 10000 years ago, our superior tactics would've easily been a match for the numbers of the Wraith. Atlantis (and to some extent, the final years of SG-1) have made a total mockery of the race that was supposedly so intelligent that they ascended to a higher plain of existence. If the behaviour of the Replicators, who emulate the Ancients as best they can, are any indication of what it takes to ascend? Then fuck me, whining and ranting and complaining on my download site should be enough to take it to Adria and fuck her sideways one of these days. Oh, if only...

Anyhew, I've gotten a bit off track here I guess, and it takes a fun, techie episode like this to get my tangents truly going. Still, considering the title reads as Be All My Sins Remember'd, I must admit that I was hoping for so much more from this episode than just a large, CG fire-fight in space. I was impressed with Fran and the cool idea of having an uber-Gozilla, Cloverfield of a Replicator blob en masse, but nifty plot points and Asgard beam weapons are just not enough to keep me coming back for more...

To make a truly epic episode, the truth of it is that the best of Stargate needs both hope and heart. It needs comedy and banter and all that shit that truly made classics like The Fifth Race and The Lost City into some of the best television experiences I've ever seen. Despite the Shakespearean title, Be All Sins Remember'd will not be remembered in the same kind of light as those two grand titles still are...

Doesn't mean I didn't have a hell of a lot of fun watching this episode though. Hell fucking yes...

... especially if Fran could be just a bit more friendly...

... ahem... well, you know...

Monday, December 24th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Gemini small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Okay, I admit, a bit of a late review, but can you really blame me?...

I mean, not only did this episode come out of nowhere during the holidays, but it completely caught me off guard too...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

...  ahem...

"Clark Kent was charming, confident, caring, and most of all, competent? WTF? That's just not right. That's just plain bizarre..."

I don't get how the fuck Bizarro is back into the Smallville mix, or why the hell he would stick his neck out to save worthless friends of the real Clark Kent like Chloe. All I do know, is that Bizarro sure is a smooth, charismatic player when it comes to the ladies. Not only did he have Chloe eating out of the palm of his hand when it came to aiding in the search for Milton Fine, but he also actually made his romance with Lana Lang into something goddam bearable for once. How the fuck Bizarro survived the season premiere or why Jor'el would lock his son up in Stargate frozen pod stasis, I have no clue, and I don't really care. All I wish for Christmas now, is that from this moment on, we have this bizarro Clark Kent large and competently in charge instead of that lumbering fool of an emo idiot that we normally get. WTF?...

So let me get this straight, apparently Tom Welling does have the acting chops to seem adult-like, intellectual and almost human-like when he's finally given a role that's written half damn well? Who would've thought, right? But if anything was more surprising, it was that I could tolerate his relationship with Kristen Kreuk this episode, and it didn't even have to rely on her god-awful Chun-Li, thunder-thigh skills at witchcraft and martial arts to pull that off. For some odd reason, the two actors in this episode actually did look at each other with some real love and concern in their eyes, and they actually did hold and console one another as if they actually meant something to each other. Why on earth the writers and Tom Welling would only accomplish this when it's fucking Bizarro in the mix and not the usual Clark Kent, I have no clue. All I do know, is that somehow the two of them, Lana and Clark, actually did look like a sweet couple for once. WTF?...

Meanwhile, Chloe finally got some extra screen time, but unfortunately it was at the mercy of that god-awful Jimmy the Bimmy running about. Or actually, the both of them were stuck in an elevator together with no way out but to scream to the heavens for help, which sadly enough worked. It was a Christmas episode, so I can understand why the striking writers would try to get these two characters to kiss and make up and move on with their proverbial lives for whatever's left for the abbreviated season. And from that viewpoint, it wasn't so bad, seeing the two of them act so awkwardly and then pull out the total cheese factor when it came to their lip-lock. Once again, Allison Mack proved to be a good actress who pulled off a decent performance in her little Die Hard of a situation. I wish she had more important things to do in the season than to just be Jimmy's arm candy the whole way through, but hopefully the writers will have something planned for her character next season or some shit like that. At least the reveal of her meteor freak status was somewhat touching, literally at least...

My memory's gone a little hazy since going on vacation, so I don't recall if Lionel Luthor was anywhere in this episode. His son was though, both of them, or at least a carbon clone of one of them was. I thought the writers have jumped the shark in Blue, when they revealed that Julian had somehow survived being strangled and left for dead by his mother, thus ruining whatever motivation Lex Luthor would have had to turn evil in the first place. Now, while I still don't enjoy how the writers keep pulling random shit out of their asses, at least I can appreciate that they didn't completely ruin Smallville continuity, as it turns out this Julian was simply a manufactured clone of the original child. Of course, it took half a season of horrible acting from Gabriel Grey, not to mention Tomin taking a retirement break from conquering worlds in Stargate SG-1, to forcibly figure this shit out. But whatever, guess you've got to take the good shit with the bad...

Erica Durance as Lois Lane still hasn't shown one iota of good journalistic skills in the series, but at least this episode continued continuity in just how ballsy and dumbass her character really can be. She was trying to protect Chloe, sure, but she sure could've warned her in a lot of different ways, even if she was being watched by the Ori up above. Her one decent scene came at the expense of her boyfriend, when she actually was willing to point the gun at him in order to save her cousin. At least the writers have some family values for their Christmas time special, although naturally Lois Lane suffered cliche concussion number nine in response to her bravado and stupidity. Good gift for her, I guess...

And as for Lex Luthor? Michael Rosenbaum, if he does not return for the still-in-question eighth season of the show, will quite surely and sorely be missed. He's been a "good guy" for how many episodes now, yet here in Gemini, you could just tell that he can't resist falling back to the dark side of the force, despite his best intentions. As far as he was concerned, cloning a brother was a minor offence that didn't harm anyone, almost like music piracy is for most people. But when it came down to the thick of it all, he played God by not just creating human life but also taking it away, killing off Tomin and doing the SG-1 team a huge service in the process. Lex can't help but treat people as Christmas toys, even if technically his new brother Julian was never real in the first place. While this whole cloning plotline literally came out of nowhere and I can normally never stand the writers for doing this kind of randomized shit, I will still give my props to Michael Rosenbaum, for always saving the showrunners' asses straight from the goddam recycle bin of fire...

Gemini in that sense, was like a two-faced episode in terms of quality. On the one hand, nothing made sense when it came to Bizarro still existing or how the fuck Luthor suddenly learned how to clone a brother into existence. And hell, it certainly hurt as hell that we got no sights or moaning sounds of Kara Kent in a tight ass T-shirt all over again. Where's our fucking Christmas gift there?...

But on the other hand, no actor dragged the series down, as even Tom Welling and Kristen Kreuk made a decent impact on the small screen together. Maybe I've just been overly sappy from the holiday season and from what's been happening in my own private life, but really, it's been just downright strange how I've actually felt myself swoon at their goddam relationship this season, for whatever goddam reason...

I know, this has been a bit of a late review. But can you really blame me, when this episode caught me so off guard?...

I mean, I actually liked a goddam Smallville Christmas episode? WTF?...

... how fucking bizarre...

Sunday, December 9th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: This Mortal Coil Review (Spoilers...) -

I love Stargate Atlantis. But let's face facts, it ain't Shakespeare...

This Mortal Coil had a lot of promise. And to be honest, I did enjoy this episode, just not as much as I thought. I was hoping for a big revelation in the Wraith and Replicator war, the kind of battles and epic war arc that was promised near the start of the season. What we got was yet another side diversion, this time with duplicates of the team being made, ala SG-1's Tin Man all over again. Although this time, everything was so rushed to the point where the entire team of clones decided to suicide themselves all at once, even though only Sheppard or McKay had to fly the jumper as a diversion. Obviously, we earthlings, genuine articles or repli-clones or not, have been taking a lot of life lessons or lack thereof from the goddam Asgard...

I know all the criticism being flung around at This Mortal Coil, but I actually enjoyed it more than SG-1's first season Tin Man, despite the slow paranoidal start to this episode. I have always felt that the storyline of certain Replicators wanting to ascend was stronger than any other plot arc that the show had going for the nanite beings, and it was nice to know that Niam wasn't the last of his beliefs...

It was strange how I felt Jewel Staite's best performance on the show turned out to be in the form of a Replicator instead of the doctor. When playing Dr. Keller, she's far too bubbly and cute and unprofessional for my liking most of the time, but here as the queen bitch Repli-Keller? She was surprisingly drone-like for the first parts of the episode, brilliantly so, yet rather human-like near the end when her compassion finally shined through. Yet somehow, even then, she still felt machine-oriented and coldly automated in the end, like the soul was missing from her normally glinting eyes. There was just something in her character that made her feel off and inhuman, and whether that was just the actress' bad acting, I will never know. Either way, she pulled off the job superbly with her best performance on the show yet...

Here, we also got the return of Torri Higginson as Dr. Weir, or a being that looks and acts exactly like the Dr. Weir we knew. For the actress, I've always been love her or hate her, usually from her looks for the former and acting for the latter. In This Mortal Coil, once again her performance was both hot and cold. I thought she did a very good job when expressing her fears and doubts with the real John Sheppard on New Athos. But moments like when she was so awkwardly bad on the LCD screen when first revealing herself to Atlantis, made me want to tear my eyeballs out at all the memories of how damn often the actress screwed up in the past. Regardless though, while her appearance here was more token than essential (did she really contribute to the storyline at all, except to tell us that the real Weir was supposedly dead?), I do admit that Stargate Atlantis has definitely missed her presence for the fourth season of the show. Somehow, even though I like Carter, the leadership and chemistry on the series has just not been the same without Torri at the helm. Whether I just miss her tight ass T-shirts or something more, I don't know, but it was nice to see her back for at least one last time...

The first third of the episode was a bit too slow for my liking, with each and every character discussing how the rest of the people on the base feel so distant. But at least we got a decent fight between Sheppard and Ronon, weirdly one where John was holding his own against the brute. And to be honest, Ronon and Teyla both had their best scenes in this episode that they've had for a very long time. The two of them were obviously very hurt and somewhat appalled that there really can be a perfect duplicate of them, a huge contrast compared to how John and McKay seemed so happy to have a doppelganger. The talks between both sets of Ronon and Teyla was close and personal, and while everything said was more or less generic fodder for a Tin Man episode such as this, it was still acted and executed well enough to feel real, even in a messed up, Sci-Fi situation like This Mortal Coil...

I was definitely hoping for more comic relief, but at least we got a bit of it with the two McKay's thinking brilliantly as one. The two of them might as well become a couple, sharing credit and finishing each other's sentences, oh so excited about working with a mind as insightful as their own. There wasn't any real particular great moment in their synchronized banter, but you gotta love their argument when it came to the word, "outputted". Both McKays can't be wrong, can they? Plus, hell, I say outputted all the time, so fuck you John Sheppard, fuck you...

The return of Elizabeth Weir, so to speak, was the central focus of this episode, but if there was any central character to This Mortal Coil, it was John. He definitely was wrestling and having a hard time not with being a duplicate (or not with having one that could potentially kick his ass), but rather that Elizabeth Weir was back and yet she was dead at the very same time. There was some sentimentality at the end that felt real, when John just blurted out that he was sending Weir's personal items back to earth to her family. It's good that the writers haven't forgotten how close the two characters got over the course of the series, and to be honest, the strength and benefits of that relationship have been lacking on this show since Torri Higginson's departure. As much as I never really liked her acting, I do have to admit that she brings out a lot of the best in Joe Flanigan. He definitely feels like much more of a stronger, more real character with Elizabeth around to be his moral compass. I haven't felt that in the series since Colonel Carter took the helm, but I definitely felt that sort of old school spirit here in This Mortal Coil...

Unfortunately, that doesn't change the fact that for a mid-season cliffhanger, this was a pretty weak episode. Not only was the revelation and realization of Davos' vision a complete cop-out (why did he get random visions for things that don't concern anyone? WTF?), not only were these ascension Replicators too stupid to realize that drones will not kill them, but it was strange that the only permanent continuity that this episode provided was an ugly Lite Brite Replicator tracking system and the idea that Dr. Weir may be dead. I enjoyed this episode for what it was worth, thanks to strong performances by the fake Dr. Keller, Major Lorne, Dr. Zelenka, and of course the two McKays becoming one great character. But for a mid-season finale for what should've been a big ass Replicator war arc of a year, I can't help but leave somewhat disappointed and wanting more...

After a relatively strong start, season four has definitely felt weary and mortal. Where's our sense of urgency? Where's our sense of dread? When will the writers finally cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war?...

A fifth season has already been confirmed. But if this show is to survive beyond that, to be or not to be, the writing just has to improve...

... because ay, there lies the rub, as let's face facts...

I may love Stargate Atlantis, but it ain't Shakespeare...

... well, except for that shit known as Romeo and Juliet...

What the fuck was he thinking when he wrote that shit?...

... God, it reminds me of goddam Smallville...

Friday, November 30th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Miller's Crossing Review (Spoilers...) -

McKay and Mrs. Miller still stands as my favourite episode from the third season of Atlantis, and one of the best episodes of Stargate of all time, in my honest opinion at least. Tough shoes to fill...

Miller's Crossing, like its predecessor, had a clever name. Unfortunately, at least partially due to my unrealistic expectations, it just wasn't the episode that I was hoping it would be. While McKay and Mrs. Miller was a touching story filled with long lost family values and personal sentiments that anyone can relate to, Miller's Crossing felt like a heartless derivative meant to capitalize on Jeanie's sudden fandom. Part of the blame goes to Henry Wallace, one of the weakest villains on the show in ages. He wasn't threatening or, on the other hand, humanly decent enough to sympathize with over his situation whatsoever, and it certainly didn't help that I was all too familiar with the actor from his Malcolm Reed lovin' days on Star Trek Enterprise...

There were some good moments in Miller's Crossing, but they were too far and between for what I would've liked. It was the little things, like McKay and his sister getting lost and then reminiscing about their days in West Edmonton Mall, that reminded me of why McKay and Mrs. Miller felt like such a fresh take on the Stargate universe. But the thing is, I can and have watched the latter episode at least a dozen times and I have yet to be bored once while doing so, simply because the acting and storyline was just so superb. Here, the writing was far too inconsistent for the episode's own good, as even the little side discussion of Katie Brown when Jeanie's life was in peril, felt tacked on and a little too forced for its own good. Not to mention the fact, that the idea that Meredith won't "find anyone better", rings a little too true for my own universe for my liking...

... because let's face it, I'm no John Sheppard...

The thing about Miller's Crossing is, I wanted more scenes of Rodney and Jeanie. Instead, we got token shots of Vancouver (except weirdly enough, the SGA team was in Vancouver for once) and of McKay trying to be all bravado in front of Caleb. Next thing you know, Agent Barrett decides he's too badass to bring back-up to the location that the computer trojan was traced back to, and whoops, we're stuck in a situation where CSIS has to come to the rescue. The whole predicament felt rushed and forced, just to pace randomly through some Replicator storyline with medical nanites. There was supposed to be some heart involved, considering the patient's life was failing due to cancer and all that shit, yet I felt none of it in this episode. Instead, all we got was a clever little rib of how McKay broke his sister's legs for her sake, and then some sob story sent to the Wraith who never should've been on the base to begin with...

There were plenty of plot holes, such as why they couldn't have just sent Jeanie over to Atlantis instead of bringing the Wraith to earth. But what I count most important in an SGA episode, is the performance and chemistry of all the actors. It definitely hurt somewhat that Teyla was nowhere to be found on the planet, and neither was Carter or Dr. Keller (she would've been rather useful in this episode too). Ronon in the meantime, besides some random quip about looking completely out of place in a suit (as if he never wore something more formal on his own planet), was completely out of place in the storyline as well as character. What role did he have to play except sit back and read some files? This was his first on-screen appearance on the outside world of earth. Why didn't he seem to give a shit, or did the writers simply not want to give him the same sense of wonder and awe that made Jeanie such an endearing character back in McKay and Mrs. Miller?...

To quote McKay's sister, "you're no John Sheppard", and neither was Sheppard in this episode more or less. He had nothing to do but break down a few security doors for the most part, but then was given the harshest task of all, to talk Henry Wallace into suiciding himself by essentially being eaten alive. While I can see why Sheppard would do such a thing, to protect the sister of his best friend and all, it still felt somewhat out of character how willing he was to forget it all at the end. He "presented a situation", and while I can see his point of view and almost agree with it (Henry Wallace was never going to get out of jail anyways), it just felt weird how his character was not only going behind McKay's back but also doing something so morally ambiguous in the end. Sheppard is a straight-forward, military type of guy. This was the kind of talk Daniel Jackson or maybe Colonel Carter might have with a person, but Sheppard? I don't know whether this was a huge step forward for his character, or just a lapse in writer's judgment...

Don't get me wrong though, while I am criticizing Miller's Crossing a lot and justifiably so, I actually did enjoy this episode for what it's worth. The sentimentality in it felt forced, but it was still there in spades, especially with the relief at the end with the buying of the guilt-trip Prius and all. The talk between McKay and the Wraith obviously went almost nowhere, and I didn't buy the idea that Rodney was about to sacrifice himself to save his sister (it wasn't David Hewlett's fault there really, but just lacklustre and generic writing). But for every comedic moment on the episode, whether he was chiding Henry Wallace for his rookie mistakes or being blamed for his Nancy Drew skills, I did enjoy the banter and chemistry between Meredith and his sister, even if it just wasn't as prevalent as I originally had hoped it would be...

Clever name though, I'll give the episode that. No idea what Miller's Crossing means, but I'll take it. I just wish the rest of the writing was even an ounce of the quality that it was in McKay and Mrs. Miller, that's all...

But if we ever get a sequel to round out the Miller trilogy? Now sure, it'll be tough shoes and most definitely a large cookie to fill...

... but I'll still be anticipating it as much as I did this episode...

Just make sure it's set in Toronto though...

... 'cause CSIS here shall kick Stargate ass...

Sunday, November 18th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: The Seer Review (Spoilers...) -

Oh, I see. Another bottle episode, it is...

Well, the writers tried to hide the fact that they were low on budget. There were some new CG shots here and there, namely of Atlantis getting its ass kicked in the future vision and all. But a lot of the major moments in The Seer just felt like letdowns, considering there were just so many reused and rehashed moments littered throughout the episode. Even the big pay-off at the end, of the two Wraith Hive Ships stupidly gunning each other down, was just a copy and paste job straight out of season two's The Hive. It ruined what would've been a suspenseful moment and replaced it with the feeling of a cheap cop-out. But hopefully, whatever money that was saved here in The Seer, will be put to great use by the mid-season finale...

With that said, The Seer was definitely a decent episode, although I had hoped for more. One of SG-1 season six's best episodes, in my honest opinion at least, came from when Jonas was able to precog the future thanks to a big whopping cancer on his ass. At first, it struck me as odd that Carter didn't mention that event to Rodney here in The Seer, and then it struck me as even stranger that McKay of all people wouldn't believe in the power of advanced brain abilities (considering what he himself went through last season). Hell, it even bugged me to no end that Carter was so quick to made baseless assumptions and judgments on the vision she saw, even after the lessons she learned from Jonas that the future can be changed. How do we even know that it was the Replicators attacking Atlantis there? Why not the Travellers with their new Aurora ship, or what if they were helping somehow? But meh, after quickly getting over the fact that the writers don't want to turn this show into SG-1 redux, I more or less could enjoy this episode for what it was worth...

It was a Carter episode above all else, and I definitely have mixed feelings about her performance here. On one side of things, Amanda Tapping did a great job being in charge. Hell, she barely even flinched at the thought of a Wraith handshake, she was always willing to listen and differ to Sheppard's counsel, and she was always sure of herself whenever she had to make a tough decision. On the other hand though, this wasn't the Samantha Carter that we have become used to in the past ten years, both in a good and bad way. From what I gathered, this was more of Amanda Tapping doing her best Elizabeth Weir impression, as there was absolutely nothing done in this episode that Weir wouldn't have done in her place. If anything, the addition of Carter to Atlantis would've meant her working or supervising McKay when it came to the Replicator virus, as isn't she around Rodney's equal when it comes to this shit? As much as I love having Carter on Atlantis, I just don't get why the writers removed Weir from the equation when all they did was replace her face visually with someone else's with the same damn lines...

Even when it came to Richard Woolsey, I don't think Carter did anything differently than Weir would've done in her place. Now, on the one hand, it gets old hearing management tell Woolsey that he's a complete pompous jackass, every single time. On the other hand, Amanda Tapping has gotten good at the banter and handling the acting pressure in awkward yet comedic moments like that. If there is one benefit to having Carter on board on the show, it's that she has a much better sense of character poise and comedic timing than Torri Higginson ever managed as Elizabeth Weir. Simply put, Carter has become the new Weir of Atlantis, but Amanda Tapping is simply a better actress than Torri ever was. Harsh words perhaps, which is why I do feel I have mixed performances about The Seer here. But still, it was a strong episode for Colonel Carter, and she did prove herself to be a respectable leader once and for all...

Sheppard was the other story of this episode, although his role was a bit too subdued and serious at times for me to care. Still, it was good to see him bickering and yet connecting with that Wraith from last season all over again, especially considering I love how the writers have given this enemy a sense of levity and comic relief. John knows that he once did trust this being, but only out of necessity, and he knows he doesn't owe him a damn thing any longer. It was this internal conflict though of his, of whether to trust him again or not, that truly made this episode interesting. I would've liked to see more conversation between the two about things other than just the Replicators finally going apeshit on human asses, but no matter what, I thought it set up a great mid-season finale soon to come. Now, if only I could figure out how Sheppard would deal with the Wraith's nutritional needs, then maybe I wouldn't keep pointing out plot holes...

Poor McKay, having to deal with yet another genius Wraith capable of criticizing him to hell and back. Rodney held his own in comic relief this episode, whether it was his reluctance to walk straight into the trap he foresaw, or the fact that he was smug as hell for finding out the Wraith held back on some of the Replicator virus code. I would've preferred more banter and more screen time with Sheppard in the mix, or at least more comedy points between him and the Wraith, considering they do seem to share similar knowledge skill sets. But for what it was worth, Rodney McKay was simply Rodney McKay. He made me laugh and snicker at times with his arrogant charms and wit. And if only he could've worked together with Carter on the new virus, then I'm sure I would've enjoyed this episode a hell of a lot more...

I don't even remember what Ronon did here besides point a gun, so I'm just going to ignore that he existed. Teyla though, was really showing her pregnancy badly at the start of the episode with a huge bulge, and yet apparently nobody on the base realizes that she's carrying? Well, a story is a story, and it's strange how the writers haven't gone the B'Elanna Torres route with her and hidden her real-life pregnancy with all their might. Either way, besides the big reveal of the child she's carrying, a revelation that was handled in a completely non-suspenseful way that killed almost all sense of surprise, I don't remember what the hell Teyla did either. She's trying to find her people, big whoop. Obviously, Zor-El on Smallville stole them all as Heroes cannon-fodder...

Meanwhile, Jennifer Keller demonstrated about the same level of acting talent here as Jennifer Garner did in Elektra. Even when Davos died, the doctor barely emoted or empathized at all with the hot daughter girl who I know Elizabeth Weir would've loved to fuck. Still, at least I wasn't bored to tears during Keller's moments, simply because the material and science she got to deal with was interesting. We all figured that Davos was a near ascended being, on the same level as O'Neill in the Fifth Race or McKay was in Tao of Rodney. But to see someone with that kind of powe be so open, honest and good-hearted in a genuine way, really did seem to compliment the rosy cheek buds and innocent eyes of Dr. Keller standing over there. It was like a fairy tale kind of feeling between the two of them, just mutual respect and almost a father and daughter kind of benevolence in the end. Jewel Staite couldn't act for shit, but still, the scenes just worked because a) Davos was a nice character, and b) both Keller and Davos' daughter were cute and hot as hell. Go figure, I guess. And the two of them, please go fuck...

Because without that highlight? The Seer will not go on my list of favourite episodes of the year. But for yet another budget bottle episode, I personally enjoyed many of the acting performances and thought the hour set up the upcoming mid-season finale extremely well. For so long now, I figured the Replicators would eventually attack human populations, if that wasn't already the reason why the Wraith and perhaps Ancients shut down the nanites in the first place. The chess pieces are set on a grand stage for a real war arc here, and I'm just hoping that the writers do not disappoint. Either way, for now, I will give them the benefit of the doubt. They copped-out badly with the rehashed scenes from The Hive, but I'm just hoping that they don't do the same for the rest of the season. I am intrigued as to how events will play out, and I do want to see if and how that vision that Carter had will come to pass...

This was Samantha's best moment as leader of Atlantis. Sure, I had mixed feelings, but I shall give all the praise in the world to Amanda Tapping for truly being at the top of her game and carrying this episode full and through...

The Seer may not have been an episode that I will watch and rewatch all over again like visions of the future...

... but most definitely, I don't regret seeing it once...

Saturday, November 17th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Blue small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Alright, now I'm depressed and seeing Blue...

Seriously, what the fuck kind of title was that? "Blue"? After seven years, that's the best the showrunners could come up with? What, did the writers already go on strike, and they picked the name of the episode by the random colour of crayon that Tom Welling likes to eat? WTF?...

Wow. Things are finally settling back to the ways things are supposed to be. For the past few weeks, I've actually been enjoying Smallville, anticipating its return like I always hoped I would for the series. I've actually thought that characters like Clark Kent and even Lana Lang were finally blossoming and blooming into their goddam potential. I thought the writing had improved, the directing was better, and that the acting wasn't goddam high school grating grade quality any longer...

But now? Now, after watching Blue?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"What the fuck was that shit? Heroes, season shitty two? We got a goddam Solar Eclipse and an amnesia storyline to boot. WTF?"...

Blue was depressing to watch. It had a ton of potential, with a storyline revolving around the actual Superman mythos. But it was wasted, all squandered and rushed to the point where it really felt like two episodes squished into one shitty ass sandwich. All of the writing was straight out of a comic book in a horrible way, and I felt embarrassed for the actors as they emoted out their lines like machines, I really did. With Zor-El and Lara there, it was like watching a goddam Stargate Atlantis episode with nothing more than Teyla talking to her right hand man about Athosian food supplies. There was no emotion there, no character and absolutely no personality. Lara felt like so much of a robot, which may be excused from the storyline point that she was just a genetic clone, but it sure as hell doesn't help in making a decent episode...

Considering this was the episode of a cliffhanger leading into the holiday hiatus, I was expecting just so much more. After all these past weeks of having a decent Lana Lang on the small screen, she reverts back to trying to be the good girl, fighting off the dark side of the force. I'm sorry though, but I don't buy it. Not only were her scenes with Lara as goddam wooden as the acting was in the Star Wars prequel trilogy, but it was just dumbass how token her umpteenth concussion was here. What the fuck did she hope to achieve against Mr. Zor-Athosian over there? Even if he didn't have Kryptonian powers, I would still stay the fuck away from a flying freak in a Neo Matrix trenchcoat. WTF?...

And of course, we got horrible, horrible love-shit scenes between Lois Lane and Mr. Editor in Chief. Now, I know that this romance is doomed for failure, and I'm sure the writers are thinking of ways to eventually hook Lois and Clark up one of these days. But really, do we have to deal with all this bullshit about the office romance? Maybe I could relate to it a bit, but now that I'm thinking more clearly from my own situations? Just end it, really, and give us viewers a sigh of relief. And if anything, why bother dragging Chloe down with the Lois Lane sinking, slut of a ship? Allison Mack is too good and cute of an actress to be relegated to just the sidekick to Lois Lane and Clark Kent the whole frickin' time. Her only contribution was to stare at the goddam global eclipse as if she wished she was on goddam Heroes instead of this shitty ass show...

Was it supposed to be a surprise to us about the reveal of Julian Luthor? I for one just was disgusted with that writing, not only because the guy playing Julian is a horrible actor, but because it completely ruins whatever continuity the series had developed for Lex Luthor in past seasons. If anything, we understood Lex's descent into darkness, as it all started from when his mother suffocated baby Julian in order to spare him from the fate of Lionel Luthor. It made Lex into somewhat of a tragic, fallen hero, and it was understandable how his trauma prevented him from ever becoming a good man. But now, we find that apparently, Julian Luthor was alive and well and Lex Luthor has fucking known about it for God knows how long? Who the fuck thought up this fucking bullshit? Who the hell thought this would be a good idea? The same person who brought up in a meeting room his favourite goddam colour of Blue? WTF?...

And oh, Clark Kent, what would we ever do without you? What a moron he is, putting on the goddam ring as if he has never experienced Kryptonite in jewelry before. It was weird how the crystal could not be shattered by anything (considering green and red kryptonite has always been destructible), and it has always been strange that Kryptonite in a goddam fucking ring never has any ill effects until he puts the goddam thing on. Of course, he's too dumb to ever take precautions, and as a result, totally gets his ass kicked as the dumbass moron he has always been. Even worse, the writers then took their usual logic gaps and shortcuts to try to make him seem like the goddam grand ass hero. How the fuck did he ever make it back to the Fortress of Solitude? He had no superspeed, Zor-El claimed he couldn't find him, and as the episode blatantly pointed out, the Yaris is just too good on goddam mileage to make it to the North fucking Pole. WTF?...

Tom Welling wasn't the only actor made out to be the dumbest person on the goddam planet. I felt bad for Laura Vandervoort, as this was really the first episode where she was atrociously awful aside from the wardrobe. My only good memory of her was that tight ass, blue T-shirt she was wearing, as to me that was the real title and headline of the story. Besides that, she was just so damn angsty and naive, following her father and then being too damn dumbass to even go into superspeed mode to try to take him out with a knife. I know she was meant to be torn between loyalties, but the writing was just so goddam lame and comic book cliche, that it pained me to hear Tom Welling and Laura communicate as if this were a high school Shakespearean play. To add further insult to injury, her goddam emo-ness turned her into goddam Peter Petrelli by the end, resulting in the worst fate of all. Not just the amnesia per say, but getting stuck in goddam Detroit...

... wow, now I really feel sorry for her...

This episode was just a total waste of time, and I honestly want that goddam hour of my life back. The plotline was so full of potential, especially after I loved episodes like Lara just a few weeks ago. Yet the writers and producers and directors just gaffed and fucked things up so completely, rushing and squandering whatever opportunities they had at actual goddam respect...

Ha, guess the true Smallville is finally back.

All is right in the world again...

Sunday, November 11th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Missing Review (Spoilers...) -

I guess it can be somewhat construed as ironic. That on Remembrance Day, lest we forget?...

... I review the one Stargate Atlantis episode of the season so far, that I wish I could fucking forget...

Suffice to say, Missing was absolutely missing almost everything I enjoy about Stargate Atlantis as a series on the whole. The team was broken up, giving the spotlight to Teyla and the newbie of Dr. Keller (goddammit, why can I still not remember her first name?). It started off on a decent note in the infirmary, with a cute little shot of lollipops and talk of how much the Athosians adored Carson Beckett, because we the audience certainly did too. And when I first saw those scenes, I was expecting another bottle episode like we've gotten the past few weeks, and I would've been fine and probably even happy with that, provided there are good team interactions and a good comical dynamic...

That's just not what we got though. I expected a team oriented, light-hearted episode taking place throughout Atlantis or some shit like that. What I got instead were more and more Vancouver forests, the kind of bullshit that I think I filmed in fucking high school in my own backyard ravine. How much did it cost to make this episode anyhew? Considering it was just the two actresses lost in the same exact spot in the forest for two fucking days, and the enemies were all just hired as hobos and rejects from the film Serenity, I can't imagine that this episode was worth anything more in the end than the goddam Blair Witch Project. Fuck, we barely even got any decent P90 fire-fight action in the end. With no fucking payoff, you better believe I'm fucking pissed off...

This was nothing more than a budget episode, not even a true bottle episode. A bottle episode would've given something for Ronon, Sheppard and McKay to do, or at least a lot more than they got to do here. Well, alright, at least John and Rodney got to play movie and actor trivia, which was sadly what I was doing in my head the whole time to deal with the boredom of this episode. Ronon meanwhile got to act completely dumbass and clueless again, and Carter was nowhere to be found. At the very least, I expected some scenes in this episode to be light-hearted and comical to provide relief to the zany, cliche, under-budget bullshit going on in the Vancouver woods on New Athos. But apparently, I thought too much of whoever the fuck wrote this shit on the Atlantis crew...

Well, I do always prefer team oriented episode, as Doppelganger probably stands as my favourite episode of the season so far. But episodes based on single characters, like Travelers for instance, can still be decent as long as they don't take themselves too seriously in the end. But what was this bullshit we got with Teyla in Missing? You'd think that the writers would delve into her backstory somewhat, talking about her Athosian roots and all that other crap that we once got with Teal'c (and we often get with Ronon in SGA). But instead, besides a little side-blurb on some Kanaan guy that apparently the writers just wrote in for the sake of Teyla's pregnancy, what did we learn from Teyla except that she was a pure bitch the whole episode through? I know she was just trying to be tough to get Dr. Keller into true survival mode, but really, abandoning her on the bridge was just dumbass. Who the fuck builds a fucking bridge with nothing but rope in the first place? The SGA team gave fucking P90 guns to people this damn primitive and lazy? WTF?...

Dr. Keller in the meantime, was just too cute and bubbly and overly wussy to deserve all the screentime that she got. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Jewel Staite to death, although that has far more to do with her looks than it does with her acting so far on Atlantis. Here, she played the role of the scared and mortified doctor far too much on the deep end. I mean really, after going through shit like Tabula Rasa and stuff, did she really need to be terrified of eating a bunch of guts and shit from an animal that Teyla promised was safe? I understand that she would be hesitant to kill and take a life, but what about when it comes to just survival elsewise? Hasn't she already been in situations in Atlantis where her life was in jeopardy yet she still remained mostly calm and logical, but here in Missing her bravado and common sense was completely missing in action?...

I can understand that she would be worried about going off-world, but while Carson and Dr. Zelenka were never fans of leaving the base in the first place, they were never this panicky and never this goddam timid when they first stepped through the gate. I don't know whether it was Jewel Staite that overplayed her role or that the writers gave her absolute shit to work with, but she was far more annoying and grating to me here in Missing than she ever was cute as a fucking button. And considering how damn much I loved here in Firefly, that's saying a hell of a lot...

And WTF was with the Reaper rip-offs here with the cannibals, whatever the fuck those primitive brutes were called? Isn't it ironic, or was it simply intended, that the writers would give an enemy with this kind of tribal bullshit to a Jewel Staite episode of all characters? And wait a second, don't I recall a certain promise in Serenity, that if Kaylee made it out of there alive, that she and that doctor guy would finally get it on? And, well, considering she's now the genius doctor on the team instead of him? Doesn't that mean that now that she has survived, she's going to get in her bunk and go fuck herself? Err, yes, please?...

... because, you know, I would much prefer that over the shit we got in Missing...

Now, I guess it was only a matter of time until the writers really did throw our way a boring filler of an episode. They've done a great job with bottle and standalone episodes so far this fourth season, and it's only natural to fuck up now and again...

Suffice to say, there was just something missing from Missing...

... it was simply not an episode that I want to remember...

... and barely an episode that I even want to review...

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Wrath small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Err... the world really has been shaken and stirred upside down...

I know there hasn't been much competition lately, but still, how the fuck is Smallville of all shows consistently churning out my goddam episode of the week? Who the fuck could have ever predicted this happening?...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"Clark and Lana get it on, and I actually found it enjoyable? How the fuck does that happen? My world has been flipped and fucked upside down. WTF?"...

For the first time in ages, the writers have actually taken the goddam Clark and Lana angst, and instead of hitting us over the head with an ugly stick with all their goddam melodramatic emo bullshit, they actually had fun with the storyline and didn't take themselves too seriously. Since when has that ever happened before on this goddam series, where they normally attempt for freaks of the week to be depicted with the same damn seriousness as goddam child molesters. If you had asked me even three weeks ago, I would've claimed that the writers strike should have no effect on the Smallville series, simply because it's not like goddam monkeys at typewriters are really part of the guild. And yet now, I sadly find that Smallville has become the fucking highlight of my week? What the fuck has happened?...

Well, for starters, Smallville really did get back to the basics with Wrath. Lex Luthor knocked unconscious with a concussion? Check. Lois Lane rendered unconscious and sent to the hospital ward? Check. Chloe being useless while being jealous over Clark and Lana's relationship? Check. Clark Kent being a complete dumbass moron, requiring realism from his ambiguously evil ally of Lex Luthor to finally learn the truth? Check. And Lana Lang acting as a complete and utter goddam bitch? Oh you better believe, checkmate on that one...

The thing is though, the writers actually seemed to intend to integrate all their Smallville cliches and staples into the story, and they did it in a fun and entertaining way. Normally all the above are simply cop-outs and natural results from piss poor acting and goddam bankrupt creative minds, yet here, you could tell the writers actually meant to be this stupid, in a good way for the first time in ages. Clark and Lana getting it on, and allowing the whole town to feel their vocation quite literally, actually got me to snicker because there were no fucking angst and no fucking emo-shit, but rather just a comedic routine that was actually meant to be funny. And of course, it helps that Lana Lang looks fucking smokin' hot as hell in just a flannel shirt after sex, but even so? What shocked me even more was how cute she was with Chloe when they were talking about, you know, discussing about their sex lives. It was another moment where I actually laughed at something that was actually meant to be laughed at...

Of course, there were cringe-worthy spots. Everything relating to Lois Lane and whatever that Editor's guy name is called, was eye-rolling at best with the goddam cheesy ass, cliche romance. The thing is though, even from the music and the way the scenes were filmed, you could just tell that the producers were trying to have a bit of fun with this tired romance as well, even giving us a nice, broad, backside view of Lois Lane in a medical gown to boot. This isn't Heroes or anything, where the Claire and West romance has quickly become the new equivalent of goddam Smallville. Instead, we get amusingly dumbass scenes between Lois and the Editor straight out of the 50's, while still providing a bit of backstory of how he might be paid off by the Luthors or some shit like that. As bad as their storyline as been between the both of them, strangely enough it's been tolerable, simply because it hasn't taken itself seriously for one damn second...

If there's any shame in Wrath, it's that both Chloe and Lionel Luthor were both greatly ignored. I forget what Chloe did, except go all jealous bitch on Lana's ass. Lionel Luthor's only real contribution was to keep us updated that apparently Martha Kent was still alive and well somewhere in the Smallville universe, yet Clark Kent is too lazy to even run ten fucking seconds to meet up with her for dinner. Well, at least Pa Luthor did get to inform Clark about how much of an evil bitch Lana really is, although it's a shame Clark had to actually hear it from him rather than figure out himself the goddam truth seven years ago. But whatever, while I wish Chloe had a better storyline this season, and I can only hope things pick up for John Glover from this point on, it's honestly baffling to me that I actually don't need these two characters anymore to even remotely begin to tolerate Smallville as a whole. WTF?...

The big shift this season has simply been from Lana Lang finally showing her true colours. First, she had Lionel locked up in Misery out of spite and wedding revenge, and next she made her little Isis foundation to stalk Lex Luthor to no bloody end. Here, with Clark's powers conveniently copied to her (instead of just transferred, which would've been far more canon), she went all out with her murderous bitch blitzkrieg, the kind of which fortunately did not remind me of her goddam days as a witch or vampire whatsoever. Now, why the fuck she had to dress up like Trinity from The Matrix or whatever sort of crap, I will never know. All I do know, is that it's sad that she mastered Clark's powers more in a single day than he has in seven fucking years, even going so far to do fucking backflip martial arts kicks in super speed. Ha, while of course that shit made me roll my eyes, it was just so damn dumb and goddam intentionally retarded (I hope), that even her usual goddam stupidity gave me a good laugh...

Even Lex Luthor got into the comedy gold routine this episode, even finding Lana as a pimped out bitch to be hotter than he normally does. The kiss they shared was just so 'slap-your-forehead', migraine silly, that I actually found it enjoyable. And of course, as a true staple of the Smallville universe, Lex Luthor gets knocked out right before the battle of superpowers begins, and of course he ends up completely ignoring the fact that Lana Lang had Kryptonian abilities just a few minutes later. Man, that guy just can't get a clue sometimes, and the sheer stupidity of it all was actually enlightening here in Wrath, thanks to all the lightning coming from clear blue skies and all...

Why the fuck did Clark Kent never notice a piece of meteor rock under his windmill, I will never know. How the fuck his powers were copied instead of transferred, who fucking knows? All I did care about, was that for once, all his 'oh shit' looks actually had some meaning. For once, he came across an opponent who was just as powerful and skilled as he was. And for once, it makes sense that he would be emo and distressed, considering he finally woke up to the truth that the woman he loves is just not the woman he thought she was. Maybe I only enjoyed Tom Welling's performance in this episode, because finally the relationship bullshit is ending between him and Lana Lang? Either way though, I couldn't help but laugh at all the stupid ass things Clark did this episode, from getting his ass kicked in literally by his girlfriend, or the fact that he was too dumbass to read the warning label when it came to that Kryptonite jar holding the remains of Milton Fine...

It almost sounds like I'm mocking this episode like I do every other hour of Smallville, and in some aspects that's exactly what I am doing. But the thing is, the major difference here is that in Wrath, the writers actually intended this episode to be fun and almost a parody of their usual selves, or at least it seemed that way to me. Everything was light-hearted, everything felt loose and comical, and the actors even seemed like they were having a fun time with their roles. Nothing in this episode took itself nearly as seriously as the fucking last time Clark and Lana got it on, and I applaud everyone on the cast and crew from saving us from that goddam melodramatic bullshit...

Wrath had all the plot points and makings of yet another cliche, eye-rolling Smallville episode. Yet thanks to a few smiles and jokes, it ends up as my episode of the week instead...

... the world really has been flipped upside down and goddam bizarro...

... as for the first time in ages, while the world shook beneath the both of them?...

... I actually wished I could be Clark fucking Kent...

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Tabula Rasa Review (Spoilers...) -

Tabula Rasa. Always a fabulous sounding name. And kind of appropriate too, in more ways than one...

Once again, Stargate Atlantis has delivered a suspenseful, effective bottle episode that was more than just entertaining to watch. But still, a bottle episode is just a bottle episode in the end. Ultimately, it doesn't contribute much to the series at all...

Besides the quick update on the war between the Wraith and Replicators (the Replicator ships got their asses kicked, WTF?), there was absolutely nothing of continuity to be found in Tabula Rasa. In fact, it's a miracle that more "harmless" diseases like this one don't affect the people of Stargate every single week, considering that every fucking world in the universe would have a different set of bacteria and viruses on it. But accepting the Sci-Fi staple at face value of our immune systems being just that damn badass, the mutated disease should've at least had some effect on Teyla and Ronon, even if it was a slower and less pronounced one. But still, I enjoyed this episode for what it was worth, an hour of my life and nothing really more...

I did like the writing, the cinematography and a lot of the music choices that were made throughout the episode. The flashback sequences were greatly filmed, in the sense of just how lost and mysterious everything felt right from the opening credits. And the make-up must've been great, since even the Samantha Carter that we've known for ten years and counting looked completely different at first, not just from the long hair but from how lost and helpless she looked in her eyes. Carter didn't get to contribute much this episode, I even forget if she was the one in the trio wielding the Wraith Stunner, but even the little moments like when she forgot about her gate orders to Zelenka, seemed to execute so naturally within the flow of the show. Sam never stole the spotlight, and I guess she never really took charge either, but her presence alone was definitely a positive influence on what turned out to be a very effective standalone episode...

Like I said before though, I wish from a logical point of view that the disease had some sort of effect on Teyla and Ronon. At least headaches or something, just so that they don't feel like Superman all of a sudden. Teyla herself pissed me off to no end this episode with her continued knowledge of science and mathematics, even going so far as to know what the fuck the earth term of Pi means in the grand scheme of things. Why is it that she seems to remember everything about technobabble these days, when Ronon is now the one with a blank stare on his face? At least though, the big lug is entertaining, providing a convincing argument to the mind-wiped Sheppard about how shooting him couldn't possibly make his situation any worse. And at least Ronon has his big ass Travelers gun still, while Teyla is apparently useless without her little stick weapons. She even had trouble against the baffled Lorne with his guards, although maybe they just didn't want the pregnant actress to take a real fall or anything like that...

Still, both actors performed well within the overall flow of the episode, and the same goes for Joe Flanigan, even when completely brain-dead more than his usual self. I don't remember anything he did except point towards Ronon after he himself learned that he was Lorne's commanding officer. Either way though, after taking the spotlight and going full frontal in Travelers, it was nice to see him take a bit of a backseat here in Tabula Rasa. Sheppard still got his kicks and licks in when holding Ronon at gunpoint, and it's always good to see him somewhat pass the proverbial torch to Major Lorne, who really has been having a bad year with the mindfucks over on Atlantis (first sleep walking barefoot, and now gone crazy Commando? WTF?). The photo was a nifty idea that oddly enough worked, and it's somehow always a pleasure to see Joe Flanigan fly a Puddle Jumper, even though he can literally do it in his sleep...

Tabula Rasa belonged to the two characters of Rodney McKay and Dr. Keller (dammit, why do I keep on forgetting her first name?), although Dr. Zelenka got to get some more decent screentime in while along for the ride. Rodney was his usual self, confused as hell yet still the best comic relief that the Pegasus Galaxy has ever seen. Poor guy's only plan to escape the messhall was to charge in numbers against armed soldiers who didn't even remember who they were, but apparently it worked and he happened upon his old tablet PC anyways, so it's all good. Just the little things McKay provides to every episode, from his brilliant plan to mark the places he's been with an "X" (even if he'll forget what it means later on), to apparently being too lazy or forgetful to just press "ENTER" before making his own little music video about Teyla, I always gotta give my main man there props. And the writers almost got me there too, when it came to the whole Katie Brown situation. After Kate Heightmeyer's death, I was almost sure that Katie was a goner too, until I realized how useless of a character she is and then didn't give a shit. Shame she wasn't killed off to increase the red shirt count then, but whatever...

Jewel Staite held her own in this episode, seeming in charge of the situation, although she still somewhat struggles with the medical babble of being a doctor. Either way, she was absolutely adorable as hell with her hair all messed up like it was in the messhall, and you gotta feel bad for the poor girl as she was one of the first to get stunned when crashing the party of the door. Alas, a few of her scenes were stolen by the random doctors all around her, from that Asian woman who probably still wishes Beckett was around, to that random G4 guy in a lab-coat who once sang that Atlantis rap song, begging for a spot on the show (seriously, they actually gave him a role?... damn, what about me?). Still, how can I fault Jewel Staite when she looks just that damn cute, and plays the part of the bubbly, forgetful doctor to near perfection?...

Tabula Rasa was a decent episode, just not anything truly special. It left me in suspense, not knowing if Katie Brown would be the next to be offed, and it left me wondering what the solution to the situation would be (although the idea of a cure coming from the aroma of a goddam weed was a tad bit offbeat). It was a solid, well written bottle episode with some good character interaction, even if nobody really knew who the people they were speaking with were. And I've always got to give a few thumbs up any time that secondary characters like Zelenka and Major Lorne really get to shine. It worked wonders here, for a standalone episode at least...

Overall, it was an enjoyable experience in the same sort of mold that the first season of Stargate Atlantis often graced us with. It just wasn't the greatest or most epic of hours I've seen from the series, that's all...

Tabula Rasa was a solid showing with fascinating cinematography...

... but in the end, I guess, still forgettable...

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Lara small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Okay, something is definitely wrong with this picture...

How many episodes have there been in this season of Smallville so far? Five, six, seven?...

And how many of them have been actually good, now that Lara has aired?...

More than one? Seriously? Yet really, it's true. More than one...

More than fucking one? Wait a tick, is this a record or something? WTF?...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"Could Clark have possibly seemed more creepy at the end holding his mother's DNA? He sounded like some psycho with his mother locked up in the basement or some shit like that. WTF?"...

You see, the ending of Lara was a prime example of just how dumbass the writing can be on Smallville, or how fucking stupid it is on the series as the norm. Yet for some bizarre reason, this seventh season of Smallville hasn't been bad at all overall, starting from Kara and now leading into Lara. It certainly helps that Laura Vander-whatever as an actress is smoking hot, but there actually have been interesting and well developed plot points to this season so far, for some bizarre reason. Whether we're talking about the family issues between Jor-El and Zor-El, the introduction of Vandal Savage or even Lana fucking Lang's turn to the dark side of the force, I have to give credit where credit is due. I am somehow sadly enjoying this fucking season of goddam Smallville...

Like I said before... seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?...

This is not normal, especially considering the only good actors on the show are still being cast aside. Lois Lane was nowhere to be found, and Chloe's only use in this episode was to seem jealous when doing the usual bitch thing of pretending to be friends with her ex. John Glover really has always been the anchor of the show, yet it was his scene that felt the most awkward and off, with him talking about Starhawk and spouting a bunch of "Domestic Security" background crap. Even Michael Rosenbaum barely got into the game, taking one in the chest for the team when it came to trying to protect the blonde girl of his dreams, and then pulling a Clark Kent with his "oh shit" looks when there was really nothing else he could contribute to this episode. The actual real actors on the show did nothing in Lara, yet I still found it to be an enjoyable episode in the end anyhew? WTF?...

... this is getting weird...

I mean, you know the world has gone bizarro when it seems even Lana Lang is earning her dues. She seemed creepy as a lying bitch when it came to her Batman cave of a help agency, and her psycho vindictive performance was all done on fucking purpose for once. Kristen Kreuk really can pull off that evil woman sort of look to perfection, and it actually is working out here, especially when lying through her teeth to Chloe and Clark and whoever else. To be honest, if the previews for next week are any decent indication, I'm actually looking forward to next week's episode which is actually devoted to Lana Lang. Seriously, when was the last time I actually wanted to see the damn bitch on screen? Has it ever even happened before in goddam history? WTF?...

And how the fuck can I ever forsake Lara Kent, especially when looking smoking hot in that Matrix red dress of hers at first, only to slink back into the most tight ass of jeans later on. Now sure, there were moments when she was completely over the top, namely when she turned all teenage angsty about not being able to trust family and shit like that. I mean seriously, how long has she known Clark, a few weeks? And fuck, it's not like I give a shit about my cousins and what they think of me, so why should she? And of course, I rolled my eyes at her sudden new ability to hack into the Pentagon computer systems, even though she might find our highest tech to be primitive and easy to learn, I suppose. Still, whether it came to cheap ass flying scenes against airplanes or how absolutely adorable she seemed in her little flashback videos in the barn, I really enjoyed Laura's performance this episode. She's just so bubbly and cute and actually decent as an actress, that I honestly would not mind a spin-off based on her character at this point in time. Bizarre, I know, but I've done a complete 180 degree spin on my stance from my opinion in the season opener of Bizarro...

And as for Clark Kent? Well, all creepy-son attitude aside, he didn't do a bad job overall. Sure, he's being his old dumbass self by lying through his teeth to his cousin about not knowing where the blue crystal is. But considering that's still ten times more intelligent than he normally is, I'll let it slide just this once. Though I admit, I'm still rolling my eyes at the writer leeway of his goddam sudden immunity to Kryptonite, but whatever. Lionel was apparently too late off the plane or some shit like that, so nonsensical plot movement had to take precedence over continuity and common sense. I'm all too used to it on the series, so I'll move on...

For the rest of the episode, I actually thought Tom Welling did a decent job of trying to console and relate to his cousin Kara, even if the two really are from separate worlds. It also helps that he got his ass kicked in by a little girl, thanks to the actor still being too stubborn just to learn how to goddam fly. But whatever, I'm just shocked that thanks to little or no goddam emo angst between him and Lana this season, that Clark Kent has actually resembled the intelligence level of an actual human being. What is the world coming to, seriously? Has the axis of the planet been switched to rotate backwards or some shit like that? WTF?...

Not only that, but we got some actual interesting Superman mythos shit in Lara, namely by meeting the character in question with that very name. Now, it really made no sense how the picture of Clark's biological mother managed to remain undiscovered and undisturbed for twenty or more fucking years, but it was still worth it to see just how sweet Kara was back in the day, and how benevolent of a mother Lara really was in her memories. Of course, can't forget Zor-El bashing in through the door like some dumbass sitcom character, then being stupid enough to talk about assassinations and widow rape while his own daughter with superhearing was right outside the house. But meh, all Kryptonian stupidity aside, I really am enjoying this sudden revival and reversal of truths, where the Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude really might be telling the truth of things. Now, if only we could figure out a) how the fuck the door to the Kent house was fixed and b) how the fuck Lara and co got back to Krypton when all the Half Life portals had closed, then maybe I can count Lara as a good episode of television overall rather than just an excellent episode of Smallville?...

Realistically speaking, the quality of Smallville so far this season has been all relative, not just to its previous shitty ass years but also to every other television show on right now. Heroes has been picking up lately but was slow and boring as hell at first, Battlestar Galactica still hasn't started up, and I haven't gotten into any new show for the new year except for maybe Chuck and the odd episode of Pushing Daisies. In comparison, Smallville so far in its seventh season has been going on pretty strong, enough so that I'm actually looking forward to the next fucking episode for the first time in ages. WTF?...

Since when was the last time I could honestly say that with a straight fucking face?...

... something is definitely goddam wrong with this picture...

... disturbing, yet undisturbed for twenty fucking years...

Sunday, October 28th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Travelers Review (Spoilers...) -

I used to hate Stargate episodes back on SG-1 that dealt with advanced human cultures and shit like that. If anything, I thought they ruined the purity of the mythology of the series, the idea that Goa'uld had indeed kept the entire galaxy in the dark ages. And as a huge Ancient history buff myself, I didn't like how the writers were essentially deluding the premise of the SG-1 series opener with everything I knew and once loved from Star Trek...

... besides, the Tollans were fucking dumbasses...

But after the introduction of the Prometheus and F-302 on SG-1? I was mentally prepared for all the Sci-Fi space faring shit when Atlantis first premiered, even if I was never a real fan of it with the Stargate name in the first place. What I got instead though, was a wonderful surprise of a first season of SGA, one that was great because it really did rely solely on primitive like cultures and travel through the actual Stargate. The second season did jump the gun a bit with goddam technobabble and the introduction of the Daedalus as the deus ex machina of the series, but thankfully, the third and now fourth seasons of the show have been bringing Atlantis closer to its original Stargate roots. I've been pretty happy with SGA as a series with the SG name as a result...

But when the preview for Travelers first aired? I don't know, guess it sent a shiver down my spine, and not in the greatest of sense. I didn't want yet another hi-tech, Star Trek Voyager-esque human species mucking up the great bottle and bonding episodes that SGA has recently been producing. And immediately, after seeing the initial premise of the episode where John Sheppard was too fucking lazy to even cloak his Puddle Jumper on first sensor warning notice, I was certain that I would be facing and enduring yet another shit ship episode as Prometheus Unbound was back in the day...

Truth be told, Travelers in the end did not turn out to be a bad episode, and the overall premise for it did make sense. Space is vast, and the Wraith sleep for centuries at a time. It does make sense that there would be a space-faring, Firefly like race out there that survives off of vulture-like scavenges. And hell, finally we got to find the source (most likely) for that badass gun that Ronon somehow found while as a Runner. The Travelers themselves were not a bad race overall, just a bit misguided and ignorant and desperate, though the humour in this episode was sadly more laughable than anything else. If only they had Jane from Firefly on their side, and maybe some Jewel Staite (ironically, she was not in this episode), maybe I wouldn't mind watching this hour again in my bunk?...

They did have what's-her-name from the Blade TV series, and while she was real shaky in this episode at first (literally, it sounded like her throat was horse) and she still can't act worth a damn, I personally thought that she played the role of the tough bitch girl rather well, or at least like Vala 1.5 if you will. Problem is, until you put more depth into a character like that, you better hope the actress is hot as hell because the personality is just too cliche to be interesting. Whatever her name was in the episode (notice that I don't even remember already), she had a few good kicks and stumbles against the Wraith, she showed a few balls by risking the lives of her men with the radiation, and she showed some actual intelligence by taking Sheppard up on his offer for an alliance. Even so, the writers tried far too hard in their attempt to make her out to be Sheppard's Wrath of Khan of an equal, which all failed miserably from a) her horrible acting and b) the fact that it took John's own Kirking to get his fucking ass kicked in the end...

Oh, Sheppard. I know she's hot, but with a Wraith right behind you, what the fuck were you thinking?...

"Just once, I would like to be taken captive by the sexy alien"...

I hear you, Rodney. I hear you loud and clear. But the problem is, with an episode like Travelers (and Prometheus Unbound in the past), there is no team chemistry between the team, because the team is simply nowhere to be found. At least Rodney got to look a bit intelligent with the detection of the morse code, although it really led nowhere when apparently neither the Daedalus, Apollo or the fucking Odyssey with its suped up hyperdrive were anywhere to be found for the rescue. Instead, it took forever with a Puddle Jumper fleet just to get to the Aurora-class battleship that Sheppard was on. In the meantime, we got meaningless, generic comments from Ronon and Teyla how nothing would stop them from getting the Colonel back, only for the Travelers to enter hyperspace a second later and, guess what, Ronon and Teyla then could do absolutely nothing. At least Rodney got to make his little eye-rolling comments in the end, but really, what good is an episode of Atlantis anymore without the team together that makes the series great?...

The only real saving grace of Travelers was a) the kickass, one-hit kill on the dumbass Wraith Cruiser and b) the fact that Joe Flanigan this season really has come into his own. He alone made this episode bearable, or even entertaining in some regards, although I'll never get how he fixed that damn Lantian chair like he did. His best scene by far was when he bluffed the hell out of the Wraith with a worthless gun, in what amounted to a suspenseful situation that reminded me of the quality that season three of the series had last year. Besides that, he even got to throw some technobabble around, playing around with inertial dampeners and getting to kick ass with a whole assload of Ronon's gun. I can understand why he might want to Kirk it up a bit with whatever that Travelers' leader was called, considering the whiny vampire bitch from Blade has always been hot, so I'll give him some leeway for that. Afterall, if it wasn't for him and the fact that Joe Flanigan is really one of the reasons why I enjoy this series so much, I wouldn't be giving Travelers the benefit of the doubt that I am right now...

It's possible that the whole Travelers situation will turn out decent in the series for us. Now sure, the Genii never went anywhere, except to show off their constant stupidity, and we never got to make allies with Sateda and their triple barrel shotguns. But eventually and realistically, we can't just have the Daedalus and Apollo come to the rescue every episode, so it makes sense to have the Travelers around to bail and be bailed out of certain situations in the galaxy. If anything, their shield and weapon technology should help even the odds when it comes to battles against the Wraith (in terms of numbers), so like I said, I'm willing to give Atlantis the benefit of the doubt. While SG-1 was always about Ancient mythology, SGA has always just been about the technology of the Ancients, and the Travelers from what I've seen seem to fit right into that mythos. It could work, but forgive me if I'm a bit cautious just in case...

... afterall, I've been burned by too many dumbass, "smart" alien races in the past...

... goddam, the Tollans were fucking idiots...

... the first of far too many...

[c. visitors too bored to return...]
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