6x01 and 6x02 – Bargaining (Parts 1 and 2)

- the one where Buffy is resurrected

Oh, I’ve probably said this in all my Buffy and Angel season wrap-up reviews, but that’s because it’s always true. It just seems like Joss Whedon just doesn’t care about his season openers... Season two had been born with utter crap, season three’s only contribution was the cuteness of the name "Anne", season four had a freshman episode that really just felt out of place, season five had that goddam annoying Dracula, and season seven’s season premiere wasn’t that much better either...

There is only one exception to the Whedonesque rule. There’s only been one season that had a stellar season premiere...

Bargaining was obviously not a perfect episode. But it was the only season premiere that even remotely resembled the kind of epic action and character development that you’d expect from a show with some of the biggest season finales of all TV... The first time I watched Bargaining, I’ll admit that I didn’t like it that much. I loved the action in it, but the stupidity factor of a gang of demons (who ironically was listening to Slayer’s music...) ripping apart the Buffybot with motorcycles, kinda hindered whatever kind of love I had for the two-parter...

Looking back though, Bargaining really delivered in all the places that a season premiere is meant to deliver... Not only did it set up the character arcs for each and every character of the season, but the comic relief in the first hour was some of the best of the season. And just the overall mood of the episode, the feelings of loss and disappointment, really stood out as the true epitome of change from the WB station to UPN... it’s just too bad most of the rest of the season couldn’t keep up the feeling of change... not that I ever thought the Buffy formula needed changing, but I’ll get into that in other mini-reviews...

Every single character played a pivotal part in Bargaining. And that’s one of the things that will always stand out in the two-hour episode... Xander probably had his strongest season sixth performance outside of Once More, With Feeling. I loved the fact that he made a "you’re the boss" sign for Willow, with sparkles and whatnot. And even if his lines weren’t written that great, I still felt bad for the poor bastard, when he realized what he had done. When he realized they had left Buffy in her grave, hands bleeding and traumatized and all...

Anya herself was probably at her best this episode (too bad she was off her game for the rest of season six). Sure, her constant bickering about their delayed engagement announcement did get annoying over the season. But her extra-literal feelings of concern for Xander always made her character feel much more real. And you gotta love her concern for the Magic Box, especially when she was hugging Giles goodbye... Now, poor Giles didn’t get many episodes of the season to shine. And I personally thought his earlier scenes in Bargaining, where he was throwing axes at vampires and teaching Buffybot how to breathe, weren’t Anthony Stewart Head’s best moments on the show either... But c’mon already. I may not have gotten all teary upped, but I did feel bad for the poor bastard when he was given a "grr, arrggh" finger monster as a remembrance for his times in Sunnydale. Just the soft way the actor speaks out, "I didn’t want to make a scene", really made you miss the guy. And you just gotta adore the balloon-fight sign that Willow made as well...

... but, umm... Sunnydale has an airport?...

Willow finally had her season to truly shine in season six. This was her time to take the reigns, and her addiction to power was already showing in the Scooby meetings this episode... It was completely unlike her to a) abuse her telekinesis, b) hide things from Giles, and c) refuse to listen to Xander when it came to the dangers of raising the dead... Willow even managed to convince the rest of the group to partake in her little Osiris offering, simply because she gave in a lovely performance (of Buffy being in a hell dimension), when really the audience could already tell she just wanted to see if she could do it or not... she just wanted to see if she could bring Buffy back... Now, I’ll admit that I really couldn’t stand Willow in her later scenes. After the e-bayed Osiris jar was taken out by the demons, all Willow really did was whine and cry and follow the light from her little tinker-bell of a girlfriend... Tara herself wasn’t that useful in this episode. She didn’t really offer much comic relief. And I would’ve preferred if Xander had been the one to axe the demon gang leader instead, if only as a nice bookmark for what happens in the season finale... But while both Willow and Tara weren’t the most interesting characters in Bargaining, they really were the highlight of the season. Even I have to admit that... I really wish the writers had just kept Willow on her path to darkness through power, like Bargaining had showed with all of her overconfidence in magic. But every season has their flaws... just never a flaw that damn after-school special annoying, but I’ll get into that much later on...

Poor bastard Spike was underutilized in this episode though. Once again, he was the whipped, sired fool who refused to leave Dawn to the pain of demons... I know in season seven, he claimed that he never ever hated himself as a demon. But what was he feeling in this episode then? How could guilt and regret not be considered a soul?... Hell, you could even tell from his hair. James Marsters in all his glory, was trying to tell us he felt terrible for what happened with Glory... and it was nice, that all of character development from season five was not lost (although I wish he was more bad ass this episode, with only that one motorcycle moment for him to look like old skool Spike)... Alone, Spike really wasn’t much use in Bargaining. But in season five, he really did develop a much needed rapport with Dawn. And thank God that all translated over into season six... because quite frankly? I think Bargaining was the one of the only episodes that Dawn was even tolerable, in all of the entire season... She never seemed to interact well with the Buffybot, always struggling to act like she was dazed or confused in her convincings. But her chemistry with the real Buffy was undeniable... I thought those scenes blended perfectly, with the end of season five splicing into Dawn and Buffy back on the Glorificus tower. Dawn really did seem like she needed her sister then and there... I think I actually felt bad for her... considering Buffy had grown such a fondness for suicidal jumps...

As for Sarah Michelle Gellar, I can’t say I ever really enjoyed her disconnection from the world when it came to being brought back from the dead. All of the scenes where Buffy combs the streets, in a fish-bowl kind of Predator vision, not knowing what to say until she saw herself split in five by the motorcycle demons... well, I rolled my eyes at that the first time, and I just fast-forwarded through it the second time... But there’s no denying, that I still laugh whenever the Buffybot manages to get four gold hero stars at the Parent-teacher night. And there’s no denying that Buffy, looking all dead and adorable in her casket, really does look terrified when clawing out of her grave... There’s no denying that I do feel bad for her and the characters full of guilt, whenever Willow realizes that she may have brought Buffy back wrong... And even though I laugh at how damn addicted to suicide Buffy was on the tower, there’s simply no denying as well that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Michelle Trachetenberg really do feel like sisters, the way they care about each other. Or at least, they did in Bargaining... which is more than I can say for the rest of the season...

Now, Bargaining plot-wise was the not the greatest of achievements on the show. To be honest, I expected better than biker demons, the Buffybot getting smashed, and the Glory tower collapsing just when the time was right... But what really made Bargaining quite the bargain, was all the great character development that really set off the rest of the season. I mean, it doesn’t matter if I never really liked what happened to the characters in season six... All that really matters, is that the writers had a plan. And you could see the entire season in these two hours of a season premiere alone... with Buffy’s hands bleeding, with Spike’s feelings gutted when he was left alone by Dawn... with Willow crying in pain when he thought Buffy was gone for good...

From Buffy’s fear that she was now in hell, to hell, even the talk about the prejudice against zombies... all of this, all of it made this Bargaining into one of the best of the entire season. And definitely the best season premiere that a Buffyverse show has ever created... although I know that seriously ain’t saying much...

6x03 – After Life

- the one where Buffy is attacked by the demon from the resurrection spell

Okay, I admit that I hated After Life the first time I watched it. And it’s really not hard to see why... The haunting by the hitchhiker or whatever demon was just plain grating at best. I’ve never liked Buffy as a horror series, and seeing Dawn breath out fire with those crappy eye contacts of hers, definitely wasn’t the crap I signed on for in watching season six...

But the first act of After Life was definitely better than I remember... Dawn was mostly annoying this episode. Her care for Buffy on the Glory tower the episode before no longer showed. Instead, her concern just felt fake whenever talking about how nice Buffy looked, or about buttoning her shirt up... But this episode was truly made whole by the Buffy and Spike interactions. Just the way James Marsters smiled in joy without once smiling as he saw Buffy descending those stairs, was one of the most definitive Spike moments in the entire season. And the way he just tenderly held her broken hands, the way he managed to relate to her through their experiences of coming back from the grave?... it still gets to me how Buffy coincidentally buttons up her skirt, closing herself off to Spike as soon as they meet... yet he’s the first person she ever really talks to in the season... She really seemed to trust him. Hell, she even shut up once it wasn’t just her and him alone anymore in the house... Just the mere looks between these two characters were what turned this episode around for me. It’s just too bad the rest of the episode sucked...

Now, I get it – magic has consequences. And Willow knew that, as Spike surmised... Willow created a demon that couldn’t be killed when getting back Buffy from the grave. And she didn’t even seem guilty about it... My real beef with this episode, was that the price (or the "gift with purchase", as Anya so aptly put it) of the Bargaining was so damn lame in the end. Buffy and co have killed tons of incorporeal demons before, so why fret it now?... Season seven gave me some hope that maybe Buffy’s resurrection would have some real dire consequences. But that just turned into loose end crap in the end... and the only real consequence in the sixth season, was the fact that Buffy and life in general just made everyone miserable...

And in light of the new season, none of the characters really amounted to much this episode.. Willow just got to keep justifying her mystifying actions, letting herself feel all reassured when Buffy was lying about being in hell... I already forget what Tara did. And Dawn was just a nuisance, full of hot air (quite literally, I guess)... Xander got to be all concerned for Anya, cutting herself up with a knife. While all she cared about was how pretty she looked while possessed... and really, the only meaningful scene with the Scooby gang, was when they all let themselves hear what they wanted to hear. Buffy thanked them all for getting them out of hell, and they all chose to believe it. Especially Willow, who only wanted to be reaffirmed... and I just couldn’t help but feel sorry for Buffy there. Thanks to Sarah Michelle Gellar’s amazing acting, you could tell that she was lying... She wasn’t wild like Angel was after returning from hell. She was depressed... disconnected... alone...

... except for Spike... and the final scene of this episode, I never forgot... because I’m sure Spike never did either...

I already knew from Bargaining that she had been torn away from heaven. But Buffy’s speech this episode still touched me. It still haunted me... to think of the irony at least, of your closet friends returning you to a life of hell... Spike didn’t even say a word. I mean, he wasn’t just surprised... he just wanted to help Buffy, and didn’t know what to say... And honestly, what were the writers thinking then? How could they ever argue that Spike, as a soulless demon, was capable of no good when he was more human than anyone else in this entire episode?... Conditioned by the chip or not, he was the one Buffy confided in. Because he was the only one who truly cared. Everyone else just wanted to feel better about what they had done... But Spike knew... and Buffy knew that he was there for him...

Now, it wasn’t like After Life was much of an after party... Most of the episode sucked, including one of the most laughable fight scenes in the history of the show. But the ever strong performances between Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters once again made a terrible episode shine through...

... if only those two were star crossed lovers in the first and second seasons, maybe I could’ve enjoyed the show back then, no matter how bad the episodes may have been...

6x04 – Flooded

- the one where the Trio is introduced

I’m not sure what the general consensus is out there about Flooded. But even though I was kind of cast away by how cute and not very depressed Buffy was, right off the get go in her search for Mr. Drippy, I will definitely say that Flooded was one of the most enjoyable episodes of the season...

Before I get into that though, I do have to complain about the idiocy that the writers are... I mean, the theme of the season was "Life is the Big Bad". Yes, Buffy has to earn money and be a parent and blah blah blah... But are the writers daft or something? She has a job. She’s the slayer. And why the hell couldn’t she make money off of that?... Sure, the Scoobies made fun of Anya’s "charging" option, which led to the best Spiderman quote of the show... But isn’t that what Angel Investigations does? Why not in Sunnydale? And what about the Watcher’s Council? Shouldn’t they support their Slayer?... What about Willow? What about Tara? Sure, they’re still in university, although we rarely ever see them there. But can’t they find part time jobs? If they’re living in the goddam Summers house, shouldn’t they help with the finances?... And Giles? WTF is wrong with Giles this season? Sure, he came through at the end of Life Serial. But why didn’t he stay with Buffy, helping her with the finances all season? It’s not like he has any children... Buffy is her daughter, essentially. Shouldn’t he support her? Instead, he just looks all mopey from being ignored. But for God’s sakes, her mother died! Hell, she died! Cut her a friggin’ break and just stay for a year...

... yeah, the writers are daft indeed... they thought grilling burgers at the Double Meat Palace would be a funnier idea than any realistic option for keeping the Summers house and Buffy’s expansive wardrobe in check...

Still, despite the goddam money issues, I really did love Flooded. Every single character had their role... I loved Xander’s "Mr. Logic" routine, always getting out of telling the gang about the engagement. And Anya had perhaps her best episode of the season, once again spiting back in Xander’s face one of his romantic moments in the best way possible... Dawn wasn’t very good at being considerate of her sister. But she finally did get to do research. And the actress is definitely funny when she wants to be, although I do want to know where that "horn" was on the demon drawing (it can’t be in the obvious place, now can it?...)... Giles finally made his return in this episode, and he definitely was caring and considerate in only ways that Giles can be. Well, to Buffy anyways... I’ll always miss his rapport with Buffy, sleeping with the girlie covers on the sofa couch (but did he really sell his apartment that damn fast?...)...

But he certainly wasn’t kind to Willow. And that’s definitely one reason to love this episode... Even without many scenes dedicated to her, Flooded was all about Willow. And the contrast between her lighter and darker sides was more than just well done... You’d think nothing was wrong at her at the start, making up stories about sleeping with Riley and having affairs with Angel. And then the big Darth Rosenberg speech hits... Not only does she threaten Giles, but she refuses to even accept the notion that she might’ve done something wrong in bringing Buffy back. She was definitely in love with her own power. A rank, arrogant amateur indeed... It was perhaps the best and most telling Dark Willow moment up until she actually turned evil in the end. If only the rest of the sixth season had stayed on this love-of-power trip of hers, and not the goddam mushroom trip later on, than the sixth season really could’ve been one of the best...

Like I said, Willow’s character was top notch in Flooded. And as always, Buffy was on top of her game as well... She was absolutely adorable this episode. Not only was her hair perfect, not only did I love her in blue, but her "stupid skirt" was exactly the "post-postmortem comedy" that the show needed... I loved how her humour was all dark and disturbing enough that it wasn’t funny to anyone else but Spike. And it was always so cute, how she tried to act all like old cheery Buffy, without ever being that same ol’ Buffy we knew... Caring about broken coffee tables and the cost of designer lamps was brilliant (and produced one of the more entertaining fight scenes in the season). And confiding with Spike, about the truth of how she was feeling, was even better in the end... The poor girl couldn’t even get a loan from the bank after saving everyone’s lives. And the only one she could talk finances with was William the Bloody Awful Poet... Sarah Michelle Gellar found the perfect blend of both depression and "fire pretty" comedy. If only the rest of the season had kept this up, then the sixth season would’ve been my favourite of them all...

And there’s another reason why the sixth season could’ve been the best... The introduction of the nerds was sweet as hell to me, shocking me at the time that they were going to be the Big Bads of the season... Now, I really don’t know what ugly ass video game was playing itself on the big screen in the background. All I know, is that I loved the Big Board with the shrink ray and "the gorilla thing". And all the geeks (Warren, Jonathan, and the running gag of the other guy) were perfect in their roles... For this episode and Life Serial, everything these characters said was pure comedy gold. I mean, Warren being a jedi master? Serious discussions about hyperspace travel and wormhole physics? Home-made flame-throwers, with memories of super-cool mission statements? And hypnotizing super hot Buffy into a sex slave?... sigh... this was my kind of television heaven... And nostalgic too, considering mentions of Warren’s love bots and Jonathan ‘s Superstar spell made it all into the script as well... I know that the fans never warmed up the Trio. But if they were just given a chance, maybe the writers wouldn’t have made them absolutely suck after Life Serial? Maybe they could’ve actually stayed both evil and funny instead of just plain annoying... but I digress... or do I?...

I have a running theme going here, don’t I?... If only the nerds had kept their goddam evil PS2s instead of going all lameass serious and murderous, if only Buffy had remained her depressing yet comedic self, and if only Dark Willow could’ve stayed on her path to power rather than college junkie vile ville... than the sixth season really could’ve been the best... it really could’ve been flooded with greatness...

Flooded was a perfect example of how to show such perfect potential for a season... Now, I don’t remember how this episode was first regarded by the fans. I just have a feeling though, that if only the fans had liked it more... the season could’ve stayed on the path that was laid this episode... the season really could’ve been great...

6x05 – Life Serial

- the one where Buffy is tested by the Trio

I will always hate the fans of Buffy for one reason and one reason alone...

... okay, well... so maybe I hate the fans of Buffy for a million different reasons... but there’s one specific reason about all else...

How the hell could they not like this episode?...

I absolutely loved Life Serial. Even after five or so watchings, it still stands as one of my favourite Buffy episodes to this very day. And why wouldn’t it? The Trio of nerds were the best damn villains the show had ever damn seen, and I absolutely loved every single moment they were on screen... Whether it be Star Wars murals, or theme song car horns... from exploding lint, to bonuses to getting Buffy fired, to especially Andrew getting slapped on the back of his head for his love for Timothy Dalton... There was absolutely nothing about the geeks that I didn’t love in this episode. As a complete geek myself, I’ve searched for free cable porn all my life, even with the internet by the side... I’ve always wanted a surveillance van with DVR systems, although I’ll never know why they used a bunch of bloody hell Mac systems... And I thought the nerds brought a perfect balance to an episode still full of the doom and gloom of Buffy being back from the dead, with deadly house bills and all... I loved this episode for the geeks. I loved this episode, and it hurt a lot when so many fans on the internet said it sucked...

How could they not love the mummy hand with tweezers? Or the start of Andrew’s "homophobia"?... by hating an episode about geeks... by hating an episode that mentioned one of my favourite Star Trek: TNG episodes of all time... it’s almost like... sniff sniff... the fans were hating me...

... which they would, if any of them ever read the crap I write... but that’s besides the point...

But at least people eventually got used to the idea of the Trio over time, and over the past years, the fans have started to find a disdain for their initial distaste of this episode... And it’s damn well time they did. I mean, what’s there not to like? Buffy was absolutely adorable this episode... Now, I’ll never ever understand how the hell Warren could make an "inhibitor" that makes the world fast-forward, yet time remained constant in the surveillance van. But Buffy just looked so damn cute when she was mocking the "evil lint" that I can actually forgive all the wacky science involved... And poor Buffy, being fired by Xander like that. Andrew’s demons may not have put on a decent fight, but awww, Buffy looked so cute as a construction worker! Then the poor girl was reduced to retail... in which she rather be dead again, and so would I... And the mummy hand loop was one of the greatest ideas the show has ever brought forth. I really wish Buffy had raised penguins in Guam, because I’ve always had a thing for penguins. I’ve always had a thing for Buffy. And the poor look on her face when smashing Giles’ glasses in frustration was simply priceless... And hell, even the Spike-centric scenes felt special, if only because of darling kittens. And if only because Sarah Michelle Gellar was absolutely darling as a cutie drunk... With so many classic scenes in this episode, hell - just from the mummy hand scenario alone, how the hell didn’t the fans like this episode in the first place? I mean, the geeks weren’t the only things that were great... This was the first episode of the sixth season where Buffy herself had returned to true form...

And although none of the other characters really played major parts, they all were perfect in their supporting roles at least... Giles got to be ridiculously funny, completely ignoring whatever Buffy said in the Magic Box. Poor bastard didn’t even remember getting his glasses done in. Which was probably a good thing, otherwise he wouldn’t have acted like a father with the cheque in the end... Anya wasn’t nearly as remarkable as she was in the earlier season six episodes. But picturing her naked definitely does calm me down like she suggested. And getting Buffy to quit was the right thing to do. Retail is a bitch, afterall... Now, Willow and Tara didn’t get much to do. I’ll never understand how Warren’s exploding lint managed to get Tara to completely ignore Buffy in the hallways. And I’ll always hate Willow, for trying to make sociology far more complicated than it is with hallowing words. But at least the Matrix special effects of the scene were well done... Dawn was mostly useless. And Xander was too, although firing Buffy was absolutely genius of him... Spike tried desperately once again to draw Buffy over the gray side of the force. And while his character didn’t really say much himself, you gotta love a vampire with a chip, who cheats at kitten poker in front of his girl. And just the way he stared at Buffy every time she took a shot of Whisky?... I dare you to tell me that he doesn’t adore her. Just the looks these two characters give each other, is reason enough to watch this episode over and over and over again... like a Jonathan time loop, actually...

So once again, I ask the fans... How the hell could you possibly not have loved this episode the first time around? Sure, the penguins in Guam thing gets quoted all the time now. And everyone now gets nostalgic at the sight of Buffy ripping the customer a new one... But how the heck could the fans ever have hated Life Serial in the first place? Perhaps because even with all the time loops, even with all the James Bond references, it all just reminded them just too much of their own lives?...

... well, the geeks sure as hell reminded me of mine... and since I’ve always loved to mock myself, it’s no wonder to me why Life Serial is an episode larger than life itself...

6x06 – All The Way

- the one where Dawn goes out on Halloween

Worst. Episode. Ever.

... well, maybe not the absolute worst episode ever... There were a hell of a lot of season two episodes that I still ward off with axes and crosses to this very day... but still, All The Way did suck... quite literally...

I mean, what the hell has happened to all the metaphors in the show? Before, crazy nights out on Halloween meant turning into the very costumes you donned. But now? Now episodes are made, where lameass, teen angsty vampires egg houses, pick on poor misguided (and poorly misdirected) old men, and actually use the term "All the Way"?

... Worst... Episode... Ever...

The only thing that keeps this episode from usurping Wrecked from the bottom of the barrel, was the whole thing at the Magic Box on Halloween... Anya was the best, with her Charlie’s Angels thing and the dance of capitalist superiority. Xander got to choke on his own oxygen, doing the predictable thing of panicking before the wedding... Giles finally got to show to us just why exactly he constantly cleans his glasses, although I really hate the fact he wouldn’t cut Buffy a break at the end (she frickin’ died, you dumbass! Show some concern...)... Spike got to pretend like he was a rebel again, still thinking he was the Big Bad when he could barely even take on a single vampire... Buffy herself wasn’t even much good in All The Way. Not compared to All My Children, at least... Her fight scene was good, with the car door bashing near the end. But character wise? Halloween episodes just don’t seem to be her thing... well, this one at least...

Because alas, this was a Dawn episode... and wow, it really amazes me just how bad her character sucks in the sixth season... First, she goes all clepto again, in a plotline that seriously went nowhere in the season. And then she went parking with a guy vampire, who just happened to act like a complete gentleman for absolutely no apparent reason whatsoever... And Dawn couldn’t provide any comic relief. All she did, was look all depressed and angsty, far worse than Buffy even did in the second season of the show... Her character didn’t even learn anything this episode! It just went nowhere! She just kept on going with her clepto thing, ignoring others and whining how others ignore her. While this may be all good with "invisible girl" metaphors, this just doesn’t work as actual whining and pining on screen. WTF is wrong with the writers now?...

... too bad Ms. Janice of Arcadia didn't stick around on the show... she wasn't pretty in this episode, but she sure got hot once she started talking to God... and hey, I'd talk to her anyday, but that's besides the point...

The only strong thing about All The Way was the Willow and Tara relationship... Willow was definitely enjoying the power of magic far too much. The decorations were fine, but her complete justification of shifting people in alternate dimensions really did show just how far her character had come... The fight between the two was whiny. And it was kind of unnerving that their last fight, before Glory sucked out Tara’s brain, never got mentioned... But the big whammy then took place. Quite literally, with Willow actually putting a spell on Tara without even blinking an eye. If only the writers had stayed on this path of addiction to power... if only they had kept using metaphors, rather than, umm... actually showing drug addiction through goddam drug addiction... then maybe this season could’ve really been worth a rewatch, Once More, With Feeling...

Which is why I ask myself, WTF were the writers thinking? What happened to all the clever metaphors of the show? Was Marti Noxon on drugs or some crap like that?... probably...

... but I’ll save my harshest comments for Wrecked... I’ll go all the way with that episode, indeed...

6x07 – Once More, With Feeling

- the musical episode

Best. Episode. Ever.

Is it?... all I know is that I’ve watched Once More, With Feeling about a dozen times by now. And never once has it gotten boring. Never once has it ceased to amaze me, just how hard everyone works on the show... The entire cast and crew put a whole 110% into this episode, and it really shows. With feeling, and more... I don’t really know if it’s the best episode of Buffy ever made. But it definitely is my favourite. There’s no other show I’ve ever seen, that I’ve admired and respected more than Once More, With Feeling.

What is with Joss Whedon and seventh episodes of the season?... Starting with The Initiative in season four, every Buffy year has had the seventh episode been one of the best of the entire season. Season five had Fool for Love, season seven had Conversations with Dead People... and season six, obviously had Once More, With Feeling... the episode that every person on the Buffy crew got involved in. Hell, even David Fury made his mark as the Mustard Man. And Marti Noxon sure as hell had an amazing voice. Her parking ticket ballad was definitely one of the only few things that she did right all season long... but I’ll complain more about her, with feeling, once we get to the "bad boyfriend" episodes...

Once More, With Feeling felt more meaningful and more epic than any movie I’ve seen in a very long time. And why wouldn’t it? A musical featuring some of the deepest character developments that the series had ever seen?... Joss Whedon realized the fact that we sing what we really felt, and made an episode out of it that truly made every character shine as a star. And it’s almost both enlightening and depressing at the same time... Once More, With Feeling wasn’t just the highlight of the entire series. It was also the last time the show was really great... Buffy the Vampire Slayer just never felt right after Once More, With Feeling, partially because of what happens to the characters in it... I guess I can’t blame the episode for that though... How could I possibly ever blame the best episode of Buffy, period, for anything really?...

Right off the bat, the episode was at its finest... I absolutely loved Sarah Michelle Gellar’s "Going Through the Motions"... Now, I admit that it was obvious that she wasn’t the most talented singer of the bunch. But this song didn’t need musical talent... It needed sass. It needed character. It needed comedy. And that’s what made it great... Buffy sang every single verse with the kind of adorable depression that I’ve always loved about the character. And because of that, it’s no wonder why I still can’t get the song out of my goddam head... with lines like:

"She does pretty well with friends from hell,
But lately we can tell...
That she’s been going through the motions,
Faking it somehow.
She’s not even half the girl she... owww..."

Joss Whedon right off the bat established Once More, With Feeling as a musical comedy. And Sarah Michelle Gellar really brought his vision to life... Not only was almost every single line of the song witty, but I loved the imagery too. From the captured male model, to the sheer ridiculousness of synchronized dancing demons, to especially the whole Disney-like feeling the song gave with vampire dust here and close-ups of Buffy’s beautiful face over there?... sigh... she made me go through the emotions with her beauty in song, in definitely one of the most memorable tuns of the entire show...

"I’ve Got a Theory" wasn’t as memorable as "Going Through the Motions" was for me. But there’s no denying that the sound of Anya, hardcoring it about twitchy Bunnies with evil eyesight, was one of the best things the show has ever produced... Once again, the musical comedy feel of the episode really broke through with a number that was both catchy and witty. All the variety in this song, from Xander shutting up about evil witches, to the chirping of crickets at Anya’s fear of midgets... and the twist in the music, when Buffy tries to convince the group that nothing really matters? Not only did I love the double meaning in her double speak, but once again, Buffy was given some of the most clever lines of the musical:

"We have to try.
We’ll pay the price...
It’s do or die.
Hey, I’ve died twice..."

Going Through the Motions was amazingly memorable to me, thanks to the whole Disney-epic feel of it (and the hotness that is Buffy, doofus...). But I’ve Got A Theory probably had the most natural feel of all comedic songs in the episode. It just felt right, because it was so different than you’d expect from a normal musical...

And then came Tara’s turn... Now, it still makes me chuckle to this day that Alyson Hannigan actually begged Joss Whedon so that she wouldn’t need to sing. It really makes me wish for a "Willow" series in the future (with Spike, of course...), where she’s the lead in the next Whedonesque musical... But I guess Willow didn’t really need to sing. Not while Amber Benson was still around, with an absolutely beautiful voice that I never really expected from her character...

"I’m Under Your Spell" wasn’t my favourite song. I’ve never liked love songs, and this one was the sappiest of them all, with even little Disney magical effects and charms in the air... But I just can’t get over just how damn beautiful Amber Benson’s voice was. She handled the entire ballad absolutely perfectly. And there’s no denying that the verses of the song had more of their fair share of meanings as well... "I’m Under Your Spell" was both touching and heart-breaking. The setting and dancing was all marvelous (can I have the girl in the white on the right?... please?...). And dramatic irony made poor Tara seem like such a poor victim of a sap (well, a lethe sap anyhew), singing the same words she would in her later reprise... The song ended better and more decisively than any other song in the episode. And besides, I’ve always been a fan of written erotica pornography... Joss may not like the line himself, but I’ll personally keep my eyes out for whatever the "Willow tree" may look like... until ol’ Wes comes after me with a shotgun, but that’s besides the point...

"I’ll Never Tell" was a pure comedic duet, and I agree that it mostly worked... Emma Caulfield really surprised me with her voice. And even tough he absolutely couldn’t dance, I thought Nicholas Brendon’s voice really worked well in this song... Now, the lines in "I’ll Never Tell" were so ridiculously stupid at times that it definitely worked in verse. From "beady eyes", to "this is my verse, hello", this song definitely had enough clever ideas to go around... But yeah, I gotta agree with Anya on this one. It will never be a break-away pop-hit, because the tune of it just wasn’t that great. Almost each and every line was clever, but at times the scene was just ruined by some pretty off dancing... It’s always a plus to see Anya half naked for the entire song. And the couple did look rather adorable when plushing cheeks while singing and lying to each other’s face, but... I don’t know. This song was good. I guess it just couldn’t really impress me like the three songs before though, which is obviously understandable... I laughed throughout the song still. And I was meant to. That’s all that matters, with feeling...

Now, this is going to sound weird, considering he’s an actual musical veteran and all, but... umm... I really didn’t like the demon Sweet’s voice in his song. Hell, I don’t even know what his song was called... All I know, is that maybe was too good, for the good of the episode. His voice didn’t fit in with everyone else’s. And he kept blending and bleeding his words together, the way real musicals do, ruining the deep meanings behind everything that Joss had written... The song didn’t just suck to me because Sweet felt monotonous at times though. I liked his tap-dancing down the stairs, but besides that? The imagery, or flashing smiles and rotting corpses, just seemed completely out of place in the music... The one thing I did like about this song was Dawn’s dancing. Although Michelle Trachtenberg wasn’t perfect, she definitely had grace in her steps. I just wish she had some in her voice as well... she completely didn’t mesh with the too damn good Sweet, and it just completely ruined the song for me... I hate to say this, and it sure is ironic to hate the song an actual musical veteran performs in, but... well, no wonder I normally hate musicals...

But Spike’s song? Oh, Spike... Why, oh why, do I have such an obsession with Spike? It’s like I live vicariously though him. I mean, I’d much prefer if I could have Buffy all to myself... but whenever Spike has her in his arms?... things feel just as sweet somehow...

So it’s no wonder why I loved James Marsters' song above all else... Sure as a sire, "Let Me Rest in Peace" suffered from a lot of bad choreography. I mean, WTF was Whedon thinking, having Spike do rainbows in his crypt and tumbles into graves? And how the heck did Spike shove all those people without having the chip go off?... But inconsistencies aside, "Let Me Rest in Peace" really was probably my favourite song of the entire episode. I’ve always been a fan of Spike, and the meanings in his lyrics I still admire to this day...

"I know, I should go...
But I follow you, like a man possessed.
There’s a traitor here, beneath my breast,
And it hurts me more, than you’ve ever guessed...
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest.
But I can see, you’re unimpressed,
So leave me be..."

There’s just something about those lines, and those lines alone... there’s just something about the lyrics in "Let Me Rest in Peace" that I somehow just managed to completely relate to... I’ve always loved the Buffy and Spike dynamic. And I still laugh whenever Buffy realizes what she meant with "what else would I want to pump you for?"... But I don’t know. This song was just absolutely beautiful between the two of them. And I still sing it, you know... sorry to say, but I still sing it... and that says something... that means something, doesn’t it?...

There’s another song I used to hum on my way to school... Giles’ "Wish I Could Stay" or whatever the song was called, was definitely one of the more memorable tunes of the episode. And it was all thanks to Anthony Stewart Head, who had already showed his singing chops on the show with his guitar... Now, I can’t say I adored the imagery in the singing sequence. Having Giles separated from Buffy felt more distracting than it did meaningful, although the big payoff, with Buffy not having heard a thing, was definitely worth the risk... A lot of the lines in the song were kind of long-winded and forced in the end as well. Subtitle speaking, at least... But it didn’t really matter, did it? Anthony absolutely nailed every single verse. It didn’t matter if the lines were hokey or anything – he made everything sound absolutely perfect in the end. The only thing missing was his trademark cleansing of the glasses... or maybe a kung-fu montage from my favourite movies of the past...

And the duet with Anthony and Amber Benson? Absolutely divine... The idea of using a reprise was absolutely genius on Joss Whedon’s part. The double meaning in Tara’s song finally came out in full, and for the first time in the history of the show, I really did care for her character. After all that she had been through with Glory, Willow betrayed her. And her singing brought her pain out to the fullest... And Giles continued on with his wish to play the father. While I will always despise the writers for coming up with the lamest excuses for him to leave the show, how can I ever hold that against Once More, With Feeling? Tara and Giles singing together was perhaps the absolute highlight in a show of highlights. Their voices blended just wonderfully together... Their reprises were truly the definitive meaning of "Once More, With Feeling". And even if their duet was short, it sure as hell was sweet. Deep, meaningful, touching, and sweet... everything this episode was going for...

"I’m under your spell...
God, how could this be?
Playing with my memory...
You know I’ve been through hell.
Willow, don’t you see?
There’ll be nothing left of me...
You made me...

Alas, this was also the point where the episode started breaking down... "Through the Fire" didn’t have terrible lyrics or anything. It’s just that... without the comedy? Sarah Michelle Gellar just couldn’t sing the part... She definitely sang alright, but it just didn’t sound right when she was touching the fire... And the combination of Sweet and the Scoobies all singing at once? At least the song had Spike pulling a 180, and Willow did get that uber-creative line of "mostly filler"... but really, "Through the Fire" was just not Joss Whedon’s best work. I mean, don’t tell me he actually thought fire-trucks would work as anything but laughable imagery. And I sincerely hope no-one thought Giles was doing the right thing, abandoning Dawn and his Slayer for no good reason whatsoever... None of the voices really managed to work together this song. Anya and Xander were surprisingly bad in their solo lines... The teamwork just wasn’t there like it was in "I’ve Got a Theory". And worst of all, the music of the actual song just felt jumbled and a mess in the end... Was that the point? To show Buffy’s angst? I’m really not sure... all I know, is that this was the second worst song in the picture...

With "Give Me Something To Sing About" (or whatever the song is called) being the worst of them all... The only redeeming quality of this song, was the sight of Anya and Tara providing "backup" (even if Amber Benson couldn’t dance nearly as beautifully as she sings)... The rest of the lyrics were just damn bad. I’m sorry, but they were just bad... Sarah Michelle Gellar just couldn’t find the pitch she needed to in this solo. And she certainly wasn’t helped by the horrible melody the song was written to. I know she was supposed to feel all disconnected and chaotic and all, but did the tunes really have to suck because of it?... There was only one moment I enjoyed...

"There was no pain...
No fear or doubt,
‘till they pulled me out,
... of heaven...

The pain in Buffy’s mind... you could really hear it, in this one bridge of a verse alone... Sarah Michelle Gellar truly excelled at blending her character with the meaning behind the song. She may not be a singer, but she was absolutely the greatest actor in the play... It just sucks that Joss really had to beat us over the head with an ugly stick, when it came to the meaning in this song. I mean, WTF is up with the season five crap of, "the hardest thing in the world is to live in it?" How the hell is that supposed to help suicidal Buffy?... I mean, this sounds like the kind of crap I would write when I try to forge my own musicals... It’s all so straight-forward, with the most hypocritical of morals, and with just one singular meaning and no real variety or any sort of logical justification in the end whatsoever... just like this rant of mine... This final solo lacked the creativity of all the songs before it. And it was just painful to listen to, I’m sorry...

No episode is perfect. But Once More, With Feeling definitely did get close... After two poor songs, Joss Whedon bounced back with a final number that was a nice, nostalgic, and breezy reprise of the music that started the episode. And it worked... As simple as the imagery of holding hands was, it worked... And honestly, how could I not love the episode where Buffy and Spike finally get together? I mean, if Joss can’t end a musical with a kiss and the 20^th century Fox curtains, than you know something is wrong... And the final song, "Where Do We Go From Here", really worked perfectly with their romance... Dawn sang well for the first time in the show. And the strength and sorrow in Giles' voice really made the song that much better...

"Understand,
We’ll go hand in hand,
But we’ll walk alone in fear...
Tell me...
Where do we go,
From here?..."

I can complain that Once More, With Feeling didn’t focus enough on Buffy’s return from heaven. Every character but Willow seemed to ignore the big revelation... And I can complain that the pacing in the second half of the episode just felt rushed. There were no Mustard Men, no real sharp cuts, no witty regular dialogue, and nothing really but the queer Queen joke to keep all the songs from seemingly mixing in with one another...

No episode is perfect. But there’s always one episode that just has to be the best episode of Buffy ever made... and despite all my complaints, I still adore and absolutely enviously admire all the hard work and sheer genius comedy that was put, with heart and a vampire’s soul, into Once More, With Feeling...

Best episode ever?...

It was one of the most moving and clever episodes in the history of television. Every single character truly got to shine... The Willow and Tara break-up finally happened, with Amber Benson leaving along with one of the most beautiful voices I’ve heard in years... Xander and Anya provided the last vestige of true romantic comedy, until the truth of their wedding fears ruined the rest of the year... Dawn got to dance instead of whine. And Giles, even if I never liked what happened to his character, still got one of the best send-offs possible with an absolutely intimate and engrossing song... And like I said, how the hell can’t I love the episode that finally gets those two crazy kids of Spike and Buffy together? I simply love both characters, and I simply love the fact that they fell in love... Once More, With Feeling was not only the best episode of Buffy I’ve probably ever seen. Not only is it the episode that I most passionately admire... But it also was absolutely the best musical comedy I’ve ever seen in my life... Hell, I don’t even like musicals. Hell’s bells, come to think of it... I don’t even like music...

... and goddammit, I admit it - I still hum the tunes to "Going Through the Motions" and "Let Me Rest in Peace", two years to the very day this episode aired... hell, I even sing the lyrics out in public, much to the chagrin and raised eyebrows of guys who rather prefer shows for guys... without all the eerie, cheery singing in-between, of course... and if that doesn’t say something about me, if that doesn’t sing something meaningful about how great this episode was and forever will be in the end... then I just don’t know what will...

Shall I sing it again, once more, with feeling?...

... I mean, I’ll never forget... I just wanna feel... just once more...

6x08 – Tabula Rasa

- the one where Willow makes everyone forget

I have a lot to complain about this episode, but mostly not about the episode itself... I mean, Tabula Rasa got the job done. It wasn’t the best of comic episodes, but it definitely wasn’t the worst... I expected a bit more from a classic "clean slate" sort of episode. The writing was there, but the potential just never grew... along with so many of the plotlines this season...

Oh, Giles... Where do I even start with you, Giles? Let’s see here... you choose to leave Buffy after a) her mother died, b) her sister almost died, c) Buffy actually died, and d) after she came back from heaven to live in suburban hell... And Giles is leaving, because he thinks Buffy has to learn how to be a mature woman? Even when she’s fucking broke?... What the fuck is wrong with Giles? I know that the actor wanted more time in Britain. But couldn’t a better excuse be made, like the Council wants him back in the homeland and won’t pay Buffy unless he comes back? You know, something that makes sense, even if it’s blackmail?... He’s leaving a girl that frickin’ had to claw out of her grave. What the fuck is Giles’ problem? Give the dead girl some frickin’ slack over here... And yet he leaves... I will never understand how the writers thought his leaving could be handled this way... Sure it led to some beautiful songs in Once More, With Feeling... but it just doesn’t make much sense...

As for Amber Benson temporarily leaving the show, as least she got to leave with class... It’s kind of funny actually. Joss Whedon kept Tara around just for her voice. He knew he couldn’t let her go until the big musical episode he was planning, and once her voice was captured on tape, what do you know? Out of the door... Still, her leaving did make sense. It broke Willow’s heart this episode, and it have her some sort of goal to become clean from magic again... Joss Whedon is right. The audience does love heart-ache. And although Willow’s character really did start loosing its charm after Tabula Rasa, at least her tears created a decent montage in the end... Well, Joss is mostly right about heartache at least. He seems to have forgotten that television angst is only effective when contrasted with actual happiness on the show. But I’ll save that rant for goddam Hell’s Bells...

Tabula Rasa itself isn’t a bad episode. But so many of its jokes seemed to fall flat... Giles was the most effective comic character. Kissing Anya was ridiculously notorious, and his hug with Randy Giles was simply priceless... Unfortunately, the rest of the characters just weren’t as strong... Dawn had nothing to do except call Xander "Alex". Xander himself threw me nothing but a bone when it came to a possible Xander-Willow re-relationship, although that never did happen in the end... Anya got to fill herself with endless Bunny dread again. Nice to see her phobia is innate now for some odd reason... Spike himself had his moments, running from vampires and blaming Giles for his name. But without his memories, he just wasn’t the same ol’ Spike (except the daylight uniform was great)... Buffy herself really wasn’t herself either, thinking herself to be some sort of Joan of Arc... It was sort of nice to see her happy again, but it certainly didn’t last long. Except for her smile after staking her first vamp, she really wasn’t happy, even without her memories of heaven...

And the whole heaven thing... it never really went anywhere after this episode in the season, now did it? Sure, Willow tried to cure Buffy’s heaven homesickness. But besides that, all we got from the big revelation last episode, was one Scooby talk of how selfish they were in bringing the Slayer back. And even that conversation didn’t last long, switching over to the Willow and Tara relationship which would dominate the season... And if any episode really showed how damn addicted Willow was to the power of magic, it was Tabula Rasa. She willingly lied straight to Tara’s face, hoping that she would forget it all in instant... That is a bit threatening. And it’s surprising Willow wasn’t desperate enough to try something else when Tara was leaving...

I really could’ve done without the Willow and Tara crap in the sewers. While no other characters had a connection when under the spell, Willow and Tara still managed to click, almost as if Joss was trying to prove that Willow’s lesbianism was not a fad or trend... And I wish the Buffy and Spike romance had developed further this episode. The kiss at the end wasn’t passionate enough on camera for my tastes. And besides Buffy claiming she’d never kiss Spike again at the start, the two really didn’t have many touching moments this episode... although Spike being a "vampire with a soul" wasn’t just lame. It was a nice foretelling of the future as well...

Tabula Rasa was a decent episode. But besides all the flaws and plot holes of the sixth season, all of which managed to somehow come up in this episode alone, Tabula Rasa was ironically an utterly forgettable episode...

6x09 – Smashed

- the one where Buffy and Spike get it on

A lot of fans hate this episode. And it’s not hard to see why... I mean, it kinda was the turning point for the sixth season. I personally enjoyed Smashed, but there’s no denying that the things that happen in this episode and the next, absolutely ruined every single character in the cast.

Still, I can’t help but enjoy Smashed... but it’s kinda obvious why... I’ve always dreamed of Buffy and Spike getting their groove on together, ever since I actually started to like the series back in late season two. And Smashed was a smashing good time of that... Buffy was indeed going through the motions, punching Spike one moment and then giving both him and I a hard-on with her heartbreaking of the building... I don’t normally get turned on by television, but honestly, this wasn’t television. This was softcore porn. And damn, do I ever feel the hots for the haze of a daze in the Slayer’s eye when she’s riding Spike like a pony up and down that wall. Smashed was the true definition of Shiver Me Timbers...

I love the love scene between the two of them, although I’m hard pressed to call it love... I just hate the fact, that Marti Noxon grew some sick obsession with her "bad boyfriend" syndrome of a scenario. I have absolutely no clue what could’ve triggered it in her own life, and I can’t really say the season was any better from it... Sure, having a badass boyfriend led to some rather seductive scenes, in this episode and the next third or whatever of the season. But it just felt so damn weird, seeing Spike as a bad guy again after being such a suck-up just an episode or two before... He didn’t show a single sign of being a "bad boyfriend" in Bargaining. He seemed to really love Buffy late in season five, yet now all he seemed to do now was want her. Why the hell did he suddenly change in Smashed?... So what if he figured out his chip no longer worked on Buffy? Why would that change the way he acts towards her? Why did he suddenly become all evil again? Was Marti Noxon channeling some relationship gone bad from her own goddam past? I don’t know... all I know, is that while I loved the chemistry between Buffy and Spike in Smashed (and Wrecked... and Gone... and Dead Things... and the list goes on...), I just can’t say it helped the series as a whole... not after how it left both Spike and Buffy at the end of the season, but I’ll get to that much later on...

Smashed itself obviously wasn’t a great episode, next to the Spike and Buffy shenanigans... Dawn got to hang out with Tara. And Tara actually was endearing, with her whole speech about being there for Dawn and her big ass milkshake... Xander and Anya started their path to uselessness. With their engagement announcement out of the way, all they ever did was talk about the marriage. And while that led to interesting predictions about Martha Stewart (and correct ones too...), the two characters were just never the same... Willow got probably the largest part in the episode. She got to de-rat Amy, and the two had a go at the Bronze. And at first, the whole Willow magic thing was interesting, even though the lesbian that was magically called over just wasn’t my cup of tea, looks wise at least... But then the scene got absolutely stupid in the end, with floating apples and dancing idiots and cages... and sheep... real sheep... you can’t forget the sheep...

No, the episode was all about Buffy and Spike in the end. And in that sense at least, I did enjoy Smashed... I loved Spike’s badass choice of threatening the trio with the Boba Fett decapitation. And I didn’t mind the fact that Spike was ready to kill again, if only because the poor bastard in pain was ridiculously hilarious... And the phone call to Buffy? Aww, it’s a date!... a very pathetically set-up date, but does that really matter?... The poor bastard was wearing his wimpy blue collar again. And Buffy and him just looked so damn cute together when shagging... they were like holding hands to the music of her screams...

... yeah... I live vicariously through Spike... and softcore porn, apparently...

Now, Smashed isn’t the last decent episode in the sixth season. Hell, it’s not really that much of a decent episode in the first place... There wasn’t nearly enough comedy, except for the predictable yet gratifying rag on Giles... and the episode was definitely followed by a lot of season six horse-shit that all started from this episode on...

But in retrospect, I can’t really blame Smashed for that. Not with the Spike and Buffy and horny smashing love going on...

... mmm... Sarah Michelle Gellar was riveting... quite literally, actually...

... yup, can’t blame Smashed...

But I can definitely blame Wrecked...

... oh God, can I ever blame Wrecked...

6x10 – Wrecked

- the one where Willow becomes a junkie

Worst. Episode. Ever.

No, seriously. I mean it this time.

Worse than Bad Eggs. Worse than Reptile Boy. Worse than Beer Bad (although I kinda liked Beer Bad... but that’s besides the point...). Hell, even worse than the first season of Buffy...

Worst. Episode. Ever.

Seriously. Period... and I blame Marti Noxon for that...

Wrecked was just a complete wreck of an episode, and it’s not hard to see why... Willow had a great character arc going for her early in the season. She had fallen in love with her own power, bringing Buffy back without ever thinking of the consequences, and using magic whenever she could, simply because she could... She just went on a magic trip with Amy in the Bronze the other night. And although it was obvious from all the sheep and the floating fairies, that the two were using magic as a metaphor for being high or some crap like that, at least it was still a metaphor... And you see? That was good about the initial transformation to Dark Willow. The metaphors, I mean... it was all about the power, the theme that Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s been about since season four at least...

But then Marti Noxon just decides to write herself an episode that completely ruined whatever subtlety the Darth Rosenberg plotline had going for it... She beat us over the head with goddam sticks with her god-awful metaphors this episode... I mean, Willow wasn’t just a metaphorical junkie anymore. She really was a damn junkie, floating on the ceiling in a world of mushroom gaze... She no longer was innocent, nerdy Willow bent on superhero power. Now she was nerdy Willow, getting high on goddam magic that makes you feel bliss, from a character so brutally after-school special obvious that it simply wasn’t funny... This episode was about drugs. Period. It was all just so damn obvious that Marti Noxon should’ve been fired for her complacency... There was withdrawal from goddam magical Sage weed, hardcore showers in the morning, and even drinking and driving for God’s sake... Well, magical driving at least, but can the show get any more obvious?... Wrecked absolutely ruined the entire seasonal arc for Willow. And it never really picked up again until Seeing Red... until the fans saw red and demanded Marti’s head, but I digress...

Starting from Wrecked and all the way to Seeing Red, the Buffy writers were really in a depression... making us all depressed with their depression as well...

Worst. Character. Arc. Ever...

There was only one good scene in the entire episode. And obviously it belonged to Spike and Buffy... They just looked so adorable in the morning together. Buffy was glowing, especially as she whimpered out "Oh God" in the cutest of little noises... The two actors have such undeniable chemistry together, and I have such sick obsessions with blondes like Sarah Michelle Gellar, that I didn’t feel any loathing in the morning scene. I felt heat and passion, instead, with Buffy being seduced into the vampire’s arms and loving it... Now, I’ll never really get why Marti Noxon just didn’t give up on her bad boyfriend obsession of a complex, and realize that the new Spike wouldn’t ever make any jokes about "f-"ucking a Slayer (well, maybe he would... but it’d take more than just talking himself up to drink a person behind Buffy’s back in Smashed at least)... Still, even if Spike was a bit more cruel than he should’ve been, I still always laugh at poor defenseful Buffy, giving him a black eye at the sight of her untamed bra. I would’ve preferred if Spike kept the first memento though, but still...

Too bad every other character on the show absolutely sucked... Tara was in it for just a minute, with some lameass pancake nostalgia or something. And Dawn was annoying, keeping with the pancake tradition, and not being bright enough to know when she was in junkie ville. At least she got to slap Willow a new one though... Xander and Anya didn’t do much. What did Xander do anyhew? And Anya got to bring up valid points of Willow going over to the dark side, simply because we nerds seem to never get enough of our brooding block of wood mystique sort of thing. Or was that in the last episode? I already forget... And Spike and Buffy separated just didn’t do any wonders either. Spike got to feel hurt from Buffy hiding her "blushing eyes", and Buffy got to look absolutely ridiculous, hanging garlic all over her room and stinking it up rather than just de-inviting Spike from her house... Even the Willow and Buffy conversation at the end couldn’t save this trainwreck of an episode. While I always laugh at the sight of poor Buffy, ignoring Willow for her own seductive pain and troubles, I just absolutely hate the speech that Willow gave. Does Marti Noxon really enjoy beating us over the head to death with ugly sticks with her goddam messages? We get it already. Sheesh...

Season six had a lot of episodes I loved. But an awful lot of episodes that absolutely sucked as well... and Wrecked definitely topped the list.

Such an appropriately named episode... Marti Noxon really doesn’t go for subtlety...

6x11 – Gone

- the one where Buffy turns invisible

Worst. Hair. Ever.

Buffy’s wig, I mean... and if that wasn’t a wig on her at the start? Then her hair-stylist really must have been wigging out on her. And probably got seriously fired too...

Now, I remember the internet claiming that Gone wasn’t an enjoyable episode back in the day. But I personally thought it was one of the better light-hearted episodes of the season, even if the idea wasn’t original... Buffy takes a day off from herself thanks to an invisibility ray. And even if the show seemed even more low-budget than a season one take, I still gotta admit that I chuckled at almost every scene in this episode...

Gone was the last episode where the Trio was actually funny. I don’t know who’s to blame for that... After Gone, none of the geeky characters were ever really played for laughs. The internet all chastised the writers for making villains that were completely non-threatening. But wasn’t that the point? To stray away from the same old formula, and give me guys that I could at least relate to?...

The Trio was already getting stale by Smashed. The only thing going for them in that episode was the lameass Mission Impossible statement, and the sight of the three freakin’ out at a decapitated Boba Fett figure... In Gone, the three characters were back to being ridiculously funny though. Warren proved to be the geeky yet imaginative threat once again, adding an invisibility gun to his list of skank bots, flame-throwers, freeze rays, rocket-packs, Mac-sponsored surveillance vans, and of course, the ever popular exploding lint... The "blinvisibility" ray gun didn’t amount to much in the end though. Phase 2 was pretty much a bust I think... But how could I not enjoy an episode, where Jonathan gets to swing around in a transparent chair? Or where CG spray-painted pylons look cool as hell. Or where Dead or Alive, as bad as that game is, makes an appearance and kicks Andrew’s ass?... The big finish may have been the cheapest, most inexpensive battle scene that the show has ever filmed. But Jonathan hiding his voice, and Buffy of course not recognizing Andrew (who might I add, I tried looking up in all the past seasons, only to realize he never existed... Tucker’s brother and not the Tom Lenk vampire, I mean...), were actually some of the highlights of the entire season for me... "Arch-nemisisees"? Buffy getting tongue-tied? What can I say? I’m a geek. I have a thing for geeks. I guess it takes one to know one...

I just wish the Trio had stayed true to their roots, even after all the fans complained... I wish I just knew whether the writers chose to make them boring in the end, or whether they bowed to unforeseen pressures like they did with certain other running sub-plots in the past... Riley for example, as he was...

None of the supporting characters really had much to do in Gone. They were pretty much invisible themselves, actually... Anya got to seat Buffy at table 4. And Xander at least got a ridiculously hilarious scene, of Spike doing naked "exercise" on his bed to the sounds of a lovely girl moaning. I’m with Xander - I think Spike needs a girlfriend too... Dawn only got to whine and whine about the stupidest things. So what if Buffy wasn’t really there for her? What happened to showing concern for the girl ripped out of heaven?... And Willow? Well, her character arc of going cold turkey really went nowhere in the series. But at least she was still funny rather than depressing this episode. Teasing herself with book telekinesis, and saving Buffy from a bunch of evil nerds with an even more evil leader, was at least a hell of a lot better than any sort of crap that happened in Wrecked... And Spike’s chemistry, even with an invisible Buffy, was there yet again. This was possibly the only episode where bad boyfriend Spike showed his former poet’s love for the Slayer, actually kicking her out because she was only there because she wasn’t herself. And of course I’d love an episode, where the two of them make love right in front of their friends... and hell’s bells, the "lighter" scene still turns me on, macking on Buffy. If only I had that kind of control over a woman... if only...

... well, a woman wearing a good wig at least...

Goldilocks, eh?... Seriously. Worst. Hair. Ever...

Buffy, even if Sarah Michelle Gellar didn’t play the invisible part, was just amusing to me. Kicking the can after being kicked out by Spike was precious. And the hat she threw out in the garbage was hideous... Even though her hair was much more adorable before, I still found it cute that all the other girls cared more about her cut than her utter death and disintegration in the end... And the scene with the "killer mug" at the social services office? C’mon, who hasn’t wanted to play with a person’s mind like that. Besides Tabula Rasa, at least... And her lameass fight in the arcade with the nerds? Even without the fists, I still loved the comedy. She really kicked their asses, with air hockey pucks for crying out loud... And as a geek? As long as no good arcades were harmed in the making of the film (Dead or Alive sucks, so it doesn’t count), then it’s no wonder why I was charmed and swept away with the wind by Gone...

The internet may not have liked this episode. But I found the innocent, light-hearted humour to be a welcome change of pace... and the last change of pace, actually... From this point on, the geeks became annoying, Willow became her old boring self, Xander and Anya ruined their characters, and, well... at least Buffy still got to nibble at Spike’s ear...

Gone was the last actually funny episode in the season... it may not have been the best episode of the season. But as soon as this episode was done, the humour was gone from season six... and that’s gotta be worth something...

... yes, even with the bad hair...

6x12 – Doublemeat Palace

- the one where Buffy goes to work at Doublemeat Palace

Worst. Episode. Ever.

... or so most of the sane population out there claims...

This season sure as hell had a lot of those... worst episodes ever, I mean... Now, I’ll be the first to admit that the quality of season six episodes are sketchy at best. While shows like Once More With Feeling, Life Serial, Dead Things, and even Gone were pretty decent in their own right, the season is still stock full of god-awful hours like Wrecked, Hell’s Bells, and Doublemeat Palace... or so the people claim...

The truth is, I kinda liked Doublemeat Palace... It completely feels out of place in the series, almost as if dear Marti Noxon just wanted a fast food episode to fill Joss Whedon’s first season check list of bad episodes to do... And the episode deals with that certain circle of stupidity, in which a show can be so damn bad that it actually turns out to be funny in the end... Now I admit, I think I fell asleep the first time I watched Doublemeat Palace. But wasn’t that the point? That staring at identical chicken slices, pickle slices, and zombie grill workers was the kind of pain Buffy would have to endure at the work of real life? Fluorescent lights are demonic afterall...

Yeah, I can give the whole big speech again, that Buffy was an idiot for not even asking The Watcher’s Council for pay. And even though she has morals and everything, couldn’t she have at least bribed the new manager at the end to give her a raise? I mean, how the hell is she supposed to pay for a house and her infinite clothes with minimum wage?... And oh boy, did Doublemeat Palace bore me to tears at times. I never thought Buffy having sex with Spike could turn me off. And it didn’t, since I was still somehow turned on. But it just wasn’t the same without the panting and the sweating... And all the other characters were just plain nauseating. Xander was hilarious when eating the human burger. Guess he just doesn’t know when to clasp his chomp. But I really didn’t care for his fiancee, as all Anya did was suffer the "hmm" act from Halrek all episode long... Dawn got to be annoying yet again. I forget what she did, but I’m sure it was annoying... And Willow? Well, she actually did real science for once, which would get a plus from me if it wasn’t goddam chemistry. And she did save Buffy in the end, after strangely using the drive-in speaker as a walkie talkie. I suppose she should also get gold stars for kicking Amy out of her life, but I really didn’t care for that, so... except for Xander’s love for minced Sleepless in Seattle Medleys, there wasn’t much to report.

The entire episode belonged to Buffy. And finally, her new hair do did look adorable... as soon as she donned a cow and a chicken on her head... She felt like a tool, and definitely looked like one. But she was actually cute in the hat. I’ve always had a thing for girls in hats... And just the raw stupid, mundanity of the episode was ironically interesting in the end... We’ve all wondered what’s in the food at places we eat. And hell, being Chinese, I even suspect I’m eating cat burgers at lunches at times (not that I really care... kitten currency and all...)... Almost every scene at Doublemeat Palace was almost ridiculously dumb, with Manny the Manager getting eaten by an Alien chest-burster of all things. And with Buffy looking turned on by a giant, paralyzing evil snake... but I don’t know... maybe the human flesh burgers just made me hungry or something? Or maybe Buffy herself, covered in grease, gave me cravings? I just don’t know...

All I do know, is that as bad as Doublemeat Palace was... I still sort of liked it...

Yeah. I know. I’m sick... so how about...

Stupidest. Episode. Ever.

... although this season sure as hell has a lot of those too...

6x13 – Dead Things

- the one where the Trio kills Katrina

I didn’t really like Dead Things the first time I watched it. It felt dead to me, because the Trio felt dead... Thanks to either the writers or the fans, they just weren’t amusing anymore. Even their lightsabre duel felt off, because everything about them just felt too damn serious that they literally weren’t funny anymore...

Guess that was the point though. Which is why I enjoyed the episode the second and third times I watched it... I may miss the light-hearted Trio from Flooded and Life Serial. But the season was about facing life, and the nerds just had to face the fact that they were crime-lords sometime... Warren took a turn for the dark side of the force, killing the girl he loved and barely flinching an eye. Instead of taking the consequences, he heaped the burden on someone else... Jonathan had wanted hot chicks the entire season, and finally made the cerebral dampener he dreamed of on the Big Board. But when he finally got his wish, life didn’t exactly turn out like he planned. And in panic, he just followed Warren’s lead, placing the magical, time wonkiness blame on someone else... And that was what the whole season was about, wasn’t it? Taking responsibility, and what it means to be a grown-up... Now, it’s kind of god-awful that Buffy would be put into these kinds of Troublemeat trials and tribulations at just the tender age of 21 (story-wise at least...). And it sucks that Jonathan just wasn’t interesting anymore, because of the never-ending story of guilt and all... but I guess the season had to grow up sometime...

... too bad it never did...

... note to Joss (and all media moguls of the modern age)... dark and broody does not equal mature...

Dead Things felt dead to me the first time I watched it, probably because all of the supporting cast members simply felt like things... Dawn finally got some lines, but God were they ever annoying. Did she feel bad that Buffy killed an innocent at all? Instead, all she did was whine and run away, claiming and clawing that Buffy wasn’t there for her anyhew... Did Xander do anything except pull a jive muscle? Did Anya? Did Willow? Damn, none of the characters were memorable this episode... Tara finally made her way back though. And strangely enough, being outside of the Willow tree, she was oddly tolerable. And wise too. Buffy confided in her about coming back wrong. And maybe I just liked the Tara scenes then, because they indirectly dealt with Spike and all, but still... I actually liked Tara scenes for once... even without any singing...

The episode, just like almost every other single episode in the season, dealt completely with Spike and Buffy. And I just can’t complain... Their carpet conversation was simply heart-warming. And you gotta love the fact that they always miss the bed... Calling Buffy an "animal" was a bit too much. But damn, I wish Buffy’s legs wouldn’t work when I’m under the covers with her... She was glowing this episode. She actually looked happy, and satisfied. How the heck Sarah Michelle Gellar could look so satisfied on set, I will never know... And every scene she had with Spike was absolutely seductive... Sure, the bad boyfriend complex became a little too overtly annoying with his whole, "you’re a creature of the dark" thing in the Bronze for the umpteenth time. Sure, I got off on Buffy getting off behind her friend’s backs, but Spike just didn’t feel right that scene... And then there was the good ol’ fashioned beating by the police station. Poor Spike couldn’t even hide a body right for thirty minutes, and then deservingly got the beating of a lifetime... To be honest, I really didn’t find Spike to be a "bad boyfriend" this episode. I found Buffy to be a bad girlfriend instead, hurting the one who loves her, because she just couldn’t love herself...

Although, umm... that was probably the whole point... but I’ll get into that in my As You Were review later on...

Now, I know this was the whole point of the season, with Buffy coming back from the grave and all. But with all her post-postmortem comedy now missing in action, her character simply had no chemistry with anyone but Spike in the season... But she tried to make a scene with Tara at the end. And although I laughed like a hyena the first time I watched Buffy, begging that she was wrong, I still gotta admit that her tears were powerfully on queue... I found her speech to kinda echo Faith’s back in season four rather hauntingly. And it kind of made me sob, in between all the tears of hilarity at least... Spike loved her. And she cared. But she didn’t want to care. She didn’t want to care about him... I know why she kept letting Spike in. Besides the horniness factor and all... But why wouldn’t she just let herself love Spike already? Because she can’t trust him? Because he’s a vampire and killed thousands of families in his time? Who hasn’t on the show?...

Dead Things was the turning point for a lot of characters... The Trio committed murder, after realizing that they were committing rape as well. And Buffy realized that she didn’t come back wrong. She just came back grown-up, that’s all... Now on paper, I’m sure these parallel plotlines of "Life is the Big Bad" looked great. But on the real show itself, even if I did think Dead Things was a well designed episode the second time through, the whole of the season just didn’t work out...

The feel of the second half of the season just felt dead to me. The only time I ever felt anything, was whenever Spike and Buffy were together... touched by their touching... under the carpets, snuggling their bits and pieces... which is probably the only reason why I actually liked this episode in the end...

6x14 – Older and Faraway

- the one where Dawn makes a wish on Buffy’s birthday

Okay, I won’t go on my broken record of a tangent, and call Older and Faraway the worst episode ever...

I mean, at least the first third of the episode was alright... I love it every time Spike gets jealous, going all lumpy forehead on the guy with the car. And Tara was actually endearing this episode, mocking and making sure that the cramp in Spike’s pants was alright by the poker table... And just the whole happiness part of the first birthday night was nice. Sure, the music playing in the background was god-awful, but Anya finally got to dominate in board games again. And Buffy looked absolutely adorable, confiding in Tara and then leaving her alone with Willow...

... well, the first part of the episode was alright... So not the worst episode ever...

... so how about... Worst. Dawn. Episode. Ever?... and considering how damn annoying Dawn was throughout the sixth season (All the Way definitely included), that’s saying a hell of a lot...

WTF was wrong with Dawn this episode? Even when people were dying, even when there was no hope of getting out of the house with magic, all she did was complain that Buffy was ignoring her. I mean, what’s her problem? Buffy died for her, and all she does is go clepto and whine?... I’m sorry, but Michelle Trachtenberg was just unbearable this episode. She just can't act serious, and she couldn’t even act terrified when she realized that wish that she had made... Her character all season long had been wasted. I mean, who’s bright idea was it to make Dawn a terrible two all over again?... I get it, that a girl her age has a ton of unbridled angst. But back in Buffy season one, that was all done and shown through metaphors. And yet now we’re stuck with Dawn literally going clepto, stealing birthday gifts for Buffy, and not even caring when a wish goes awry? What the hell is wrong with her?... what the hell is wrong with the writers?...

... and WTF was up with that god-awful thing that Buffy was wearing?...

Buffy birthday episodes always have a bit of anticipation to them. Afterall, in season two her heart was broken along with Angel’s curse. And in season three, the show returned to its horror roots with a psycho vampire and weakling slayer... And while season four went kind of lame, with Giles turning into a demon and nothing more, at least season five brought things back into the real birthday mix of things. Dawn cutting herself up is always somehow gratifying in the end...

But in Older and Faraway? Did anything actually meaningful happen? So what if Buffy had to play poker with Spike? So what if a demon clipped Clem?... none of the characters had much to do either... Anya just went psychotically claustrophobic. While it was appropriate that she would finally feel the short end of a vengeance curse, she really was just as annoying as Dawn. Until she went all Rambo on the demon at the end at least... Xander was even more invisible, just doing the protective thing of his girlfriend and all... Willow got to feel all down and depressed about keeping some magic supplies there. But at least she got to connect with Tara again... And Tara? I really hate to say this, but she was ironically probably the only character I liked in this episode. Every time she messed with Spike’s mind, I would snicker. I’ve never laughed at Tara’s jokes before, but I just have a thing for Spike and Buffy, of course...

The Spike and Buffy and Richard, and maybe even Sophie, love triangle was the only thing that kept this episode from the bottom of the barrel. And I suppose it’s always a plus, to wonder how Cecily could ever become a Vengeance demon in the first place (or how Spike could recognize her under all that awful make-up)...

Still, even for a Dawn episode, this episode was pretty damn low. And that’s pretty damn sad... even in a season where every wish for a clever metaphor has seemingly gone bad...

6x15 – As You Were

- the one where Riley returns married

As You Were wasn’t a bad episode... but it wasn’t a good one either... and actually, it was kind of old skool Buffy in that sense, being both bad and good at the very same time. To end up neutral, I mean... as the show was before...

What made the episode entertaining to me, was obviously the patheticness that is Buffy’s life... Sarah Michelle Gellar is absolutely adorable, dragging around garbage and complaining about a cow on her hat. She just turns on me so much, ironing her clothes and signing the tunes to Doublemeat Palace jingles... And is that wrong of me? To be turned on, just as much by her outdoor grass stains as I do from her actual sex itself? I don’t really know... all I know, is that Sarah Michelle Gellar just looked absolutely precious under the covers, hiding from Riley in Spike’s crypt. I guess I just have a thing for girl’s with low self-esteem, you know... and girls that are incredibly hot and horny, but I digress...

The episode had a lot of flaws of course, namely with the other characters outside of the Buffy and Spike romance... Dawn wasn’t overly annoying, but it was weird how none of her clepto crap from the episode before was even mentioned... Willow got to play the petty best friend of the ex game, and that was cute at least. I loved her "what a bitch" complete turnaround, although that was really her only decent moment... And while I’ve felt the same way as Anya before, of listening to hellish traffic reports after seemingly dying in a traffic jam, I still gotta admit that both her and Xander were completely useless this episode as well. Xander’s obsession with photography choices was nice, but overall, his nervousness over the wedding just didn’t work out for me... And a dam? Sunnydale has a dam now to go along with the university and the damn airport? WTF?...

I’m not sure what to think of the return of Riley though... On the one hand, he still can’t enunciate. And because of that, even his big "hell of a woman" speech to Buffy fell flat (and ruined Spike’s speech a season later). And he really was an idiot at times, looking completely blank at not only the big revelation of his wife, but also from Buffy’s little wedding present... But on the other hand, hardcore Riley in this episode did have his moments. He had some rather clever lines, from "boys like toys", to calling Buffy in her Doublemeat uniform a "pylon". And even if his wife had almost no personality whatsoever, it was still a nice twist for the season, to contrast such a "perfect" (and nauseating) marriage with the crap that was going on in the characters’ lives... and at least his wedding bliss made Buffy come crawling back to Spike. Sure, she was desperate, but it really seemed she loved him in her eyes... and that was the problem I think...

She really did love Spike, in my interpretation at least. She couldn’t accept, she just couldn’t believe she loved Spike. And the whole doctor thing proved to her, that it was wrong to love Spike... he can’t be trusted... and for that, I can’t help but blame goddam Marti Noxon and her goddam "bad boyfriend" obsession. I mean, yes Spike is evil... and yes, as the "doctor", he was probably going to ruin a lot of lives... But c’mon already, Marti! For half of season 5 and half of season 6, Spike was more of a good natured guy than Angel ever was. He was not a bad boyfriend before he became a boyfriend... And although I did love the dialogue in the break-up scene (I wouldn’t complain about being used for five hours straight either...), I still have to admit, that Marti Noxon and this episode pretty much disgusted me... Buffy hates herself. And she hates the fact that she loves Spike. That’s true... But did Marti really have to stress the whole, "Spike is evil, and suddenly does evil things again now that he’s with Buffy" sort of crap? Did she really have to make him a bad boyfriend, after all that had he done that was good?

The fans did really complain in season five, how Spike was defying the laws of evil and what it means to be soulless... and in the end, in season seven at least, I do feel that some of the bad boyfriend crap was made up for with love... But for the most part, I both love and hate As You Were. It was decently entertaining at most times, and it was nice to see Riley back without all the prostitute angst... but the episode was also absolutely goddam woeful in god-awful seasonal arcs of plotlines as well...

So... sort of like an old skool Buffy episode then?... I see... as they were before...

6x16 – Hell’s Bells

- the one where Xander and Anya have their wedding

Worst. Episode. Ever.

... thank God it was also the last worst episode ever of the season...

Where do I even start with this episode?... I mean, what the fuck were the writers thinking this season?

I know I’ve complained a lot about the boring routine that went on between Anya and Xander this season. While at least I loved the conflict between the two when it came to their engagement announcement, I just couldn’t find any real interest in their wedding planning. And I also completely know, that marrying a couple on television is often the doomsday of the television series. I know all this crap... and I’m sure the writers did too, but...

Joss Whedon keeps claiming that we, as an audience, are in love with pain and misery. And that’s true, to some extent... But has he completely lost it? Has he completely forgotten what made the second, third, and fifth seasons so memorable to audiences? Doesn’t he remember that misery and pain are only effective, when it’s completely contrasted against happiness on screen?... No matter what happened between Angel and Buffy in season 2, there was still the Willow, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia crap to keep us company. No matter what happened between Angel and Buffy yet again in season 3, at least Willow and maybe even Giles with Joyce was still there... And no matter what kind of crap Buffy went through with Dawn in season five, once again Willow and her lovely lesbianism held down the fort... But perhaps most importantly, the one couple that truly brought the happiness to the series, and the contrast desperately needed to make the misery memorable... was the loving bond between Xander and Anya.

Hell, they were probably the only thing keeping season six together up to this point... so no wonder Joss Whedon tore them apart... he really is running out of ideas...

Let’s face it. I laughed at just how bad the wedding ceremony was in this episode... I understand partially why the two never got hitched. Xander got to go back to being the wisecracker, and Anya got to have a whole vengeance demon arc. But none of this lasted. It all ended by Selfless of season 7... and while that episode was great, everything else that Xander and Anya had for the rest of the Buffy series was complete crap. This episode not only ruined their relationship, but ruined their characters as well. And without any happiness anywhere in the season six Buffyverse to compensate, it’s no wonder why I just couldn’t care less at what happened at the altar...

Nice work, Joss. Nice work indeed...

Anya at least had her fair share of moments in Hell’s Bells. Her vows were always interesting to hear, and she just looked so damn happy when squealing that she gets to spend the rest of her life with her best friend... But like always, Emma Caulfield just doesn’t do serious acting very well. And while I did feel bad for the poor gal when she was walking down that aisle alone, I couldn’t help but ball out laughing as well... And Xander certainly didn’t help things. I mean, how stupid of an ass could he be? Yes, I realize he was getting cold feet. But how the hell could he not realize what he would lose, by leaving Anya at the altar, until his big speech the next episode at least... His nervousness about his married life had been his running arc since the start of the season, so I can’t say his dear departure this episode came out of nowhere. And I agree, that it’s probably in the character’s nature, to sincerely hope he never becomes his parents... But Nicolas Brendon just doesn’t do seriousness very well either. He just seems morbid and boring at best... and absolutely stupid in his speech to Anya, about not being ready... even if that kind of stupidity does happen in reality...

... life is the big bad... but it really sucks when Buffy becomes a reality show... and a lame one at that...

This episode had a hell of a lot of things going against it. While some of that is my own personal bias bleeding through (I personally thought the two should’ve gotten hitched, for some sort of safety blanket on the show), a lot of it was just plain goddam bad writing... I mean, who’s bright idea was it to actually show the Xander parents on screen? Sure, the uncle and aunt were alright, since we hadn’t hear much from them before... But by seeing the Xander parents, and realizing that they weren’t nearly as bad as sound effects made them out to be before? Didn’t the writers learn anything from the Frasier wedding?... It’s just sad that not only did the writers completely ruin two perfectly invisible characters... but couldn’t even make them seem funny in the one episode they actually did show up in...

The only thing I did enjoy about Hell’s Bells, was the Buffy and Spike dynamic once more... This was probably the last time in the entire season that Spike actually felt concerned for Buffy’s feelings. And his plan to bring a date and get Buffy jealous was just priceless in the end... And even so, even after intentionally hurting her, he still had the soulfulness to be happy for Buffy, because she was happy. She was glowing, even... And Sarah Michelle Gellar was glowing, even in that hideous dress of hers... I loved how weepy she got when stringing up Xander’s tie. And the charades? The juggling?... probably provided the only decent comic relief in the entire episode... although Willow and Tara got to snicker at the Anya vows. And wear god-awful dresses as well (though somehow, I still found Buffy hot in hers... go figure...). At least that was something...

Buffy was cute this episode. And Spike spent his last flask of humanity of the season... But besides that, all that’s left is an episode so damn bad, and so damn piss poor of a turning point for the series, that the title of "Hell’s Bells" couldn’t have been more appropriate...

Honestly, what the fuck was Joss Whedon thinking?... maybe he loves writing pain and misery... but he’s obviously forgotten the formula, that made Buffy the Vampire Slayer the queen of the writingverse in the first place...

6x17 – Normal Again

- the one where Buffy thinks she’s in a mental institution

Ah, Normal Again... perhaps the most infamous Buffy episode of all time...

I still remember the massive backlash against this episode, the first time it aired... Hell, I think petitions were signed against it. I think I even recall forums getting up in arms, demanding that the writers come clean about this tragedy... and all I could do in the background, lurking in the online shadows, was smile a solemn and very sick smile...

I loved this episode. Hell, it’s one of my favourite episodes of all time...

And it would be my absolute favourite episode of the entire sixth season, if only Once More, With Feeling didn’t have songs that stuck in my head for two whole bloody hell years...

Now, it’s no secret that I’m a wannabe psychologist. I’ve always been fascinated by the human mind, and especially with schizophrenia, after I first heard that A Beautiful Mind was being filmed... And because of that, it’s probably no wonder why I absolutely adored Normal Again. It’s really the one episode next to the musical, that the writers really proved their worth this season... I can’t help but simply admire their novel explanations to the Buffyverse mythos... That Buffy had been in a mental institute for the last six years. That Dawn was simply a rewriting of her schizophrenic memories. That her mind was failing to create new illusions to give her comfort from reality. And that her "death" last season, that her time in heaven, was really just a rude awakening back into the world of her parents...

The fans had a field day with this episode. Hell, they probably would’ve had rallies against it, if the fans hadn’t already abandoned television and the show in droves... And maybe part of that, was because the episode was so damn good, and so damn intellectual, that it didn’t just convince Buffy that her universe was a dream. Maybe it convinced some fans out there as well... It was so lovely to see Kristine Sutherland back as Joyce. And that was what really made this episode. Her warmth, her kindness, and her tender care of Buffy really made you wish that Buffy could stay in her institute of a dementia... Joyce did nothing wrong, except love her daughter. Her father did nothing wrong, except care for the first time on the show. The doctor did nothing wrong, and even went as far as being bathed in the blue "real" light from The Matrix... And the whole idea, of Buffy’s world being undifferentiated schizophrenia? Not only was the whole case so damn convincing, but having the final scene of the episode show "real" Buffy in a catatonic state? For us to have to see her mother in tears?...

... last impressions really... umm... last... I guess... and I couldn’t get enough of it...

Sarah Michelle Gellar really put in her best damn performance of the season, arguably even approaching the effort she achieved in Once More, With Feeling... Just the single tear stroking down her face, when sharing with Willow her two weeks in a mental institution? How could you not feel bad for Buffy? She looked so torn up. She looked so closed. She looked so scared. She looked so real... And her performances in the mental ward? Give her an Oscar, goddammit. Because she really did look confused. She really did look lost. And the way she would stare at her mother? The way she would touch herself as she slid against the wall? The way she would cry in helplessness?... I really felt bad for Buffy. I really did. She didn’t know what to do. The Slayer didn’t know what to do, and it all completely showed. It all completely showed, thanks to Sarah Michelle Gellar.

... plus, it helped that she really turned me on in the mental ward... guess I have a thing for girls in hospital clothes, to go along with my other fetishes I see...

Now, no other character even remotely came close to touching Buffy’s performance this episode. But everyone played their parts... Dawn was surprisingly not annoying. At least she did have a good reason to go all angsty this episode, remembering that she wasn’t really Buffy’s season and all. And at least finally the little bit got what was coming to her, with a Buffy beat down and all... Willow got to feel all torn up about Tara. I didn’t care about that, but I did have some fun watching her beat on a demon with a baseball bat... Tara herself came to the rescue, using more magic than I thought she ever had. She didn’t do much, but still, oddly enough after her jokes in Older and Faraway, she really did kind of grow on me... And Xander? I couldn’t care much for his guilt trip speech, considering I still blame Joss Whedon for breaking the wedding up. But comic Xander made a return, and I simply loved his lameass attempt at punning over the demon’s capture... And Spike? Well, the writers went back to their ol’ "bad boyfriend" syndrome again. The Spike we all know would’ve been all concerned for hallucinating Buffy, even after she dumped him. But instead, Normal Again’s Spike ripped into her with nothing but pain and a private world of hell. I still enjoyed Spike, for his rivalry with Xander, but he just didn’t treat Buffy right. And for that, the writers are definitely to blame...

The episode was all about Buffy though. And if the fans would just look at the performance that Sarah Michelle Gellar gave, then I don’t honestly see how the hell they could ever hate this episode... Sure, I realize that Buffy fans are just as disillusioned as we Trekkies will ever be. And for their bubble to be burst? For their own schizophrenic dreams to be torn apart in two?... Normal Again managed to explain away almost every single thing in the Buffyverse, better than even magic could ever do. And thus, some forum fanatics even claimed Normal Again was mocking their love for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They took this episode personally... they took it to heart...

... and normally, I’d just write yet another pointless rant about the fans over that... but in this case?...

... taking it to heart... for their beliefs and values to be tested... for their fantasies and ideals to be challenged...

... for reality to sink in?...

... umm... that was sort of the point...

... to feel normal again, if only for a moment...

6x18 – Entropy

- the one where Spike sleeps with Anya

Not many good things came from the Anya and Xander break-up... In retrospect, their ruined wedding led to the complete ruination of their characters as well, season seven especially included. But there were a few things that did turn out decent between the two of them... for the show at least...

Selfless was one of them. And Entropy was the other...

Entropy was by far the best Anya performance of the entire season, except for Once More, With Feeling of course... Emma Caulfield found that perfect blend of seriousness, comedy, and coffee that defined her character so damn well in earlier seasons... I never get bored of her attempts to trick the Scoobies into wishing Xander was magically maimed. And I especially get a kick out of her whole lesbian angle at the coffee shop. I’m a guy, you know... And when it came to the grand finale, Emma Caulfield really put on a grand performance. She may have had no chemistry with Spike, but she really did seem desperate, to stop the pain and fear that Xander never really loved her in the first place... She grew a lot as a character this episode. She started out as a vengeance demon, and ended off as a vengeance demon. But as a vengeance demon who felt bad about the pain and suffering she had caused... Emma Caulfield put in a wonderful performance as both the victim and the not-exactly-a-victim. She made a big mistake, and you can’t help but feel sorry for her...

Now, Xander wasn’t the absolute best this episode, considering he didn’t provide much comic relief... But in all seriousness, Nicolas Brendon did a great job as well. I loved his groveling to Anya in his apartment, especially when he realized he was being a jackass again... You gotta feel bad for the guy, axe sporting and all, after seeing what happened in the Magic Box... And I just snicker each and every time he mentions how disgusting Anya must be for sleeping with Spike. Inside jokes are always fun, but the look on Buffy’s face was even more priceless...

The Buffy and Spike relationship took second fiddle this episode, but it really came out strong in the end... Spike made a huge mistake. He hurt the woman he loved, simply because he couldn’t bear the pain anymore. And that made him human. Cruel, but human... He didn’t have much chemistry with Anya, but he still was ever the sweet talker. And I couldn’t help but feel for the poor guy when Buffy told him to move on. He doesn’t normally force Buffy to leave like that, but you can’t really blame him in that instance... Buffy herself was a bit of a paradox this episode. She seemed so calm and sure of herself when she rejected William in his crypt, almost to the point that even I believed she didn’t really have feelings for Spike... and then came the look on her face, when she saw him with Anya. I do have a problem with that scene, since Sarah Michelle Gellar looked hurt, but not devastated... I’d rather interpret it, as Buffy does love Spike, but just wasn’t surprised at what he was doing... or was she as well? It’s hard to tell. Even when she was confiding in Dawn later on, she still wasn’t clear on how she felt... she never was clear in the series... but it’s enough to make a guy think...

And then came the other relationship... Willow and Tara did bug me again this episode. I thought their re-romance was just flung together far too openly, and far too annoyingly for me to ever deal. Their relationship is simply too damn girlie for me to endure on screen. I’ve always hated how damn serious their lesbianism is taken, by both the writers and the fans, just like I couldn’t stand the Buffy and Angel angst back in season two... but I will admit, I couldn’t help but feel happy for Willow and Tara as well this episode... Willow will always bug me, for somehow being able to hack through firewalls and encryption codes within seconds. But when her lesbianism becomes the bunt of jokes, like it was with Anya at the coffee shop? Suddenly, her character finds meaning for me again... And Tara? Well, she didn’t provide any humour herself. But she gained a bit of respect from me, for earlier episodes where she was her own woman. And besides, even if I didn’t like how sudden their reconciliation was this episode, at least it makes me smile, knowing what the writers had in store...

... four years in the making... four years in the waiting...

Entropy had every single character contributing something... Dawn was actually entertaining for once. She couldn’t pull off the big speech, about wanting to follow Buffy out on patrols (although Buffy was cute as hell when saying no...). But at least finally, Dawn’s clepto thing came back to haunt her, in humorous form no less. And Buffy finally did confide in her, even if she wasn’t ever clear about how she felt... And the Trio? Warren didn’t do much, and Jonathan just set up himself to be betrayed. But Entropy will always hold a soft spot in my heart, for finally bringing Andrew into the little limelight... Here’s where his fascination with Spike finally appeared. And it was due time too... Andrew was just the meaningless third guy for most the season. But from this episode and on, he actually became worthy of joining the cast of the show. And thank God he did in the seventh season, or everything but the Spike and Buffy romance would’ve rolled my eyes to first evil hell...

Entropy had an appropriate name, of all things essentially moving towards friction and chaos... I’m a science geek, so obviously I’d have a thing for a scientific sort of name...

Not many decent things came from the Anya and Xander break-up, but Entropy at least was one of them... Every single character put on a heck of a show. I mean, you couldn’t help but feel bad for Buffy and Xander, when their ex’s got it on right in front of their eyes... While the events of Entropy led to crap that almost ruined every single character on the series, the episode itself was still one of the best of the season.

What can I say? I did a science fair experiment on entropy... and suffice to say, Entropy ended with a hell of a bang...

6x19 – Seeing Red

- the one where Tara dies...

Seeing Red is definitely an episode that most people don’t see eye and eye to... But as for me? I really don’t know what to say about it...

It was one of the first episodes I ever reviewed for my noname site. And my opinion of it still stands... While woman may pummel in the face for this, I actually didn’t mind the rape scene. At all. Hell, I even thought it wasn’t bad to air, storytelling-wise at least... I mean, in a world of television where murder and torture are common place and even revered, why the hell would rape be so bad? That was my opinion back then. And while this certainly wouldn’t garner me much of a fan club today, it pretty much is still my opinion now... I just don’t really get why the fans of the series hated that one scene of the show so damn much...

But they did. And that’s all that counts... People even wrote to Joss Whedon, claiming that they’d never watch the show again, because the rape scene gave them nightmares. For some, it even brought back horrid memories they had desperately tried to forget... and I get that at least... Sure, I may rather think in my mind, ‘why air murder and torture then, when murders scar people in reality too’? But the fact of the matter is, this episode did scar some people out there. It doesn’t matter who. The television world just doesn’t seem ready for rape... Hell, in high school I was considered a sissy for never ever saying any of the hundreds of swear words that everyone around always said so callously. But as soon as I used the word "rape", just once... people ignored me... people just turned away from me... people shook their heads at me... and why?... I guess it doesn’t really matter why...

... fuck...

... the fact of the matter is... they just did... they see red... all they ever see is red... why?... they just do... it doesn’t really matter why...

Rape is one of the most sensitive topics in all of North America, so it’s no bloody hell wonder why Marti Noxon decided to add it in with her goddam "bad boyfriend" syndrome... In season five, the writers had a problem: Spike was being all noble and loving and all, and it defied all the rules that vampires were supposed to follow. People started questioning, why the hell can Buffy massacre all these sentient beings then, without a single thought of guilt, when if they’re all like Spike, they’re capable of good and love?... So Marti Noxon decided to channel some of her own vengeance wrath through her season six writing. And what did we get in return?... The ever loving Spike of season five, became as asshole (literally) to Buffy for most of season six... and a rapist... a bloody hell rapist, to the point where fans actually rallied to have Spike staked and off the show...

... yeah, nice fucking job, Marti...

The fact of the matter is, Seeing Red’s only real flaw to me, was the whole one-sided deal with Spike... He felt pain, and he feels guilt over what he did with Anya. And in his anguish, and all his evilness, he tried to rape Buffy... And after that? Back in his crypt, at least the writers had the decency to make Spike traumatized with what he did. He really did hate himself then and there, the kind of way that you’d only expect from a person with a soul... and I would’ve been alright with that, since I honestly can’t see how rape is worse than murder... But of course, that’s where Marti Noxon steps in with her big ol’ bad boyfriend plans. And was it just me, or was it just utterly re-goddam-diculous, just how damn dumb and unnecessarily evil Spike was when leaving Sunnydale? I mean, WTF? What the fuck was with the god-awful misdirection? Why the hell did the writers want us to hate Spike, to make us think that he was going to get his chip removed?... After watching season seven, and fully knowing that Spike willingly left to get his soul back, the so-called misdirection of the goddam bad-boyfriend obsession is just so painfully brutal and completely moronic to bear witness to, that it hurts the brain to even think about it... WTF were the writers thinking? If they wanted to give back Spike’s soul, if they actually intended him to want nothing else than to be the man Buffy needs, then stop fucking around with trying to make him seem all evil again... It may have looked good on paper, it may have seemed SMRT in the backs of their loony minds, and it may have made Marti Noxon smirk about whatever asshole plugged her asshole in the past... but it just fucking looks so unquestionably ridiculous and goddam pointless in retrospect... it just makes the writers look so damn clueless, that it’s simply not even funny to think about anymore...

... and, umm... hmm... a bit over the top, wasn’t I?... though with that psychotic tangent in check, I might as well admit that I did enjoy the rest of Seeing Red... or at least found it memorable enough to be more than notable...

Dawn finally nailed a scene, telling Spike how much he hurt Buffy. Buffy’s sister doesn’t normally actually manage through a scene without making me roll my eyes even once, but she managed it this time. She may have liked Spike, but she liked her sister more. And the sisterly bond showed... and hell, her spunkiness was even infectious when she saw Willow and Tara back together. But I’ll get into that a little later... Anyhew, Anya wasn’t used much, although I loved the fact that she kept missing wishes, thanks to the inevitable talking to yourself after a big ol’ mistake... Xander was the annoying character this episode. Once again, he didn’t catch Buffy a break when it came to her coming back from heaven. But you can’t really blame the guy, considering all he’s been through. And I just can’t hate a guy, who can read Klingon poetry from afar... He was also the one who found Buffy after the attempted rape. And from that scene on, his character found its bearings again. His speech on the lawn bench may have been sappy, but it was nicely ironic considering what was going to happen to Buffy the moment after...

Jonathan got to play the hero, helping Buffy in the end. And Andrew got some of his best lines of the season, all upset that Warren never really loved "hanging out with us". And besides, I can’t hate a character that cites my hero, Captain Picard... But ah, Warren. The real villain of season six... He was seriously underutilized throughout the year, most likely thanks to fans who despised the Trio. And I can’t say the idea of getting new orbs to become a "real man" was the most original idea on the planet. But he did do a couple things this episode that counted... Finally, I could identify with him for the first time since Life Serial, the way he simply got a bit of payback for all those crying shames in high school gym class. Reminds me of my own past, actually... And then came the real kicker. Just like he was willing to rape Katrina, he was willing to rape the girl the guy was with, simply out of revenge. High school insecurities turned him into a killer, and he proved it all with the gun... When this episode first aired, I just thought, thank God a gun was finally effective in the goddam Buffy series for once. I didn’t really think of the victims though... I didn’t really think how the online community would react...

Tara’s death. People still cry and spill milk over it, I think... And I’ll be honest. As cruel as this may sound, I actually laugh like a joyful jellybean of a hyena every single damn time Tara finally bites the dust... I’ve never really liked her character, simply because I’ve never liked the sappy lesbian romance she had going with Willow... but I’ll also admit, that in the midst of all my sneering, there was a sob or two for Willow... Their romance in Seeing Red was just so one-dimensional and just so damn fluttery that I couldn’t really stand it if Tara didn’t leave. But in the end, all the happiness these two shared in their stark nakedness, really made the ending feel that much more impressionable... This may sound dumb, but the only reason I laugh so hard every time Tara just magically gets a stray bullet right through the heart, is because it contrasts so damn much with her happiness just the scene before... that it’s somehow so damn funny, because you knew she would die as soon as she was happy again... I’ve been looking forward to the Tara death ever since the character was first introduced. Don’t ask me how I knew she’d die. I just knew... and it was finally time... and I enjoyed it...

... so yeah, the online community would really kick my ass and take my name if it could...

Seeing Red wasn’t the strongest of episodes. But it certainly left a lasting impression... Spike’s character would change for season seven. Buffy’s feelings for him would never be the same, for better or for worse... Tara would be gone for the series forever. And Willow would finally go back on her senseless path of destruction... Anya would become useless. Xander too, just like a real married couple... and the Buffy communities would never be the same either. If anyone ever read this review of mine, they’d kick my ass, make me marry Bob Dole, and have me raise killer penguins in Guam to eat my brains...

... as the actors later said, shooting the rape scene between Spike and Buffy was the hardest day of their professional lives... and to think, in all deep down honesty, I didn’t think they carried the scene far enough... and I sort of hate myself for that... I don’t feel human, because I simply don’t mind... shatter a glass in my hands, why don’t you...

But my impressions still stand. Even if nobody else can stand them... even if I can’t stand them... without seeing red, at least...

6x20 – Villains

- the one where Willow kills Warren

I’ve waited for this moment for four bloody years...

In season three, it was already obvious that Willow was heading to the dark side of the force. And I knew, I just knew as soon she first held hands with her in Hush, that Tara’s death would be the catalyst for Darth Willow... For four years I waited since Doppelgangland, for the writers to finally have the guts to make Darth Rosenberg the big bad of the season. For three years, I waited for Tara’s death to finally arrive... her character was far too one dimensional, and far too lovey dovey romancy, to ever be anything but cannon fodder in a Whedonesque world... I just knew...

Season six finally brought everything I expected to light. Willow went dark, and Tara presumably went to heaven... I can’t say I liked how the writers went about it though. Willow’s path to darkness was absolutely clear in late season five and early season six, when she was getting addicted to the power. When she was getting addicted to being special, I mean... When she was getting addicted, to being anything but nerdy Willow... But then it stopped. After god-awful magical junkie episodes, it just stopped... with Tara’s leaving and Willow quitting the magical forces... For half the season, the lead-up to Darth Willow was completely not there. And when it finally happened? Perhaps they were going for shock value or something... but it just felt pretty out of place instead...

But I suppose Darth Willow was worth the wait...

Villains wasn’t a good episode or anything. It wasn’t even entertaining, thanks to all the over-serious bloodshed and all. But it definitely was memorable. The end of characters I like always tends to be... A large part of me wishes that Warren had put up more of a fight. Why didn’t he nab a plane or something, while Willow was chasing his decoy robot or something? And he at least should’ve had a machine gun or rocket launcher with him or something, just for safety’s sake along with exploding flying boxes and whatever gelatinous balls of crap... But he did what he was meant to do. Anti-nerd Willow just had to kill a nerd, to metaphorically kill herself... And although the sight of a man flayed alive was just laughable bad, CG quality and makeup and all, I must admit that the torture leading up to it still gets me to this day... How Willow could ever actually forget in season seven the crap she did in Villains, I will never know. But she tortured the man with a bullet when he couldn’t even scream... She didn’t even care that her friends would see the slaughter. The only thing on her mind was vengeance for Tara... and I thought it worked quite nicely...

I’ve been waiting four years to hear again, "Bored, Now"... and I certainly wasn’t bored when I did...

The whole episode was about Willow, and the problem with Villains was that every other character suffered as a result... Xander got to be all concerned for Buffy with a bullet in her chest. He had a few good lines, of having blood on his hands all day, and finding out about Anya getting her vengeance back on. But Xander really didn’t have much else to do, until the season finale at least... Dawn’s only decent moment was when she wouldn’t leave Tara’s body. Besides that, she just can’t act. Her inability to even properly nag really killed her character this season... Jonathan got to be annoying again, thanks to his guilt. But I couldn’t help but agree with Andrew – Broadway Broderick does leave me cold...

Buffy herself didn’t have much to do except lay on a table and pretty much die for the third time. She was far too level headed about Warren after, but I guess that was expected, considering she was trying to save Willow’s soul and all... And I don’t even want to bother mentioning anything about Spike. The goddam awful writer misdirection, of him pretending to want his chip out instead of gaining a soul, was absolutely one of the stupidest goddam ideas the sixth season has to offer... hell, it’s no wonder why so many Buffy viewers still think that Spike never wanted his soul back in the fist place... but me being Mr. Oversensitive and all, I’ve complained about William the bloody’s subplot crap enough for one lifetime already, so...

The whole episode was about Willow... and Tara, to some extent... Now, except for a few shining moments, I’ve never cared for the Tara character. And I can’t help but snivel at all the fans who cried foul when Tara died (all the "Joss Whedon Hates Lesbian" campaigns still roll my eyes to this day...)... But Amber Benson, lying dead on the floor with a bullet hole through her heart, did remind me a lot of The Body last season. And in those few instances, I do feel bad that we’d never get to see her character again... I never liked her time with Willow. But I still liked her, to some extent... even if most of that was because I was counting down the days until she died...

... to bring forth Darth Willow, the most powerful Big Bad in all the history of Joss Whedon’s shows, with the power to ride on air, sense human essences, beat the crap out of Buffy, and somehow freeze explosions into ice... Willow was a bit too straight forward evil this episode though, except for those few brief instances of thinking of Tara again. But special effect wise, Villains got the job done... Sucking the words right out of the dark magic books was really a nice touch. And using the blood of the slain as a map was pretty damn cool as well... Darth Willow in the last two episodes of the season acted a bit too much of a junkie for me. But in Villains, Alyson Hannigan really did act like a woman in unbelievable pain... and it was believable... even after all the mistakes with her character this season, it was still completely believable...

I waited for this episode for four bloody years. It finally happened... Tara’s death finally happened...

It wasn’t all that I expected... but it still affected me...

... after four years of waiting, Willow as a villain still affects me...

... and that was what I was really waiting for...

6x21 – Two to Go

- the one where Buffy fights Darth Willow

Buffy season premieres normally rank high up on the complete suckiness chart. But the series’ season finales at least are at least hit and miss most of the time... Becoming still stands as one of the best episodes ever made, and Graduation was better than an average episode at least... I’ll never really like Restless, but it was still a fascinating piece of artwork and experimentation. And even though The Gift and Chosen will never top my favourite lists either, they were still some of the best episodes for each respective season...

The season six series finale though, starting from Villains and ending with Grave, was probably the best Buffy season finale arc since Becoming. In my honest opinion at least... Two to Go wasn’t a perfect episode or anything. Hell, even the pacing felt really off... Maybe it was the music not being strong enough in the background or something? Or maybe it was simply because the actors couldn’t carry on conversations that lasted as long as they did?... I just know that Willow and Dawn’s little moment at Rack’s felt a lot longer than it should’ve. Buffy’s speech about the greatness of life just stretched beyond the point of hypocrisy... and although as a guy, I couldn’t help but enjoy the T2 homage with the Mac truck chase, it was just so damn obvious how slow both vehicles were going. Even that scene didn’t feel suspenseful to me, not even once...

Two to Go didn’t even have the greatest of action. I mean, it was nice to see Willow go all Dark Phoenix and Dark Jedi with her kung-fu moves and all. But all the back flips she did, and all the little spin kicks she spun? Honestly, whoever doubled up for Alyson Hannigan didn’t move anything like the actual actress does. And whenever the real Hannigan was involved in the fight, she just didn’t know how to properly pull her punches. Being such a noob at the combat thing and all, you can’t really blame her... but the fight scene that was meant to be all uber-dramatic, between Buffy and her best friend, just ended up feeling lame compared to the stuff we were given with Glory just the season before... even the telekinetic special effects just felt cartoony...

I was disappointed in Two to Go, action and may suspense wise as well... But character wise? There’s really not much to complain about... Well, there’s always something to complain about Dawn. Once again, her incessant whining grating on the audience’s ears, as she dragged Clem to one of the worst places she could ever be brought (although even I admit that dying is better than renting The Wedding Planner...). But at least when being threatened by Willow, Dawn’s goddam annoying behaviour was finally thrown back in her face. The scene went on far too long though... And Spike? Must I even bother with Spike? Not only was I still pissed off thanks to the god-awful audience-misdirection that was going on with his character. But those were the trials he had to go through? Just beating on super model men and eating a bunch of bugs? That’s it?... talk about lame...

But every single other character really made a name for themselves amongst all the maiming... Xander and Anya finally shared a moment. And poor Anya had to settle for hating Xander rather than exacting vengeance... I wish Anya had actually done something more though. I mean, what about her demon strength? And why didn’t anyone try a wish?... But still, I never got bored of the scenes together with her ex, because a) Anya looked cute with that blonde ponytail of hers, and b) I guess I could relate to Xander a bit. He did just let two of his friends bite the bullet, quite literally... I’m still traumatized from those few times I just froze up and didn’t help a damn bit...

And the comic relief in this episode was definitely brought out by Jonathan and Andrew... well, Jonathan was lame-ass as ever. He even told Andrew to grow up, which completely doesn’t match his 4-foot high sort of character. And it’s just too bad - it certainly would’ve helped certain slow scenes, if Jonathan just got to go mono a mono with Willow at some point. It definitely would’ve been neat, to see the world’s most powerful wiccan stuck in a time loop with a mummy hand, but I digress... Andrew though was a hoot, and definitely worthy of a seventh season return. I loved his speech about Dark Rosenberg and having the mitochlorians to stop her. I never thought I’d hear a line with "mitochlorians" in it and actually enjoy it, but Andrew truly is the man... From calling Willow "Dark Phoenix", to searching for implants in every hole in Jonathan’s body, Andrew really was the man. And I almost felt bad for him, that after all his wishful thinking, Warren had been flayed alive, bloodied across the forest, and more than dead or alive almost the entire time... poor little, evil, nerdy bugger...

The episode was obviously all about Willow. And all about Buffy as well... Buffy herself didn’t do much, except bend metal bars much harder than I ever thought she could do before... All of her speeches this episode just felt off though. Willow was right to blame her for being a hypocrite, for ranting about the joys of life when a mental institution was her comfy dream home... But still, Sarah Michelle Gellar did put on a good show in Two to Go. She really did seem concerned for Willow, she really did seem to hate Jonathan... And besides, she looked damn cute in that little hat she wore. I’ve always had a thing for Buffy, and I’ve always had a thing for hats...

Now, I much preferred Alyson Hannigan’s role in Villains, where she looked like a woman in grief when torturing Warren with the bullet... She was addicted to power. And she was addicted to pain... A lot of that fell apart in Two to Go though, especially after sucking the life out of Rack. She simply seemed addicted to magic again. Not even Dawn’s talk of Tara got much of a reaction out of Willow... Willow was simply too damn evil to make sense of her character this episode. Which normally would be a downside, but... still, we the fans have always wanted to see Willow step out of the sidekick shadow. We’ve all wanted to see Buffy and Willow get it on, hopefully with some sort of oil involved... And while the final fight didn’t exactly live up to the hype, I still gotta agree with her – Buffy really did need to get every square inch of her ass kicked... and it’s always great to see Willow show Buffy what being a slayer really means, if only as payback for six years of being mostly invisible... it’s just too bad she couldn’t kick her ass again after all those goddam awful speeches Buffy gave in season seven... that would’ve gotten two thumbs up from me, and most of the Buffyverse fans as well...

So yeah, I definitely do have my complaints about Two to Go. It was a solid episode, but definitely not a great one... Neither was Villains too. And Seeing Red definitely had its blind spots as well... But as a whole, from Seeing Red to Grave, the final four episodes of Buffy season six really did excel better than anything since season two’s Becoming... Two to Go was really just the warm-up to one of the best episodes of the season...

Two parts of the season finale down... just one more to go...

6x22 – Grave

Ah, and here we are... not only the final episode of the sixth season of Buffy, but also perhaps the last review I’ll ever write for Buffy the Vampire Slayer... unless TV movies ever come into play...

Grave shared its own share of problems, mostly from character arcs that simply failed to impress through the sixth season... Buffy went completely loony this episode, crying out of happiness and being reduced to fighting alongside Dawn against endless minions of dirt... Dawn finally got to show off her moves, to the point where we figured out the only thing she can do is duck and cover... The big revelation of being 16, the same age that Buffy started out on the show, seemed like a move in the right direction for the ol’ clepto at first. But then her character just started sucking again in season seven, but that’s a rant for a later day... And Spike’s character was completely wasted in the final four episodes. Getting a soul was a big deal for him, but why the fuck did the writers have to make it seem as if the demon had tricked him in the end and crap like that? Misguided audience misdirection at its worst...

All three of these characters had their character arcs completely squandered in Grave... but none of that really mattered in the end... they weren’t the ones that mattered for once...

The spotlight truly shined on Xander Harris for the first time in the entire show I think... He got to save the world. From his best friend, no less... For the past few episodes, Xander had really gotten on my nerves with all his incessant, IvanFian-like whining and pouting with Klingon cheese, about being useless and freezing up at gun point and all... But his character really came full circle here. Not just for the season, but perhaps for the entire series as well... He’s always been known as the heart of the team. And he proved it this episode... Now, I completely admit that the first time I watched Grave, I actually rolled my eyes at all his "I love you"s to Willow. And the sight of the uber-witch, pounding her fists at his chest like a little high school girl, still gets me balling in laughter every time I rewatch it... But even with all the flaws, Xander really comes through in his big speech. Just by talking about the yellow crayon Willow broke the first day of kindergarten, and how she was too scared to even tell anyone about it, I got a lot about her relationship with Xander... They’ve been together since day one. And the truth of this speech, was that no matter who Willow is. No matter who she was, or whomever she will be... Doesn’t matter if she’s good. Doesn’t matter if she’s evil... All that matters, is that Xander and Willow are still best friends. No matter what happens. No matter what she becomes...

Because it’s all about loyalty. And I get that... I really do...

... and poor Willow... Alyson Hannigan really couldn’t pull off any of her evil one-liners properly. But it’s not like she had any practice, of being an evil super bitch and all... Except for the fact that the Magic Box got totally trashed, I really didn’t care much for her talks with Giles... What really got me about her character though, was how she handled being dosed with the "true" essence of magic... I never liked that the Buffyverse differentiated between good and bad magicks, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter in the end. What mattered, is that when she stole Giles’ power, Willow started feeling the pain again. She wasn’t cliche evil anymore. She was just grief stricken Willow... and it showed when she was taking on Xander at the end. Even after she made me laugh with her little girl fisticuffs way, she still makes me feel sad... the way she just couldn’t stop crying...

... and besides, I think she looked kinda hot in black hair...

The real story of the episode was Giles though... Giles was back, and thank God he was... And just like with most one-time special guest star appearances in the Buffyverse (like Charisma Carpenter in season 5 of Angel), Giles was definitely given the best of lines... I still don’t care much for Sarah Michelle Gellar with short hair, but I absolutely adored how caring and fatherly Anthony Stewart Head seemed, just when he realized Buffy cut her hair... And the whole scene in the training room? God, it was so damn needed, to have Buffy finally laugh at all the stupid shit that had happened over the season. Because why not? We the fans were laughing at how dumb the characters were already... What really made that scene, was just how damn infectious Giles’ laughter was. I don’t know how the British actor did it, but it was probably the best damn, heartfelt laugh I’ve seen on television, ever... And although I really didn’t care much for his magical battle with Willow (since most of it was done off camera, it seemed), Giles really did bring back meaning to the show. He brought back meaning to the characters, simply by laying there with everyone hoping he wouldn’t die... And why did he leave the show again? He alone made Grave seem so much greater than the whole... it was dumb of him to leave, and even dumber of him to become an evil son of a bitch in season seven... But at least we’ll always have Grave...

... risen from the grave that much graver...

Giles didn’t just make this episode amazing by himself, but through his connection with Anya as well... Anya just has the perfect way of being both caring and callous at the very same time... She was the perfect person to watch over Giles. Telling him directly not to die, was perhaps the most comforting thing the fans got to hear... and although I know it didn’t really amount to much in season seven, it was more than appropriate that she was the first to hear that Xander had saved the world. I loved the way she played her reaction, both coy and heart-warmed at the very same time... and then I remembered why her character was so lovable in season five, yet so cold and distant in season six... Because she really didn’t feel the same without Giles around. Giles really did feel like a father, to both Anya and Buffy. And because of that, even as a guy, I get all misty in the eyes when the three of them hug... I envision that Giles in the middle is me, at least...

Grave wasn’t a perfect episode. Even with amazing special effects in the end of the world scenario, the episode just felt kinda low budget to me... for a season finale at least... And it bothered me at times that both Buffy and Spike was pretty much ignored throughout this episode. Hell, Buffy really got nothing to do except follow a crackling fireball and then crack some god-awful line about showing Dawn the world... like that actually went anywhere in the last season of the show...

But the episode was the episode for Willow and Xander... Willow finally got to be evil. Xander finally got to save the world... I wasn’t expecting that... and I was satisfied when it happened... and I wasn’t expecting that either...

Grave was a near perfect cap to the season about life... "Life is the Big Bad" the writers would say... Buffy had to learn how to be a mom. Spike had to learn that love can’t be selfish. And Dawn had to get over her goddam teen angst... Xander had to learn to get past his own insecurities. Willow had to too, that power isn’t everything. And the nerds did as well, as lovable and evil as they are... Tara had to learn to die. Anya had to learn that vengeance doesn’t solve a thing. And Giles should’ve learned that the most adult thing in life, is perhaps to be there to help out when things get rough... too bad the bastard didn’t really learn anything in the end...

All of these things got wrapped up all so perfectly in the final four episodes of the season though... Grave would’ve made a great series finale, even with all the questions that remained dangling at the end of the episode... It capped off what definitely wasn’t the finest season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But it definitely served as the final hour, of one of the most interesting seasons the writers had ever put forth...

Everything came full circle. And everything felt so... finished, in the end...

... she’s going to finish it... the world, I mean... simply because a Buffy season can’t be a Buffy season without a proper apocalypse or two, now can it?...

... and besides, I prefer to think of Grave as the true series finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer... considering season seven become so goddam messed up in the end... without even a good ol’ laugh about it to make us feel better when it was all said and done... but that’s a story for another day... and another season, no doubt...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Season six.