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Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Y2kk Update:           - Battlestar Galactica: Six of One Review (Spoilers...) -

Finally, Battlestar Galactica and Gaius Baltar gave me something to believe in...

For last week's episode, my biggest complaints were that there was a complete lack of emotion outside of Kara Thrace's return, the plotline where the Cylons just miraculously appeared at the Nebula and then turned tail and ran never went anywhere, Gaius Baltar then became literally the goddam Hand of God with his overdramatic prayers, and Starbuck acted like a complete and utter goddam whiny bitch...

Well, at least Six of One fixed three of those four goddam problems. Can't win them all, I guess...

When it came to emotion, there was plenty of it here when it came to Lee Adama. Now sure, his departure from the Galactica was perhaps a little too overdone thanks to the Celtic music that has become so overused. Still, it was a heart-warming moment to see everyone stand up and salute, and the writers even got in a not-so-token moment with Dualla. Wow, I forgot she even existed on this show, let alone was Lee's ex-wife. And really, I'm a sucker for every time that the Admiral gives his son a warm embrace. Sure, I'm not sure if I like where this plotline of Lee's is going, where he's going to follow in his grandfather's footsteps and perhaps even one day become president due to his law and military background. Still, while the future is unclear, for now I definitely enjoyed the scenes we got here with Jaimie Bamber. Probably his strongest moment in the longest of whiles was when he was saying goodbye to Kara Thrace, one last time. How can I possibly hate this episode when it almost felt like it could belong to season one?...

And thankfully, one major flaw of the season opener was remedied here by giving more intimate scenes between the Admiral Adama and Laura Roslin. When I say intimate, I mean emotionally, although I could've done without the cheesy ass line of "you can stay in the room, but get out of my head". Who the frak wrote that shit, I may never know, but it certainly did sum up the situation pretty succinctly. Laura and the Admiral both know and care about each other a great deal, and it really did affect me for a moment there to see them hurt each other so badly. Maybe I've just been hit with that emotional distance bug a bit too much myself as of late, but somehow I could relate to these two somehow being able to say anything to one another except how they truly feel. A wall had formed between the both of them, and for the first time since Pegasus, you can really see both sides of the coin here. On the one hand, there's no logical reason to trust Kara Thrace. But on the other hand, she's like a daughter to the Admiral. How the hell could he not hope that she's real and telling the truth?...

Gaius Baltar also improved dramatically this episode, all thanks to some slutty ass scenes with Torri (with a very gratuitous sexy leg scene, might I add) and the sudden appearance of the Baltar from Number Six's head in his own. That was definitely the highlight of this young season so far for me, just seeing James Callis go to work with himself, if that sounds good that is. It was obvious the actor was having fun, and it just felt natural as he played off himself (if that sounds good) to create a dynamic sort of discussion to "slay" the audience. After suffering through so many seasons of Six crawling in his head and Baltar crawling in her head, always to overdramatic tension and religious bullshit since the end of the first season, how the fuck can't I enjoy a little frakkin' comic relief and playful banter now and again? A fragile balance of comedy and meaning it was, I say...

And really, He That Believeth in Me would've worked so much better if SciFi had simply aired Six of One right after it last week. While we still haven't gotten our explanation of how the Cylons did find the fleet at the Nebula, at least the Raider's discovery that Anders was a Cylon did not just get swept under the rug. While I really do detest where the writers have brought the Cylon civilization over the course of the past two seasons, when some models essentially became "good guys" even after nuking dozens of billions of innocent people overnight, I could finally feel a little sympathy for the toasters when it comes to their desire to find the Final Five. I don't get what the big deal is with lobotomizing the Raiders, considering they were already restricted from having free will in the first place. But whatever, if a full blown Cylon Civil War means more gratuitous shots of either Boomer going topless or wearing the cutest damn green top I've ever seen in my life, then I'm all for love and war. Oh hell frakking yes...

"Handle with care." Oh, how I wish I could...

While Six of One was an episode that did a lot of things right, even going so far as to include a fucking smokin' hot Chinese girl by Baltar's side in the messhall, there were obviously a few downfalls that could not be avoided. Helo once again proved to be the stable rock that the show is built upon, or should I say the goddam useless pylon with absolutely no personality of his own whatsoever. I noticed Racetrack getting naked from poker ten times more than I ever did any scene with Helo from the past three fucking years. And really, the scenes of the four new Cylons getting together had a lot less impact than they did in the episode before. Maybe I'm just getting old of their routine again, but aside from telling Torri to take it all off for Gaius Baltar, nothing was said in their conversations to really make me give a new damn...

And honestly, somebody should just put a gag over Katie Sackoff's mouth in episodes where she tries to be emotional. Because seriously, her act of feeling betrayed and acting crazy at the same time? Sorry, but it was all about as convincing as Bionic Woman was as a goddam new series this past fall. The tears in her eyes only had meaning when reflected in the Admiral's and Lee's eyes. Any moment that the camera just centered on Kara's face itself rather than that of the actual decent actors on the show, was more painful for the audience than any fucking jump away from the Nebula was for her. I just hope the upcoming plotline where she has a garbage ship of her own goes somewhere and leads to a decent plotline fast, otherwise I hope she just gets lost in space for the good of the series once again...

So really, Six of One couldn't get everything in the Battlestar formula right, but it certainly went down with the ship trying. This was the episode that last week's season opener should have been, or at least should have included. I'm still far from believing that the series has been put back on the right track, even with the striptease from goddam Racetrack. But at least for now, I'm starting to see the light at the end of Athena's Arrow...

This week's showing got six things right and one plot point horribly wrong. In the end though, that's all I really ask for...

... along with Baltar sparing that one Chinese hottie for those in very much need...

... and provided I get six copies of Number Eight for shits and giggles on the side...

... as you know, just one final miracle...

Friday, April 11th, 2008

Y2kk Update:           - Battlestar Galactica: He That Believeth In Me Review (Spoilers...) -

I was planning to review Razor before getting into the new Battlestar Galactica series. But besides my eternal laziness when it comes to this noname site of mine these days, I saw no reason in the end to even bother talking about that television film. I absolutely hated the New Caprica arc back in the third season with all my heart and soul, and shoving some spicy Kristen Kreuk wannabe with an Aussie accent into the thick of things certainly didn't change my opinion at all. Hell, the only decent thing about late season two was seeing Fat Lee Adama for the very first time, but where the hell was he in the film? WTF?...

So for now, the above will have to suffice as my Razor review for the year. In the meantime, I have to admit, I was no more impressed with the season four opener than I was with the series' television movie premiere...

Okay, so we got a huge battle with the Cylons at the start. It wasn't a bad use of CG, but we never got an explanation for how the Cylons found humanity in the first place, or why they were suddenly hellbent on wiping out the fleet without even a warning shot. And sure, we got lots and lots of saucy women when it came to Gaius Baltar and his little One God revelation of a rendezvous. I sure as hell ain't complaining about seeing that cute little brunette he fucked, as she was probably the only good thing to happen to this episode. But really, do we need a "God" storyline where some being out there decides to miraculously heal a boy just so that Baltar can get in some girl's pants? I've enjoyed subtle touches from higher up, like we got in Hand of God perhaps, but full blown "miracles" in broad public? WTF?...

And then we get to Kara Thrace, miraculously back from the dead in what seems to be a brand new spanking replica of the Viper she blew up in. On the one hand, it was good to get some Starbuck action back into the show, if only she actually acted like goddam Starbuck. Instead, she was just a whiny and grating bitch who keeps complaining that they're going the wrong way, as if she was a goddam bitter housewife on a guy's night out road trip. The Starbuck I used to enjoy on the show was the hot shot who actually gave a frak about being the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be up there in the cockpit. Now, all we have is a broken down widow, although in this case, she just wouldn't stay goddam dead...

There were some decent scenes between Admiral Adama and the rest of the crew, specifically Lee and Laura Roslin when it came to their new found roles for the fourth season of the show. But even so, the only real emotion I felt from He That Believeth in Me came from really just a) Baltar frakking that ridiculously hot brunette, and b) Lee giving Kara Thrace the welcoming hug of a lifetime, only to be followed by a platoon of marines shoving their guns down her throat. The contrast in that moment was moving, but it was fleeting at best, especially considering it was followed up by bad acting all around and horrible token moments from Lt. Gaeta and Dualla of all people. Worse yet, we got too many minutes of pussy ass Helo and not enough scenes of Sharon showing exactly what she's made of. What the frak?...

I didn't give a shit about Kara holding Laura Roslin at gunpoint, considering the president is as good as dead anyways and might as well get it over with. It was such a cop-out to end the episode that way, especially since we all knew she wouldn't pull the trigger. The only plot point I did care for in He That Believeth in Me, was the continuation of the four new Cylon models shown on screen. There are a lot of question marks that come out over their identities. Why didn't the Cylons ever notice that Tigh was one of them when he was in captivity, and how the hell did he stick by Adama's side since the end of the first Cylon war without being noticed? Why wasn't the final of the Final Five Cylons revealed along with the rest of them? Why didn't Baltar's tests identify them when it did find Boomer? And how did Tyrol ever have a hybrid kid when John Glover just shoved his fat ass gut through a goddam metal pole? WTF?...

For a season opener, I liked the eye candy of a) nice CG explosion effects, b) Grace Park's gracious return to the camera screens, and c) that fucking hot brunette I'd so love to frak. There were a few decent scenes granted, such as Kara's return aboard the Galactica and three of the Final Five Cylons being right there as the Admiral and Roslin discussed their enemy. But besides all that, I was disappointed beyond all belief at how poorly the rest of the season was set up here in He That Believeth At Me. I felt like this hour was just a poor extension of the already shitty ass third season of the show, not a brand new and fresh start like I was hoping...

Because if this episode and Razor were really the best that the writers could come up with, especially after such a disappointing third season in my eyes?...

... then how the hell can I ever start believing in them again?...

... how the hell can I believe in Battlestar Galactica?...

... and how the hell can I bear watching?...

... sigh... Battleshit Season Four, it is...

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Veritas small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Veritas is Latin for "truth". And the truth of the matter is, Smallville has had a really bad second half of the season, and Veritas did not help in that regard in the very least. Not by much, at least...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"So, let me get this straight. We had Lionel Luthor, literally begging on his knees for ten minutes, yet he never once took the chance to actually say what he wanted to say? What kind of shitty ass writing is this? WTF?"...

Truth be told, I know that parts of Veritas were moved to the next episode (Descent) after the writers' strike was called off. Veritas was originally meant to be a season finale, and it wasn't so bad in that retrospect. It was good to see Milton Fine back, although he was far too MWAHA-ish for how overpowered he was to be taken seriously...

So, let me get this straight, not only is he capable of flight but also warp speed in space now? What's even more confusing, is that Kara Kent would for some goddam reason trust that Brainiac would keep his side of the bargain. Even worse than that, WTF was the point of her flying up into space? She does know that a) flying further away from the Sun only weakens her, and b) she only has 15-20 minutes of goddam "air" up there, right? So, umm, what the fuck can she and Brainiac do up there in fifteen fucking minutes only? No, wait, don't answer that one...

If there was one real highlight to Veritas, it's that Lana Lang finally got what was coming to her. I mean seriously, how could I not cheer when James Marsters stated that Lana there with the white eyes was in "excruciating" pain? More than that, finally we Smallville watchers got what we've been demanding for years, sheer fucking silence from that Kristen Kreuk bitch. There are rumours that she may not be back for the eighth season of the show, and leaving her in a catatonic state next to some angelic homage to her first encounter with Clark on the series, would've actually been a decent way to end things. At least then, I'd know that I'd never have to listen to her whine and grate and bitch ever again. It would've been a happy ending, if only this were the end of the season...

One thing that was good about Veritas was that every character had a decent role, just in case this was the final episode of Smallville. Chloe got to have Lionel begging at her feet, and she proved her loyalty to Clark yet again. Lois Lane finally made a reappearance, and strangely looked smokin' hot to me in a greenery or Green Peace or whatever kind of uniform. Jimmy the Bimmy made his return from the dead land of horrible script writing, by at least showing off some journalistic skills and integrity rather than just leeching off of any audience goodwill that Chloe can get these days. And hell, I even felt bad for Kristen Kreuk at times, since I know most people watching would surmise that her white eyed gig here was the best she's ever been on the show, and probably better than Tom Welling was in The Fog at least...

Where this episode falls apart though, is with the true heroes and villains of the show. I've already mentioned how completely dumbass Kara Kent was by capitulating to Brainiac's demands, as her only good contribution to this episode was looking hot and cute as hell while teaching Clark how to fly. Meanwhile, the boy wonder of Tom Welling looked clueless and emo angsty as hell the whole way through. Not only did he look like he was about to cry that his best friend of Lionel Luthor had betrayed him, but the actor is still refusing to just get off his feet and fly for ten fucking seconds of the series? His moments as the missile-like Kal-El a couple seasons ago were brilliant, and leaping onto a nuclear missile was memorable, so why not just soar into the air one last time? Not only did the character look lazy as fucking hell, but the actor looked lethargic and prima donna as well. Did Clark Kent achieve anything in Veritas, except look dumbfounded and confused while being whipped as Lana's slave, even though she couldn't actually say anything? WTF?...

John Glover meanwhile, did the best job he could in delivering the lines he was given. The problem was, while he was meant to be a man looking for repentance and redemption, he was just far too desperate and far too emotional to be taken seriously on his knees here. Like I mentioned before, why whine and plead with Chloe for ten minutes straight of her time, when he easily could have just said what he needed to say? Arguably, the character is looking to be appreciated and trusted again, more than his desire to actually help Clark out. But still, it was weird seeing John Glover go so above and beyond what we knew of his character. While it was an interesting change of pace, it did feel forced too much at times as well. Maybe it would've worked if the original ending to Veritas had stayed, but I suppose we'll now have to see how it all works out in Descent...

Lex Luthor was a decent villain, although I still wish he had kept Patricia Swann as the sex toy for his hot female aide and confident to play with. The strongest points of this episode came in the flashbacks, where we got more insight into Lex's past along with the truth behind the Veritas name. It was nice to see the return of the Teagues and Swanns, and it was always good to involve the Queens' past and mythology more with the Superman mythos. However, where it fell apart though was in the present, where the only thing Michael Rosenbaum got to do was stare off into space while dreaming, as if he was in a goddam soap opera. Although considering this is Smallville, I suppose there ain't much difference...

Basically, what I'm saying is, if the season had ended with Veritas? It would have been a lousy send off for Michael Rosenbaum and John Glover, if the seventh is indeed the final season that both will be in as regulars. But on the bright side? At least Lana Lang finally shut the fuck up. And the truth of the matter is, how the fuck can I possibly complain then?...

Despite how harsh I am on the series, I am relived to know that Smallville is coming back to finish off the seventh season. I would've preferred this to be the final year of the show, instead of dragging it on through an eighth where Tom Welling may barely even be back. But really, as long as I get more gratuitous shots of Kara Kent in sparkling and skin-tight baby blue, can I really goddam complain?...

Because truth be told, I'm sure there is some sort of real reason why I do continue to watch this show...

... I just haven't figured it out yet, that's the Veritas of it all...

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Traveler small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Okay, I admit I enjoyed Traveler for what it was worth, at least as much as the shitty ass Star Trek episode of the same name. But that doesn't mean that Smallville made any sort of plotline sense here in this episode. Not in the slightest least, in all accounts...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"If Lionel really was on Clark's side, why the hell would he hire Chief Tyrol? Not only is he a fat bastard with multiple copies, but wasn't he already on the show before and proved to be worthless? WTF?"...

So once again, here we have a plotline with Lionel Luthor acting all ominously and unnecessarily evil all over again, as if we was still being a total lying bitch to Lana Lang in the house of Luthor. Why the hell do the writers force us to put up with the same shit every single fucking season, simply because John Glover is normally a good enough actor to pull it off? Yet even he has his limits, and everything dealing with his character just felt so forced here in Traveler. So he built a cage to house Kryptonians, and developed Kryptonite taser weapons that are less effective than just throwing a goddam meteor rock, all for what? To keep Clark nice and safe and tortured until Patricia Swann showed up sporting a decent face but absolute knock-out legs to boot? WTF?...

Here let me get something off my chest, that thanks to Patricia Swan's chest and in the immortal words of The Sarah Connor Chronicles? "lol, too bad (she died). She was hot." I was so disappointed when they offed her character, not just because she could have continued on the Dr. Swann plotline, but also because I could stare at those legs in those goddam business skirts all fucking episode long. Why the hell didn't Lex see it my way though? You'd think that he would want goddam information, so why not just kidnap the bitch and sexually torture her until she gives up all the information he would ever need? Or at least, that's what I would do as the magnificent bastard's son, but apparently Lex really has no imagination as the villain of the story. WTF?...

Okay, the jist of this episode was that Lionel was acting as a complete wack-job for no apparent reason whatsoever, except to somehow protect Clark from something coming up this season. Didn't we go through this same stop gap shit last season? Can't the writers think of anything new? Once again, Clark throws a hissy fit, acting like a complete woman in not listening to reason after he was abused and tortured for one piddly ass episode. Does he really have that little faith in Lionel Luthor, a man who could just kick his ass then and there with a Kryptonite bullet anytime he wanted? It wasn't just the overall plotline of this episode that made no sense, but also Clark and Chloe's absolute refusal to listen to Lionel's side of things. Why not just let him talk, and only then kick his ass to the moon? Do they all have Lex Luthor syndrome or some shit like that? WTF?...

As for the rest of the cast of this episode, did Lana and Lois or anyone really show up here? Oh, right, Lana was with Chloe doing detective work, probably laughing to themselves about how hard it was to sneak into the Luthor mansion. And then there was the complete cop-out with Kara Kent when it came to her memory, just suddenly and magically fixing itself thanks to a pillar of light in the Fortress of Solitude. Was anything really accomplished there, besides Chloe admitting that she loves Clark, and Kara Kent losing the ability to look hot as hell in white clothing from that point of? Well, whatever, she looks awesome in any colour of clothes, transparent or not...

And what did we get from Tom Welling? Just him lying flat on his back, whining and griping and bitching in pain and agony? Sure, this time was caused by an evil Cylon bastard with a Kryptonite cage, but I personally didn't sense any difference between Clark Kent here and him normally being a complete pussy ass when it comes to Lana Lang. Traveler was not Clark's finest moment, regardless of what Patricia Swann had to say. Is this really the man we want to shape the destiny of this shitty ass planet of ours? WTF?...

The best part of Traveler on Star Trek: The Next Generation, was that it eventually led to Wesley Crusher being tossed off the show. I wish we could have had the same effect here with Tom Welling and Kristen Kreuk, but I guess we'll have to wait until next season to learn the truth behind that...

... or the Veritas really, of why Lex wasn't smart enough to keep Patricia on the show helpless in bondage...

I enjoyed Traveler for what it was worth, but sometimes?... or always, really...

... sigh... the writers just don't get it...

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Hero small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Wow, I know I complain about this a lot, but "Hero" as a fucking Smallville title? How fucking original is that? How the hell did it take seven fucking seasons to think up that name? And how in the blue hell does it actually apply to this craptastic episode?...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"Pete Ross returns... along with a freak of the week storyline, a pussy whipped Clark Kent, and a nonsensical script. What is this, season fucking two all over again? WTF?"...

Wow, good times, right? Just like good ol' times, even with Pete Ross still hoping that Chloe would finally go black over blue...

It's a pretty sad statement of fact when I say that Pete Ross' most memorable episode in the series was either the one where he rips off Fast and the Furious, or his date tries to suck out all the fat from his face. It's even sadder to think that Hero was worse than either of those two episodes, at least in terms of entertainment value, although I do admit the heart was there. This episode was titled, "Hero", simply because it was all about Pete realizing just what it felt like to be Clark when it was all said and done. Problem was, besides a hardy thanks and a hand shake at the end, was anything really resolved with the Ross character here? We all know it'll still be "light years" until we meet him again, so honestly, was his only true contribution on the series to show off his goddam Stride gum as a goddam advertisement? WTF?...

Did Clark do anything in this episode besides whine and pout? I don't even recall anymore if Lana or Lois had any sort of role with him in this episode, if they were even in it in the first place. Besides that, all I remember from Clark Kent was his wide-eyed pissed off look when he realized his best buddy of Lionel Luthor was withholding secrets from him. So what now, has Lionel Luthor replaced Lana Lang beyond just the LL name initials, to the point where he feels more betrayed from him than the love of his life? Well, that certainly explains a lot about Tom Welling as a character, but it sure didn't make for entertaining television here...

Lex was a snivelling bastard once again, and really the only saving grace of the series along with John Glover. I don't really know why Lex needed Kara's bracelet back from his father's vault, except to lure Kara more into his graces I suppose, but at least it provided some sort of plotline with the whole Veritas group to come. The two Luthors once again proved how acting should be like on the series, but I have my doubts with where this storyline is going with Lionel Luthor. Seriously, how many times can they turn him into a bastard bad guy on the series, only for him to prove that he was a good person all along, despite his ominously evil actions? The unnecessarily evil act gets old real fast, but at least the actor makes up for it by taking screen time away from the rest of the shitty ass cast on the show...

What else happened this episode? Chloe hides her secret from Pete, Mr. Ross then somehow lays a computer virus of a bomb on the entire office with some sort of l337 hacker skillz, and Lana proves to be a complete bitch in lying through her teeth to Kara Kent? And oh yeah, we got a Fantastic Four rip-off of a superpower, just fucking great. Yeah, err, not exactly the most stellar hour of television out there, I'm afraid to say...

... sigh... really felt far too much like the good ol' days of Smallville...

... or like any fucking season of the show, really...

Friday, March 14th, 2008

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: The Last Man Review (Spoilers...) -

The Last Man turned out to be the last episode of Stargate Atlantis for the season...

... and much to my surprise, it also turned out to be one of its best...

When I first heard the premise of Colonel John Sheppard being sent back to the future some 48 000 years without the use of a DeLorean, I had a bad feeling that the writers would jump the holographic shark and just have fun killing off all the characters. While the latter did come true, I was pleasantly surprised that the episode made a lot of sense in the context we were given. There were definitely epic and heroic moments littered throughout the hour, with Colonel Carter and Ronon providing key sacrifices, although the episode never does explain how Michael was able to manufacture or conquer so many damn Wraith Hive ships in so little time. But whatever, small details...

The Last Man painted an interesting landscape of a future for the SGA mission, in which it seems earth really has fucked over the Pegasus Galaxy as if it were its own private Middle East. I mean, I can understand why the SGC would do whatever it takes to make the Milky Way Galaxy as safe for us as possible, considering we were under constant threat and direct peril from enemies all around us. But the Wraith in the Pegasus Galaxy would probably never reach earth in a dozen lifetimes, and even if they did, they'd be a minimal threat to our Ancient defenses and Asgard technology of even the present, as long as they don't come in overwhelming numbers that is...

But alas, we royally did fuck up the Pegasus galaxy's balance, simply because we assumed that saving the people from being feasted upon by the Wraith was the right thing to do. What has happened since then? We woke up all the Wraith, causing a civil war with horrible collateral damage. We turned the Asuran Replicators off of auto-pilot, enough so that they started massacring all human life in the entire galaxy. And now thanks to Dr. Beckett's humanitarian efforts in re-humanizing the Wraith, we produced the new dictator known as Michael who apparently kicks us out of the promised land of Atlantis in the next 25 or so years. Wow, did that "expedition" to the Pegasus Galaxy sure turn out wrong...

But meh, whatever, I don't watch Stargate Atlantis for its political parallels. I watch it for good comedy, good characterization, and lots of lots of big ass explosions. The key to The Last Man was that we had here John Sheppard with Rodney McKay, albeit a much older version of the latter, proving once again just where the heart and soul of this series really lies. Whether the Rodney hologram was calling his creator the "great" McKay, or bitching that for some odd reason, Lantian solar panels (unless earth brought them along) can barely power a few little golf carts, how the fuck couldn't I have found The Last Man to be the last great episode of the season? And c'mon, you gotta admit, getting sent forty eight thousand years into the future in a blink of an eye is pretty "cool" if you think about, cooler than dating a supermodel in both mine and McKay's eyes, apparently...

The strength of this episode was entirely in David Hewlett's and Joe Flanigan's fate, and they certainly made the most of it. This was one of Sheppard's best episodes since at least Doppelganger, especially with his reactions to all the demises of his trusted friends. And like always, his banter with McKay has always been the highlight of the show. I got quite a few unexpected chuckles from this episode, whether they were debating over the badassness of sand storms, or Rodney putting Sheppard down as a "young man". David Hewlett himself had a gut-wrenching look on his face the entire time through, first appearing so damn relieved to see that Sheppard was indeed alive, and then so heart-broken when he had to reveal all the horrible news that had transpired. I don't know, I guess what made The Last Man such a memorable episode for me, was simply that I could really relate to everything that both Sheppard and McKay seemed to have felt the entire hour through...

It was an episode full of decent guest spots, with Zelenka having a token, one-second role and Teyla providing a lovely dead body in the middle of a room. Connor Trinneer once again proved to be a damn good villain, although lifting the head of a Wraith Queen over his own was a bit too much. The key introduction though was that of Richard Woolsey as the new leader of the Atlantis expedition. I'm personally interested in seeing where the writers take this next season, especially after having squandered Amanda Tapping's talents for the past year. But the problem is, how the fuck can I ever take Robert Picardo serious looking like that? Why the hell did they get rid of his suit and everything, when now he looks like the Emergency Medical Hologram for the goddam base...

"Please state the nature of your Pegasus Emergency." Did his Voyager self suddenly switch roles with Dr. McKay here or some shit like that? Because somehow, I can picture Woolsey just reiterating that line over and over again, as soon as the SGA team figures out how to unleash the Borg on the poor hapless Pegasus populations too...

Amanda Tapping wasn't exactly wasted in The Last Man, but she could've had a better role as The Last Woman on the Phoenix ship. To be honest, hit and run strategies when you have such overpowered weapons are not a bad idea (so, about five beam hits take out an Ori mothership, two or three are needed for a shitty ass Asuran Aurora warship, and now just three shots are enough for an entire Wraith Hive ship? WTF?), but why the hell would she ever try to get to the ambush planet before the Wraith did? It's not like the Wraith have no shields in hyperdrive to take advantage of, so why not appear somewhere else in the damn system first, away from any potential threats, just in case? WTF?...

Bizarro tactics aside though, it was sort of emotional to see everyone's favourite Colonel Carter literally go down in a blaze of flaming Phoenix glory there. Like I said, she's been wasted as leader of the Atlantis expedition, but she's always been a true hero at heart. Seeing her sacrifice herself like she did, was definitely Amanda Tapping's finest moment on all of Stargate Atlantis. Sad to think though, that it may be one of her last...

Ronon's demise was a bit unpredictable, in the sense that he went down hand in hand, fighting side by side a Wraith of all beings. But apparently, he can relate to Todd as much as he ever could with Teal'c, as the "indeed" moment between the two of them seemed to indicate. If anything, not only did Ronon's death have a very impactful and badass atmosphere to it all, but it also gave hope that maybe relations between the Wraith and humanity can be salvaged if only a suitable, alternative food source could be found for them. The Wraith are noble to those who they deem equals, and Todd definitely seems to have respect for Ronon and the SGA team and vice versa...

Earth ruined the balance of power in the Pegasus Galaxy and have been trying to fix the problem as if they were still dealing with the Goa'uld. As in, pure evil beings akin to a "thousand Hitlers", as Daniel Jackson once put it. But the Wraith are not exactly evil per say, but rather slaves to their own pride, honour and hunger. Sadly, making them become Michael's hybrids would solve all these issues if only Michael wasn't a complete asshole in taking over the galaxy and wiping out the weak with eugenics. Oh well, guess you can't win them all...

And I don't think we completely won out with The Last Man either. As much as I loved every single moment of Rodney telling Sheppard about his glory days with Dr. Keller, or having John get back at his "glitch" by claiming the old McKay had no hair to speak of, the episode was still tainted with a forced cliffhanger near the end. Why did the writers have to ruin the scope and bleak atmosphere of the hour, with such a lame finish with a building collapsing on top of the crew? Sure, now we may question whether Major Lorne will ever become the general he was in the previous timeline, but do we honestly think anything truly wrong would have happened to the rest of the cast and crew? Except that Teyla will now have to play dead in another unsterilized room, but that's about the only real difference I think...

Even so, even after leaving such a bad final taste in my mouth, I still felt that The Last Man was a great episode to finish off the season with, even though it had the last plotline synopsis that I'd ever consider to be good...

Rodney McKay and John Sheppard truly are the stars and spotlights of the show. Whether the two of them are bantering in their 30's, bitching at one another in their 40's, or bickering like an old couple twenty five years down the road, I'd watch this series just for them...

As long as those two are still on the show, or at least live on as snarky, sarcastic, emergency Pegasus holograms?...

Then I'll say, we'd still at least have twenty five more good years of Stargate Atlantis to go...

... or forty eight thousand, give it or take...

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: The Kindred (Parts 1 & 2) Review (Spoilers...) -

Yeah, I know. I've been so damn invisible online as of late. It's not like Atlantis has been bad or anything, I've just been lazy...

Okay, I stand corrected a bit. Midway was a good Atlantis episode, but The Kindred only made my positive side thanks to one man and one man alone...

It was no secret that Dr. Carson Beckett was returning for a guest role in the fourth season of Atlantis. Hell, didn't the writers and producers even put the man in the promos for the season or some shit like that? What was disappointing though, was that we did not get the real McCoy. This Carson Beckett was a clone, albeit with every single one of the original's memories since Trip Tucker stole his DNA. In a sense, the episode felt like a bit of a cop-out then, as alternate universe and different timeline characters always give me a sense of a cheap ratings grab by the big wigs, especially after they made such a huge mistake in killing off Beckett in the first place. On the other hand, it was just so good to see the Scottish doctor all over again, so much so that all can be easily forgiven. He and McKay easily were the heart and soul of this Atlantis team, and the series has just not been the same without them. Not until The Kindred at least, where even despite the lame ass excuse of a plotline to give Teyla some maternal shore leave, I still ended up having a soft spot for this show...

Alright, I'll admit that Teyla wasn't bad in this episode, showing a ton of concern for her child exactly like a mother should do. What I didn't like though, was all of her incessant whining and ranting and bitching over at Kanaan. I mean seriously, the guy has probably superhearing now, does he really need to listen to all this hormonal shit? First of all, why the fuck did Teyla fall for this loser in the first place? Not only does he look like a poor man's Ba'al, but he didn't even seem to have a personality before he was turned into a hybrid. I know that after Rachel's child is born in real life and after her character is 'rescued' from her maternity leave, she'll stick on the team in a vengeance sort of quest to get back her son and the father of her child. Meh, I can see it all coming, although I hesitate to do such because it normally ends up so generically cliche on Sci-Fi. Still, I'll give her credit where she does deserve it. She had some touching scenes when reunited with her leftover Athosians, and her disgust for Michael whenever the two of them met, certainly did remind me of my own so-called relationships from the past...

Sheppard didn't show much emotion in these two episodes and neither did Ronon, considering all that was going on around them. Nobody really seemed to give a true shit that Teyla was captured, rather preferring to mince words with Todd the Wraith over whether it was time to finally kill him or not. When it came to Dr. Beckett and all though, considering he was a clone, I can understand their reluctance to trust him and all. While Amanda Tapping did seem a bit too cold and distant in this episode for my liking, it did make sense that out of all characters, Sam would be the most objective about the situation, especially considering she never knew the real Dr. Beckett. Meanwhile, Sheppard was seeing it all from a tactical point of view until the very bitter end when he had to say goodbye to his old friend. And while after Midway, I was hoping for so much more from Ronon, at least the break-away hug he gave to the Scottish doctor was true props in a personal way...

The first part of Kindred was an episode that belonged to Teyla aboard Michael's ship more than anything else. It also was a boring episode, filled with her whining and yammering how she knew Kanaan was communicating with her over thousands of light-years, when really everyone knew it was Michael or some other Wraith from the getgo. What was even more disappointing, was that there was no real payoff for this kind of slow ass set-up of an episode. The Daedalus proved to be as incompetent as an Ori Ship in eliminating or disabling a target, sadly losing a bout to a Wraith cruiser of all pathetic warships. Meanwhile, what was the point of making all these Wraith and human hybrids if the writers are just going to skip the "big bad.. at first" syndrome effect, and make these villains fall for the same kind of nail clipper shit as a modern Jaffa would? I certainly hope Sheppard and co were battling human mercenaries more than anything else, because if they were hybrids, didn't these poor Athosian losers go down in a single hit or some shit like that? WTF?...

From the villain side of things, Michael did end up saving this episode, just like Michael Rosenbaum does on Smallville almost every single fucking week. Whether the half-Wraith was smelling Teyla's hair or laying the smackdown on Kanaan for losing his balls and wanting to free Teyla, Connor Trinneer proves that he is a great actor who really stands out on this show. On the other hand though, I think this episode also proved that it would've been so much more interesting to have had Michael as an ally of the SGA rather than the big bad. Todd with his sense of irony and humour definitely stole the spotlight with the few scenes he had, and I can't help but feel bad for Connor a bit that this kind of role could've easily been his. Still, why mince words when Michael even got to show off his awesome cockiness by standing up the cloned Doctor Beckett? Connor Trinneer provided a wealth of good scenes for a villain, and even though I feel he would've been better as a partial good guy in the end, I don't really have much to complain about. It's always good to see him back, provided we're not talking about the shitty ass episode Vengeance at least...

But the true star of the show was Dr. Beckett, as it's amazing just how much warmth and humanity he brings to the series by just his accent alone. It was strange having him have so many scenes next to Dr. Keller in The Kindred, considering the actor was just so much more emotional and so much more real feeling than Jennifer ever has felt. Then again, I can see just why the producers wanted Jewel Staite on the show, as any man with eyes would. Still, the series just has not been the same since Dr. Beckett stopped complaining about patients or refusing to listen to McKay's advice. It was all the little things that the good doc brought to the fold that have felt so lacking ever since he left. Hell, just the look on his poor face when he realized that not only was his real counterpart blown up in an explosion, but that Dr. Weir had died as well? It was heart-breaking, as the way the actor sold that moment simply felt so damn real. If anything, his slow walk and farewells on the way to the stasis chamber, could very well be the most poignant single scene in the entire fourth season of the show...

And it's not just Carson alone that makes this series feel so much more worth the wait. Beckett also brings out the best in Rodney McKay, as you can just tell how the both of them have bonded as true friends, both as characters and off the set. Rodney was just so broken up whenever he had a heart to heart talk with his old peer, as you could literally see the man's eyes sweltering as he revealed the truth that the SGA was not looking for Carson all along. McKay did and said everything in his power to protect his friend, as he simply did not care if Beckett was a clone or not, he just wanted the best and only true friend he's ever had in his life come back to him. I don't know if Rodney even had a single humourous line in all of The Kindred, but did it really matter when his entire performance was so damn emotional? He had the least amount of lines to say in the farewell speeches to Beckett at the end, simply because he refused to believe that this was truly the end. You could see the pain in his eyes, of not just losing his best friend once but twice. That alone redefines the meaning of "The Kindred" to me, more than Michael and Teyla and that shitty ass Ba'al wannabe ever could off to the side...

I do hope this isn't the last of Dr. Carson Beckett that we see, as all the scenes between him and Dr. Keller proved without a shadow of a doubt that while she's certainly easier on the eyes, Dr. Beckett really was the heart and soul of this goddam series. There's just something about his charm and innocence that simply cannot be replaced, and I really do hope the writers have realized what kind of huge mistake they made in killing him off for whatever reasons they may have had. The Kindred, like many second and third season episodes, was a total piece of shit when objectively evaluated from a plot and story arc point of view. But just like back in the good ol' days when I loved even most of the shittiest ass episodes, Dr. Carson Beckett and Dr. Rodney McKay made every hour feel like it had some sort of importance...

Sorry to steal a line from the latest shitty ass episode of Lost from this past week, but...

Dr. Carson Beckett is my constant...

... and with McKay, all 'shippiness aside?...

... they are the very definition of kindred...

[c. visitors too bored to return...]
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