IvanF's Noname Archived Reviews for the Fifth Season of Stargate Atlantis (2008-2009)...

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- IvanF's No-Name Archived Reviews for
The Fifth and Final Season of Stargate Atlantis (2008 - 2009) -

- IvanFian Last Updated: January 30th, 2009
- Notable Episodes: The Daedalus Variations, The Shrine, The Queen, The Lost Tribe, The Prodigal, Remnants, Vegas, Enemy at the Gate
- Best Episode of the Season: First Contact

Normally, the series has a penchant for delivering decent season premieres. I absolutely loved the series premiere of Rising, and everything since then (The Siege, No Man's Land, even Adrift and Lifeline) were all good episodes overall worth watching once or twice or more.

This year though? This year, I'm not sure what the writers were thinking. Search and Rescue was handicapped and marred right from the get-go, simply from the so-called cliffhanger last season of a building collapsing on top of McKay and co. I mean seriously, who thought it would actually turn out alright to have half an episode of Ronon and Sheppard being stuck under a block of wood? It was almost like whoever wrote that shit at the end of last season just wanted to leave the series and screw over the next writer who took his or her place. Search and Rescue officially was the first ever Atlantis season premiere that I've ever found myself truly bored watching...

Now granted, there were some bright spots. Namely, it may suck that Amanda Tapping was forced to leave the show after just one season, but since that's what her expensive contract limited Atlantis to, it wasn't a bad send-off for one of the greatest characters Stargate ever had. Her one year tenure was no better or worse than Dr. Weir ever delivered on the show, but as a huge fan of SG-1, I had expected so much more. Here, at least she finally got to go off-world again, had a few interactions with Rodney for the first time in ages, and even got to remark that Captain Vega was seriously hot (with her aiming against the Wraith Dart, of course...). It was far too quick and forced how she was suddenly relieved of her duties as commander of Atlantis, but I agree that as a Colonel, she never really was deserving of such a prestigious position in the first place. She'll be back in the series now and again as the lead of the Phoenix battlecruiser or something, I'm sure of it. When that'll happen though, not so sure, but at least I can look forward to that. Guest spots suit her character in Atlantis better anyways, or so they have for the past four or so years...

Certainly, there were some bits of humour here and there in Search and Rescue, although it was certainly hard to find the comic relief. McKay was his usual self, pestering Lorne with pessimism the whole way through, which is always welcome after such a long hiatus. Dr. Keller was cute as always, which is always a nice bonus, and seemed rather in charge when leading the medical teams off-world in the rescue efforts. And how can I really fault an episode that much when it finally had a decent F-302 battle against Wraith Darts and a cruiser? Sure, it made little sense logistically speaking, when it came to lowering the shields and risking the lives of everyone onboard just to save two piddly nobodies on the planet with the transporter. But meh, there had to be some sort of challenge when it came to the Wraith Cruiser, and at least the CG effects were worth a mention or two...

And WTF was with the 10 second return of Lt. Ford? The writers brought the actor back for that? WTF? Well, like I said, comedy was there at its best, or at least sarcastic applause for ten fucking seconds...

But really, when everything else in the episode dragged, whether it was Ronon trapped under a pile of rocks or Sheppard complaining that he's too badass to be sitting in a medical bay, everything in the show pretty much felt by the books and completely cliche. I know it had to happen, but having Teyla's baby born on television is not what I expect from a season premiere. It would've been better if an entire character-based episode later on in the season was devoted to that, instead of McKay getting to be a hero for just five minutes on the show. Everything felt rushed as a result in Search and Rescue, even when it came to saving Kanaan and all the other hybrids (although Sheppard seemed to have no issue with allowing the Daedalus to blow them out of the spatial skies). Even Connor Trinneer as Michael felt flat and cookie-cutter, in the sense that he did nothing but whine and whip out generic villain lines about doing battle and being evil. WTF?...

Alright, so Teyla's baby was born, Michael escaped in a Puddle Jumper he shouldn't be able to steal, and Carter is now kicked off of the base in favour of old SG-1 movie ring tones. So basically, the series has resetted itself to exactly how it was by the end of Adrift or Lifeline last season. The only real change that I cared about was Richard Woolsey getting put in charge, if only because of how wussy he looked in sneakers and the uniform in last season's finale. I personally am looking forward to his more formal introduction to the people of the base, but considering Carter got an excellent introductory episode last season but didn't continue the momentum at all, I don't know how I feel about this personnel change. Atlantis didn't really feel like Atlantis with an SG-1 central character in charge last season, so I'm not sure if Richard Woolsey either can really fill the void that was left when Elizabeth Weir was airlocked from the goddam series...

Stargate Atlantis has finally returned, and don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to the rest of the season...

... but it certainly does feel like a bizarro universe, when the series can't even deliver a decent season premiere...

... I'm still searching for that warm return, I'm still hoping for a rescue from the boredom of the hiatus..."

"I should really look back at my old updates. Do I always end up enjoying the first bottle episode after a season premiere or what?...

You'd think low-budget filler shows like The Seed would be a bottleneck against Atlantis, yet they always provide the best sense of entertainment that I get from the series. This episode was basically meant to be a bad homage to Star Trek: Voyager, thanks to the introduction of Richard Woolsey as the new leader of Atlantis. Hell, the episode even featured a virus known as "The Phage", and if that ain't either a tribute or rip-off of the shittiest ass Voyager episodes ever made, then I don't know what is. And yet strangely enough, I enjoyed The Seed much more than any of those Dr. Horrible hours of Captain Janeway getting infected by lizard genes or any sort of crap. Who would've thunk?...

A large part of this episode exceeding expectations was simply because Richard Woolsey took charge of the base like a real bald man. You could almost say Robert Picardo put in a Picard-like performance, albeit with less god-like powers and omnipotent badassery, I suppose. The thing is, I felt the writers did an excellent job of integrating him into the rest of the cast and crew as the new man on the job that nobody else trusts. The talk around the new round table was interesting, not just because the new conference table was strange looking and out of place, but because they were actually associating Woolsey with that alternate timeline gone wrong. But in the end, Woolsey pulled an EMH and proved everyone wrong once again, that he can bend the rules and become more than what he seemed at first. He talked at the end with Sheppard about how if he can't trust the rules, then he can't do the job, but I personally thought he made every single right call when it came to the general rule of thumb, "leave no man behind". It was an interesting change of pace to have a character on the show who may not verbally agree with that ideal, but can't help following it when push comes to shove. Isn't that what heroes are made of? Or at least bald ones...

Of course, how could I have anything against The Seed after it brought back Dr. Carson Beckett all over again to the series? Now, do I still think it was dumbass as hell that the writers killed off his character, only to realize the mistake they made and then return him in cloned format? Absolutement. But the actor is just so good at winning over the hearts and minds of fans, that Beckett can even make us forgive the writers for his decapitation and denouement. And here in The Seed, with Dr. Keller being tentacle-raped up the ass (and looking cute and helpless while restrained), we finally had the true return of Dr. Beckett, large and in charge and providing the kind of warmth and heart that this series has been lacking for so very long. Whether it was his little friendship moments with McKay or his political and polite dealings with Woolsey of all people, Dr. Carson Beckett here proved once again why he deserves to not just be the lead medical officer of Atlantis but probably the Starship Enterprise as well. And to boot, he proved it all against probably the best damn doctor that any Star Trek series has ever had...

The Seed was a trademark bottle episode with a horrible plotline but a decent and endearing script. It was obvious from last season's finale that the writers would start pairing up McKay and Dr. Keller, and it seemed from the looks they gave each other early on in the episode that the 'shipping between the two would continue. It was kind of cute actually, how Dr. Keller was commenting at the start at just how sweet McKay can be, although Jewel Staite is always adorable, no matter whether she's reading the goddam phone book or not. And as for Dr. McKay, Rodney always wins me over whenever he's a) being his usual nervous self, especially with the sweaty palms, b) providing the best friendship chemistry on the show whenever it's between him and Beckett, and c) actually caring enough about Keller to risk his life for her, sweaty palms and all. The Seed definitely was a great character piece between all three of them, even if Jennifer was a dorky lazy ass who couldn't even get out of bed with two men watching her getting tentacle-raped then and there...

The rest of the characters took a back seat to the above three and Richard Woolsey, but The Seed provided pretty much everyone with a decent moment, even going far enough to give some extra props and credit to Colonel Samantha Carter stuck on the SG-1 base. It was strange seeing Teyla back up and about and not looking pregnant at all, but a month or two had pissed since the events of Search and Rescue, so I guess it does make sense she'd be kicking ass with a P90 all over again. Sheppard proved his loyalty to the base and team as expected, putting all his trust into Doctor Beckett and his cure of the "phage" or whatever sort of crap. Ronon tried to go all badass with his sword chopping ways, and at least he finally got what was coming to him, joining Dr. Keller in getting raped up his ass, a fitting end for him considering he stole that girl away from McKay and I long ago. Radek Zelenka got a taste of that medicine as well, trying to be a hero while the entire ship around him was turning into a goddam Hentai...

And how the hell can't I give props to an episode with such an obvious pun of "a case of the hives" versus a frickin' "Hive" ship growing inside of Keller, yet never once making that goddam connection in script? I really did enjoy The Seed, I just don't know why. Maybe the alien spores from Star Trek were infecting my judgment yet again, I just don't know what it is with me and bottle episodes. You'd think such a low-budget endeavour with the worst Voyager-style synopsis one has ever read would've turned into a shit-fest of an unintentional comedy. And yet, I know we're only two episodes into the new season, but I've already finally got that warm, fuzzy feeling of Stargate Atlantis back in the guts and groove all over again. Go figure...

Season five may very well be the last for Atlantis. If so, I want this season to count...

And as long as McKay is at the top of his game, and Dr. Beckett is right there with him?...

... and as long as Dr. Keller looks cute as hell while getting fucked up the ass?...

"Every single year, there's a Ronon-centric episode that actually turns out better than I thought it would be...

Turns out, Broken Ties was not that episode, not for this season at least. It was a decent hour of entertainment, but it can't compare to Runner or Sateda or even last year's showing when Tyre (or however you spell his name) first appeared...

Ronon himself almost did nothing in Broken Ties, except prove just how much of a pansy, weak-minded brute he really was. On first viewing, I thought he had actually been strong enough to resist the Wraith enzymes in his body, and was simply pretending to follow the Wraith who had repeatedly given him the gift of life. Hell, I even thought it was Ronon who had cut off that Wraith's hand before he could feed on Sheppard, when on second viewing it turned out to be all the work of Tyre instead. What were we supposed to find out about Ronon here in this episode then? That he grunts a lot, talks a big talk, but then completely succumbs to the same Wraith bullshit that got Lt. Ford a five second cameo earlier on in the season? Well, at least we got a decent sword-fight here, that alone was worth the price of admission to Broken Ties alone...

This episode was more about Tyre and his finale from the series more than anything else. I love his character's martial arts style on the show, even if he eventually always gets his ass kicked by Ronon in the end. Broken Ties was far more about Tyre's redemption and his friendship with Ronon more than anything else, and from that point of view, I enjoyed this hour on Sci-Fi television for what it was worth. We got a lot of pointless scenes of Tyre and Ronon writhing in agony, screaming like little girls, but I suppose it was all worth it to see a big ass sword fight in the end, a giant C4 explosion in the Wraith labs, and Dr. Keller bending over backwards to put a smile back on their faces and our own. There wasn't much substance to talk about in Broken Ties, but how can I really complain when the choreography for their final fight scene turned out to be just as good as it was last season?...

As for all the other main characters, Sheppard and McKay were there but really didn't have much to do. I completely forget their roles and comments at this point in time, so obviously neither really were memorable in their own rights. I guess that's alright, considering it was time for Teyla to get some limelight again. I've got to say, Rachel Luttrell looks amazing still, considering she just had a baby of her own. And she also displayed a very realistic and passionate, conflicted point of view over continuing her work at Atlantis or simply becoming a stay-at-home mother, almost as if the actress herself had considered the same sort of decision herself. There was no doubt in the end that Teyla would return to Sheppard's team, but I did enjoy the thought process that you could truly see in her eyes as she was deciding between her loyalties. Now granted, indecisiveness is not a character trait of hers that I really want to see continued on from week to week, but it definitely needed to be addressed early on here in the season at least, and I personally thought Rachel Luttrell and the writers did a pretty decent job...

It's disappointing that I couldn't remember any jokes or quips that Dr. McKay had in this episode, but it was more than made up for by Robert Picardo's Richard Woolsey already having more character development than I think Samantha Carter had all last year. Little moments, like the Atlantis doors not recognizing the Voyager holographic doctor to actually open up for, kind of makes me chuckle in remembrance of all the times the local Best Buy didn't recognize me as human either. And really, how the hell can I hate on a character who claims to be changing into something "more comfortable", and ends up sporting a full suit jacket and strung up tie to boot? That alone made Broken Ties memorable in my eyes as a decent standalone episode, and already Richard Woolsey is gaining my favour as Elizabeth Weir's true successor on the show...

Overall, there's nothing really great to mention about Broken Ties, but there's nothing to truly complain about either. It was a decent send-off for Tyre and I did appreciate how the show actually concentrated on a lengthy and meaningful ending, almost as if Broken Ties was the true finish to this season's premiere. There were a few jokes here and there, namely from Robert Picardo and probably from Ronon inadvertently with his screams and cries of joy. It was an entertaining package that I probably won't bother to watch again, but definitely wasn't a waste of time like so many Atlantis episodes from the past season felt the very day after being watched...

I'm still waiting for that one great Ronon episode that truly defines the season though...

"I normally hate the idea of parallel universes. But I guess, if there really are infinite possibilities, then there's always a chance I'd like an episode dealing with them...

The Daedalus Variations was a bottle episode, but probably the most expensive one that the Stargate producers have ever done. The sheer, raw amount of CG work that was planned and put into this hour of entertainment was rather mind-boggling, and almost none of it felt out of place. Whether we are talking about giant Red Suns that could scorch the hell out of Superman, or huge planetary asteroids of debris dancing like Wall-E in space, almost everything in The Daedalus Variations clicked and worked wonders together as a whole. I won't claim that this was the best episode of Stargate Atlantis ever done, far from it really. But it's right up there with one of the most fun, team-based showings that I think we've seen since the first season of the series...

Without a doubt, The Daedalus Variations was a filler episode, as I doubt we'll ever see that incarnation of the Daedalus jumping ship between parallel universes ever again. I doubt we'll care or even think of that dead, alternate SGA team ever again, although the sights and sounds of their bodies simply lying there was excellent work by the director and writers once again. However, all I do want from my weekly dose of Stargate Atlantis is a fun romp of an adventure where the core team of Sheppard, McKay, Teyla and I guess even Ronon, all work together to provide the same kind of wacky shit that SG-1 used to provide for me in spades. That's exactly what this episode was all about, the four of them finding a solution as a team, with hilarity and random explosions happening in between as a result. That's what made the first season of Atlantis so damn successful in my eyes, and while I doubt The Daedalus Variations will go down as one my favourite episodes of all time, you never really know in a multi-verse so full of infinite possibilities...

First of all, I must say that Dr. McKay is a brilliant scientist, no matter what universe he comes from. I love the fact that he actually invented a drive to travel between parallel dimensions, and I even more enjoyed his self-praise for his brilliance from another realm. There were a lot of little touches and McKay'isms that helped The Daedalus Variations feel like a truly old skool episode, whether it was the good doctor losing confidence in himself (after realizing that his alternate self failed at his current goal), or electrifying himself when sparks start showering from up above. McKay was prone to fear and failure, but always managed to pull through in the end, just like he always has...

It was also an interesting dynamic for him to be working with Teyla for once, who I must admit, still grates me as the new Jonas-uber-quick study of a science student on the team. I know the writers threw in an off-remark that Major Marks had taught her Tau'ri systems 101, but I seriously doubt she would've been able to help McKay considering the kind of "classical" education that she had as an Athosian. And McKay certainly doubted it too, but when he finally woke up and realized that she's a pretty helpful lab assistant (with 'pretty' being the key word here), he did his usual McKay thing of sucking in his own pride and working with her together as team. It was a simple scene, of just her and him trying to save the ship from the Red Giant using power from the shields, but all of McKay's very Shia-like "no, no, no, no"'s combined with Teyla looking all hot and bothered there, ready for some P90 action, definitely got me on the edge of my seat. Like I said, it was a simple scene, but it just somehow worked with the setting and the atmosphere and the sights of Ronon getting his ass handed to him by who knows what...

Ronon himself had several memorable moments all to himself, whether he was getting choked to death by the Wraith-Borg or whatever the hell that was, or pulling a Chewie against the Tie Fighter roaming about. Hell, he even tried to be a science whiz, lecturing Teyla about multi-universe theory, although what came out of his mouth certainly didn't sound very right in the end. Most of his interactions were with Sheppard, and that's where the actor's talents always seem to come out the best. I know he only basically got to play with big ass red button as he let the CG rail gun and sound effects fly, but Ronon's frustration and fear of failure was so apparent and clear in those scenes that I couldn't help but laugh at the Star Wars references and everything. I doubt Sheppard would've kept his giggles in too, if only he wasn't confronted by imminent death every single universal slide they made through...

How can I possibly hate on an episode that had cocky-ass, pilot Sheppard at his very best? And how can I possibly criticize an episode that had TWO cocky-ass, pilot Sheppard's being arrogant with blatant self-appraisal to boot? Even after multiple watchings, I still laugh every time I hear the Colonel complementing his alternate self on being a man of honour and undeniable skill. I loved the reactions on everyone's faces around him, and that's truly what defines a Stargate-based team episode, when the entire group at the end can simply roll their eyes in unison at Sheppard essentially Kirking with himself. Whether the man was playing around with green alien gunfire, toying with a white DS Lite, or chastising Major Lorne for the lack of taxi's in the general spatial area, Joe Flanigan was just his usual fun self that I have missed from the early days of season one of the series. Hell, I bet he would've even hit on the alternate Teyla if she wasn't already dead and cold in her heels...

And like I said earlier, The Daedalus Variations must've been the most expensive bottle episode ever, considering everything was filmed on the Daedalus sets (with not even a single sight of an actual Stargate) yet the writers went so far as to introduce a completely new enemy just for shits and giggles. I think it's a good chance we'll see them again, considering their CG effects and their actual logo were far too fleshed out to simply be a one-episode wonder of a hit, and I wouldn't mind the SGA team confronting them in our own universe, provided they don't start falling over from nail-clippers like every other enemy that the writers have come up with in the past. They're just too expensive and rowdy badass not to bring back now and again...

I absolutely loved the dog-fight at the end of the episode, as it was the best that any Stargate episode has provided since probably The Lost City back on SG-1. Now, why the hell no other race in the universe has ever used missiles against us when it's obvious our F-302's mop up every other fighter thanks to a few guided shots, I don't know. All I do know, is that if the CG battle and the sight of Ronon banging away at the console like it was a set of drums is any indication for the rest of the season? Then sign me up for the rest of the ride...

Really, have I stepped into an alternate dimension here? The first three or so episodes of Stargate Atlantis this season have been alright, but mostly boring and forgettable. And yet finally here, it's like the old SGA team from season one (minus Lt. Ford, of course) just slid back into our own universe out of nowhere (minus Arturo and Wade from the Sliders series, alas)?...

I never thought from the previews that Daedalus Variations would turn out to be so fun and enjoyable. I normally never enjoy episodes based on parallel universes, except if McKay goes golfing that is. But then again, I guess in a series full of infinite possibilities?...

... well then, I guess there just might be hope for this season of Stargate Atlantis yet..."

"There has been a big controversy over this episode, specifically with the return of Dr. Weir without Torri Higginson...

I've been on record for quite some time now, claiming that Atlantis has just not been the same without the spirit of Elizabeth Weir in charge. I have no doubt that the actor and the character were underutilized and mismanaged during the first three seasons, much like Daniel Jackson was back in SG-1 for seasons 4 and 5. However, Michael Shanks was able to bring new life to his role when his character was given a second (or twelfth?) life, providing some of his most memorable moments throughout the seventh through tenth seasons of the show. Why couldn't the writers have done the same for Torri Higginson instead of writing her off like they did? Instead, they opted to kill Dr. Carson Beckett in favour of a cute, female face and replaced Weir with everyone's favourite Samantha Carter in the end. Unfortunately, both moves did not pan out for the better, in my honest opinion at least, and I think the writers have realized that for at least the former...

Ghost in the Machine would have been a decent episode to send Dr. Elizabeth Weir on her way, since her last cliffhanger moment in Be All My Sins Remember'd was about as meaningful as Lt. Ford's final five second stint on the show. I've got to say though, that perhaps I would've liked Ghost in the Machine a lot better if a) it hadn't been named after a shitty anime, and b) if Torri Higginson had indeed returned to reprise her role. It was more than just disappointing that she chose not to before the season had even started, although I do understand her decision...

Instead, we got the returning Michelle Morgan in her place, who I must admit did an astounding job at a) mimicking and emoting the same ways as Torri Higginson used to act on the show, and b) looking so fucking hot as hell with those voluptuous lips of hers. While I'm sure John Sheppard had his initial troubles and questions at first with Weir's new body, if I were him, I'd get over them real quick and enjoy the new fruits of nanite labour. Still, even so, no matter how good of a job Michelle Morgan did, it just wasn't the same as having Torri Higginson back on the show. There were some wistful looks between her and John, but the spark and chemistry that was once there simply was not meant to be. Here, we had a good copy of Elizabeth Weir, but in the words of Sheppard? She may think she's Dr. Weir, but she's not...

... doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer Michelle Morgan when all said and done, hot damn, but still...

It was a bottle of a filler episode, but nothing more than decent. None of the characters really had any special moments that I can recall. Teyla was just her usual self, Ronon got his ass kicked by a neutered-down Replicator, and McKay fell asleep at the wheel. It was nice plot-wise that at least Atlantis got the specs to Wraith technology and the location of other technologically advanced races in the Pegasus Galaxy (aka new enemies, if the show is renewed that is), but wouldn't it have been much nicer for earth if Dr. Weir had also downloaded the specs to making new ZPMs or any other Asuran technology? At least Robert Picardo got to prove his mettle and poise by not backing down to the Replicators' terrorist threats. That was probably the most memorable scene of the entire episode, and really showed that like McKay, pretty much any guest starring SG-1 character brought onto Atlantis always seems to do wonders for the show (Major Lorne too, if he counts)...

I was not a fan of the end of the episode though. Who's bright idea was it to send Replicators into space, where they simply get frozen and can unthaw themselves as soon as some curious space race brings them onboard somewhere warm? I know the writers were thinking of future possibilities for Weir to return, and I know they were trying to make a meaningful scene where it shows Elizabeth making some grand sacrifice in slow motion or some crap like that. It just didn't make logical sense though, to simply put the Replicators in stasis if the goal was to annihilate the threat to Atlantis once and for all. It didn't make sense either how the SGA team wouldn't let the Replicators live on as allies. They were willing to bring Niam to the city before, and now there was no threat from Oberoth or any other Asurans bent on galactic domination any longer. Why couldn't they keep these Replicators as allies offworld then, especially considering they had been neutered down to prevent shape-shifting and couldn't even heal better than the earth-made Replicators back in Outcast? They were goddam vulnerable to conventional weapons fire and I assume ARGs as well, so what was the big deal? I really don't get the logic of the Atlantis group sometimes...

The were a few stand-out moments and performances, namely Robert Picardo's strength in charge, and the look in John Sheppard's eyes when he solemnly told Weir that she was not who she thought she was anymore. I was just hoping for more, you know? I guess it was a decent story, and it was nice to get some closure to the Elizabeth dangling thread. The series is just not the same without Torri Higginson however, no matter how close of a performance Michelle Morgan put in. If the series does not get renewed, I really do hope that the true Dr. Elizabeth Weir makes one final appearance. The actress deserves to be recognized for adding a spark and soul to Atlantis that simply cannot reproduced by any mere ghost in the machine...

Of course, that doesn't mean I wouldn't mind Michelle Morgan returning again in a different role. Because hey, if I was Sheppard and I couldn't have the real Weir, then I might as well have a cute as hell copy as close as possible and improved in other ways...

"The Shrine was a very good episode. It was perhaps just a bit too difficult for me to watch, that's all...

My grandfather, he passed away the day before The Shrine. I've already written about it all on my download site, about how much I loved my grandpa and how hard it was to watch him suffer for three days straight until he was gone. I never cried though, I was never able to shed a tear for my grandpa, although there were definitely times when I swore I felt a feeling tug away at the corner of my eye. I guess it's a testament to The Shrine, that watching it was one of those few times that I did almost burst into tears...

By far, the strongest scene was when Jeannie went into the room to talk to her brother. Rodney could barely recognize her anymore, although naturally he could still understand the femininity of his first name. The scene was just so emotional for me, with the way Jeannie tried her hardest to be there for her brother but simply could not take seeing him the way he was. And Rodney, despite his condition, cared more for the feelings of his sister than he did for his own illness. That moment nearly brought me to tears after everything that I had been through those past few days. Being by my grandfather's side for three days straight until he passed away, I knew exactly how Jeannie felt at that point in time. I felt so horrible, the moment between her and her brother brought up so many bad and recent memories, that I almost shut off the episode then and there myself. I guess though, that's when Ronon Dex stepped in for the both of us. Well, you two readers know what I mean...

With the recent cancellation of Stargate Atlantis, David Hewlett has said on record that he will miss the character of Dr. Rodney McKay (or 'Mr. Rodney McKay', for this particular episode at least). I don't blame him at all, considering it's been Meredith that has by far stolen the show for the entire series. Mr. and Mrs. Miller, the Tao of Rodney and now The Shrine are all some of the most well acted and enjoyable hours of Sci-Fi that I ever witnessed in my life. I don't know how either David Hewlett or his sister will ever be able to get roles again as meaningful and memorable as the McKay siblings were in Atlantis. From the very moment he first appeared on screen in The Shrine, Rodney McKay brought to life a script that had so much feeling and honesty put into it. Every single recording he did before the camera was unforgettable, to say the least. Even the little things, like shaking his head in embarrassment and fear when he couldn't even remember the name of the Pegasus Galaxy, has personally made The Shrine into one of the best episodes of Stargate Atlantis I have ever watched in my life...

Every cast member was important, whether it was Ronon insisting that memories of his final day with his grandfather were real, or whether it was Teyla helping McKay past the waterfall when he was too tired to move on. To be honest, after everything with my grandfather, I couldn't help but empathize with Robert Picardo as well. He's been an amazing addition to the cast this year, and it's such a shame that he will only get one season to shine. When he told his story, of how his own father with Alzheimer's had one moment of clarity before he was gone for good, it reminded me so much of my own grandfather's final moments on his deathbed, putting all his strength into saying goodbye one last time. It was a moment I will never forget in my own life, and the way Robert Picardo brought to reality that very similar moment of his, I could swear to God the actor has experienced it too. Every little touch in this episode, like Woolsey asking Sheppard to say goodbye for him, all worked so flawlessly together as a whole. The episode, simply put, had heart. It felt real...

The Shrine was a Jennifer Keller episode as much as it was for Rodney and Jeannie McKay, and considering how cute as a button Jewel Staite always is, I guess I personally can't complain. There have been a lot of complaints about her character though in this episode, how she was too selfish in not allowing Rodney McKay to go to the Shrine of Talos that Ronon was mentioning. Especially after all she had been through in the Pegasus Galaxy, surely she would believe that some 'magical' Ancient artifact out there could cure Rodney of his sickness. Instead of insisting that Ronon's memories were flawed and false, it would've made more sense if the writers had made her concentrate on the "one day" aspect of it all, how sending him to the shrine would have meant giving up on a cure, giving everything up except for his last day. She felt stubborn and naive as a result, emotionally driven and lost from her feelings for Meredith McKay that had been surfacing over the past few weeks...

Still, aside from her overall stupidity, I do admire how the actress handled herself well throughout the episode. Some have argued that McKay admitting his 'love' for Keller was unnecessary, but I thought it brought good closure to the episode. Jennifer loved him back in some sense, and you could see those feelings in the actress' eyes every moment that the two were together. I loved the scene where they shared the fruit cup, personally. I sure as hell wish I could share in Keller's cups as well. And Jewel Staite did an amazing job in showing the pressures of surgery without the equipment she wants or needs, yet demonstrating enough poise to save the life of the man who loves her yet may not even remember the fact...

Of course, 'shippers are quick to point out that it wasn't Keller's name that Rodney was screaming for in the middle of the night. While we all may question John Sheppard after witnessing him in that panda shirt, I've got to admit that seeing him and Rodney together out on the pier was probably the strongest and most poignant brotherly scene in all of Stargate Atlantis. It's just like Sheppard to refuse to give in, to refuse to say his goodbyes, and he made sure of the fact by stubbornly telling McKay that he was stuck with him even still. Maybe I was just overly vulnerable at the time, but I too cracked up when McKay made his joke and called him "Arthur" at the end. It's the little touches in episodes that I remember best, and I can't help but remember the two of them sipping beers out on the pier. It was a beautiful scene on a beautiful night out in Atlantis. It's just unfortunate that the 'slashers now have even more material to work with in their fan-fiction, that's all...

If there was one flaw in this episode, it was with how predictable the ending was. Jennifer Keller may not have believed in magical shrines, but most certainly every single viewer out there does after so many years of Ancient devices on Stargate. The episode dragged at parts simply because we knew the heroes would find a cure miraculously at the last second, and it almost felt too easy that the parasite actually crawled out of McKay's brain instead of putting up a fight...

Still, that doesn't change the fact that I nearly cried when Jeannie was being held in Ronon's arms. It doesn't change the fact that I actually felt something real when McKay was so flustered and frustrated with his memory loss on Day 6, that he even admitted his love for Keller on tape for everyone to hear. It doesn't change the fact that I actually felt horrible for Rodney when he suddenly reverted back to his old self in the shrine, only to realize that he wasn't cured, and that living out his final day would be torture for him. There were just so many special moments in The Shrine that I cannot even begin to mention them all. It was arguably David Hewlett's best performance on the series so far, and that's saying so much, considering he and Sheppard have both been the heart and soul of the expedition for the past five years now...

The Shrine, it was a very good and powerful episode. Too powerful perhaps, considering how difficult it was for me to watch. My friend said it best, that perhaps The Shrine followed too closely to the events of my real life to be just a coincidence. It hit far too close to home for comfort, though I guess I do have to thank the writers, for providing me with some sense of closure...

Watching it a second time, it was a beautiful episode with wonderful acting. When McKay was saying his goodbyes to everyone for the final time, I almost broke down in tears...

I hate it whenever Stargate tries to do a horror episode. What on earth possesses them to create zombie types of scenarios anyways? The Wraith themselves, in the first season at least, were creepy enough as space vampires at times. Why not build on that, instead of giving us Vengeance Part Deux here, without even the sole benefit of Connor Trinneer that that old episode had long ago? WTF?...

Okay, first of all, Whispers just didn't feel like a proper Atlantis episode, simply because most of the Atlantis team wasn't there. Rodney McKay only got a bit part at the start and finish. In fact, I sadly had even forgotten that he existed at all by the time he returned for the final minute or so. That's how much Whispers numbed my brain and put me to sleep. Was that one of the zombie hybrid's powers, to hypnotize me and hate the goddam show? WTF?...

It didn't help that we got four nobodies on the all-Amazon, all-female team that apparently John Sheppard as military leader of Atlantis had never heard about. Why were the writers hyping up Captain Vega played by whats-her-name, when after shooting down a Wraith Dart in the season premiere, was killed off in pure horror-hottie cliche fashion here in Whispers? Did the producers find out that she was a complete bitch to work with after she was given a secure role? Maybe it would've been safer to keep her as Dr. Esposito from Tao of Rodney, when she was cute as absolute fuck and didn't seem like a pretty girl playing soldier. And really, was I supposed to care about the other two soldiers of the team? I can't even remember their names. I just recall being annoyed as hell at the bubble gum chewing one, and wondering to myself how that Teldy leader didn't die (considering the actress has already been offed as many times as Daniel Jackson back on SG-1)...

At least we got the return of Nicole deBoer to Sci-Fi, because you two readers out there might remember how deep of a connection she and I used to have (...). She had quickly won over all our hearts with just one season of Star Trek: Deep Space 9, and I've always wondered what it would be like if she returned to the space genre. She did an alright job for the most part here, except she suffered from a lot of bad horror movie cliches, like running out into The Fog and getting lost for no apparent reason whatsoever. It's just that, while the actress herself was still adorable and lovable as ever, the lines and role she was given were not. I'm sorry, but as much as I hated that soldier gal playing babysitter, I've got to agree with her that everything happening between Dr. Allison Porter and Dr. Carson Beckett was "so obvious", but definitely not funny or entertaining at all. I wish I could've left the shack myself. It was like this show was written by the guys behind some high school musical, maybe even Hamlet 2. I mean, if SGA wanted to invoke the feeling of goddam Smallville with a character named "Allison", why not just get goddam Chloe Sullivan to mack on the clone doctor? I would've preferred that, no offence to Nicole deBoer of course...

Carson Beckett has, what, only five episodes in the season to work with, and this was his second? Was it really worth it to waste his appearance then in Whispers? If there is any saving grace to this episode, it was that the ol' Scotsman was still his old self whenever he was with Rodney or by himself. But I'm sorry, I seem to have developed a migraine this morning, probably from listening to the god-awful dialogue he was given with Dr. Porter just a few days ago. The actor did a decent job of keeping the mood and atmosphere of the episode, as the scene where he's getting stalked like prey in The Fog was probably the only memorable moment that I think I can conjure up. However, the writers and producers even managed to fuck that up, by deciding to make The Mist a byproduct of the hybrid zombie gills. How the fuck they can exhume enough exhaust to fill a whole goddam village and forest up, I have no fucking clue. How the fuck can their second hand smoke shit screw around with flashlight batteries but not laptop equipment, who the fuck knows? Not only that, but worst of all, it looked absolutely ridiculous seeing some Spiderman 3 copy next to the Carson clone, messing up the whole mood of the scene. WTF were they thinking?...

Even John Sheppard didn't feel like himself in Whispers, and that deserves a WTF of its own. He's always had an open mind, except to perhaps Rodney for obvious reasons, yet here he simply shuts down the concerns of the female SGA team without even listening to them at all. He was an absolute idiot when it came to the big plan at the end as well, not knowing where he would go or what to do, until the last moments when Carson had to arrive out of the blue to rescue him. The only parts of the episode I did appreciate were when it was just them two alone in the scene, away from all the fake and forced comments of the female team they were trying to work with and save. Unfortunately, those moments did not come nearly often enough, leaving me with a goddam headache from that bitch of a soldier who claims to have come to the Pegasus Galaxy since she didn't have enough Ori to kill back home anymore, only to be dumb enough to blow bubble gum blasts at zombie predators that hunt through goddam sound. Again, I ask, WTF?...

I know the writers were trying to go for as many horror movie cliches as possible for fun, but really, I ask of them, WHY? If I wanted to have my brains eaten out by the dumbest entertainment I could find on television, I would've rented See No Evil or House of Wax or rewatched Smallville or some shit like that. Hell, I even preferred the launch of 9021-fucking-0 this week over this SGA shit. WTF?...

Well, maybe it's just me though. Maybe because I just lost my grandfather, I wasn't in the mood for an episode where the atmosphere is pervaded by suspense, suffering and death. Maybe, most likely, that's the reason I didn't give Whispers a true fighting chance...

No, wait. I've got a better reason, and I might as well yell it for all to hear...

"Over the past five seasons, how many Teyla-centric episodes have I actually liked? I can probably count them on one hand...

Well, at least now I can add one more. The previews for The Queen made it seem like a low budget episode that didn't even feature the team together as a saving grace. Rachel Luttrell always impressed me when it came to her fighting spirit and choreography, but in terms of acting, I honestly can't even remember a single memorable episode dedicated to her in the past. At least, not until The Queen this week...

First of all, after episodes like Submergence, when Teyla needed the help of her unborn son or something to ward off the mental attacks of a Wraith Queen, I certainly had my doubts for an episode where Teyla actually plays the role of one. It also almost felt like such a forced farce, for the writers to transform the actress into a Wraith Queen but not even throw in one line to tell the viewers how they did it. I doubt plastic surgery alone would've convinced the Wraith that she was one of them, let alone the Queen of the entire alliance. And the way Teyla was looking at her hand there at the end of the episode, after two or more weeks of being fed liquid food? Obviously, something more was done to the character than just the usual make-up chair bit. It would've made The Queen into a far more significant episode if Teyla was forced to feed on a human at one point as part of her ruse, and even worse, enjoyed the sensation. The writers never dared go down that dark path, however...

What I did like though was that Teyla really did do a pretty good job of holding her own at the top of the food chain. She was still the Teyla we knew, and some have complained that she didn't do enough hissing and scowling to really seem like the Queen's of the past. However, she was decisive and in charge and I personally thought the actress did a great job at showing how scared yet poised she was under this kind of pressure. Essentially, Teyla had been thrust into literally her worst nightmare, but she still did everything she could for the future of her son and the Pegasus Galaxy, even risking her own life in order to battle a Wraith Hive ship that was culling a planet. That was probably one of the best moments of this season so far, when Todd looked over and realized Teyla was now abusing the power that he had given her, using her control as Queen to kill as many Wraith as possible with suicide tactics. But she never once flinched or second guessed her decision, until she was by herself and staring at her hand, at least. That's what a real queen should do, to never show fear or doubt in front of her subjects, and I gained a lot of respect for the character for the first time in years...

It certainly helped that Todd was probably the best second in command that we as an audience could ever ask for. How many of us didn't at least snicker when he hoped the fruit he supplied was 'as tasty as the farmers that grew them'? A lot of comparisons have been made between Todd of Atlantis and Ba'al of SG-1, that they're both villains with shades of gray and interesting senses of humour, allowing the audience to actually relate to them and almost root for the bad guys at times. Todd is the only real multi-faceted and dimensional Wraith we've gotten on the series so far, he really is the only villain the show has ever had that has made Wraith politics into something interesting for the audience...

Even though we've seen it before in so many Star Trek warrior societies, it still caught me off guard when Todd stabbed the lead Queen in the neck, simply so that Teyla and himself could attain power. What are Todd's true motives, really? Will he honour his agreement with Atlantis? Todd has told Sheppard that he was his brother in arms in the past, but what does that really mean when the two sides are still at war? The thing that makes Todd great, besides his sick sense of Wraith humour and levity, is that he understands the usefulness of honour and dignity. Whether he's only using these principles to get what he wants, or whether he truly believes in them like the Atlantis team does, guess we'll find out in a couple weeks or so...

There was a lot of chemistry between him and Teyla, strangely enough so that I even got my own 'shippiness vibe from the both of them. There were even times that Todd stared at Teyla, half terrified of what his new Queen would do next, and half impressed at how much he was starting to admire her. It was a shame that Teyla couldn't defend herself enough against that bald Wraith who confronted her at the end, but at least we got a scene where Todd genuinely seemed to want to save Teyla, not just for his own power but out of respect for her skills and accomplishments as well. I loved the look in his eyes when they had their final goodbyes, when she threatened him to make her own return should he ever step out of line. It was an empty threat, most likely a bluff considering the kind of arduous transformation it takes to become a Wraith Queen, but Todd seemed to believe it anyways. He really did seem to gain the same kind of respect for Teyla as he had for Sheppard the first time they met. Todd really is the most human Wraith we've ever met, even going so far as to thank the team for taking out Michael. If only this wasn't the last season of Stargate Atlantis, I'd be hoping that we'd see a lot more of him and Teyla together down the road...

The rest of the team unfortunately was kind of useless in The Queen, although they each had their moments. Ronon got to play the big brother when threatening Todd in Atlantis, McKay got to comment about adapting Asgard transporter beams to Puddle Jumper systems (although for now, he should just concentrate on getting the mini-hyperspace generators working on the PJ's and F-302's), Keller got to play doctor and pretend like she was the next Carson Beckett when it comes to Wraith retroviruses, and Sheppard got to show off again as the reckless but lucky fool yet again in his strafing run against the Wraith Hive ship. Now, it would've made a lot more sense for the 'team' to have played the scene this way: Ronon comes up with the crazy idea, McKay pinpoints the optimal locations to target, and Sheppard does his piloting thing to avoid all Wraith Darts that could fire on their position. The only real flaw of The Queen was that there was no real 'team' in the episode whatsoever, but at least we got some spectacular CG fireworks with the Wraith Hive ship getting blown to pieces by just a few well placed shots from a Puddle Jumper. Now, why the hell they didn't try that back in The Siege or any previous episode, who knows?...

I went into The Queen with rolled eyes, honestly believing this would be yet another routine filler episode starring Teyla. In the end though, I was just as impressed with Rachel Luttrell as Todd was with his new queen...

Now sure, I still can't remember how many Teyla-centric episodes I have ever enjoyed in the past. But at least now, I know one thing...

"Wow, seriously, what is it with odd-numbered Atlantis seasons? It's like every piece of shit turns to gold...

There was never really a pattern when it came to SG-1. The first season had its moments, I loved the second year more than anything else, the third season was almost as good, and I enjoyed the fourth, seventh and ninth seasons for the most part, for what they were worth. Yet when it comes to SGA though, every single odd-numbered season full and through has been exceptional. The first year of Atlantis completely overshadowed the eighth season of SG-1 at the time, I loved everything in the third year of SGA until Dr. Beckett bit the proverbial bullet, and now the fifth season is producing one of the best runs of decent to good episodes that I've watched from a Sci-Fi show to date. Whether we're talking about Daedalus Variations or The Queen or even this week's Tracker, it's like the writers have put something in them Canadian waters and forests to suddenly turn every script that seems like crap into some sort of pot of luck...

On paper, Tracker seems like just another run of the mill filler episode, taking place in the Vancouver forests between two galaxies. Really, it was such a low-budget and cliche episode in terms of synopsis, with Keller being kidnapped by a rogue Runner who turns out to have a heart of gold through some noble sacrifice in the end. We've all seen this song and dance of a diddy before, who knows how many times in Stargate alone. But somehow, it all just worked well here in Tracker, even without the full extent of the team. Sheppard only got in a few wise cracks and weirded out looks at the sight of that alternate 'shipper timeline coming to reality, Woolsey was completely missing in action yet again, and Teyla wasn't even mentioned whatsoever. And yet, none of that really mattered when we got the joy of McKay shooting Wraith on one leg and talking about the badass industrialness of beavers on the other. He truly is a man's man...

I wish Ronon had more memorable moments in Tracker, aside from him just spouting out the usual Teal'c'isms when spotting foot prints and everything. Though as cheap-looking as the producers made all the traps seem, it still at least helped to pass the time to watch Wraith get stuck on spikes like scarecrows. What I was hoping more for was decent fight choreography, something to rival what we got in the first Runner episode or when he had to fight his fellow Satedans last season. His final bout against Kiryk was alright, but it should've been longer and more intense than just a few lacklustre punches. I did enjoy Ronon for what he was worth though, especially in the ending scene worthy of rolling eyes. If he actually was serious about having "intentions" for Keller, even after nothing has happened between the both of them since last year's make out session? Then yeah, my eyes will continue to roll at this Lost-in-Atlantis kind of immature love triangle. But if he was simply ribbing on McKay because he knows how he feels about Jennifer? Then yeah, I couldn't help but smile too, provided that his intention is to actually have no intentions...

I already mentioned McKay's best moments in fighting off beavers in the Vancouver woods that suspiciously look identical to every other forest out there in two galaxies. I wish that he had more skill with that 9mm pistol after five years of being on the frontlines though, it's strange how the writers often seem to revert him back to his season one self. What I most liked about Rodney this episode though was how sorrowful he looked every single time he saw Ronon stealing his thunder in Keller's eyes. Whether it was fighting off Wraith hand to hand or being gentle with a little girl's doll, the big lug certainly got a big smile out of the doctor. Slightly off topic, I know I have no relationship experience myself, but I've certainly been in McKay's spot before as the third wheel of a night out, so to speak. I was too emotional and sadly desperate to control how disappointed I was feeling, and things certainly didn't go as planned for me from that point on. I'm still sorry that that's the way it turned out, I should've known better. I guess because of my own nerdiness misforgivings, I can't help but root for the underdog here. Every time I saw McKay look away discouraged, I couldn't help but relate. Who wouldn't want the uber-cute and smart doctor to by your side? Rodney certainly has a thing for them it seems, first with Carson as his best friend (or according to 'slashers, something more...), and now here with the ever adorable as a button, Dr. Jennifer Keller...

Wait, since when did she learn to fight? WTF? She defended herself better against a Wraith than Teyla did back in the first season. Wasupwidat? Part of me didn't like how Jennifer here has been force fed down the audience's throats, now as some Samantha Carter supergirl who can pretty much handle every situation by herself. Then again, how can I possibly hate on such a pretty girl? How can anyone hate on Kaylee, the cutest and brightest engineer of them all until she helped get Firefly kicked off the air? Now sure, she has unfortunately brought the Firefly cancellation curse over to Atlantis, the same shit that Morena Baccarin brought to SG-1 (only Adam Baldwin seems to be immune from it, at least from SG-1 season seven and now Chuck so far). But still, how can anyone hate on her, even though it's somehow her fault that the show is ending? Ha, the actress even apologized for the series' end long before the cancellation happened. Who couldn't forgive her for that?...

Jewel Staite did a nice job here in Tracker, one of the best performances she's done as one of the leads of an episode at least. You could tell she was nervous, as much so as she appeared in The Queen when talking to Todd. But just like back then, she kept in control of herself, she never panicked, and she even went to save McKay with a giant stick when all was said and done. She was caring and cute and could even run her ass off before getting stunned in the head again, how could you not like that? Like I've mentioned before, it's almost as if the writers have been trying too hard to get the audience to endear themselves to her, turning her into some jack-of-all-trades when it comes to her skills. I may not be a fan of that, but I certainly am more of a fan of her now compared to Missing last shitty ass season. I don't like how the writers are forcing the Keller and Rodney romance so much, but I do admit that I can't help but dream that I can be as lucky as McKay one day, to get a girl like her somehow. Ha, funny thing is, Sheppard already knows those two have hooked up and fell in love in a different timeline, and yet all he does here is make weird faces instead of helping out with his best friend's "intentions". Guess he knows when to let nature take its course...

And for an episode that takes place almost entirely in the forests of my damn backyard? I've got to admit, I was impressed and I was mostly entertained. It helped that Kiryk, cliche as he was for Stargate, was a likable character that most of us viewers wouldn't mind seeing again. All he wanted was to save a little girl, going so far as to risk his life twice just to get her to the gate. It also helped that the portable transporter he had on his arm was a very nifty device, reminding me of some of Nightcrawler's best moments in X2. It seemed to only be able to go places that he could see, but if only the SGC could reverse engineer a device like that and combine it with the Sodan / Ancient cloaks of SG-1? Well, the writers never seem to give these kinds of amazing capabilities to their ground teams, not like they need them considering the P90 has become officially the most powerful weapon in the entire universe. But hey, a McKay-fanboy of a nerd like me can still dream, now can't he?...

So really, what do they put in the forestry waters over there in Vancouver of the Pegasus Galaxy? Because seriously, we had basically a repeat of every bounty hunter or runner episode of the past here in Tracker, the kind of shit that I would hate beyond all doubt in seasons 2 and 4...

Yet here, in season five? I end up enjoying this episode as one of the most fun hourly adventures of the entire goddam season. WTF?...

It's a shame that Stargate Atlantis is ending this year. But at least, it's truly going out on top...

"Why, why does this have to be Stargate Atlantis' final season? This year has so far been one of the best the series has ever produced, and First Contact was definitely no exception. Hell, I'd even argue that it was the best mid-season finale that Atlantis has written since the Genii were a threat in The Storm. Why must cancellations always turn out so ironic, that they wipe out television when it's at its very best? WTF?...

I haven't really talked about the cancellation of Stargate Atlantis yet, simply because there's not much to say. The second season of the show was shit, and the fourth season was barely any better. The quality of the show has been so hit and miss over the years that I don't blame Sci-Fi for canning the series in favour of a hipper, more trendy piece of shit that will probably try to be closer to the new Battlestar Galactica. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily ones of those old-timers who think SGU will turn out as brutally embarrassing as the "youth" clip in SG-1's 200th episode was (partially because I sadly thought that part was cool). And if by copying Battlestar Galactica, the Stargate writers mean to bring Grace Park back into the fold, then sign me the fuck up for Universe...

It's just that, I'm still reeling over the loss of SG-1, and now we're losing Atlantis when it's finally refinding its groove? I know it's mainly the Sheppard and McKay show (with guest apperances by Carson Beckett), with random other useless characters having decent episodes sprinkled here and there, but SGA is still one of the best Sci-Fi sources of entertainment that I have ever enjoyed. I don't want it to end, not when episodes like First Contact introduce new badass enemies along with some familiar old faces back into the mix...

The new villains in First Contact may not really be bad guys for all we know, but they certainly acted like it the way they tore through Atlantis as if the base were paper. Judging from their ship being able to pass through the city shield, either these aliens were using a giant Ancient Puddle Jumper or were once very close allies with the Lantians, enough so to have shared technology. Then again, I don't think we've ever seen any commando-type aliens of this kind of badass nature before at least, except for those annoying Kull Warriors back in SG-1 that were far too invulnerable at the start and then became one hit kill wonders by the end. To be honest, does anyone else get a hint of Norse Viking-ness from the helmets those guys were wearing? Then again, I don't know of any vikings who would hell-jump out of an air-ship, crash land into a city-ship, then show some absolute badassery shield technology to prove that humanity does have a match out there for infantry combat. I for one am extremely excited to find out who these guys are when the Lost Tribe airs in a couple of weeks. Although judging from the name of the title, I can already infer a few guesses as to whom they are (giant fuzzy Furlings from 200, please... k thx bye)...

First Contact was also a special episode thanks to the return of Michael Shanks as Daniel Jackson. The only problem was, he really didn't act like Daniel Jackson. To be honest, I don't really know who he was or what he was trying to be, though thank God he didn't turn out to emulate his 24 shitfest of a spy counterpart. Danny-boy here was far too giddy at the start, but not in the sweet-speaking, quick-talking sort of manner that we've become accustomed to over ten or more years. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed his return to the Stargate small screen, especially considering it came along with that old SG-1 music that I'm still so nostalgic for, even though Continuum came out not long ago. Daniel definitely had his fair share of great moments in First Contact, whether he was playing the comic relief in claiming he does what he does for money, or whether he was trying to play the hopeless diplomat yet again by reasoning with the Borg in blue. And yet, the Daniel we got here was simply not the Daniel that we had back in SG-1 and the latest Stargate films. How or why that is, I'm not sure, although I did see a nice glimmer of his true self when he fell through the secret wall and onto his glasses in pain. Somehow, that scene had an old-skool SG-1 musical vibe to it that I really did enjoy. Maybe Daniel just doesn't feel like Daniel unless he dies?...

McKay was the other half of the dynamic duo in this episode, although in part he was reverted back to his old self from SG-1. There was no need for him to be so jealous over Daniel Jackson coming to Atlantis to correct him on his work, but that is how the old Rodney McKay would've acted if this were an episode of SG-1. Still, Meredith managed to earn his fair share of starlite moments, whether he was getting a little revenge on Daniel Jackson when it came to the puzzle of the missing wall, or whether he was widening his eyes at the end game machine that Janus had created all those millennia ago. Daniel may not have been the Daniel Jackson we knew, and Rodney McKay may have felt a little off too (except when he was getting shot by the Kull Warrior wannabes, that is). But the two actors together still put on a great show that made First Contact into probably the best mid-season finale that Stargate Atlantis has ever done. I'm just happy and feeling lucky that we don't have to wait months for the conclusion, otherwise I'd have to go back to the SG-1 archives for my future fix between the both of them...

The rest of the cast didn't have nearly as much to do, although everyone contributed in some manner or another. Teyla was simply there, but she got to look like a badass MILF when trying to gun down the intruders with the god-powerful P90. Sheppard was bored most of the time running the base while resting his eyes, but when it came to the invasion from a race that apparently can open hyperspace windows in atmospheres, he was back on the top of his game with a badass G36 locked and loaded in his hands. The two of them provided one of the coolest ground battle scenes that Atlantis has produced in the entire series, and that says a lot when you compare to such gems like Sateda or Midway or even Teyla's stick fighting way back in season one. If only Ronan wasn't stuck doing nothing on the Daedalus, besides apparently making the smooth moves on Keller while Rodney was stuck babysitting back on base, then the entire main cast and crew really could've felt like they contributed to the whole. The only real flaw of First Contact was that there wasn't really the feeling of the team...

On the Daedalus, we got a bit of comic relief with Woolsey playing the emergency holographic speech writer, looking like a goof of a politician in the process. I'm not sure if I particularly liked this direction the writers are going for, essentially turning Robert Picardo from a stern and respectable leader into a goofy sort of laugh on the side, but meh, his scenes still made me smile. Dr. Keller was simply there, I forget what she attributed except for perhaps eye candy as Michael Shanks pretended not to notice the uber-cute Jewel Staite in the hallways. She did have a few decent interactions with Todd though, specifically when it came to the future of his race. I think Todd said it best as to why they were afraid of change, of changing who they are. "What would we do, what would we be?", he asked. He wasn't nearly as dominant of a figure or as charming of a personality as he was back in The Queen, but the simple fact that he showed up to honour his side of the deal from that episode was enough to continue his legacy as the best villain that SGA has to date. Besides the goddam Sci-Fi big-wigs cancelling the show, I mean...

We finally have Todd as a true face that the fans can loathe yet sympathize and relate to unlike any other Atlantis villain to date. With the introduction of these new battle armoured bad guys, we finally have a new villain that is mysterious and powerful and interesting enough to make me watch intently for several seasons more. Dammit, the Sheppard and McKay dynamic duo of Batman and Robin lore (in almost all aspects, according to some parts of the internet...) is probably the best in the Stargate universe next to the original O'Neill and Daniel Jackson pairing, and both of the actors are still in their primes. So why the hell is the show being cancelled now of all years? WTF?...

Well, at least, Stargate Atlantis is really going out on top, with hopefully a movie or two afterwards to wrap things up. It just won't be the same though, alas. Ark of Truth was shit, while Continuum was a nice overall diversion but still not the real thing...

I will miss Stargate Atlantis as much as I do SG-1. Unless that is, Universe gives me a copy of Grace Park as due compensation, of course...

So here's to fuzzy Furling baddies along with awesome cell phone service on at least 200 other planets...

And here's to Stargate Atlantis, as we cherish the last half of its final season for as long as we can..."

"Where do I begin with The Lost Tribe? I loved First Contact the week before, and thus my expectations for its conclusion were a bit too high. I don't know if that's all though, if that's the only reason why I'm disappointed. The Lost Tribe was a good episode, but it could've been so much more...

First, let me talk about the lost tribe themselves, the Asgard I mean. I admit, my jaw hit the floor when it was revealed that the little grey men from the Ida Galaxy were the new baddies of the season, and I especially liked the touch of the Fifth Race music returning with a dark twist. But then it hit me, it all just felt like such a cop-out by the writers to me. Yes, it makes plenty of sense that there would be a rogue faction of the Asgard who would exile themselves to conduct experiments in private. I'm not one of those guys who automatically assume that all little grey aliens are great and noble peacemakers. What I'm disappointed at though is their reasoning for wanting to destroy the Wraith. The Asgard, as McKay put it, are one of the most intelligent and wise species ever to evolve in the known universe, yet the only course of action they could think of was to annihilate the Wraith at the cost of millions of innocent lives? I'm not saying the Aterro Device was a bad idea to achieve their goal, it's just that there were much more easier methods of getting what they wanted, like asking Atlantis for shelter or even asking earth for help to leave the galaxy. Why be hellbent on genocide and steal from the very people who could've helped them in the first place? WTF?...

I can't also help but be so disappointed in the end climax of The Lost Tribe. I know that these new Asgard's technology is ten thousand years older than the Ida Galaxy ones in SG-1, thus it makes sense they wouldn't have beam transporters or even Beliskner-quality motherships at their disposal. They've been hidden in isolation for so long, building exoskeletons in case they would have to face the Wraith one-on-one, and hobbling around with essentially transport ships for their bodies and minds. I get it, but it still doesn't help with the disappointment of how badly the Asgard got owned by even a single Traveller ship at the end. Thanks to Sheppard and his evasive maneuvers I guess, not one but two Asgard vessels were destroyed before barely even leaving a dent on the stupid A-wing and FireFly crossover. It was just such a disappointing climax to how unstoppable of a force they seemed to be in First Contact, that's all...

Speaking of stupidity, I might as well mention Todd suddenly losing his brain and deciding to ram the Aterro facility with the Daedalus, potentially inciting a full out war with his only true allies in the galaxy. Why stoop to such pathetic lows when a villain of his calibre should have realized he could attack the facility with reprogrammed F-302 fighters or even beam down a couple of nukes? Why did the best bad guy on the show suddenly become such a cowardly idiot? I thought he trusted Sheppard on his word that the expedition team was not guilty of turning on the device, or was that simply a ploy on Todd's behalf? I know the Aterro Device scared him out of his wits, but he even could have risked sending troops down first manually in the Wraith transport rather than just making complete enemies out of the people of earth. WTF?...

As for the Aterro Device itself? I've got to admit, it's a pretty crafty idea of Janus', building a device that would effectively eliminate the Wraith's ability to move about the galaxy in ships. Even compared to such other Ancient uber-devices in the past (the Window of Opportunity time loop device, the Dakara matter-disrupter thingy, and even Atlantis itself at full power), Janus definitely had the right idea in building this end-game machine of his. And to be honest, it's actually a benefit that it disrupts Stargates, considering that would effectively prevent the Wraith from moving anywhere in the galaxy at all during the war. So really, why bother turning it off when it would have been so much easier to build a virus or device to shut down every Stargate in the Pegasus Galaxy first? In the past, all other Ancient superweapons during the war were either ineffective or incomplete, but this one here by Janus actually worked on every single level imaginable. Probably the most idiotic thing that Pegasus Galaxy Ancients ever did was just leave Stargates everywhere without any security system to keep some level of control. I mean seriously, who builds a 'road' network in the modern age that any enemy can take advantage of with the press of a button? WTF?...

And oh, ol' Danny boy, how we missed you so. Carter got booted off the show as a 'victim of her own success', as Soldier Sam eliminated the Asuran Replicators and the Michael hybrids along with perhaps half of the Wraith fleet on her watch. Now that the Pegasus Galaxy was essentially devoid of true threats, of course our favourite daring archaeologist had to come about and bring a little excitement back into everyone's lives. It's almost like a running joke now, although I kind of enjoy it actually. When the US ended the Cold War with the Soviet Union, there was Daniel to make first contact with the Goa'uld and start a galactic war. When the Goa'uld finally fell, who else but Daniel Jackson decided to venture out into a galaxy far, far away and encounter the happy folk of the Ori? It was Dr. Jackson who discovered the location of Atlantis and thus opened earth up to attack by the Wraith. And ha, now he's back to fix Carter's lack of mistakes, introducing the SGA team to evil Asgards who are now severely pissed that we ruined their plans for galactic domination. Sure, I sound a bit negative about all this, but really, a Stargate episode canonically cannot be good unless a) Daniel Jackson meets a new enemy, b) Daniel Jackson dies, or c) both (which happens more often than not). Can't wait to see what he does in the next Stargate SG-1 movie...

Well, that's the thing about The Lost Tribe. I keep ranting on and on about its plotpoints, because I really felt like it was great for those but terrible for character development. This was the episode where most of the action came from Dr. Keller trying to be a hero, sporting a P90 and sacrificing herself for the good of the ship. Ronon was a complete idiot with his tactics, highlighting Jennifer as the only sane one amongst the bunch, as she turned out to be the hero who saved the day and got the rest of the Daedalus crew out of sealed storage. I don't mind Keller, I really don't, but it has become such a strange phenomenon how much we the audience seemed to have Jewel Staite fed down our throats. While I certainly wouldn't mind the inverse of that situation, I still didn't like how the entire team dynamic was essentially missing in action here in The Lost Tribe, partially because Jennifer Keller overshadowed every other "hero" on the show. Probably the only part I enjoyed with her was when she looked so lost in translation in Daedalus engineering, meanwhile the obvious Kaylee-wannabe over on the Traveller ship was sporting her best Jewel Staite impression she could manage...

Like I said, the worst part of The Lost Tribe was that the team was so separate and distinct from one another. Ronon was just an idiot, randomly shooting shit over on the Daedalus, potentially causing Todd's stupidity with the collision course crap later on in the episode. Keller was just there, trying to look cute but with puffed up hair that seriously overwhelmed the parts of her body I'd much rather be staring at. Teyla had a couple random cameos, I forget what she did otherwise like most episodes ever made. I forgot to mention Zelenka in First Contact even though he did a great job, especially when arguing that there was no way to dumb down the math for Mr. MENSA to understand, but he was bland here in The Lost Tribe in all his awkwardness with a 15-year old Kaylee girl...

And Sheppard? Besides just staring at the cute Traveller chick or pining over Larrin the bitch, all he did was sit in the cockpit of the FireFly and pretend like he was a leaf in the wind. Probably the only decent scene featuring any of the above characters was when Todd had them by the balls, or Woolsey by the neck at least. Like I mentioned earlier, even Todd the Wraith felt like an idiot with how he was written in this episode, but at least we got a chuckle out of seeing him wrap his arm around Robert Picardo like they were best holographic friends. And oh right, where the fuck was Colonel Caldwell? What the hell happened to him, he's too lazy and busy with demons to get back on the bridge? WTF?...

There was truly one saving grace to The Lost Tribe, and that alone made this episode into something decent and average for me. Daniel Jackson may not have felt like Daniel Jackson, and Dr. McKay may not have felt exactly like Dr. McKay, but the both of them together were an absolute riot and I personally enjoyed all the banter they shared. Whether it was panicking over empty suits or showing care for one another in Iron Man rip-off moments, I really do wish they bring back the dynamic between the both of them one of these days...

Even alone, the writers did a decent job with the two actors. Probably the best moments of The Lost Tribe and the closest ones to having our true Daniel back, were when he was arguing to the Asgard that they it was wrong what they were doing (although why he didn't offer a solution to them, like giving them a ride out of Pegasus, I will never know). Yeah, it still makes no sense to me why the evil Asgard would make suits with helmets that detach when obviously their giant heads could never fit in them, but hey, it was a good look on Rodney and I "respect" that. I thought Daniel and Rodney's moments together were great, even at the end with the bonding over the fruit cup and McKay's refusal to give out compliments except to the dying. I really didn't like any other character but the two of them here in The Lost Tribe, and sure, I guess I still didn't really feel Daniel was the old Daniel of SG-1. But hey, I had a good time watching both actors go to action, if that sounds good at least. They got me to laugh, and that's really the only real reason why I enjoyed The Lost Tribe for what it was...

First Contact was a great episode, much like the Star Trek movie of the same name. The Lost Tribe though? Well, at least it wasn't Insurrection quality. Let's just call it Stargate Generations then, considering the Daniel Jackson cameo and all...

I expected a lot more from this episode. What I got instead were tons of plot holes, idiotic decisions made by the characters, and a complete lack of team dynamic. At least I got a laugh out of it all, some intentional and some not. Good ol' Daniel, some things just never change...

Considering how stellar the fifth and final season of Atlantis has been so far? I wouldn't mind if The Lost Tribe was forgotten and lost...

"I'll keep this simple: Carson Beckett should NOT be an outsider to the main cast and crew...

Outsiders was a basic episode of the regular SGA mold. There was absolutely nothing special about it, nothing to stand out and be worthwhile amongst the endless other filler episodes of the season, except for one reason and one reason alone. Carson Beckett is a great character, played by a great actor, and it's still such a shame that he hasn't returned as a regular cast member on the base. There was only one truly memorable scene in this entire episode, and that was when Beckett and McKay were squishing together snug and tight in that Wraith Dart canopy. The comedy and banter between the two spoke volumes about the heart and soul that has been missing from the Atlantis expedition ever since the third season of the show. Jewel Staite may be brilliant eye-candy, but losing Carson Beckett truly was one of the biggest mistakes that the Stargate writers have ever made in their lives...

The episode was written poorly to the point where I was bored by the Hoffan drug plot ten seconds in, and yet still Carson managed to make me smile. Ha, sure it sounds like I have a man-crush on him, but even horribly scripted scenes like of the doctor fending off endless waves of Wraith by simply shooting out in the open as if he were Teal'c, still felt like tried and true Atlantis at the core because he and McKay were in it together. I'm sorry, but the moment when he stood up against the Wraith and swore to do no harm as a doctor was one of the most definitive character developments throughout this entire season so far. If only McKay and Daniel Jackson had risked their lives just one week prior by swearing the same oath, maybe the Travelers wouldn't have lost two thousand of their people in a Stargate explosion? Even the little things, like Beckett giving that ol' Canadian-Scottish smirk of his when McKay lied through his teeth about not having a crush on a certain other doctor, gave Outsiders the kind of warmth and old skool feeling that I truly do miss from Atlantis. This was probably the weakest written episode yet in terms of plot featuring Carson returned from the grave, but it was also the most true to the character and greatest testament to the soul that he once was...

The rest of the cast, besides Beckett and McKay, were largely ignored in this episode however, which was one of the reasons why I didn't like Outsiders overall on a whole. We were once again back in an earth-looking settlement, so much so that the badasses of the village even had hillbilly shotguns in tow, yet Teyla and Ronon had no interaction with any of the townsfolk but to blink their eyes and point their weapons. I'm still confused as to why both characters are so largely being ignored this season. Maybe Rachel has an excuse, considering she just had her child and she already put a lot of effort into The Queen, but what's Ronon's excuse? Why have the writers marginalized him to simply the third spoke on the threesome and tiresome love triangle of a wheel? Thank goodness that ended last week, yet we still got mindless and silent Ronon here instead...

Sheppard did get to take charge (or plant the C4 charges, really), and he did it in a dark kind of way that surprised me. I'm not sure if I liked that sort of feeling in Stargate, of the leader of the team willingly leading a group of unknowing and unsuspecting idiots to their sacrificial deaths, but it can be argued that the village badasses had it coming (it was their choice to take the key and lead the Wraith to the mines). Still, I'm surprised that Sheppard would allow such collateral damage without even trying to save some of those townsfolk with a confined firefight in the mines. Why reduce the place to rubble with C4 (the safe solution, but not the Stargate solution), when P90's probably would've made short work of the Wraith in those tight corridors anyways? Even worse, the Colonel coerced the town leader into sending his own people to the slaughter. Now don't get me wrong, I obviously see the convenience and logic in simply luring the Wraith to a bomb, but that's never really been Sheppard's way. Why introduce such a dark and controversial solution in an episode where Beckett and McKay go romping together in a Wraith Dart canopy, restricted only by weight? WTF?...

To me, Outsiders will always remain exactly as the title says, as an outsider to the rest of the decent episodes of Stargate Atlantis. The writing was poor and the plot was merely filler. Hell, Sheppard and his team didn't even have a plan to get Beckett and Rodney off of the Wraith Hive Ship, even though he promised that he would. Wasupwidat?...

But if there was any saving grace to this episode, it was the return of Carson Beckett. So matter how badly the writers screwed up his lines and his character's life, it's always great to see McGillion back and working with David Hewlett like before...

Why on earth the producers decided to kill off his character along with the heart and soul of the SGA team, I may never know...

"Yay, another clip-show. The strange thing is though, if this was back during season one of Atlantis, I'd actually be happy for another set of clips...

Inquisition wasn't a bad episode by any means, at least not in relation to other clip shows from the past. It was about on par with SG-1's Disclosure, but far below the more classic ones like Citizen Joe or Atlantis' own Letters from Pegasus. SGA has shown years in the past exactly how to make a good clip-show, although I have no idea how it "saved" the series money when they even used a ton of CG effects to show a Wraith culling of a planet. Here in Inquisition, we got nothing more than yet another generic Medieval village setting and a force field that came out of nowhere. It wasn't a bad clip show by any means, but it certainly was disappointing...

In fact, why did it have to be a clip show in the first place? What was probably the most disconcerting, was the fact that neither Teyla nor Ronon got to spend any time in front of the governing tribunal, even though they themselves would probably have the most to say about the Atlantis expedition. Why were they not involved, and why wasn't Rodney allowed to babble in front of the honourable threesome for hours without end? Instead, this episode was merely the Sheppard and Woolsey show, with a bunch of explosions from previous episodes littered in between. There really was no reason to make this a clip-show, when there was plenty of material to just have the actors read off of blue screens in a darkly lit room, filmed with a grainy SD-quality video camera. It would've easily saved money then, and the episode really would've felt a lot more real and grittier as a result, so why didn't the writers do that? That's my own inquisition if asked, I think...

There are definitely a lot of fans on the net who wanted the heads of the Atlantis team to be cut off or shot on sight, simply because of all the ignorant gaffes the team has made over the years. While to these fans, I'd simply say that if they want serious consequences and emo-serious writing, they should just watch the Iraq-war wannabe shit from BSG over and over again, instead of Stargate when SG-1 and Atlantis have never been anything more than fun and fluffy, Sci-Fi cannon fodder in the past. Still, it's hard to not admit that the SGA team has really made a lot of dumbass mistakes in the past, and if Inquisition was good for anything, it was that these points were raised at all on the series. Sure, a lot of fans were disgusted that the Sheppard and Woolsey cared so little for this Pegasus Galaxy United Nations that they toasted off their bribed victory with a cigar. But hey, that's politics for you, no matter which galaxy you're in. In any real world, if that's what the fans want, there's always a hidden agenda for power...

Dr. Weir said it herself in the very first episode of Atlantis, that venturing out into the Pegasus Galaxy would surely cause a lot of future angst and turmoil. In SG-1's Lost City, the same character (albeit different actress) even claimed that the United States' Manifest Destiny cannot continue out into the stars, especially behind the global public's backs. Now sure, it's hard to blame the SGA team for waking up the Wraith when a) they themselves were attacked and they were simply trying to get back their own people, and b) they were new to the galaxy and had no concept at the time of who or what exactly the Wraith were. Atlantis could definitely be blamed for ignorance, but it was only a matter of time until the Wraith woke themselves up again anyhew, and some would argue that it was better to fight the Wraith now when the food supply was low rather than let the endless generations of cullings continue into the future. The trial had a good point though, that since the waking of the Wraith, the people of earth have acted like a dictatorship, making unilateral decisions about the fate of the Pegasus Galaxy without consulting anyone who actually lives there. In the end, the war against the Wraith may be won, but the survivors may not be so grateful that their galaxy would be decimated and ruined for at least the lifetime of their children, without even being asked if a victory at all costs was what they wanted in the first place...

The Atlantis team has been pretty damn dumb on past occasions since Rising, and I've definitely complained about that on this website of mine. It's hard to fault them for the Replicators though, considering a) they were targetting earth so we activated the Wraith war in our own defence, and b) it makes no sense that the writers let the Replicators alter their own base code when McKay's changes were never uploaded to them in the first place (WTF?). Then again, they did find that nanite disease in Hot Zone that specifically targeted only humans, making it somewhat obvious to any viewer out there that the Replicators' main tactic against the Wraith was to destroy their food supply, which is probably why the Ancients shut their experiment down with force. But hey, as long as the tribunal never figures that out, and as long as we get planet destroying explosions in CG, who the fuck cares?...

The absolute worst mistake that Atlantis and the writers ever made on the show though, besides the entire second season that is, was the advent of Michael. I mean seriously, who in their right mind would create a human out of a Wraith and then be so stupid as to let him escape instead of killing him on sight? It's arguable that as a Wraith scientist, Michael could've done just as much damage if he wasn't captured and shown the light about hybrids and shit like that, but it's still the team's fault for not securing him when they had him in the first place. I really would prefer if the entire second season of SGA was wiped out from orbit and that includes Michael, even though I love Connor from Enterprise as an actor. It was just so mind-bogglingly irresponsible what the Atlantis team did that it still makes me roll my eyes to this very day. How on earth the writers thought they could get away with such a gaffe, I will never know. If anyone should be put on trial, it's whoever wrote that fucking Michael episode in the first place, uggh...

The trial itself was mostly boring, but the only plus we got out of this episode was Richard Woolsey proving exactly why he's on the show. Robert Picardo is a great actor, and he clearly knew what he was talking about in the spotlight, even when faced with a hot psycho bitch who just wanted revenge for her family. He tried to argue the point that the SGA team has been trying to fix their own mistakes (as Michael was essentially the Osama Bin Laden of the Pegasus Galaxy), but of course that didn't sway the vote any more than Dubya Bush going into Iraq to 'fix' his father's earlier mistake did. That kind of argument obviously doesn't settle well with the people the US claims to "save" here on earth...

It's just that, it was obvious that the tribunal wouldn't be that fucking dumb to side against Atlantis. Not only do we have the most powerful Ancient city-ship ever made at our disposal, not only do we have all the technology of the Asgard in our own fleet of uber-advanced warships, not only do the Wraith fear and respect us enough to become our allies when opportunity demands it, but we also have the most superior infantry fighting force in two galaxies combined. If Sheppard is right and the Replicators took out a dozen Hive Ships, then directly and indirectly, the Atlantis expedition has eliminated about twenty-five Hive Ships by my last count. How the hell could anyone with a brain possibly side against and make an enemy of clearly the only true threat to the Wraith they've ever known? The people of Pegasus couldn't be that stupid, unless the writer from Michael came back to write this episode, at least...

Overall, Inquisition was a disappointment, even for a clip-show. But it definitely did raise a lot of good questions, although I seriously doubt any fanatic on the net who obsesses over this stuff would suddenly not want the SGA team's heads on a platter...

I was hoping for a nice close to the SGA story, or the wormhole if you will. Letters from Pegasus was probably the best clip-show I've ever seen from any show, and I was hoping that Atlantis could make lighting strike a second time before it leaves this world...

Well, they could always make a Stargate Atlantis movie into a goddam clip-show and sell it for $29, I guess...

... but I'm sure there would be angry pitch-forks and an inquisition into that..."

"I know, I know, I'm almost a month late on this review. You'd think I would've written it sooner, considering I've had enough free time while laid off from work. But I dunno, I've had no real feeling to write for a while now, I just wanted to sit back and enjoy what television I could...

It's a shame I didn't write my review for this episode when it was still fresh in my mind. I really liked The Prodigal, I was even thinking at the time that it could be my favourite episode of Atlantis' fifth season so far. I mean, some criticized Michael for being an idiot in this episode, not slicing off Ronon's head before he could wake up from the stun blast, or for being too stupid not to just take Teyla's child and leave everyone there to die (he really should've brought a bomb with him). But the thing that I most enjoyed about The Prodigal was that it had a poor man's Shakespearean feel to it, in the sense that Michael was so hell-bent on vengeance more than anything else, that his anger and his feelings for Teyla turned into classic tragic flaws that ultimately led to his undoing. I even liked how Connor Trinneer got to play a bit of the sympathy card this episode with such strong scenes with Teyla, whether was trying to convince her to join him or leave her to rot wherever she was hiding.

Some also criticized this episode that it was too "cliche epic", but how is that a bad thing for a series that has been a bit too campy and formulative as of late? Michael's last stand on top of the Atlantis tower was amazingly well shot, cinematography-wise, and the look on his face when Teyla showed up to finish him off was simply priceless and memorable. Besides that, how could I not love all the action we got in the rest of the episode? Ronon may have lost his 'bout with Michael, but the choreography was great and he certainly held his own aside from a few lucky shots from the hybrid. And how could I not love his reaction when whats-her-name (that gate techie girl) showed off her real kick-boxing skills and looked fucking smokin' hot while doing so? The Prodigal was a great send-off for Connor Trinneer, if only because he got to prove how badass he was, bringing John Sheppard to the brink in an epic one-on-one fight. Michael knew that this was his last stand, and he gave it his all in what was perhaps the most thrilling choreography sequence that Atlantis has done in years. In all honesty, I was impressed.

Pretty much every character had a great role to play in The Prodigal, and it's just unfortunate it's been too many weeks since the episode aired for me to remember everyone's contributions clearly. Ronon got to kick ass and then take a well deserved nap, Sheppard got to rip Michael a new one with his favourite G36 Assault Rifle, and Teyla finally got another episode to shine when it came to protecting her son and showing disgust whenever it came to Michael. Dr. McKay and Dr. Zelenka provided great moments of comic relief, whether it was about saluting Sheppard for one final suicide run or bickering at one another over the use of "stun bubble". Robert Picardo even got to play the hero a bit by trying to save Teyla and her son the best he could, offering to lead the way, leading to a painful injury and an even more painfully acute mission briefing by Ronon in the end. I forget if Dr. Keller was involved in any way, but all I do recall is that not a single actor or actress involved in The Prodigal was ignored or shunned in any single manner. Hell, even Major Lorne got to make an impact on the end result, even if he went down for the stun bubble count faster than Mr. Woolsey even did...

It was just the little things in this episode that I adored, it was the little touches from start to finish that I really do remember well. I already mentioned the small little comedy bit when it came to Ronon and mission reports, but what about Sheppard and McKay with their friendly round of racing cars? What about Teyla getting a moment to enjoy her son's presence in peace, as the smile she had on her face when the kid finally went to sleep was priceless? And like I mentioned before, how can I not respect this episode when Connor Trinneer finally got the role and send-off he truly did deserve from the show? He's a great actor but he hasn't had many great episodes to run with in Atlantis. But the very moment he first appeared on screen here in The Prodigal, the very moment we saw his weakness when it came to his feelings for Teyla, then I just felt there was something special in the writing here in this episode. It wasn't Shakespeare by any means, but it was epic and poetic with a true sense of justice to it. This was a great way to end off the Michael arc, and I'm just glad they pulled it through in the last season of Atlantis. It really gave both the character and the series a sense of closure...

Now I know, I know, I wish I had written about this episode weeks ago when it first aired. You think I would've, considering how much I loved it back then. But considering all this time has passed and I still feel this was one of the best episodes of Atlantis ever made?...

"The whole Stargate Atlantis team didn't even get to meet up together until the very end of this episode, yet Remnants very much felt like a total team effort and definitely another highlight in this great and final season of Stargate Atlantis...

On the John Sheppard side of things, the plotline could have been a bit stronger in terms of consequences. I mean here we had an episode where the Colonel was literally beating himself up in his own personal Fight Club, but we never do figure out what he hates himself for, and we never do realize what he's running away from. No matter what though, it was a great acting performance by Joe Flanigan, and it was great to see Kolya again even if he was just a mirage. Last week was a great send-off for Connor Trinneer, and Remnants was a much better finish for the Genii evil mastermind than death-by-Lucius ever was. Here we got that ruthless Kolya again, not hesitating to cut off Sheppard's hand simply so he could pilot a Puddle Jumper. Sure, it was merely John's image of Kolya that he was projecting, but we still got a lot of great character moments between the two of them that really gave the fifth and final season of Atlantis another sense of closure. And really, in all honesty, I've missed the old Kirkin' and pimpin' John Sheppard, so it was great to see him "volunteer" for this mission just to watch over a young lady in short shorts. The embarrassment on his face when he realized he was duped by an ancient hallucination was great, but the smile he grinned when he later saw the same dumbfounded look on McKay was even more priceless...

Now, I didn't realize it at first glance but by the middle of this episode, I knew something was strange with Zelenka in the sense he never really touched anything or did anything of consequence. I definitely got a Fight Club or Sixth Sense from it all, and pegged him as another hallucination long before McKay did. Even so, I've got to give props to the writers for doing an astounding job on creating a "fake" Zelenka that felt as real to the genuine article as possible. I loved the out-of-the-blue moments when he complemented McKay, just to get Rodney the ego and spirit to start looking for the ancient artifact himself. The banter between the two of them was fun and enjoyable, just like it is with the real Zelenka in turn. And poor Rodney, thinking he was all left out from seeing visions and hallucinations from the ancient device, only to be caught off-guard with his "cool" or whatever statement when all was said and done. Ha, you've got to love a story where the big-headed scientist at the end thinks he's simply too intelligent to con, only for himself to be the very last one to be let in on the joke. Who would've known that extinct silicon-based lifeforms had such a sense of humour?...

The Prodigal was a good showing for Richard Woolsey, but I'm going to go out on a limb and argue that Remnants was perhaps the best episode that Robert Picardo has done on Atlantis so far. I felt bad for him, I really did when he realized that the uber-attractive British woman (who Cameron Mitchell already had under his resume, might I add) was just a manifestation of his lonely subconscious. Seriously, I've had a lot of hallucinations and real women tell me the same thing, and believe me that it ain't a welcome feeling (...). What we saw in Remnants was the best true Richard Woolsey moment since he donned on a suit to get "more comfortable". He didn't back down from politics and the IOU, he showed compassionate care for everyone on the base, and he made the selfless and Stargate decision in giving that silicon-based civilization a second chance to rebuild. He really was a fully fleshed out, human-feeling leader in Remnants, more so than Colonel Carter ever got to demonstrate when she was in charge. And the final scene, when he joined the rest of the cast and crew for a meal in the messhall, was exactly the kind of togetherness sense of closure you want to feel from the final season of Stargate Atlantis...

Now sure, there were definitely some flaws with Remnants. Where were Teyla and Ronon again, why were they completely ignored? Why was the AI so particularly cruel with Sheppard, when it could read his mind and know that he has shown compassion for so many alien lifeforms besides the Wraith in the past? And while it was a nice decision to let the silicon-based lifeform grow on another planet instead of stealing their technology (our compassion did help lead to earth getting all Tok'ra and Asgard technology in the end, afterall), why couldn't they simply take the knowledge from the device after the seeding process had already begun? That was the same kind of blind spot in writing that left me wondering back on SG-1 why Daniel was too stupid to come up with a compromise with the Gadmeer. If anything, Remnants was a bit too similar to that season four episode long ago for its own good, but I can't help but give my praise to the Atlantis writers anyways, for giving us some great scenes with Kolya once more along with a really hot British brunette. Loved the accent, loved the uniform. And oh, poor Chuck...

The SGA team didn't show up on the same screen until the very last scene of this episode, yet Remnants felt like one of the most refreshing team-based episodes I've felt all season long. And the sense of awe and wonder that Sheppard, McKay and Woolsey all felt when they saw the aliens' true form, was exactly the kind of wonder and awe and feeling of exploration that I used to love from SG-1 so very much...

Remnants wasn't one of the greatest episodes of Stargate ever written, but it truly was one of the most endearing...

... and it also reminded me of just why I fell in love with the series in the first place..."

"I think it's safe to say that whoever wrote the plot to Brain Storm probably had his own version of a brain fart, though not for the exact reasons that anti-shippers would most readily attest to...

The reality is that maybe I wouldn't have minded this episode if I never heard of the politics behind it, but it just disappoints me how Atlantis was forced to have an episode dealing with Global Warming simply because the people at SciFi told them to. It's not like I disagree with promoting the fight against global warming, I just don't like how this agenda was shoved down our throats when all I want every single week is some good gun-slinging alien action. This is the same kind of bullshit that makes me cringe every time I try to watch a Battlestar Galatica episode that obviously showed off that the American Cylons had no 'plan' in Iraq. I like to keep my news in the newspapers and my entertainment in the television, thank you very much...

With that said, Brain Storm wasn't a horrible episode, it definitely had a few redeeming qualities. It was nice to see Bill Nye again along with whats-his-name (the other guy with a TV show). And Rodney McKay once again stole the show and the thunder, first with his smarts and then with his axe-totting manly ways. But to be honest, I really don't remember much from Brain Storm already, that's how little thought and brain-storming went into the episode in the first place. If anything, all I do recall is being annoyed at Jennifer Keller for always being the moral high ground person. I know she must've encountered her fair share of snarky bickering at medical school and modern research labs, yet she always is written as the perfect little innocent girl, shocked and disgusted how scientists can't work together to save their lives. While that may be a decent commentary on the way the real world works in regards to failed solutions for the planet, in which case both money and ego get in the way, I couldn't help but roll my eyes every time that Jennifer Keller rolled her own at the others. I'm sorry, but I like characters with flaws like McKay, so a flawless girl like Keller just seems so damn lost and misguided on the series...

Then of course, we got to their star-studded romance. I'm no anti-shipper between the both of them, I even think they make a reasonably cute couple. But it is kind of annoying how we had a whole episode dedicated to it, just like I couldn't stand Trio or whatever that episode was named last season (with Carter as the third wheel). I do think McKay and Jennifer have a bit of chemistry, and the kiss between them was reasonably sweet. But Stargate has never done full episodes based on romance well whatsoever in its entire history of two or more galaxies. I don't mind this kind of stuff in the background, like the Daniel and Vala romance was in the last two seasons of SG-1, but for it to take the forefront in an already boring episode about storm fronts and quantum heat sinks? I don't know, I just felt that this was yet another brain fart on the writers' behalf...

To me, this was the Family Ties of Atlantis, in comparison to how poorly SG-1 went off the air thanks to a lot of bad filler episodes along the end stretch of the way. I would have less animosity towards Brain Storm if only this wasn't the last season of Atlantis, if only the rest of the team were somewhat involved, and if only a political agenda wasn't shoved our way. But what's done is done, and at least McKay finally got to join the mile high club (unless having sex in an Ancient spaceship with Katie Brown counts)...

I would have a lot less complaints if only Keller looked cute as hell. Yet somehow, they even botched that up, and made the skinniest girl ever from Serenity into someone who, err, how can I say this nicely? Looked right for McKay in the end afterall. I mean seriously, WTF?...

"Wow, the writers are so clever. From space vampires, now they've gone to space zombies? Whoa, so original. I'm so impressed...

With that said, I guess Infection wasn't a bad episode after we got the man-chewing Wraith out of the way. Once the episode lost the B-type horror kind of feel it was going for in the first half, it became a well knit story about the total team trying to survive at any cost. I liked that, and it helped that Todd was there to improve the mood as well. Sure, it was odd how he seemed so demanding of the SGA team when he was the one who tried to kill them all on the Daedalus, and he's the one who not only stole Keller's gene therapy but also earth's encryption codes and who knows what else. But I guess when he's faced with disease and a slow agonizing death for the first time in ten thousand years or so, I'd be a bit cranky coming out of that pod too. The face off he had with Sheppard, where we raised his hand only to realize it was no longer a threat, was one of the most well acted scenes in the season so far. The tension there was great, and the mutual hate yet respect between the both of them has provided one of the best characterizations for the series ever since it first started in Common Ground...

I mentioned that Infection was a team episode, but it definitely didn't feel that way in the first half. Teyla got to spout out some generic lines of not sensing any Wraith, Ronon got to talk his usual bluff of killing everyone onboard, and Rodney simply sat there looking at screens and giving Keller backrubs of all things. Things changed for the better part in the second half though, where Keller finally seemed somewhat useful in showing compassion and understanding with Todd and Rodney got to give his patented "oh shit" look when the Hive was splitting in two, all while Ronon and Teyla got to kick ass and take names while ripping apart zombie Wraith with their weapons. How can I really complain about that surefire combination? Sure, the CG effects for the Wraith Hive Ship crashing into the ocean were sub-par and definitely looked like the production crew were trying to save money for the finale, but the whole event itself was enjoyable to watch and you could definitely feel the team spirit in the sense that every member was concerned for one another. I do have my complaints, like Teyla not getting any screen time in with Todd (even after The Queen), but I really did enjoy the latter half of Infection for the most part...

Plot-wise, it makes sense that something would go wrong with the gene therapy on first try, although Todd should have been smarter than to give it to all his crew at first glance. And I appreciated the talks on the other side of the bubble, how Ronon and Woolsey to some extent were thinking of using Keller's treatment as a bioweapon against the Wraith. In fact, unlike Beckett's retrovirus, it seems that Keller has found an effective method of slowly but surely eliminating Wraith Hive Ships, as they seem vulnerable to the cancers indirectly caused by her cure. This is all interesting stuff to add to the Wraith mythos on the series, if only Atlantis wasn't ending this year. I guess the question now is, what becomes of Todd? A few episodes ago, he was questioning whether he would even be a Wraith anymore once his ability to feed on humans was gone. Now what will happen to him? Will the Queen Iratus Bug cure him of the gene therapy along with the cancer, or will he remain different and ousted amongst the rest of the Wraith like Michael was? The difference is, Todd is progressive thinking and he definitely keeps his word in regards to thanking Sheppard for all his respect and help. Todd chose to be different, he chose to evolve, and if only there was another season of Atlantis, I'd love to see how that pans out for the future of the Wraith...

Once again, there were definitely flaws in the formula of Infection. I could've done without the obvious red shirt who didn't even get to fire off a round before he was eaten alive. I could have done without the Aliens-esque search sequence when it came to the zombie Wraith showing on the Ancient Life Sense Detector. And I wish Teyla, Ronon and Rodney all got better parts to play, when really it was only Sheppard and Keller who got any significant speech time in with Todd. But dammit, how can I fault an episode in the end where zombie Wraith are shot left, right and center, and an entire Wraith Hive Ship was split in half?...

Infection wasn't a great episode, but it was far from a blight or cancer on the series. It didn't help the series-ending sort of arc I was hoping for, but it definitely did bring together the team the way that they should be when all is said and done...

Only three episodes of Atlantis left to go. What you leave behind, and all good things...

"Only two more episodes of Stargate Atlantis left, and here we have yet another wasted opportunity...

Don't get me wrong, Identity had a lot of decent moments, most notably between Zelenka and McKay at the end when it came to the good ol' Czechoslovakian insults from the old days. There was something good about this episode when it came to the team aspect of it all, even if Teyla was once again neutered down to Lt. Ford status in the background. Sheppard got to play the hero and point his P90, McKay got in all those 'shipper moments with the Jennifer Keller that wasn't quite Jennifer, and Ronon at least got to prove his instincts right in being the first person to truly notice that it wasn't quite Keller in that cute body of hers. Hell, normally I wouldn't be able to complain about any episode either where Woolsey got to show compassion in command and Dr. Carson Beckett got to return to be the true doctor around those parts...

But for the third last episode of Stargate Atlantis to be used up by Neeva whats-her-name, a throwaway alien hottie who strangely enough has the exact same trendy hairstyle as so many teens love in North America these days? Now don't get me wrong, I certainly didn't mind the eye candy when she was dressing herself back up from the doctor's office, and the actress certainly annoyed me less than any other hottie leading guest star has for quite some time. But seriously, I was hoping for so much more than a retread of an old SG-1 episode plotline when it came to the third last episode of Stargate Atlantis. And wow, the guys over at the SGC must really be kicking themselves in the ass now for not simply shooting the Ancient communication device with a gun before letting the Ori loose throughout the Milky Way Galaxy...

I was afraid of Identity from the trailers mainly because I thought we would get another Jennifer Keller episode shoved down our throats, but in all honesty, I liked Jewel Staite here much more than I did in Brain Storm or any other recent episode in memory. It also helped that half of her time was spent as a mirage in mirrors and computer monitors, silent and cute as a button as she can be. But aside from being squeezed into a tight alien hottie outfit that she oddly could've worn with room to spare two years ago, I thought Jewel did a decent job here as the damsel in distress who had to think fast on her feet. Her chemistry with McKay wasn't bad either, even if Neeva suggests that she can do so much better. I thought the two of them made a cute couple at the end when talking about a night under the Atlantis stars, although I still would've preferred Neeva and Keller themselves simply spending time alone in their bunk...

Identity was a better episode than I anticipated, mainly because the entire cast and crew got something significant to do. It really did feel like a team episode at times when they were all huddled around Neeva in the observation room, demanding to know where the real Dr. Keller was. And the mystery in this episode about how the body switch came to be, right until SG-1 regurgitated its way back into Atlantis through Ancient plot devices, was well played out with poor Zelenka getting the worst of it all when push came to plier shove. There were definitely redeemable qualities to Identity that would have made it an average or better episode in my eyes, if only it wasn't for the time that it aired...

Stargate Atlantis has been wasting the second half of its seasons for so long now, dating back all the way to the second year of the show. Just last year, the first half of the season felt so epic with the war between the Wraith and Replicators, only for everything to spiral downhill as soon as Be All My Sins Remember'd aired. The same has been happening with season five and normally I would be mostly alright with that, except this is the final damn season of Stargate Atlantis (and depending on how Universe does, potentially one of the last years of Stargate we'll ever get to watch). Why couldn't the writers just have scrapped their plans for Brain Storm, Infection and Identity and simply came up with a truly epic arc to finish off the series the way it was meant to be from the very start? Did they really care about Neeva the hottie that damn much?...

"For the record, I really enjoyed Vegas for what it was worth. I thought it was a very new and interesting take on the Stargate universe, and I thought that the cinematography, the character direction and the soundtrack were all very nice changes of pace from the every day episode...

But what I cannot understand, what I will not accept, is that Vegas was the second last episode of Stargate Atlantis to ever air. Seriously, even if the writers and producers didn't know the fifth season would definitely be the last, why risk it? What were they thinking? WTF?...

Here we had an episode where Teyla and Ronon didn't even exist as far as we knew. This was an episode where Atlantis the city wasn't even seen, a world where none of the characters we know and love were even the same characters we are supposed to see every week. Why do an alternate reality episode that has almost zero bearing on the series on the whole, as the second last episode ever made? I liked Vegas for all the cool shots of the city and the desert and for all the brilliant art direction we experienced in the first half of the hour. But why not have done this episode a month or two ago instead of shit like Brain Storm and Identity? Why not save some time for an epic, series-ending arc just in case the fifth season was determined to be the last? Why leave Vegas as one of the last bitter tastes in our mouths? WTF?...

With all that said, I will admit once more that Vegas was an episode that I enjoyed for what it was worth. I loved the new CSI kind of direction that the camera, the music and the cuts all took, especially in the first half of the episode. Seeing a Wraith dress up like a human to the sound of Marilyn Manson was definitely interesting, and I loved all the cold shots of John Sheppard the detective thinking long and hard about the murder cases. Joe Flanigan should know best how to act in this new alternate world, considering he was a guest star on CSI: Miami. I thought he did a terrific job as the tragic hero in the end who had his whole world flipped upside down by realizing his life was never meant to be the way it was in the first place...

What I did have a problem with was the latter half of the episode. I really loved the "earth" feeling of the first half, with the Wraith playing poker thanks to his telepathy, with the lights and sounds of the Vegas casinos in the background. I even loved all the small little moments of acting, like Jennifer Keller looking sweet and delectable as she ever has in the series while doing the autopsy on the Wraith victim. But the second half felt too close to original SGA comfort for its own good, causing a kind of schizophrenic broca divide that I simply did not enjoy. Seeing their version of Wraith the Todd just didn't work in my opinion, considering he was almost identical to our own except for the lame poetry. Having McKay and Zelenka there in Woolsey suits was great, except that their bickering and their geekiness did not jive or mix with the rest of the CSI feeling of this episode. And as for Woolsey himself, his introduction was great as an FBI officer (or so he posed), but he later became a kind of comic relief that did not fit in with the tone and atmosphere of Vegas. Sure, it was appropriate how Robert Picardo got to mention the Star Trek convention line, but it just didn't work in the context of this episode. Vegas recovered a bit with the gunship finish and the Wraith blowing holes in Sheppard's car with SMGs, but the second act of the show just didn't live up to the rest...

The pluses though? Well, besides Jennifer Keller looking so fucking smoking hot as hell when passing and flirting with McKay in Area 51, I have to give all the credit in the world to John Sheppard for a job well done. Vegas was his story if he hadn't joined the SGA, and he truly was a tragic figure that I felt sorry for in the end. He was great at his job, but he knew something was wrong with his life and he had no real motivation to go on. In the end, he sacrificed himself to truly determine if he was the man that McKay kept telling him he was. And if only he had his patented G36 in his hands instead of a pistol, he probably could have taken care of the Wraith on earth once and for all. He died a hero, and along the way he discovered who he truly was. Besides all that, the actor really brought the episode into a league of its own with his CSI-like emotions and expressions and all the badass, shade-wearing cuts he pulled off to perfection. It may have made no sense why the Wraith at the poker table would run from a lowly human with a mere pistol, but the chase was acted and filmed remarkably well and Vegas truly did remind me why I thought Joe Flanigan was such a great actor in the first season of the show...

I really thought Vegas was a great idea for an episode... just not the second last one of the goddam series...

Sure, it may be unfair of me to judge an episode based on when it aired and when it was written...

I'm going to miss Stargate Atlantis, I really am. I know that Stargate Universe is just around on the horizon, and I know I've been overly critical of SGA in the past. The series always had a "problem" that there was no real character dynamic between anyone else than Sheppard and McKay and Beckett, but I never really found that a problem as I was consistently entertained. The first season of the show was perhaps one of the best years of Stargate ever produced, and every other odd-numbered season since then has been worth the wait as well. I've always missed the old mythological feeling that SG-1 used to have as a series, as I've often complained that Atlantis was far too technobabblish Sci-Fi in comparison. Even so, there were so many great team-based episodes and simple character driven stories over the years that some of Atlantis' finest moments (like McKay and Mrs. Miller) stand as some of my favourite Stargate episodes of all time, if not of all television...

I've also complained long and hard for a while now that I felt the writers squandered every opportunity they've had to end Atlantis on a truly epic note. Why not take notes from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine or even their own original plans for the eighth season of SG-1, by ending off the fifth and final season of the series with a truly epic war arc worthy of the Atlantis name? Instead, all we got was Enemy at the Gate, which was a great episode in terms of plot points (with Atlantis returning to earth for this 100th episode of the series), but completely lacking in poise and pacing. Enemy at the Gate may have worked out if it was a two-part episode or even an extended single like Threads was on SG-1, but it completely failed on so many levels not just as a single season-finale wrapped up in one measly hour, but as the goddam series finale for what could be the last successful Stargate series ever made...

Everything in Enemy at the Gate felt rushed to the point of insanity, with random plot points jumping out of hyperspace like the wormhole drive which was never even mentioned before. Why not space out the series finale between three separate episodes? Have Vegas air four weeks ago, have the introduction of Todd and the Super Wraith Hive Ship the week after, have the build-up to the arrival of the Wraith at earth the week after that, and then finish it all off with a character driven return of Atlantis to our fair planetary oceans. It sounds so logical to me, and this was exactly the way the writers envisioned the Siege arc back in season one. So honestly, what happened to the series since then?...

There are just so many plot-holes in Enemy at the Gate that I don't even think I have time to point them all out. I already mentioned the wormhole drive, a deus-ex machina that I'm sure will be used again in Stargate Universe for convenience sake. There's also the convenient fact that a single Wraith Hive Ship suped up with an Ancient ZPM or two suddenly becomes more powerful than any other ship in the known universe, whether we're comparing it to Asgard or Earth or Ori or even goddam Atlantis itself. And the attack on earth was so damn disappointing and poorly thought out by the writers that it was almost as bad as StarFleet's 001 defences back in Best of Both Worlds. WTF?..

Okay, so what if the chair was moved to Area 51? Shouldn't there be tons of anti-aircraft weapons there, whether we're talking rail guns or even traditional flak cannons? Why were the F-302 squadrons so outnumbered when not only has earth had so many years to build fleets of them now, but they also should have been backed up by F-16s and F-22 Raptors? Worst of all, out of all fucking defences to use, why wasn't anyone sitting in the fucking Ancient chair in the first place, using our thousands of drones to take out any Wraith darts coming our way? How could earth be so fucking unprepared for any sort of attack, that not only did we not have any sort of Asgard satellite defence grid protecting our planet, not only did we still not have any alien-advanced ICBM warheads, not only did we have no decoys or back-ups for the goddam Ancient chair itself, but we didn't even have goddam time to arm our fucking fighter jets with nukes? What the flying, frakkin' fuck? WTF?...

Alright, so I admit I was really hoping for more plot-wise from Enemy at the Gate rather than the Daedalus getting its ass kicked in one hit, the Odyssey with a ZPM being mysteriously somewhere else in the universe, and the Apollo and Sun Tzu or whatever just appearing as pathetic Wolf 359 type of defences. I was hoping for a greater sum of parts from Atlantis than just firing a couple of useless drones at the Wraith Hive Ship, then proving how shitty ass Ancient war-machines really are by losing badly even with three ZPM's worth of power. I really wanted better pacing and better dialogue that just random shooting and fighting in the gallows of a Wraith Hive Ship yet again, to the sound of a good ol' fashioned nuke blowing up an alien ship in earth orbit yet again. Speaking of which, why the fuck didn't Atlantis just send a bomb over to the Wraith Hive Ship once they realized the Stargate had a connection? Even if they didn't take any nukes from the Daedalus before leaving that poor ship to rot in the Pegasus Galaxy, didn't Woolsey still have plenty of naquada reactors he could set to overload? WTF?...

As for the characters, unfortunately I also felt everything but the ending was rushed to a fault. Teyla was barely in the episode at all, except when given a speech by Woolsey asking if she wanted to be dropped off with her son and husband. Really though, she has nowhere to go, considering her people were almost driven to extinction and Atlantis was the only home she and her family have ever known. Ronon at least got a moment of glory when he busted a nut thanks to a knife in his gut. Unfortunately, the writers decided to take away whatever pity we felt for the character as soon as we conveniently learned that not only can Wraith restore health, but can also fucking raise the dead. I guess it's no more of a deus-ex machina than the Goa'uld sarcophogus was back on SG-1, but it still cheapened Ronon's sacrifice of giving his life for a planet he barely even knows. He's always wanted to die fighting the Wraith, and now he has. Now that he's attained his goal, now what?...

Neither Teyla nor Ronon had much dialogue outside of their conversation with Woolsey. Unfortunately, Robert Picardo had a minimal role as well, acting more like the Emergency Holographic Doctor back on Voyager during his days of commander day-dreaming than anything else. Enemy at the Gate was one of the most Star Trek-like episodes I think the writers have given to date, with so much technobabble that I'm sure Picardo was right back at home on Voyager. I love him as an actor, and he was really the only saving grace of seven years of goddam Kathryn Janeway. But even so, aside from the ending on the balcony, he was wasted yet again here on Atlantis, where he was reduced to giving looks of concern on his face whenever some new, random problem would happen with the engines, with the weapons, or with crashing into the atmosphere. There just wasn't any real suspense in this episode, regardless of how well Woolsey tried to show his fear. WTF?...

Even Carson Beckett didn't feel right this episode. He just returns back to Atlantis to jump into the driver's seat of the Ancient chair, where he drives the city back home to earth and then fires ten or so useless drones to distract the Wraith Hive Ship? I don't know, but he just didn't seem very true to the Carson Beckett we know and love. He was simply so eager to go to war with none of his usual concerns or fears. He didn't even have any special moments with McKay when it came to comedy or banter like we've grown so accustomed to before in the past. I appreciated that the writers chose to use Beckett here far more than Jennifer Keller, who was reduced to a token scene as the new emergency holographic doctor of the Starship Voyager. But at least Jewel Staite got a great send-off not just with her cuteness on the balcony, but also with how smokin' fucking irresistibly hot she was back in Vegas. Carson Beckett here unfortunately got a send-off that simply wasn't memorable nor true to his inner heart of character whatsoever. WTF?...

Enemy at the Gate was the return of Colonel Samantha Carter, and apparently her time on Sanctuary did Amanda Tapping good. She looked really nice compared to the last time we saw her on Stargate, and absolutely the best part of the episode was the genuine remembrance of Don S Davis as General George Hammond. It was fitting and appropriate that Amanda Tapping would get to provide the moment of memorial for one of the greatest actors ever on a Stargate series, but I just wish the rest of her performance was nearly as good. She basically just sat there as the commander of the SGC, dictating orders to computer screens but never suggesting anything of value. At least Sheppard got to ask for a goddam nuke on his fighter jet, but what did Carter do beside pout and hold her breath as if Atlantis was actually not going to make it through the atmosphere? Enemy at the Gate was also the return of Major Davis from SG-1, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for him considering he's spent so many years of his life dedicated to the Stargate program, yet he still hasn't gotten a goddam promotion? WTF? If anything, instead of Major Davis, I would have thought it more appropriate to bring back either Jack O'Neill or Daniel Jackson, if only because they've been on Atlantis before, if only to share in the moment of remembrance with Amanda Tapping for Don S Davis...

As for the good in this episode? Rodney McKay has never been bad, I just wish he had more banter and chemistry with Carson Beckett and Zelenka in this episode than he did in the end. Instead, Rodney was confined mostly to looking freaked out on the Wraith Hive Ship, communicating more with Major Lorne and the silent Teyla than anyone else. I was hoping for a lot more comic relief in this episode than just the audience chuckling at how McKay of all people could get someone as sweet and SGA perfect as Jennifer Keller on that final balcony scene. I love David Hewlett as an actor and I think he's been by far the star of Stargate Atlantis as a series. But the writers and director just didn't get to give him a chance to shine here in Enemy at the Gate, as everything was simply too rushed for the kind of perfect comedic timing he normally has with Beckett, Zelenka and Sheppard. I personally felt way too much of this episode concentrated on Colonel Carter staring at computer screens with a giant red dot sitting behind the moon, and we didn't even get any goddam Rodney and Sam moments of awkward banter either. Seriously, there were so many wasted opportunities for every character here in Enemy at the Gate that it simply was not funny. WTF?...

And that finally brings us to Sheppard. To be honest, despite his noble willingness to sacrifice himself as he did in Vegas, I cared more about Lorne laughing at Ronon's inept demise than John Sheppard ready to blow himself up for the greater good. If any character did stand out in Enemy at the Gate, it was Sheppard as Joe Flanigan was literally put into the driver's seat and given the reins to fly. Unfortunately, the startling pace of this episode didn't allow us to enjoy his performance as we did in Vegas, as we barely even got a minute of his usual suicide run tactics in the F-302 cockpit before he lost. The rest of his time was used to make Colonel Carter and Major Davis sound like idiots, then afterwards standing all alone with no Dr. Elizabeth Weir in sight to give him company on that balcony by San Francisco Star Fleet Academy. The best moments Joe Flanigan had were those he shared with Todd, as sadly he had more moments with his old nemesis than he did with Rodney McKay or the usual zero token seconds of Lt. Ford. If anything, I really did wish that the writers would have just somehow brought Torri Higginson back for the season finale. Sheppard has always been a tragic figure (as demonstrated yet again in Vegas). The only reason he lives on (besides his love for being the hero who gets the alien girl) is his friendship with Rodney McKay (which was barely seen here) and the connection he shared with Elizabeth Weir. The end of Atlantis felt like such a somber note for Sheppard, as he was willing to die for his planet yet he still had no-one really to live for. WTF?...

There were only two truly great redeeming moments in Enemy at the Gate. One was the mention of General George Hammond and the renaming of the Phoenix. The second was the balcony scene, which thankfully was true to the series, true to the characters, and true to the hopes of the fans. As much as I may hate the writers for everything else they screwed up in this episode, at least they nailed the ending. I don't know if it would have been more appropriate to land Atlantis in the actual Atlantic Ocean, but with Robert Picardo there smiling at the sights and sounds of San Francisco, somehow everything felt truly right. The fans may still despite the McKay and Keller romance, but the two just seemed so happy together that I thought they felt just right. I still don't get why the writers shoe-horned the gateroom girl of Amanda there by Ronon's side when their romance was never developed, but at least she was hot and at least she was a reason for Ronon to keep living on. Teyla was there as a friend to Sheppard, and yes, somehow it just felt right that she would be out there with him again after their moment they shared on the balcony back in Rising. If only McKay and Beckett had another classic tale of lemon chicken and wine, it would have been the perfect ending to one of the best Sci-Fi series I've ever gotten to enjoy...

I admit, I may not have enjoyed Enemy at the Gate, but I did love Stargate Atlantis. And I will miss it, as much as I do SG-1. Despite all my reservations, despite all my complaints, I thank the writers, the actors and all the fans for all they've contributed to the series...

... I thank them for Sheppard and McKay. I thank them for Beckett, Zelenka and Todd. I thank them for Jennifer Keller being so fucking hot...

And now with Stargate Universe on the horizon? I can only hope that it brings forth the best of both SG-1 and Atlantis worlds...