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IvanF's Cut and Paste, No-Name Theatrical
Review of
Bewitched 2005
- IvanFian written June 27th, 2005 -
"Bewitched.
Son of a bitch...
... it sucked...
... both the series, and the film...
Now, I admit that I didn't see much of the original series. In my youth, I had a much greater affinity for such classic shows as I Dream of Jeannie, and Mork and Mindy...
... but Bewitched, even back then, just plain sucked...
So why did I expect anything more from the movie?...
I guess it was because of Nora Ephron...
Not that she's hot or anything, but...
... ah, good ol' Nora... Still making bad movie after bad movie, I see?...
The thing is, even as a guy, I just somehow have a thing for romantic comedies... and When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You've Got Mail are all up there as some of the rare movies that I can watch time and time again, and somehow never really get bored... even if the former two really did suck ass, in my noname professional opinion at least...
Those three are basically all of the decent films that Nora Ephron has ever done. Everything else she ever conjured from her mind, has fallen flat on its face from space, like a faded broomstick completely devoid of magic... and, well...
I expected perhaps a bit of magic from Bewitched... Nora was due for another success story in her roller-coaster of a career, afterall...
... or her "sinuisodal curve" one, as the National Post preferred to call it...
With valleys and peaks and troughs, and no plateaus... sort of like how a romantic comedy is supposed to swing...
But Bewitched just felt bland, flat, and goddam cursed with a bunch of bad montage moments of old school Nora Ephron, really... We had overused romantic cliches, like Will Farrell and Nicole Kidman watching the same show at the same time at different places (done in Sleepless in Seattle, I'd imagine?). And hell, Nora even got Heather Burns back on board as Nina, as the actress really hasn't had anything to do after her small role in You've Got Mail... And where the fuck was my orgasm scene? If they weren't gonna fake it like they did in When Harry Met Sally, then at least show me a real one on the goddam screen...
The thing is, Nora Ephron's movies in the past defined the genre of the "romantic comedy". Hell, I think she even started the genre, really...
But Bewitched is neither romantic, nor a comedy. It's just sort of... a bad nostalgic trip back to the Bewitched show of the past, really...
... and most of the reason why this film sucked, just had to be from the casting...
Will Farrell was just plain wrong to play Jack Wyatt. I still snickered at a few of his jokes, but nothing he did could've saved this film from what it became... The thing is, ironically, he was the Jack Wyatt of the film. I mean, he was the one who stole every single scene, and not in the way the movie should've went... Farrell was his usual self, over the top with the gags and the funny walks and all. But his mannerisms just don't suit the mood of a romantic comedy, you know? He couldn't play the serious card, and he just didn't seem like he really cared about Isabel whatsoever. It just looked like Will Farrell wanted to be in this film, so he could act like a jackass and hopefully get a few laughs out of it all...
Will Farrell, for the second movie in a row, played a hardass asshole. He was tough on everyone, yelling and screaming that he wanted an unknown actress, simply so he wouldn't be overshadowed... The thing is though, Farrell just can't play a hardass. He was much better in this film when he was playing a softie. Probably the only scenes that I did enjoy, were the ones when he was under a hex and absolutely high on life and magic weed. And probably the only reason I did enjoy those scenes, was because it looked like Will Farrell was enjoying himself as well...
He just didn't seem into this movie at all for the most part. His main love in life is improv, and improv just doesn't suit a romantic comedy very well. All his usual blathering jokes, including his improv ones while spellbound at the television dinner table, just took me out of the sense that I was watching a romantic comedy. And not for the better...
I give him just a 32% approval rating for his acting in this film...
But as for Nicole Kidman?... I give her a 99%... and not just for those damn fine legs of hers...
She was strangely and ironically enough, perfect for the Bewitched role. I mean, I guess The Stepford Wives helped her learn how to act like a complete blonde bimbo or something, since she was absolutely perfect with the fluttery walk and the sweet, naive voice... She looked pretty nice too, always wearing cute little skirts. And her nose was strangely enough perfect for the role, as the dainty little thing did twitch like a twilight princess... And hell, for all we know, maybe Nicole Kidman is a witch in real life? How the hell else can you explain Tom Cruise's weird ass behaviour lately, if a hex wasn't cast on him by his ex?...
Now that would be something magical, now wouldn't it be? Nicole Kidman, a witch who pretends to be normal, acts in a movie as a witch who also pretends to be normal, but who also plays a witch on television that also wants to be normal...
And somehow? Even still... even Nicole Kidman couldn't make this film funny...
She just had no chemistry with Will Farrell whatsoever... Sure, I liked all her little cute outbursts. Stampeding out of the television set after telling Jack off was decent. And I think I did sadistically laugh when she crushed Wyatt's ex-wife with a light fixture from up above... But all those scenes were cute, because Nicole Kidman was cute by herself with her twitching nose there. Will Farrell didn't contribute to those moments really at all... She never once seemed to really care for Will Farrell when they kissed. And her crossed-eyed, lakeside, acting lesson from Die Hard Mustafa, just felt embarrassing somehow for both actors... It was like the two actors played their roles in the film, as two television co-workers (or "co-people") who were married on the small screen, but didn't give a real damn about each other off the set... ironic, really...
Nicole and Farrell each stole the show by themselves, but a romantic comedy sort of requires a dance and a duet, you know...
I did admire how Nicole Kidman played the role of the bimbo so well though. If there's really one thing to compliment, it was just how clueless she was with our society... The reaction on her face when she learned of what a dick was? Or her utterly stumped nature when it came to the entertainment center?... I dunno, but even her audition was pretty touching. That "improv" moment didn't feel nearly as forced most of the scenes did up to that point. And I suppose the dramatic irony there kinda worked, when you consider how clueless the producers were laughing it up in the background...
But neither she or Will Farrell could play the role of the depressed drunkard sucking up Cool Whip to any form of delightful decency... The cameo of Brick from Conan the Barbarian was just uncalled for. He was barely funny in Anchorman, and he was just a pompous ass in this film...
And if there was no real trough for the characters, and no real fit of depression? If I wasn't convinced by Nicole Kidman, surfing the channels through each and every one of Jack Wyatt's bad Nora Ephron films from the past? Then how the hell could I care about the conclusion to this one?... I just didn't care that the two got together in the end. They had absolutely no chemistry, and they just didn't seem to give a damn about each other in the film at all. Will Farrell still felt like the Anchorman of the movie, refusing the share the spotlight with his Anchor-lady...
The rest of the casting was off as well... Shirley MacLaine was decent as the witch hidden behind the sets, but she had no chemistry with Michael Caine. Michael Caine on the other hand, had some decent grocery shopping moments, thanks to the magic of CG graphics. But his performance was so subdued in Bewitched, that I couldn't help but feel disappointed after his startling comic relief back in Batman Begins...
So really, what did this film do right?... if anything?...
Sadly enough, the actual irony of the film was great... as if Nora Ephron put a little too much truth into her Bewitched remake and all...
I mean, Will Farrell complaining about his dead career and a horrible last movie?...
Kinda feels weird... to be making fun of terrible movies, when you're goddam making one...
As far as I'm concerned, Bewitched was nothing more than Will Farrell, trying to steal the spotlight from Nicole Kidman by playing Jack Wyatt, an actor trying to steal the spotlight from Isabel Bigelow... and Nicole Kidman, trying to steal the spotlight back from Will Farrell by playing Isabel Bigelow, a witch trying to steal the spotlight back from Jack Wyatt...
Bewitched, beguiled, and bewildered...
... oh, the unintentional, dramatic irony of it all... and, well...
At least, I did enjoy Nicole Kidman for her picture perfect performance as the new Samantha. And Will Farrell was funny in spurts, whenever he got to break free of the "romantic" aspect of the genre, and beat the bitch of a witch to death with an ugly stick of a branch... but I digress...
... afterall, I do admit that this film was amusing... it just wasn't romantic or funny or anything like that, that's all...
... it was no instant cappucino classic...
Because for the most part?... I think Jack Wyatt had it right...
... so Nora? Next time, make twenty versions of Bewitched...
And please, this time?...
... do bring us the best one..."
Film Design - 6.0
Enjoyment Factor - 5.0
Overall (not an average)
- 5.5
(0 out of 4 stars)
___________________________________
- Commentary from a friend -
"Well, yes I saw "Bewitched" this past Saturday at 7:35pm...and to be honest...this film was a decent little comedy, even if it was not the brightest of the bulbs in the rhelm of the romantic comedy. The one reason for the lack of romantic comedy was the lack of a romantic chemistry between Nicole Kidman & Will Ferrell. However, when the film detracts from its romantic comedy roots, the film is quite funny and a decent show overall. It's just that the film doesn't add much to be truly fulfilled.
Now, this film stars Will Ferrell as Jack Wyatt who is essentially a burnt out movie actor, whose last film was so bad that the results was almost literally a thud. Wyatt's agent has come up with the idea that Jack should consider a remake/re-tool of the sitcom Bewitched. Now, the elements where Jack is seeking a new Samantha as his wife to his Darren are quite well done...but it is not classic Ferrell by any means. Essentially, Wyatt wants to make clear that this show will be his and that he will get all the attention. However, that gets blown out of proportion when he meets Isabel Bigalow (Nicole Kidman). It seems Isabel has the perfect nose twitch to be the new Samantha.
Nicole Kidman as Isabel and Samantha is actually decent. She does add a very cute look to the film. As well, Kidman really looks like she is having fun. I mean Ferrell obviously must be having fun too. But, Kidman just provides the right amount of saneness & zaniness necessary in this film. The way that we are introduced as Isabel as a witch, and how she wishes to become normal to find "love" seems simple enough. Ah, but there lies the crux of the film, as love can never be simple...at least in a romantic comedy. The actions that Isabel takes to get back at Jack's cockiness is simply brilliant and brings about some of the best comedy in the film.
And then there was the addition to this film of Michael Caine as Nigel Bigalow. Caine plays Isabel's father. He is a warlock that sees no reason why Isabel should take a hiatus from her witching ways. He takes great pleasure at interrupting her daughter's grocery shopping in quite amusing product placements. My favorite was the Jolly Green Giant...but that's just me. As well, it seems as the movie progresses that Nigel begins to fall for Iris Smythson, or Endora on the new Bewitched show as played in the film by Shirley MacLaine. Now, the way that MacLaine kinda plays hard to get with Nigel is kinda cute...if merely inoffensive...but cute nonetheless...
As well, this film had a couple of Daily Show co-stars in Steve Carell as Uncle Arthur and Stephen Colbert as Stu Robison the new show's head writer. Now, while some may find Uncle Arthur to be annoying and pointless...I actually enjoyed his pompous self...especially in the way that he made the mirror crack in front of Jack.
Overall, I must say that this film, which was directed by Nora Ephron who has previously made such films as Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, and Michael, just lacks the perfect flow that those films had. This film just lacked a complete arc that one could truly care about. However, that is not to say, that the film was still entertaining.
Therefore, I shall give this film a 2/4 stars and a 7.5/10."
Film Design - 7.0
Enjoyment Factor - 7.5
Overall (not an average) - 7.0
(2 out of 4 stars)
- Risen Phoenix -