IvanF's Cut and Paste, No-Name Theatrical Review of Sin City 2005...

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IvanF's Cut and Paste, No-Name Theatrical Review of
Frank Miller's Sin City 2005

"Okay, I'll admit it... up to this day, I hadn't seen a single movie in theatres with any of my friends from university...

Because yeah, while I was all set to watch Frank Miller's Sin City at my tiny little, unknown $4 theatre in the boonies, my friends all opted to see the film as well as soon as I mentioned it this afternoon... So I decided to play along, fork over some extra cash, and we all saw the film together at Paramount Theatres in downtown Toronto...

And was it worth it? Those extra six dollars I spent, at least?... that's what a review is really all about, now ain't it?...

Yeah, I got suckered into seeing Sin City thanks to three empty promises: style, gore, and absolute hardcore nudity...

There was no real style to the film. It basically just stuck to its film noir presence the entire way through, and hardly ever highlighted objects and people with colour, the way all the advertisements for the film said it did... Make no mistake: I did get a real kick of seeing Jessica Alba stand out hard (definitely hard...) from the crowd, or seeing how kickass Clive Owen's ride looked all decked out in red. But really, besides these few moments of actual style with substance (and maybe Becky's lovely blue eyes...), the film was just downright painfully plain... or plain black and white, in this case at least...

But even the music felt monotonous... Sure, it normally flowed well with the film and its scenes, I suppose... but it never stood out, the way a great soundtrack tends to stick in your mind after a film, even after not noticing it once during the entire two hours... Hell, I can't even remember any distinct music from Sin City at all. It was all just damn film noir generic filler in the end...

Let me get this definitely straight: black and white, it matters not... Sin City may have been absolutely the damn goriest film I have ever seen in my entire damn life...

Hell, it even makes Kill Bill Vol 1 look as pansy-like as... well?... Kill Bill Vol 2, actually...

Every single damn scene in Sin City, had pretty much at least one head getting chopped off, or one hand being sliced off, or one of my favourites - a man with a gun cock in his head, getting sliced into a human "pez dispenser"...

It's just that, there was just so much damn pointless gore in the film, that I did definitely become desensitized to it. By the time the halfway point of the film arrived, I couldn't even muster up an eyebrow for whenever a guy got his ass blown up by a grenade or not... There's only so much violence that you can take before getting bored. After pedophiles and cannibals in just the first third of the film alone, somehow generic muscle bound villains in the second half just can't stir up any tension in me... but I'll get more into that a bit later on...

Dammit, I wanted so much more! Where's Jessica Alba in living colour when you need her?...

Sure, we got gratuitous, and very fortuitous nudity showings of both Jaime King and Carlo Gugino. There was just so much nudity from those two at the start, that it almost bordered on sheer ridiculousness, at just how downright gratuitous their nudity turned out to be... not that I'm complaining, mind you...

The thing about Sin City... is that just like all those old town hooker girls prancing about, the movie feels like such a goddam tease...

Mickey Rourke absolutely nailed his performance as Marv, and then some... Well, nailing Goldie for one thing was definitely a great way to start off the show. And the action scene with the cops after, was definitely giving me the kind of superhero goosebumps that only films like X-men and Spiderman have given me before... I loved the sheer ridiculousness of all his action scenes. I mean, the guy gets run over by a car a half dozen times, and all he cares about is a) popping some psycho pills, and b) how crappy modern cars look these days? WTF?... you gotta love the guy for his style... he has a thing for coats, afterall...

And unlike the rest of the film, the first of the three stories actually had substance. Or so it seemed... I absolutely loved Elijah Wood's character. His comic book glasses was absolutely the best use of "style" in the entire film (although Marv's bandages were decently done as well). I've never quite been sickened by a character in a movie before, but the thought of Elijah Wood eating Lucille's hand right in front of her, has got to be one of the sickest (and most wicked) images I have ever experienced in a film before... Elijah Wood nailed all his scenes. Seeing him just passively smiling there, as his human-eating dog gobbled up his entrails, was just somehow so damn sickening, that it actually felt good... He was a true villain, as far as I'm concerned. And as the short, evil, quite gay, jumping bad guy of the film, his past resume as a hobbit only helped to make his scenes that much more memorable... if only because of all the laughs...

Him and Mickey Rouke absolutely made the first third of the film into the most promising (and most teasing) forty-some minutes of film I've seen all year so far... I loved almost every single one of Marv's scenes. Torturing men by plowing their heads on asphalt (while driving), going to confession to off the priest, and seeing Jessica Alba in a damn fine white T-shirt, all made for a damn engrossing first chapter... Sure, there were pointless spots, like Lucille's death and maybe the anti-climatic encounter with the Cardinal... But how the hell could I possibly not love a chapter, where Marv at the end calls his executioners "pansies" for not being able to kill him on the first try?...

... but unfortunately, as soon as he faded away, that's when the film started slipping into obscurity and mediocrity as well...

Now, I have nothing against Clive Owen. I actually think he did a damn fine job in his role... I just think his role sucked in the second chapter of Sin City, that's all...

Hell, when the only thing you snicker at is his goddam "Lancelot" reference, then you know something just ain't right...

While the first third of the film felt fresh thanks to crooked cops, some fine action from Marv, and some damn fine nudity as well, the second half just felt like it lost way too much of the momentum that the film had going for it at that point... We started off with an absolutely atrociously lame acted scene, with Brittany Murphy (WTF?) trying to actually act serious with Benicio Del Toro. And when it came to Del Toro's "death" by sword, there was no real surprise or suspense to the scene. By that point, I had already become so desensitized to all the gore and slayings, that I just whimpered out an "eh" when people's skulls were literally being sliced in half...

... the action in Sin City was absolutely brutal... both in terms of gore, and eventual tediousness actually...

The second story of the film just didn't have any characters that I was interested in... Michael Clarke Duncan's Kingpin clone was really just a generic thug. And with Goldie/Wendy now missing in action, I didn't give a damn about any of the hookers left over, especially with Rosario Dawson overplaying the Gail role... She had absolutely no chemistry with Clive Owen. And all I could do was roll my eyes at just how much she overacted the scene where she gets off on offing a half dozen guys... And hell, even that soon-to-be-infamous car conversation between Clive Owen and Del Toro (the one scene directed by Quentin Tarantino) turned out to be a complete bore. We were all supposed to impressed by the gore factor of the spliced apart neck or something, but I just ended up yawning at the Kill Bill meaningless dialogue in the end...

Sure, the second story of the film had its moments. The arrow in the chest guy was funny for the first five seconds, and that Japanese girl was pretty damn hot...

But where the fuck was the nudity? You can never get enough nudity... Where were the clever villains? The grenade lover definitely does not count... Where was the protagonist that we actually cared for? Because let's face it - Dwight was just a poor man's Marv... And I guess I was just disappointed that besides Gail, there really were no real links to the first story in the film. Maybe Sin City will work better then as three separate chapters on the upcoming DVD, I don't know... all I do know, is that it really didn't seem like it worked in the film...

And dammit, I couldn't even enjoy Bruce Willis! Since when could I not enjoy a Bruce Willis role?...

... hell, I even almost cried during Armageddon... but let us never speak of that again...

The thing is, I loved the Hartigan part at the start of the film, when I wasn't bored of all the overbearing violence and all... Shooting Nick Stahl's nuts really had me laughing louder than anyone else in the theatre... Michael Madsen did an excellent job with the small role he was awarded... And probably for the only time in the film, the narrative actually worked when it came to his heart condition, as Bruce Willis really can own a scene whenever he wants to, even as just a keeling voice...

The thing is, his Nancy story just felt like such a boring, anti-climatic mess compared to the first story of the film, that I couldn't help but walk away from Sin City feeling disappointed in the end... Having Jessica Alba as a "19-year old" just didn't work. She definitely doesn't look like a 19-year old virgin (although I surely wish she was...)... And I just felt absolutely no chemistry between her and Bruce Willis, although I suppose that was the point...

I hated how damn green the Green Bastard, or Yellow Bastard, or whatever turned out on screen. For every other piece of art and "style" in the film, it was all subtle. So why make the damn ugly, fat green guy so damn obvious? He took away from the rest of the film in the process... Not to mention the fact that, while I do appreciate a circular story now and again, I did get quite sick of all the repeated lines in Bruce Willis' second showdown with Nick Stahl... There was no big battle in the end. There was a knife stab, a ripping of the balls (again), and then a sacrifice for a young lady. And while that may all have sounded cool in a comic book, it just didn't work out on the silver screen. Not as far as I'm concerned, at least...

I mean, where the fuck was my naked Jessica Alba?... and seeing Bruce Willis in a cage for eight years, was not my idea of entertainment...

... two hours was just too damn long in the end for this film... I got bored of the action forty minutes in, and there really wasn't much substance after that... well, if you're not a graphic novel whore, at least...

Once the novelty of a living graphic novel wears thin, you really do get tired of all the redundancy in Sin City...

Because you see, while the purists may all cull and cut off my balls for saying this, but...

... sometimes, a film can be too damn close to its source material for its own good...

Sin City was almost 100% authentic to its comic book roots. Hell, it even ripped off direct comic book bubble narratives for half of the film, or some sort of crap like that...

I know that the purists would all probably cheer and laud Robert Rodriquez for that. But seriously, dialogue that sounds great in your head, often just sounds too goddam ridiculous to bear when it comes to the actual ears...

Brittany Murphy repeating lines over and over again (and trying to actually act serious while doing so...) just didn't work... Jessica Alba, trying to sound like an 11 year old helpless girl again when it comes to "never screaming", just didn't work... Hell, even the opening scene with Josh Hartnett had me rolling my eyes at the uber-cheesy dialogue, until the lovely sound of a gunshot wound lifted my spirits (and gave me a rise...), for the first third of the film at least...

You could tell that this film had so much potential. And from a strictly "original" point of view, Sin City will really stand out from pretty much every other film to be released this year. If that says anything at least...

... but really, was the film worth the $10 I spent this afternoon?... isn't that all that matters?...

When I left that Paramount Theatres today, muddled and befuddled with mixed feelings, I looked over to my friends who had followed me to the film... and they were all shaking their heads as well...

"Well, I saw "Sin City" on Friday night at 9:30pm...and to be honest...I loved every minute of it. This film was just so damn entertaining...it might even be more entertaining than the first Kill Bill..and that's saying a lot coming from me.

This film was directed by the master Robert Rodriguez, who by all means is the master of digital photography and perhaps the most frugel and fast paced director out there. This is due to the fact that he creates and cuts, and makes his own music by himself, and/or hires outside help of his hiring/choosing. Among many reasons, he has his own studio, Troublemaker, in his hometown outside of Austin, TX.

This latest film by Mr. Rodriguez continues in the tradition of his El Mariachi trilogy. In that, he creates such a visceral, hard boiled world with gritty, very entertaining characters. However, this time out he didn't do any creating...but relied solely on the majestic, graphic novel of Frank Miller. Rodriguez even made him co-director, and created a scene to be guest directed by Quentin Tarentino. This is a film piece to be beloved in the huge realm of pop culture. The film is huge, wam bam, thank you man action...and each character shines like nobody's business. Even if Marv (Mickey Rourke), does steal his portion of the movie...but every character...in my humble opinion shines in this film...even some tepid actresses surprised me at their actual talent, a one Brittany Murphy (Shelley) and Rosario Dawson (Gail).

The film "Sin City" is comprised of three stories...that are taken from three of Miller's graphic novels. The film opens and ends with the story of Hardigan (Bruce Willis), who is a old, almost burnt out detective in the little enclave known as Basin City. His partner, Bob (Michael Madsen), becomes quite jealous of Hardigan's existence and decision to retire soon...so Bob becomes more or less a shady friend of Hardigan. The main arc of Hardigan's life was the protection of a little girl from being raped by the son of a wealthy, powerful town Senator. This little girl, Nancy, grew up on her own and started a life as a "coyote ugly" dancer at a Sin City dive bar. However, the rapist which Hardigan disemboweled when Nancy was a young girl...is now out and is seeking revenge on Hardigan. This rapist has become disfigured to an extent, and has become known as the Yellow Bastard (Nick Stahl). In the end, Nancy is saved from a traumitized life...however, Hardigan learns the errors of his ways...

The glue of Sin City is kinda put together by the bar that Nancy dances at. As well, Shelly (Brittany Murphy) is a waitress...who meets Dwight (Clive Owen), a drifter type in the city. And...then there is Marv...who is an ogre-like man who towers over people and knows how to torture the best of people...in pretty inventive ways mind you.

The second of the stories revolves around Marv and his attention to finding the killer of Goldie (Jaime King). Marv was recently released from jail...and found himself a prostitute, Goldie, who she herself found quite a liking to Marv in distinction from the rest of her life. The two seemed to have a mutual attraction to one another. However, the cops of Basin City, which were sent on behalf of the mob head senator and archbishop (Rutger Hauer), came after Marv at his motel room. However, Marv...being the man he his...took names. Marv ended up in front of Gail and her Goldie's sister, because Goldie's sister thought that Marv wanted Goldie dead and killed her himself. However, with a bit of explanation, Marv cleared things up for the gals. Marv became quite the striking figure for the gals...as he was able to get out of the ropes that they tied him up with. In the end, Marv came set up his revenge against Kevin (Elijah Wood)...the mute ninja kid who had a fetish for eating girl bodyparts and creating girl head statues. The fight scene of Marv's revenge against Kevin was awesome, and the visual style of Kevin's eyes through the sunglasses was just downright cool.

The third story was that of Dwight (Clive Owen) and Gail's gang of hooker prostitutes to take back the Old City. This was probably the weakest of the stories. But the action by Devon Aoki's character was cool, and Alexis Bledel looked hot.

...and the Josh Hartnett shorts at the beginning and end of Sin City were quite intriguing...but really had nothing to do with the film...decent shorts anyways...

...oh...forgot to mention the undercover detective gone rogue played by Benicio Del Toro...his scene in the car after he was "pez'd" was quite well done...and the visual style in the film was brilliant filmmaking...go Tarantino go...can't wait for the season finale of CSI (the original), but I digress...even if it is a cliff hanger...

Overall, this film was kick ass. Therefore, I shall give this film a 3.5/4 stars and a 9/10."

Film Design - 9.5
Enjoyment Factor - 9.0
Overall (not an average) - 9.0
(3.5 out of 4 stars)
- Risen Phoenix -