- Welcome to IvanF's IVT No-Name Brand Website -
- boring everyone who comes online since May 5th, 2002 -

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Tabula Rasa Review (Spoilers...) -

Tabula Rasa. Always a fabulous sounding name. And kind of appropriate too, in more ways than one...

Once again, Stargate Atlantis has delivered a suspenseful, effective bottle episode that was more than just entertaining to watch. But still, a bottle episode is just a bottle episode in the end. Ultimately, it doesn't contribute much to the series at all...

Besides the quick update on the war between the Wraith and Replicators (the Replicator ships got their asses kicked, WTF?), there was absolutely nothing of continuity to be found in Tabula Rasa. In fact, it's a miracle that more "harmless" diseases like this one don't affect the people of Stargate every single week, considering that every fucking world in the universe would have a different set of bacteria and viruses on it. But accepting the Sci-Fi staple at face value of our immune systems being just that damn badass, the mutated disease should've at least had some effect on Teyla and Ronon, even if it was a slower and less pronounced one. But still, I enjoyed this episode for what it was worth, an hour of my life and nothing really more...

I did like the writing, the cinematography and a lot of the music choices that were made throughout the episode. The flashback sequences were greatly filmed, in the sense of just how lost and mysterious everything felt right from the opening credits. And the make-up must've been great, since even the Samantha Carter that we've known for ten years and counting looked completely different at first, not just from the long hair but from how lost and helpless she looked in her eyes. Carter didn't get to contribute much this episode, I even forget if she was the one in the trio wielding the Wraith Stunner, but even the little moments like when she forgot about her gate orders to Zelenka, seemed to execute so naturally within the flow of the show. Sam never stole the spotlight, and I guess she never really took charge either, but her presence alone was definitely a positive influence on what turned out to be a very effective standalone episode...

Like I said before though, I wish from a logical point of view that the disease had some sort of effect on Teyla and Ronon. At least headaches or something, just so that they don't feel like Superman all of a sudden. Teyla herself pissed me off to no end this episode with her continued knowledge of science and mathematics, even going so far as to know what the fuck the earth term of Pi means in the grand scheme of things. Why is it that she seems to remember everything about technobabble these days, when Ronon is now the one with a blank stare on his face? At least though, the big lug is entertaining, providing a convincing argument to the mind-wiped Sheppard about how shooting him couldn't possibly make his situation any worse. And at least Ronon has his big ass Travelers gun still, while Teyla is apparently useless without her little stick weapons. She even had trouble against the baffled Lorne with his guards, although maybe they just didn't want the pregnant actress to take a real fall or anything like that...

Still, both actors performed well within the overall flow of the episode, and the same goes for Joe Flanigan, even when completely brain-dead more than his usual self. I don't remember anything he did except point towards Ronon after he himself learned that he was Lorne's commanding officer. Either way though, after taking the spotlight and going full frontal in Travelers, it was nice to see him take a bit of a backseat here in Tabula Rasa. Sheppard still got his kicks and licks in when holding Ronon at gunpoint, and it's always good to see him somewhat pass the proverbial torch to Major Lorne, who really has been having a bad year with the mindfucks over on Atlantis (first sleep walking barefoot, and now gone crazy Commando? WTF?). The photo was a nifty idea that oddly enough worked, and it's somehow always a pleasure to see Joe Flanigan fly a Puddle Jumper, even though he can literally do it in his sleep...

Tabula Rasa belonged to the two characters of Rodney McKay and Dr. Keller (dammit, why do I keep on forgetting her first name?), although Dr. Zelenka got to get some more decent screentime in while along for the ride. Rodney was his usual self, confused as hell yet still the best comic relief that the Pegasus Galaxy has ever seen. Poor guy's only plan to escape the messhall was to charge in numbers against armed soldiers who didn't even remember who they were, but apparently it worked and he happened upon his old tablet PC anyways, so it's all good. Just the little things McKay provides to every episode, from his brilliant plan to mark the places he's been with an "X" (even if he'll forget what it means later on), to apparently being too lazy or forgetful to just press "ENTER" before making his own little music video about Teyla, I always gotta give my main man there props. And the writers almost got me there too, when it came to the whole Katie Brown situation. After Kate Heightmeyer's death, I was almost sure that Katie was a goner too, until I realized how useless of a character she is and then didn't give a shit. Shame she wasn't killed off to increase the red shirt count then, but whatever...

Jewel Staite held her own in this episode, seeming in charge of the situation, although she still somewhat struggles with the medical babble of being a doctor. Either way, she was absolutely adorable as hell with her hair all messed up like it was in the messhall, and you gotta feel bad for the poor girl as she was one of the first to get stunned when crashing the party of the door. Alas, a few of her scenes were stolen by the random doctors all around her, from that Asian woman who probably still wishes Beckett was around, to that random G4 guy in a lab-coat who once sang that Atlantis rap song, begging for a spot on the show (seriously, they actually gave him a role?... damn, what about me?). Still, how can I fault Jewel Staite when she looks just that damn cute, and plays the part of the bubbly, forgetful doctor to near perfection?...

Tabula Rasa was a decent episode, just not anything truly special. It left me in suspense, not knowing if Katie Brown would be the next to be offed, and it left me wondering what the solution to the situation would be (although the idea of a cure coming from the aroma of a goddam weed was a tad bit offbeat). It was a solid, well written bottle episode with some good character interaction, even if nobody really knew who the people they were speaking with were. And I've always got to give a few thumbs up any time that secondary characters like Zelenka and Major Lorne really get to shine. It worked wonders here, for a standalone episode at least...

Overall, it was an enjoyable experience in the same sort of mold that the first season of Stargate Atlantis often graced us with. It just wasn't the greatest or most epic of hours I've seen from the series, that's all...

Tabula Rasa was a solid showing with fascinating cinematography...

... but in the end, I guess, still forgettable...

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Lara small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Okay, something is definitely wrong with this picture...

How many episodes have there been in this season of Smallville so far? Five, six, seven?...

And how many of them have been actually good, now that Lara has aired?...

More than one? Seriously? Yet really, it's true. More than one...

More than fucking one? Wait a tick, is this a record or something? WTF?...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"Could Clark have possibly seemed more creepy at the end holding his mother's DNA? He sounded like some psycho with his mother locked up in the basement or some shit like that. WTF?"...

You see, the ending of Lara was a prime example of just how dumbass the writing can be on Smallville, or how fucking stupid it is on the series as the norm. Yet for some bizarre reason, this seventh season of Smallville hasn't been bad at all overall, starting from Kara and now leading into Lara. It certainly helps that Laura Vander-whatever as an actress is smoking hot, but there actually have been interesting and well developed plot points to this season so far, for some bizarre reason. Whether we're talking about the family issues between Jor-El and Zor-El, the introduction of Vandal Savage or even Lana fucking Lang's turn to the dark side of the force, I have to give credit where credit is due. I am somehow sadly enjoying this fucking season of goddam Smallville...

Like I said before... seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?...

This is not normal, especially considering the only good actors on the show are still being cast aside. Lois Lane was nowhere to be found, and Chloe's only use in this episode was to seem jealous when doing the usual bitch thing of pretending to be friends with her ex. John Glover really has always been the anchor of the show, yet it was his scene that felt the most awkward and off, with him talking about Starhawk and spouting a bunch of "Domestic Security" background crap. Even Michael Rosenbaum barely got into the game, taking one in the chest for the team when it came to trying to protect the blonde girl of his dreams, and then pulling a Clark Kent with his "oh shit" looks when there was really nothing else he could contribute to this episode. The actual real actors on the show did nothing in Lara, yet I still found it to be an enjoyable episode in the end anyhew? WTF?...

... this is getting weird...

I mean, you know the world has gone bizarro when it seems even Lana Lang is earning her dues. She seemed creepy as a lying bitch when it came to her Batman cave of a help agency, and her psycho vindictive performance was all done on fucking purpose for once. Kristen Kreuk really can pull off that evil woman sort of look to perfection, and it actually is working out here, especially when lying through her teeth to Chloe and Clark and whoever else. To be honest, if the previews for next week are any decent indication, I'm actually looking forward to next week's episode which is actually devoted to Lana Lang. Seriously, when was the last time I actually wanted to see the damn bitch on screen? Has it ever even happened before in goddam history? WTF?...

And how the fuck can I ever forsake Lara Kent, especially when looking smoking hot in that Matrix red dress of hers at first, only to slink back into the most tight ass of jeans later on. Now sure, there were moments when she was completely over the top, namely when she turned all teenage angsty about not being able to trust family and shit like that. I mean seriously, how long has she known Clark, a few weeks? And fuck, it's not like I give a shit about my cousins and what they think of me, so why should she? And of course, I rolled my eyes at her sudden new ability to hack into the Pentagon computer systems, even though she might find our highest tech to be primitive and easy to learn, I suppose. Still, whether it came to cheap ass flying scenes against airplanes or how absolutely adorable she seemed in her little flashback videos in the barn, I really enjoyed Laura's performance this episode. She's just so bubbly and cute and actually decent as an actress, that I honestly would not mind a spin-off based on her character at this point in time. Bizarre, I know, but I've done a complete 180 degree spin on my stance from my opinion in the season opener of Bizarro...

And as for Clark Kent? Well, all creepy-son attitude aside, he didn't do a bad job overall. Sure, he's being his old dumbass self by lying through his teeth to his cousin about not knowing where the blue crystal is. But considering that's still ten times more intelligent than he normally is, I'll let it slide just this once. Though I admit, I'm still rolling my eyes at the writer leeway of his goddam sudden immunity to Kryptonite, but whatever. Lionel was apparently too late off the plane or some shit like that, so nonsensical plot movement had to take precedence over continuity and common sense. I'm all too used to it on the series, so I'll move on...

For the rest of the episode, I actually thought Tom Welling did a decent job of trying to console and relate to his cousin Kara, even if the two really are from separate worlds. It also helps that he got his ass kicked in by a little girl, thanks to the actor still being too stubborn just to learn how to goddam fly. But whatever, I'm just shocked that thanks to little or no goddam emo angst between him and Lana this season, that Clark Kent has actually resembled the intelligence level of an actual human being. What is the world coming to, seriously? Has the axis of the planet been switched to rotate backwards or some shit like that? WTF?...

Not only that, but we got some actual interesting Superman mythos shit in Lara, namely by meeting the character in question with that very name. Now, it really made no sense how the picture of Clark's biological mother managed to remain undiscovered and undisturbed for twenty or more fucking years, but it was still worth it to see just how sweet Kara was back in the day, and how benevolent of a mother Lara really was in her memories. Of course, can't forget Zor-El bashing in through the door like some dumbass sitcom character, then being stupid enough to talk about assassinations and widow rape while his own daughter with superhearing was right outside the house. But meh, all Kryptonian stupidity aside, I really am enjoying this sudden revival and reversal of truths, where the Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude really might be telling the truth of things. Now, if only we could figure out a) how the fuck the door to the Kent house was fixed and b) how the fuck Lara and co got back to Krypton when all the Half Life portals had closed, then maybe I can count Lara as a good episode of television overall rather than just an excellent episode of Smallville?...

Realistically speaking, the quality of Smallville so far this season has been all relative, not just to its previous shitty ass years but also to every other television show on right now. Heroes has been picking up lately but was slow and boring as hell at first, Battlestar Galactica still hasn't started up, and I haven't gotten into any new show for the new year except for maybe Chuck and the odd episode of Pushing Daisies. In comparison, Smallville so far in its seventh season has been going on pretty strong, enough so that I'm actually looking forward to the next fucking episode for the first time in ages. WTF?...

Since when was the last time I could honestly say that with a straight fucking face?...

... something is definitely goddam wrong with this picture...

... disturbing, yet undisturbed for twenty fucking years...

Sunday, October 28th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Travelers Review (Spoilers...) -

I used to hate Stargate episodes back on SG-1 that dealt with advanced human cultures and shit like that. If anything, I thought they ruined the purity of the mythology of the series, the idea that Goa'uld had indeed kept the entire galaxy in the dark ages. And as a huge Ancient history buff myself, I didn't like how the writers were essentially deluding the premise of the SG-1 series opener with everything I knew and once loved from Star Trek...

... besides, the Tollans were fucking dumbasses...

But after the introduction of the Prometheus and F-302 on SG-1? I was mentally prepared for all the Sci-Fi space faring shit when Atlantis first premiered, even if I was never a real fan of it with the Stargate name in the first place. What I got instead though, was a wonderful surprise of a first season of SGA, one that was great because it really did rely solely on primitive like cultures and travel through the actual Stargate. The second season did jump the gun a bit with goddam technobabble and the introduction of the Daedalus as the deus ex machina of the series, but thankfully, the third and now fourth seasons of the show have been bringing Atlantis closer to its original Stargate roots. I've been pretty happy with SGA as a series with the SG name as a result...

But when the preview for Travelers first aired? I don't know, guess it sent a shiver down my spine, and not in the greatest of sense. I didn't want yet another hi-tech, Star Trek Voyager-esque human species mucking up the great bottle and bonding episodes that SGA has recently been producing. And immediately, after seeing the initial premise of the episode where John Sheppard was too fucking lazy to even cloak his Puddle Jumper on first sensor warning notice, I was certain that I would be facing and enduring yet another shit ship episode as Prometheus Unbound was back in the day...

Truth be told, Travelers in the end did not turn out to be a bad episode, and the overall premise for it did make sense. Space is vast, and the Wraith sleep for centuries at a time. It does make sense that there would be a space-faring, Firefly like race out there that survives off of vulture-like scavenges. And hell, finally we got to find the source (most likely) for that badass gun that Ronon somehow found while as a Runner. The Travelers themselves were not a bad race overall, just a bit misguided and ignorant and desperate, though the humour in this episode was sadly more laughable than anything else. If only they had Jane from Firefly on their side, and maybe some Jewel Staite (ironically, she was not in this episode), maybe I wouldn't mind watching this hour again in my bunk?...

They did have what's-her-name from the Blade TV series, and while she was real shaky in this episode at first (literally, it sounded like her throat was horse) and she still can't act worth a damn, I personally thought that she played the role of the tough bitch girl rather well, or at least like Vala 1.5 if you will. Problem is, until you put more depth into a character like that, you better hope the actress is hot as hell because the personality is just too cliche to be interesting. Whatever her name was in the episode (notice that I don't even remember already), she had a few good kicks and stumbles against the Wraith, she showed a few balls by risking the lives of her men with the radiation, and she showed some actual intelligence by taking Sheppard up on his offer for an alliance. Even so, the writers tried far too hard in their attempt to make her out to be Sheppard's Wrath of Khan of an equal, which all failed miserably from a) her horrible acting and b) the fact that it took John's own Kirking to get his fucking ass kicked in the end...

Oh, Sheppard. I know she's hot, but with a Wraith right behind you, what the fuck were you thinking?...

"Just once, I would like to be taken captive by the sexy alien"...

I hear you, Rodney. I hear you loud and clear. But the problem is, with an episode like Travelers (and Prometheus Unbound in the past), there is no team chemistry between the team, because the team is simply nowhere to be found. At least Rodney got to look a bit intelligent with the detection of the morse code, although it really led nowhere when apparently neither the Daedalus, Apollo or the fucking Odyssey with its suped up hyperdrive were anywhere to be found for the rescue. Instead, it took forever with a Puddle Jumper fleet just to get to the Aurora-class battleship that Sheppard was on. In the meantime, we got meaningless, generic comments from Ronon and Teyla how nothing would stop them from getting the Colonel back, only for the Travelers to enter hyperspace a second later and, guess what, Ronon and Teyla then could do absolutely nothing. At least Rodney got to make his little eye-rolling comments in the end, but really, what good is an episode of Atlantis anymore without the team together that makes the series great?...

The only real saving grace of Travelers was a) the kickass, one-hit kill on the dumbass Wraith Cruiser and b) the fact that Joe Flanigan this season really has come into his own. He alone made this episode bearable, or even entertaining in some regards, although I'll never get how he fixed that damn Lantian chair like he did. His best scene by far was when he bluffed the hell out of the Wraith with a worthless gun, in what amounted to a suspenseful situation that reminded me of the quality that season three of the series had last year. Besides that, he even got to throw some technobabble around, playing around with inertial dampeners and getting to kick ass with a whole assload of Ronon's gun. I can understand why he might want to Kirk it up a bit with whatever that Travelers' leader was called, considering the whiny vampire bitch from Blade has always been hot, so I'll give him some leeway for that. Afterall, if it wasn't for him and the fact that Joe Flanigan is really one of the reasons why I enjoy this series so much, I wouldn't be giving Travelers the benefit of the doubt that I am right now...

It's possible that the whole Travelers situation will turn out decent in the series for us. Now sure, the Genii never went anywhere, except to show off their constant stupidity, and we never got to make allies with Sateda and their triple barrel shotguns. But eventually and realistically, we can't just have the Daedalus and Apollo come to the rescue every episode, so it makes sense to have the Travelers around to bail and be bailed out of certain situations in the galaxy. If anything, their shield and weapon technology should help even the odds when it comes to battles against the Wraith (in terms of numbers), so like I said, I'm willing to give Atlantis the benefit of the doubt. While SG-1 was always about Ancient mythology, SGA has always just been about the technology of the Ancients, and the Travelers from what I've seen seem to fit right into that mythos. It could work, but forgive me if I'm a bit cautious just in case...

... afterall, I've been burned by too many dumbass, "smart" alien races in the past...

... goddam, the Tollans were fucking idiots...

... the first of far too many...

Saturday, October 27th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Action small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Well, it's settled. Smallville officially wins the Emmy for best fucking episode name ever made...

No, wait. Seriously, "Action"? I don't know what's worse, the fact that the writers thought that was a good title, or that it took them seven fucking years to finally become sophisticated enough to comprehend such a word. WTF?...

And why?... well?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"So, it takes a fucking parody of the Smallville show, to actually establish some sort of connection to the actual Superman comic book? How the fuck does that make sense? WTF?"...

Ironically, Action was the "Wormhole Xtreme" (if you know Stargate) of the Smallville universe, where the episode literally makes fun of the series itself by parodying everything it stands for. Hell, there was even the random MWAHAHA villain of the week posting on blogs, who might as well have been inspired by any of us Smallville ranters and complainers out there on the net, bitching that Smallville has ruined whatever canon continuity was ever held sacred in the Superman universe. Fuck, was it just me, or did Action fucking rip off the same fucking storyline as we bloggers went through with the first Spiderman movie? Except here, it's Lana Lang being tossed off a bridge (err, ahem, I mean a building) and being saved at the latest minute when we fans were all begging and crying for her to die...

... except in this case, we were all demanding her death for every single reason BUT comic book continuity...

On the one hand, Kristen Kreuk was not that bad in Action. She played the role of an evil bitch villainess rather well, first slamming Lionel's head in with a shovel and then playing all pretty and nice with Clark over the cell phone a minute later. Hell, she even potentially held her own against John Glover when the two were verbally sparring later on, although of course, the great Lionel Luthor still in the end made the actress look like dog shit. The thing is though, like I've said before, Kristen can play the role of the queen bitch reasonably well, but what I've been surprised at is the fact that all her mushy, lovey dovey scenes with Clark this season have not rolled my eyes straight to the back of my head. When the two of them graced foreheads, I didn't throw a sledgehammer into my television or anything, but rather I oddly enough found it to be goddam cute. Maybe it's just because of the romantic things (or lack thereof) that's happening in my life, that all make me wish I could goddam relate, but still, WTF?...

Of course, it helps that the scene with both Lana Lang and that Rachel girl (who was essentially playing the role of Lana in the Warrior Angel movie) was purely fucking hot and lesbian as hell. But of course, that's a story for another day...

Tom Welling himself wasn't truly goddam atrocious in this episode either. His scenes with Lana felt more real and innocent than they did goddam angsty, and even though he ignored both Chloe and Lois Lane as if neither really existed, I don't have really that much to complain about his performance here in Action. Maybe it's just because ironically, an episode parodying the Smallville series itself actually did give Clark a fucking kick in the pants to get off his fucking ass and do something for the world, but I actually enjoyed the little moments in this episode, like him falling like a goddam brick from a ten thousand story building or whatever sort of crap. Just the little things, like catching a bullet and then being dumbass enough to stare at it in his hand (as usual), were a lot more enjoyable to me than normal simply because this episode didn't really take itself seriously at first, and once it did, it really did feel like a comic book story...

The first half of Action was horrible, don't get me wrong, with little to no action or plot whatsoever but for the cheesiest ass moments with Warrior Angel filming. But eventually, when it came to the whole Gwen Stacy death of a plotline (err... Mary Jane... no wait, Lana, I meant...), things starting feeling real and meaningful for a comic book fan such as myself. Obviously, the situation got a whole lot more personal for a guy like Lex Luthor as well, who still houses all his Warrior Angel comic books in cryo-stasis for eternal preservation. It sucked balls for him that even after trying to help Clark, he still wasn't able to get definite proof of the existence of comic book heroes from a crazy, MWAHAHA villain who fucking now lives in an institution full to the brim with superpowered freaks. How the fuck is that not fucking proof, and yet the guy still denied it all to Lex's fucking face? Poor fucking evil guy then, he truly has gone crazy. WTF?...

I forget what Lois Lane and Chloe did this whole episode, so I'll just ignore talking about them. If anything, the plotline for almost every character in Action was cliche and derivative, but I suppose everything just felt a lot more mature and glued together thanks to the return of John Glover as Lionel Luthor. Now, I have no idea what was the point in keeping him captive by a crazy Alanis Morisette woman, except to show how much of a vindictive cheerleader bitch Lana really is. But meh, does it really matter, when even stuck in a bear trap, John Glover still kicked fucking ass? Not once, but twice with a fucking blunt object to the head to boot? Hell, he can even give the current Sylar on Heroes a run for his money as the best damn "Brick Man" superhero there ever was when it comes to taking out people with goddam rocks. Now THAT's a true superpower...

But of course, don't get me wrong. Despite all my praise, Action was still a shitty ass, mediocre episode filled with "oh shit, that was so dumb" moments. Why the fuck did Clark leave his cape just flapping dramatically in the wind like that while pouting out his big blue chest? Was it supposed to be a slow motion, Matrix Neo moment or something, trying to look all badass without a single shred of logic or common sense? WTF?...

But despite the horribly cliche villain, despite the silliness of the overall parody plotline, I still pretty much give Smallville at least a little bit of credit every time they even manage to inch a bit forward towards that goal of turning this Tom Welling of a Clark Kent into the Superman we all know and love...

It's pathetically sad that an episode as bad as Action turns out to be like water or mana in the middle of a desert. But no matter what, at least in relation to other goddam Smallville episodes? I didn't mind Action, if only because it was still better than the first goddam Spiderman movie...

... Gwen Stacy goddam bullshit...

Sunday, October 21st, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Doppelganger Review (Spoilers...) -

Doppelganger. I've always found that to be such a weird word...

Wouldn't it have made more sense to call this episode, "Bizarro"? Or "Dark Mirror", if we're talking about the goatee reference here?

If anything, the idea of an evil twin or double in Sci-Fi is purely cliche and has been done a thousand times before by Star Trek alone. But the thing is, Stargate Atlantis has a way of making old ideas feel fresh and new again, in my honest opinion at least. Doppelganger won't score many points with the Sci-Fi crowd when it comes to originality or unpredictability, but the overall execution of the episode was so well paced and written that I can't help but feel like the old SGA has really returned...

... well, except for those fugly ass, new uniforms of theirs, but that's a story for another day...

The concept of a crystalline entity is nothing new in Stargate lore. Hell, Colonel Carter herself referenced the first season SG-1 episode of Cold Lazarus here, not to mention her own close encounters with possession in Entity and Lockdown (and she can't have forgotten her Tokra symbiot moments either). Doppelganger was written a lot like an SG-1 episode, for better or for worse, depending on whether the writers were intending it to be a cross-galactic bridge to lure old fans over to the new season. On the one hand, I felt it was weird and awkward how it took an SG-1 technological solution to solve the SGA issue at hand. But on the other side of things, Carter really did make this standalone filler of an episode flow with the least amount of technobabble I've heard for quite a while...

Because while it can be argued that Doppelganger was nothing more than a standalone bottle episode to bide some season time, I'd prefer to point out that it was a well written and executed "bonding" episode between all the members of the cast and crew. Every single character got a moment to shine in Doppelganger, whether it was Zelenka saving the day when all "bets" were off with Rodney, or whether we're talking about Major Lorne making a reappearance sans shoes for the first time in quite a while. And to be honest, while it was unnecessary to kill off Dr. Heightmeyer, it's not like she was that useful of a character, and her sudden demise definitely lead to a lot more tension and suspense in this nightmarish sort of episode for the series. Even though I knew Rodney wasn't leaving the show, I guess Kate's death helped lead me in feeling floored and shocked and goddam confused when the same thing unexpectedly happened to McKay...

No show has ever done dreams as well as Buffy the Vampire Slayer depicted them back in its fifth season, but I've gotta say, I was quite impressed with some of the ideas and insights put forth through the dreams here in Atlantis. To sum up what apparently everyone fears, Teyla was afraid of Ronon and Sheppard misinterpreting her feelings, while Dr. Keller was fearful of freezing up at key moments and losing her patients. Ronon probably had the most interesting of dreams, terrified of being alone but even more so paranoid of being betrayed. Rodney still hasn't gotten over his fears of whales, even after episodes like Grace Under Pressure and Echoes, and apparently he too shares the same sentiments as Sheppard does about goddam evil clowns. Sheppard himself fears the worst in himself, in failing and losing all the friends he has made, and it was all completely evident in just how lost he seemed the very moment that McKay was pronounced dead...

Meanwhile, Dr. Heightmeyer was afraid of blonde hair and... err... heights?...

... oh, the irony...

Outside of their dreams, it's not like Teyla and Ronon contributed much to this episode. Still, the two of them were friendly with every other character in ways that they haven't been in a very long time. Teyla was being a complete bitch in treating Sheppard as if he were his evil twin after her dream, but besides that, she was warm and compassionate and even shared an embrace or two. Ronon meanwhile, was the typical guy when it came to dreams, shaking them off as complete meaningless dribble. He pretended not to care, but throughout the episode, you could see that some things definitely did shake him up at times. He was out of his element, as he normally is the guy who blasts away at the corporeal baddies, and he tried his best to hide his fears and helplessness with actual real comedy, including some awesome references to Alien...

... "I have got to see this movie"...

I said that Doppelganger was a great bonding episode for the team, and that includes both Colonel Carter and Dr. Keller. Carter herself still felt very much like her SG-1 self at times, whenever she was relaxed and calm around Rodney (the only character she feels like her old self with, which I consider to be great acting), but extremely poised and stoic whenever it came to those moments of leadership she had (even when she was talking to Keller after her speech). It could be argued that Carter felt almost too much like Dr. Weir at times, as if the lines had originally been written for Elizabeth instead. While that could be true, I'd rather just argue that Elizabeth stole all of General Hammond's lines, and that Carter was channeling her old mentor instead. I prefer that explanation, and choose to ignore her bizarro, Princess Leia hairstyle as well...

This was Dr. Keller's first big episode on the small screen, and while at times it was like watching a college girl in a hot sorority house (she did seem too young and naive for her position), I've got to admit that Jewel Staite is not a bad actress. She certainly has a pretty ass and an adorable smile, but she also seemed to gel well with a lot of the other members of the team, namely Rodney and Ronon at times. Here, she was put under real pressure for the first time since Adrift, and while some of the ideas she put forth felt forced and unnatural (as if the writers wanted so hard for her to seem smart and creative), she never did feel like she was completely out of her element. I still would prefer Dr. Beckett in that infirmary, and sometimes you could feel the writers channelling the old Scottish guy with some of Dr. Keller's lines (her jokes towards Sheppard, for instance). But for the most part, I thought Jewel Staite was doing a good job under the circumstances. And the extra eye candy on the show with the loss of Dr. Weir certainly doesn't hurt things at all...

But as we all know, no matter what kind of bonding episode we get with all members of the cast and crew, Stargate Atlantis will forever be known as the McKay and Sheppard show, and for good reason. Even with the least amount of lines he's had in a while, Rodney McKay once again stole the series with almost every scene he was in. Whether he was hedging on a bet against Zelenka or going all bug-eyed when Carter ordered him back to the crystal-littered planet, this was the good ol'fashioned Rodney we were dealing with here. In every single moment he was in, whether he was sulking as hell that he was suckered into the rubber-insulated room or warning Sheppard that his dreams can be weird as fuck, I think I laughed or snickered at every single Rodney McKay line there was. Hell, even the sight of Ronon and Dr. Keller rolling their eyes at Meredith's (yes, I'll call him that here) tales of the horrors of high school had me rolling in stitches. Plus, it certainly helps that I share his fears of a) being alone in the freezing shit water and b) watching fucking Alien of all fucking films...

... besides, Aliens with a fucking "s" was so much fucking better...

The true star of the episode was Joe Flanigan though. His chemistry with David Hewlett was once again amazing, whenever they complained about evil psycho clowns or the complete lack of hot girls in their dreams. But what I have to give Joe most props for, was absolutely how effortless he acted as the bad guy on the series. Just from his posture and sheer facial demeanor alone, you could instantly tell which was the cold-hearted bastard of a goatee-less villain, and which one was the casual and cool John Sheppard that we've always known. Joe didn't play the role of the bad guy as over-the-top cheesy at all, rather acting coyly and so coldly and cruelly with every facial expression he could while burying Ronon alive like he was. Just a great overall job, as it seriously felt like we were dealing with his real, evil goddam twin at times...

Not only that, but the fight sequence against the two John Sheppards was amazingly choreographed with barely a hint of green screen whatsoever. It was like a great blend of both Terminator and the Matrix. Hell, I half expected Joe Flanigan to realize it wasn't air he was breathing and then start kicking Neo ass. And the resolution of McKay being brave enough to risk his life by going back for his friend, was exactly the kind of bonding that I've felt this show has been missing for quite some time now...

Now, I could be speaking too early, considering I felt the first half of season three was solid as well until everything fell apart around the mid-season, The Return. But really, there was just something about Doppelganger that felt like the real spirit of Stargate Atlantis, and not that horrible technobabble of an evil clone we've been putting up with throughout the past two seasons combined...

The only problem with this episode? The propping up of Alien on a goddam film pedestal...

... it's all about Aliens, with a capital 'S', bitches...

Though no, I still haven't seen the original Alien myself...

... nor read Moby Dick...

... too fucking scared, really...

Saturday, October 20th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Cure small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Smallville... it's my goddam fucking Kryptonite...

And why?... well...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"Jimmy dumps Chloe in a meteor rock heartbeat, the very moment he gets a chance with Kara? Since when did he become the smartest character on the show? WTF?"...

To be honest, I kind of sympathized with the guy in that scenario. I don't know, it's never good to be with a girl who basically won't tell you anything about herself. A relationship is supposed to be about trust, and obviously Chloe never really trusted Jimmy. Neither did the audience, which hopefully means his photographer of a character will be out of the goddam picture for a while. Still, in this backwards bizarro world of ours, I did feel bad for the poor lug at one point or another. He was taken advantage of by a super hot and vulnerable-seeming Kara Kent (not that I can blame any man with eyes for that), and then lied to through the teeth by the girl he cared most about. Sure, he was perhaps too goddam quick on the trigger to dump Chloe at any moment's notice (he was just waiting for any excuse to go after Kara, wasn't he?), but Jimmy can hardly be blamed for the way he feels. I dunno, guess in recent days, I've just been able to unfortunately sympathize a bit, that's all...

But wait a tick. I, IvanF, actually am relating to Smallville? WTF has the world come to? WTF?...

Thank God the rest of the episode was still the usual boring shit, although strangely enough, none of it was nearly as bad as the show normally turns out to be. Take Lana Lang for example, as usually she's the queen bitch whenever she tries to be cute and innocent and adorable. But here, to be honest, Kristen Kreuk actually played the role of a lying goddam damsel bitch to near perfection. You could always tell there was some evil intent in her eyes whenever she was trying to be close to Clark, and it turned out to be all true at the end when she entered her own private enclave of a Batcave. Whether the actress intended for her acting to be that precise, guess we'll never know. But just like there were moments last year as a total queen bitch where Lana Lang finally felt like a real character, I guess the same sort of shit applies here in Cure...

Lex Luthor was the opposite of Lana this episode, in the sense that he's apparently reverted back to his old form from three seasons ago. Once again, he's playing the role of the good-intentioned bad guy, shooting Dean Cain six times in the chest, hoping that the fellow was truly no longer the Man of Steel. He then helps Clark out in finding Chloe for some goddam reason, maybe because the former did save his life afterall, but it all rang so false considering that Lex himself was the one who kidnapped Chloe last season for her abilities. Is he still keeping tabs on her powers, or did he simply pass all the information onto Dr. Knox? Either way, Michael Rosenbaum once again stole the show with his acting abilities. I hate to admit this, but one of the strengths of Smallville in the past was always the uneasy friendship between Lex and Clark, and surprisingly (and shockingly... ha?) it was nice to see it back here in Cure...

Cure was an interesting episode thanks to the introduction of one of Superman's oldest and more storied villains from the comic books. Now, the writers never did explicitly state that Dr. Knox was indeed Vandal Savage, but if anything, the picture next to Hitler and the Dark Mirror "goatee" look simply gave away the fact. For those who don't know, Vandal Savage in essence was the first ever meteor freak, a fifty-two thousand year old immortal who gained all his powers and intellect from a meteorite strike back in the caveman days. If any villain makes sense to have as a reoccurring character in the Smallville universe, it's the one and only real meteor freak in all of DC comic lore. And to be honest, while I had real reservations and hesitations about Dr. Knox being played by Dean Cain of all Superman saps, I gotta admit that Mr. DC didn't do such a bad job with his revitalized comic book role here...

I don't know why I didn't mind Cure as an episode much, but something about it just worked much better than the vast majority of Smallville episodes ever made. Maybe it was because for once an episode actually centered on Chloe, the only real actress left on the show, even if her plotline was sullied by some completely out of character ideal to have her powers and memories removed. Still, while it did seem like Chloe was on PMS and completely out of her mind, it didn't change the fact that Allison Mack did a very good job with the material she was given. Whether it was hesitating whenever she thought of her decision to remove the meteor rock from her heart, or the tears that stroked her chin as Jimmy was breaking up with her over the most silly of secrets, I really did find that a Smallville episode didn't roll my eyes and gouge my hair out (for the most part) for the first time in a very long time...

Which is weird, that I actually enjoyed an episode where we did get more Lana Lang and Clark Kent angsting. Then again, since the two are finally together, maybe the angst factor was toned down to the point where I could concentrate on the Superman mythos instead? Because if anything, I was interested not only in the Vandal Savage plotline (with Clark kicking his ass into an electrical power box), but also in the blood feud running between the Martian Manhunter and Kara Kent. From the comic books, I'm not familiar with any division in the House of El back on Krypton, so I assumed that the Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude was just Zod being a pompous ass all over again. But if the Martian Manhunter claims that Kara is a threat to the family too, then unless this isn't the real MM or Eminem we're dealing with here, I'm now confused and kinda intrigued as to what's going on. And I guess for once, all of Clark Kent's "oh shit" looks finally make goddam sense...

Cure was still far from a perfect episode. Ma Kent was nowhere to be found (her missing presence really has been felt), John Glover is still dead in a ditch somewhere, Lex Luthor as a character still hasn't developed anywhere close to the villain he should be, and of course, Lana fucking Lang was still present on the show...

But still, whenever we do get a Chloe-centric episode, especially one deeply rooted within the actual Superman mythos?...

... well, it's not much of a cure for the goddam kryptonite known as goddam Smallville...

... but at least, it's a start...

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Reunion Review (Spoilers...) -

Finally, it feels like Stargate Atlantis is truly back...

... almost like a reunion of sorts, if you will...

This week's episode was perhaps a bit cliche, a bit predictable and perhaps more of a bloody sitcom than anything else. But I don't know, I also felt it had the right spirit for Stargate Atlantis back for the first time in probably over a year. There was just that right sort of friendly, familiar balance of action and comic relief, with good character development and comedy banter littered throughout the hour. It wasn't the most original or engrossing episode of television ever made, but honestly, the best of Atlantis was never meant to be that way. It was an enjoyable character piece with some good development of central story arcs for the rest of the season, and so far Reunion has become my favourite episode for this newly born fourth season of the show...

Ronon continues to the best, least developed character on the show, and I mean that in a good way at least as far as Reunion is concerned. Because like Teal'c back on SG-1 (who ironically was also in this episode, but I'll talk about that later), it's Ronon who gets the best episodes devoted completely to him and his character's background. Like last year with Sateda and Runner the year before, the actor is finally given the green light to shine when it comes to his Klingon code of honour, and he does it again here in Reunion. The comaraderie he shows with his old friends felt real and natural, not just forced nostalgia. And he definitely looks pained in his decision to leave his new buddies at Atlantis, even if it was just through a wistful glance in the Wraith corridors as the two teams parted ways. Maybe it was more of strong writing than anything else, but you could sense Ronon being torn between his loyalties, and the actor played the part very well when outlining his reasoning to Sheppard, Carter and Teyla...

Teyla herself was a little out of whack, especially when she was whacking Ronon out of spite during training. Maybe the actress' hormones are so out of control now that they aren't able to hide back her pregnancy, but she really did act like mostly a bitch throughout this entire damn episode. Then again, at the same time, her shrill mood almost suited the atmosphere, as you could really tell at times that either a) the actress was hungry as hell, or b) Teyla really was hurt that Ronon was so ready to abandon her for his old Satedan friends. At the same time, you could actually feel Ronon wish that Teyla could understand and accept his situation and decision, much more so than whenever he talked with the rest of the team about his dilemma. It was obvious from the start that Teyla and Ronon were getting close on Atlantis, possibly even being 'shipped by the writers from all their alone time together, but it's only episodes like Reunion where that relationship starts feeling real. Even if it was just a forced speech by Teyla about her desire to stay with her Athosian people, there is still chemistry between both actors that works so naturally on screen...

Meanwhile, Ronon's real props come from all the battles he waged and fought in this episode. Now, I still don't get how Teyla could get her tiny ass kicked by two Satedans that Ronon easily dealt with later, yet she can hold her own against Ronon herself (unless she only specializes in stick fighting and not hand to hand combat). But no matter what, I gotta give the dual thumbs up to the hardcore bout between Ronon and his friends. It still didn't match the great epicness of the one on one battle between him and Ford in Runner, or just how brutally lop-sided his fights were in Sateda last year, but Reunion still featured great choreography and some sweet ass martial arts kicking by that Iron Chef guy over there. Personally, while I was not surprised at the fact that the Satedans were truly wolves in disguise (was there any real threat of Ronon leaving the show, Elizabeth Weir style?), I was happy that the lead bad guy got to live and die another day, as it really helps to have an arch-nemesis with actual fighting skills for one of the heroes on the show. Now, as long as the writers don't just randomly blow him up in 48 Hours like they did with Tanith (Teal'c's rival enemy) back on SG-1, then all will be fine and dandy...

... heh... 48 Hours, if I recall, was also Rodney McKay's first introduction to the Stargate universe... ah yes, good times...

I am nostalgic over Stargate SG-1, as I really do miss the series (or how it was back in its prime, at least). What I didn't get though, was why the writers chose to just insert a true SG-1 scene into the beginning of Stargate Atlantis here. Colonel Carter was finally promoted to become the new leader of the Atlantis base, so I know it was appropriate that she would get some sort of send-off from her old team. But the thing was, if anyone was appropriate to be there to congratulate her, it would be General O'Neill or Daniel Jackson, both of which have been on SGA before. But Teal'c, why Teal'c? Not only that, but there were so many SG-1'isms there (such as his "indeed" and "undomesticated equines" inside joke) that as much as I may miss the old show, this moment just didn't feel like it belonged in the Atlantis universe. Plus, Carter crying like a baby when her only "real" experience on the series in the past was a five second clip of her saying, "Atlantis", just didn't seem to work out in this new environment of hers, not even for an old SG-1 nostalgic like me...

Amanda Tapping in interviews though, admitted that she really tried to up her acting game when it came to taking over Dr. Weir's role on the show. She knew how hard it would be to win over the fans, and to be honest, I think she did a spectacular job of doing so outside of that whole out-of-place Teal'c scene. Some have complained that she calls Sheppard by his first name, and I did find it weird that she went on an away mission on her first fucking day on the job. But hey, she had some great scenes with McKay when dealing with their 'unrequited lust', she stood up to Ronon's challenge to her authority yet made good amends by Puddle Jumper bonding later on, and she even got to relive the Dr. Weir experience by reenacting some Shakespearean prose on the balcony with Sheppard there. You could tell straight from the moment she entered the SGA base that she was a fish out of water, completely feeling out of place and unsettled with her new level of command. She instantly tried to fall back on old friendships and comaraderie when it came to Sheppard and McKay in this new unfamiliar place, and I really must give Amanda Tapping full credit for conveying that newfound sense of nervousness and awe so damn well. Even after ten years of SG-1 and more, she still finds ways to surprise me. When she ups her acting game like she has, of course...

Some fans have complained though, that most characters in Reunion somewhat felt out of tune and place, although a large part of that is because this episode takes place weeks after Lifeline (which was never stated, unfortunately). Even I admit though, that McKay at the start ignoring Dr. Weir's plight in favour of his own arrogance to command, felt more out of character than humourous in my eyes. Either way though, if McKay was regressed for just one episode of the show to give us great comedy banter between him and Carter, then I am all for more unrequited moments of lust. The awkwardness they shared will get old fast, which is why the writers got it over with quick and easy, even bringing up the fact that McKay is still dating that botany bitch, Katie Brown. And you know things were alright between the both of them, when McKay was all set to defend Carter against Ronon, only for Sam to raise her hand and tell him politely that she can fend for herself. From that moment on, we had a brand new Carter and the good ol' SGA McKay. And while he still sucks at wielding a P90 or dealing with the pressure of Wraith on one side and Replicators on the other, I still gotta give my main man there props...

Damn, he's such a genius at sucking up too. A fruit-basket sampling all the gifts from the worlds of the Pegasus Galaxy was such a thoughtful gift. And the fact that Sheppard was even more of a leech of a genius, stealing Rodney's idea like a true friendly bastard, was absolutely the best damn laugh of the episode. Gotta love the rivalry between the two. While Ronon finally has found his arch-nemesis, at least McKay and Sheppard will always have each other...

It was thoughtful of the writers to keep Dr. Weir in mind, or at least have Sheppard and his pussy-whipped ways to want to mount a rescue. It all rings a lot more true than when the team just left Lt. Ford to fend for himself with barely even a mention, and it all helps to keep the John and Elizabeth 'shippers appeased. Beyond that though, Joe Flanigan really made the most of every single scene he was in this episode. Not only did he have a great (yet cool and manly) non-conversation with Ronon about his departure from the team, and not only was he sheer brilliance whenever he stole ideas from the great Rodney McKay, but he was political yet friendly (yet perhaps passively aggressive?) with Colonel Carter as well, which worked extremely well when all was said and done. And what more can I ask from the guy, when he even got to fire a ton of P90 rounds, whether successfully into the guts of poor Wraith cannon fodder, or uselessly into the invincible chest of everyone's favourite red shirt of a Replicator there?...

Really, while Reunion was a great character piece for Ronon (and arguably for McKay, Sheppard, Teyla and Carter as well), this episode also stands out because it moved along the Wraith vs Replicator story arc of the season extremely well at the same time. While it sounds overly ridiculous to me how the Wraith were able to reprogram the Replicators long ago to just sit on their asses and do nothing (I still believe the Ancients had a hand in that, but whatever...), it was nice to see the Wraith scientists so desperate for McKay's help in the Cylon Base-star or whatever bio-hallway they were in. Even without showing a true battle between the two Pegasus Galaxy behemoths, even without seeing anything more than a fist-fight between the Replicator and lowly Wraith grunts, Reunion was a great tease into the future of the fourth season of the show in terms of the galactic war arc that's brewing. I just hope that I won't be disappointed by it all like I was with the Goa'uld and Replicators back in SG-1, that's all...

And right now, I have no reason to worry. Because while this week's episode wasn't the most original or unpredictable of hours, if Reunion is any real example of the renewed quality of the overall show from here on in? Not only is there an interesting season-long story arc, not only did every single character on the cast get to develop in this one episode alone (hell, even Zelenka got to be all badass and calm when going off-world to show off his new demeanor), but we also got some kickass P90 action and bloody hell martial arts fights for the first time in a very long time...

Stargate Atlantis finally feels back. It finally feels like home again...

... almost a reunion of family, if you will...

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Fierce small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

Oh great. Another Smallville episode of teen angst filler...

... what would we do without this series?... really, honestly...

And why?... well...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"What was the point of this episode? Just to parade Kara Kent around in bikini and panties? WTF?... not that I'm complaining, of course..."

... oh, sweet Kansas corn... I'd tap that ass with something certainly fierce...

But really, what was the point of this episode besides the showcase of supposedly underage teenage women? Haven't we had enough random freak of the week episodes in the past, let alone ones with hot-ass bitches starring in place of vampire Lana Lang? The so-called plot of Fierce, was for Kara Kent to start fitting in with the people of earth despite her attraction and heat vision at first sight. But the thing is, she already speaks perfect teen angst English, and she already wears hot fucking clothes with a perfect fashion sense for her body. So really, what the fuck can she possibly learn from burning a smiley face into a melon? She's already more human than Clark and all the other automatons on the show in terms of personality, so WTF?...

Eh, at least we got more creepy, stalker scenes with Lex Luthor, to try to give some sort of meaning to the show. Of course, it's all just a repeat of the same man crush he had on Clark long ago, but either way, I am starting to feel bad for the guy all over again. How many times must he keep falling for someone that lies through their teeth to him? I suppose that he was kind of a bitch to Lana even before she started betraying him behind his back, but for everyone else in life, he actually was just trying to be nice most of the time. Whether it was Clark or Chloe or Kara now or even his father in the past, everyone just took him for granted and never trusted him with the truth. As evil as they tried to make Lex seem last season, I couldn't help but feel pathos for the guy for just how fucking badly he was treated whenever he was trying to be good. And now here, with Kara Kent getting instructions from Clark to never give Lex a first chance let alone a second, my heart weeps for the poor Luthor yet again...

Michael Rosenbaum didn't steal the show or anything in this episode, but he certainly did help save it at times with at least some plot movement, when it came to his discussions with Colonel Sam Carter at least (or Agent Carter?... whatever). Meanwhile, it's not like the other decent actors on the show made any real notable appearances. John Glover was nowhere in sight, Martha Kent was barely mentioned at all and probably hasn't even been told of Kara over in Washington, and WTF are the writers doing with Chloe as of late? Yes, we get that she's ashamed of being a meteor freak, and probably was hesitant to expose the MWAHAHA weather girls as a result. But really, with the few lines of script she's getting this season and how lame-ass her whole character arc has become, the writers really seem to be treating her in terms of Pete 2.0 and as old fucking news now that Kara is on the show. I feel bad for the actress, I really do. She deserves a hell of a lot more than just token scenes with Clark and Jimmy...

And oh, Jimmy the fucking Bimmy, I guess welcome the fuck back. Do I really have to dedicate an entire fucking paragraph to him now that he's been made a regular for some god-awful reason? Then again, I barely talk about Lois Lane even though she's in the opening credits, although that's mostly because she's still never on the fucking show. So hopefully the same will apply to Jimmy from now on, because my fucking God, what a bad actor that Ashmore really is. And what the hell was with his weakness to fucking ice cold here or some shit like that? Didn't he inherit any sort of abilities from his goddam X-men brother, or is Jimmy gonna go completely opposite and turn into some apeshit emo fire-starter one of these days? Drew Barrymore would probably be proud if he ever did, whatever the hell that means...

The crux of this episode dealt with the ever ensuing angst between Clark and Lana. Lex mentioned a good point, that after all Lana has been through over the past year, she's probably not the sweet girl that Clark once knew. Of course, to that claim we viewers just laugh, as if Lana was ever anything else but a fucking bitch of a cheerleader in the first place, but I digress. Either way, the writers supposedly had a situation where Clark and Lana can finally be together and grow old happy with one another. But uh oh, cue the Clark Kent 'oh shit' looks and reborn angst. He suddenly realizes that he probably won't age now that he has developed his powers, and that imagining a happily married life with Lana Lang is just not in his house of cards. Oh wow, now we've got him fucking angsting over some recently divorced bitch that abandoned him for blonde wigs halfway across the world. Just fucking great...

And wait a second. This age-old, old aging thing, doesn't it sound like that horrible episode of Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, where Dean Cain is angsting over out-living his Terri Hatcher of a desperate housewife and new children spawn, and then loses 99% of his life force to some psycho stasis pod? And sadly, that pathetic plotline and long lost forgotten show STILL had more relevance to the actual Superman mythos than Smallville ever will...

... cue eye-rolling, Dean Cain promo for next week, naturally...

Why the hell was this episode even named, Fierce? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Do we even have a central story arc for the seventh fucking season of the show yet? WTF?...

I sadly would've preferred watching Jimmy here go all DragonBallZ against Pyro in X3, than deal with any of the goddam Clark and Lana Lang emo crap we're getting yet again...

But at least, we got gratuitously nude shots of the underage Kara Kent as some sort of distraction filler...

... oh, sweet Kansas corn, please come to me...

Sunday, October 7th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Lifeline Review (Spoilers...) -

Lifeline... what a fitting name...

... not just for Dr. Weir, but for the Stargate Atlantis series as a whole...

This along with Adrift were the episodes to set up the mood, atmosphere and story arcs for the entire fourth season, for what could be the very last year of the show and the whole bloody franchise. I was not very impressed with Adrift, but Lifeline at least brought a little bit of life back into the series, the kind of which may give the show an extra chance at having a real fifth season. Arguably, there were a ton of flaws with this episode, namely that the Replicators were complete morons in everything they did (eg: no sensors to detect human life signs in their city, they were too stupid to shoot at the Puddle Jumper from outside the AR field, etc...), but thankfully the overall story and character developments were enough to temporarily suspend my goddam constant nit-picking. And hell, even Elizabeth got to be a bit of a badass, tricking Obereth and us viewers like she did with that whole mind-fuck switcharoo of hers...

Goodbye, Dr. Weir. This was the send-off episode for Torri Higginson, and while I still find it a capital crime that she was booted off her own fucking series like she was, at least she got a better farewell than Lt. Ford ever did. It was weird how distant and how much of a guest star she felt like in Adrift, but she was more or less back to her 'regular' self here in Lifeline, and it was all for the better. She was a selfless woman in her departure, sacrificing herself (not only through death, but perhaps in assimilation) to save her team, and she never hesitated once in doing so. I could nitpick and complain that essentially Stargate Atlantis has become Star Trek Voyager redux, that the Replicators have become as dumbass as the latter Borg, and that Dr. Weir might as well now be called Seven of Nine. But still, plot point stupidity and redundancy aside, I did like how committed she was to her team. She even got a few of those wistful looks between her and Sheppard, the kind of which may roll my eyes but just felt sorely lacking in Adrift for some goddam reason...

I sincerely hope that this is not the last we've seen of Dr. Weir, not just for the actress' sake but also for Sheppard's overall character development. It's always been implied that he had something for her, and while nothing could ever develop while they were both regulars, it's possible she could return as a guest star and sparks (literally) can fly. Whether she comes back as a the queen bitch of the Replicator hive or not, it should be interesting how John Sheppard reacts. Either way, it's finally time for both of these characters to have some real contact and conflict between their emotions and personalities. I don't want the series to become the OC or some soap opera bullshit like that, but since the writers were so afraid of ever developing something between the both of them before (or else it might become as bad as the O'Neill and Carter thing was in SG-1 season four), they have no excuse to keep things boring now. That is, provided that they don't completely write-off and ignore the Dr. Weir character from existing in the fucking first place like they did with Ford...

Joe Flanigan also got to provide a much better and somewhat canon performance in Lifeline than he did in Adrift. While in Adrift, he felt cold and callous and calculating in just how much he was willing to let Elizabeth die (and tore at Rodney in return), you could at least tell in Lifeline that he was torn between his feelings for her and his duty as a soldier. He cared for her, you could tell in Lifeline even by the teen angsty, lengthy stares between the both of them. I just found it sadly refreshing that the writers took this long to finally recognize that the two actors do have chemistry between the both of them. And having Sheppard go into some story arc of trying to find her to rescue the damsel in distress, may not actually be a bad thing for the series in the long run. Provided that is, that the producers don't completely forget Elizabeth ever existed in the fucking first place. If they hook up Sheppard with Carter instead, I think I'm going throw up in my mouth, thank you very much...

It's interesting what the writers have done with Carter so far in Atlantis. It's obvious she's replacing Weir in command, as evident from the goddam opening credits, but so far they've kept the Colonel so low key in everything she's done that you could swear she was just a useless guest star. What did she really do in this episode, but sit in the red shirt chair on the Apollo and fire a few missiles, and mock Bill Nye for his obsession with World of Warcraft? If anything though, her speech with Sheppard at the end, talking about the new planet that Atlantis had just landed on, was a real pre-cursor to their struggle for power against each other throughout the rest of the season. I've never thought the two had chemistry on screen together and I still don't, but meh, at least even ten seconds of communication between her and Rodney McKay was enough to wet my appetite for some more. I definitely love Amanda Tapping as an actress, I enjoy Samantha Carter as a character, and I'm hoping that her arrival on the series turns out better than I'm expecting at this point in time...

If anything, she and David Hewlett have amazing chemistry together. They had it in SG-1's Redemption and Pegasus Project, and she was even funny to watch as a hallucination in Grace Under Pressure. I don't doubt for a second that we'll get a lot of great moments between the two of them from now on, although I do fear that the writers will completely subdue her personality in fear of Atlantis fanatics panicking over an SG-1 invasion. She and McKay both know science all too well, so it will be interesting to see how the show-runners will handle their mutual egos and intellect. But for now, in Lifeline, it was still all McKay's brilliance and genius shining through, whether it was getting a Puddle Jumper to make a hyperspace jump, or getting all flustered when Ronon actually understood what he meant about not being able to jump back...

Ronan didn't have to say much this episode, thank God. He didn't achieve much either, just tagging along with a useless AR gun after the Replicators adapted to the Star Trek phasers on the show. But at least he didn't feel out of place or completely useless, which is more than I can say for Teyla who I simply cannot stand in charge of Atlantis. I mean, I understand the actress is pregnant and all and can't do nearly as many stunts as she did before, but honestly, why the fuck do they leave her in charge of the fucking last base of the Ancients? WTF?...

I can understand why Ronan at least has a basic understanding of technology that makes "string theory look like non-linear dynamics" (which is still hard as far as I'm concerned, as proven by my goddam failures of university marks...), considering he comes from a 50-60's era society. But Teyla, she should know nothing more than the fact that glowy buttons do something to make a big kawoosh. Why the fuck have the writers made her a genius at understanding all the charts and computer screens of fucking Atlantis? It just perverts the point of her whole character, allowing the writers to force her into becoming 'smart' enough to be the leader of the most advanced city-ship ever made. WTF?...

Aside from the whole Elizabeth and John Sheppard shit, Lifeline wasn't the greatest when it came to character development. Still, I can't help but feel a bit of new hope for the series though, when it comes to the inevitable war arc they've been building up to, starting from First Strike. Here in this episode, the team manages to reprogram the Replicators to attack the Wraith for the first time in ten thousand years. Of course, we viewers know there was probably a damn good reason why that attack order was shut off, and I'm guessing it's because from a purely logical point of view, the best way to defeat the Wraith is to destroy all their sources of food. So I'm imagining, once the Replicators start attacking all the humans in the Pegasus Galaxy, the Wraith and Atlantis will have to tag team up to take on the big baddies of the season. While of course that kind of concept ain't anything new for Sci-Fi (the Dominion War arc in DS9 will probably still be considered better) or even for Stargate (didn't the Goa'uld team up with the SGC against the old Replicators for an episode or two?), it's still something relatively exciting to breath new life into the goddam series for once...

I enjoyed Lifeline. Sure, it was full of cliche plot-holes, but hey, it had Carter on the Apollo, mouthing off to McKay as she was nuking the fuck out of a Replicator mothership. So how the fuck can I really complain?...

It wasn't the greatest of episodes, but it definitely was interesting and emotional enough with Dr. Weir's departure to keep me tuned in for next week's show. But then again, I've always been a hardcore Stargate fan, ten years and running now, looking back through the hourglass. I'm just hoping that enough people tune in again next Friday, for there to be ten years more through the goddam gate...

Lifeline... what a fitting name...

... as the series here makes its final stand...

So God Speed and Good Will Hunting...

... and good luck, Elizabeth...

Saturday, October 6th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Smallville: Kara small Smallville Week in Review (Spoilers...) -

So, this is the future of Smallville? The WB (sorry, the CW...) is so damn desperate to keep their only remaining successful show running, that they're now clogging the screen with the hot fucking, tapping ass of Supergirl for ratings?...

... well, I have no problem with that...

... my God, she was smoking fucking hot in red at the end...

But you know what I do have a problem with, unfortunately?...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

"Lex had Lana cloned? WTF?... Why the fuck would he make a physically perfect but goddam mute version of... oh wait, that's why he did it. Nice..."

Seriously, I know that Smallville has done a lot of stupid fucking plotlines in its day and age, but cloning Lana fucking Lang for some stupid ass murder mystery over the summer? WTF? I had heard rumours that a female could be seen amongst the racks of 33.1 in the season finale, but really, for one of the dumbest and lamest ideas from the worst fanfics to actually turn out true? WTF is wrong with the writers? Dear fucking God, it was sad enough to know that Lana fucking Lang was still alive, but did we really have to get Kristen Kreuk trying to act all sinister yet broken up at the end with her tear-jerking performance (and tear-jerking as in so fucking terrible it made me cry)? WTF?...

As a result of all his goddam obsessing over the wife I wish was dead, even Michael Rosenbaum had a sub-par episode. Naturally, he was released from prison (with the help of everyone's favourite King Melbourne, might I add), had a boring and sketchy scene with Chloe, and then spent the rest of his time obsessing over a superhero who once again saved his fucking ass in a season premiere. Last time, it was Clark with his fucking Porsche, and we got stuck with Lex having a man-crush on his saviour for God knows how long. At least, from most men's perspectives, obsessing over Supergirl makes some sort of fucking goddam sense...

Because hot damn, was Kara ever fucking hot in that red little tank top of hers in the end. The episode was named after her for a reason, although I really wish we could've done without those a) cheesy as hell shots of her flying about, and b) her goddam teen angsty comment about how women develop faster than guys. There were some moments of comedy in there that were somewhat amusing, like when she busted open the doors to Daily Planet elevator, I guess. But for the most part, her real intro performance was ruined by just piss poor "oh shit" acting by Tom fucking Welling, who obviously looked disappointed as hell when he learned that Kara was apparently his cousin. Guess maybe the actor didn't read the script before then, and finally realized that he (probably) will never get a make-out session with the hot ass bitch actress in the red tank top? WTF?...

What did Clark even do in this episode, except somehow completely 'pwn' Supergirl by grabbing her legs (I would've grabbed something else from her derriere...) and then slammed her to the ground? Besides that, he went all emo-angsty over Lana Lang's death, then completely ignored Lois Lane and Chloe Sullivan yet again as if there was never any fucking hot pussy in Smallville before Supergirl arrived. After he finally got over pining for his goddam hot ass cousin, he just followed her around like a whipped puppy dog and talked about how planets routinely explode (wow, great Asgard knowledge he has there...). The Kryptonian dialogue between him and Kara was just so awkward and poorly written and goddam bastardized rehearsed, that I could've sworn I was watching Superman 4 or Superman Returns again or some shit like that. Because besides a beam of light supposedly acting as a "nuclear explosion", and Clark's patented "oh shit, I think my cousin is hot" looks, did we get any real action in this episode at all? WTF?...

Well, Lois Lane got knocked out with two or more concussions yet again, so at least we got something there. The thing is though, her character arc this episode was just so blatantly forced with the whole Daily Planet job routine, even moreso than it was when she first joined the Inquisitor last season, that I couldn't help but smack myself unconscious myself. The writers introduced some god-awful hot shot editor guy, who I couldn't stand not just from his 40's style cliche personality, but because of how god-awful the actor playing the part really was. It's not like the dialogue written between him and Lois Lane was any better too, as it just doesn't add up that he would offer some nobody like her a job for writing some weird ass story about a fucking alien space-ship (without any proof, might I add). It all screamed of just a carpet-blanket, glossed over plot-point to finally get Lois Lane involved in actual writing at the goddam Daily Planet, as if the writers just woke up and realized that this could be the final season of Smallville, and yet all their characters were NOWHERE close to what they should be like in the Superman comic book mythos. WTF?...

And of course, because of that fact alone, Chloe was glossed over for the umpteenth time in the goddam series. She's the one shining star they have besides Michael Rosenbaum (and John Glover... wait, where is he again? WTF?...), yet simply because she's not part of the official Superman story, the only thing she was relegated to here was HDTV bio-scans of other fucking freaks of the week. Her sole contribution to the main plotline was to get dissed by Kara as a "human", and then mention some stupid ass comment about AM radio being disrupted by alien nuclear radiation. Chloe otherwise was just completely invisible this whole episode through, and if you ask me, that would've been such a better power for her to have than just fucking emo-tears of bittersweet cousin sex...

... hmm... wonder if she should use the same shit on Kara and Clark, as she did that one special night she had with Lois Lane?...

Bah, does it really matter at this point? Every fucking character arc on Smallville has been broken down and beaten to death like a government mule with a horse throat, and nothing (yes, not even hot lesbian cousin sex... I'm being serious) can save this series any longer...

Now sure, Kara was smoking, fucking hot in that fucking red tank top of hers in the end. And thanks to my colour-blindness, it was like she was wearing nothing at all. If only she had an invisible jet along with her cloaking clothes, then maybe I would give a spin-off series with her a goddam chance. But instead, I'm still stuck on just shaking my head at how fucking ridiculous the whole Smallville series has goddam become...

I'm on Lex with this one. Forget the rest of the actors on the show, I'll just start obsessing over her...

He'll be in his panic room.

I'll be in my bunk.

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

Y2kk Update:           - Stargate Atlantis: Adrift Season Premiere Review (Spoilers...) -

Why, oh why, did Sci-Fi wait 'till Fall to start airing the fourth season of Stargate? What on earth or the Pegasus Galaxy could have possessed them to make such a dumbass move like that? And I'm not just saying this as a fan concerned about the ratings for this science fiction series now going against the remnants of TGIF...

But rather, I was just so lost without Stargate in the summer... so fucking lost in space...

... adrift even... drifting through the days...

I've missed Stargate. I still do, considering SG-1 for the first time in about ten years, is no longer part of my life. Now all that remains is Stargate Atlantis, and unfortunately I was not very impressed by the final stretch of episodes last season (both Vengeance and First Strike come to mind). While season three was overall alright for the most part, I thought the writers did a piss poor job of setting up a decent universe for the fourth season, which might just end up being the very last season of Stargate television if ratings don't go through the roof. And unfortunately for all us SGA fans, I really didn't think that Adrift did much to change my bleak outlook on the future of the series, alas...

It was a pure set-up episode for the rest of the season, I know. It was also the mid-episode of a trilogy (between First Strike and Lifeline), I'm aware of that too. It's just that, besides maybe the moment where the Puddle Jumpers all set off to take on an asteroid belt, Adrift was nothing more than an episode that felt lost. Or like Lost even, with nothing but a bunch of empty running threads leading nowhere when it comes to plot points and dialogue. The major moments consisted of the Atlantis shield failing (accompanied by the sudden appearance and departure of a real, genuine red shirt team), and of Dr. Zelenka getting hit by a bullet-asteroid, the likes of which apparently the non-space worthy Atlantis wasn't even able to hold against. Both of these situations led to nothing but patented Smallville, "oh shit" looks from the entire cast and crew. Notably Teyla and Ronan, who had nothing better to do but bat and roll their eyes and state the obvious...

What did Teyla and Ronan have to do this entire episode? They were useless enough in First Strike from last season, enough so that they were compared to that god-awful Fantastic Four movie of all things. But really, did we have to get yet another episode of them just sitting on their asses, doing absolutely nothing? At least Teyla has an excuse, with the actress becoming pregnant and no longer looking so spiffy in those mid-riff tank tops of hers. But Ronan, did we really have to get emo-sentimentality out of the guy? I respect the actor for his fighting skills, as Sateda last season was pretty fucking badass. In Adrift though, his performance was just goddam eye-rolling, trying to sound like he gives a damn about Torri Higginson's final performance as a regular on the series. In a fucking coma no less, her best episode yet...

Well, now that it has become more than obvious (from the starting credits alone) that Dr. Weir has been replaced in the series by none other than Amanda Tapping, I might as well be nice to the actress for once. While I've never been a fan of Torri Higginson so much, or her personality of Elizabeth, it was more of the writers' fault that they were too fucking scared to put real conflict in her character, the same sort of way that Star Trek Voyager failed in everything there was between Janeway and Chakotay. The writers never took risks with Weir, and a result, she became the General Hammond of the base without the cute, teddy bear sort of feeling (more like a bitch in charge, no less). Still, there are far worse actors on the show than she is (Teyla and Ronan, I'm looking at you...), and for Dr. Weir to get the Lt. Ford send-off here? Dear fucking God, what were the writers thinking?...

I don't blame the producers for bringing in Amanda Tapping. She's a great actress who was signed for an eleventh season of Stargate SG-1. She was the character who had the most chemistry with everyone on the old series, whether it be Jack or Daniel or even Teal'c at times, and I hear she was absolutely hilarious to have on the cast behind the scenes. The thing is though, did she really have to come in and replace Dr. Weir? It was the writers' own fault for treating Elizabeth as some bitch, bastard step-child, and now they're putting the onus on Amanda Tapping to fill in the shoes when it comes to all those hardcore SGA fans out there? I love Colonel Carter for the most part, but isn't ten years of her already enough? I love her chemistry with McKay, and even here she provided a lot of comic relief with Bill of all astute idiots. She's a great actress who I would welcome as a guest star anytime, but for her to be in charge of Atlantis? I'll give her a chance for sure, but still, why are the writers trying to turn the series into Stargate SG-2? WTF?...

Well, McKay did start off as a SG-1 character himself, but he really only started to shine with his debut on Atlantis. And here again, he was the star stealing every scene, bringing out the only real laugh with his comment about Asteroids (which I can relate to... I think I got a score of zero in Missile Command, to be honest...). He always has the greatest of banter with Sheppard, and he provided the only real credible threat of this episode when he butted heads with the guy over who was officially in charge. However, there was just something uncharacteristic about the both of them when it came to the handling of Dr. Weir's critical condition...

Maybe McKay just has a thing for Dr. Keller and her sweet man-voice (and who wouldn't... if she was still cute as fuck like Kaylee was...), but I found it weird that he would be so confident in reactivating Niam's nanites when it was 'only' Elizabeth's life on the line. Normally, McKay is the one who sees things more objectively (and through his ego when it comes to science, which may apply here), while Sheppard relies on instinct and gut feelings and shit. It just struck me as artificially weird, the conflict between the both of them, that Sheppard seemed so callous when it came to Dr. Weir's life hanging in the balance. Except for some random stares between the both of them, it was like John didn't even care about Elizabeth at all, as if he dumped her ass the moment she became a recurring guest star. WTF?...

I really don't know. But meh, at least we got some decent scenes of Sheppard and McKay blasting asteroids to pieces, and Teyla looking all concerned as she shook her booty to the director sound of "boom". Zelenka got a few moments of heroism in, including that patented "oh shit, to be continued" look when McKay was smirking over a ZPM heist. Meanwhile, Keller was hot as fucking hell with all her non-sensical ravings and rantings about medical crap (which she apparently called River Tam up for pointers, might I add). And of course, I've gotta give extra props to Dr. Weir, for having her hair sliced off and her skull ripped apart, only to be back and looking fine and beautiful in no time, without a hint of bed-hair. The ghost of Carson Beckett would be proud, wherever the fuck that Scotty-would-be actor has beamed himself to lately...

Adrift was not a bad episode, but it did feel like an episode that was half an hour too long in the end. It was filled with a bunch of character moments that felt elongated and forced, and a bunch of contrived scenarios that reminded me of the times I tried to write a 200 page novel with only 20 pages worth of content. I understand that this was the second of a three part trilogy of stories, but it was also the season premiere of the show. And I'm sorry, considering this may very well be the last season of Stargate Atlantis (and maybe all of Stargate, period) that we may ever get, I was hoping the series would truly come out fighting and blasting, right out of the gate...

... sigh... I was just so lost without Stargate in the summer... so fucking lost in space...

I didn't like the feeling... I don't want a life without Stargate, to be honest...

... all alone...

... adrift...

[c. visitors too bored to return...]
... best viewed in Internet Explorer 4 at 800 x 600 resolution, because that's what I still run at ...