IvanF's Uninformed Reviews of the Eighth Season of Stargate SG-1 (2004-2005)...

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- IvanF's Archived, Cut & Paste, No-Name Reviews of
The Eighth Season of Stargate SG-1 (2004 - 2005) -
(Jack becomes a general, Carter becomes a Lt. Colonel, Maybourne becomes a king, Daniel gets a chance to ascend again, Teal'c frees the Jaffa, Anubis and the Goa'uld are defeated, RepliCarter gets her ass kicked... and oh yeah, Nerdy Sam is HAWT...)

I admit that Stargate SG-1 seasons are often hit and miss... The fifth season will forever go down as one of the most turgid showings ever in the history of sci-fi. I don't think that season even produced one truly watchable episode... And I will never understand what the loyal fanbase sees in the first season, as the awful cliches throughout that year made the season feel so much more shallow than all the seasons that followed... The sixth season lost all focus after the halfway point. And even I'll admit, as much as I enjoyed season seven as a whole, the first half of it was anything but memorable in a good way...

Now, I'm still happy that we got an eighth season out of Stargate SG-1. And I'm just as happy that we're getting a season nine, despite the cast changes... But let the record state, that even after all this time since the season went off the air, Season Eighth will forever go down as the absolute worst season of Stargate SG-1 since season five, in my honest opinion at least. And maybe the worst overall season of the series as a whole...

There were definitely quite a few classic episodes in there, but the pacing and acting in them all just seemed to lack all the production values and care that SG-1 had in prior seasons, or Atlantis had this season... The New Order and Reckoning two parters both had amazing plotlines. And some decent action as well. But there was little to no team dynamic in either of those episodes, and no real strong script writing either, as the characters literally sounded like they had rehashed some bad season five scripts or something... Moebius was a fun little diversion, considering nerdy Sam was hot as hell to me. Girls with glasses always do the trick for me... But if that episode had ended as the series finale? I definitely would've been up in arms then, and not just down in bed with her...

Threads was definitely the best overall episode of the year. While some emotional parts of it dragged on, like the Pete thing and even the demise of Jacob Carter, I still can't get enough of the Daniel diner scenes and pretty much every moment Teal'c got before his new Jaffa nation... And there were definitely a few aspects of the season I did love in the end. Ba'al put in a great performance in Reckoning, the Asgard became much closer friends with us (which was one of the reasons why I enjoyed Covenant so much), and the Replicator Carter was actually quite sexy in a few scenes or two...

But as a whole, the eighth season definitely suffered from probably one reason and one reason alone...

... Jack O'Neill was simply not there... at least for the first half of the season...

Instead of any sort of team dynamic, we got episodes like Zero Hour, where Sam in her first command was literally stuck in a secret, underground lab the whole time. And whenever we did get to see the other team members, they were usually all alone... Where was Jack and Daniel during Gemini? Why was Hammond in Prometheus Unbound but nobody else but Daniel really was?... and why does the Prometheus suck so damn much in battle anyhew? It's like it can take more damage with its shields down than when it's actually trying to defend itself... uggh...

Richard Dean Anderson is a great actor, and will forever be the true star of the show... But he just didn't feel into it this season, even more so than he seemed last season... Part of it was definitely the writers fault. I mean really, why keep him exactly the same as his normal self in Moebius? And why give him a bitch of a throwaway girlfriend in Threads?... But just take a look at a ton of other episodes, where the General was supposed to help out. Avatar, Sacrifices, and hell, even Lockdown were all episodes that RDA really could've helped with by just having some will to be there. But instead, he dragged those episodes down, it seemed... His two best performances of the season were It's Good to be King and Citizen Joe, it seemed. Which means what?... Which means, I will definitely miss the man of the hour in the ninth season of the show. But if only to get some of the true team dynamic back into the cast? Then as much as it pains me to say this, maybe his departure is for the best?...

Amanda Tapping is a fine actress, and I think she did a stupendous job as both Replicarter and nerdy Sam this season... The only problem was, she didn't do a good job as Samantha Carter, really. She was simply too indecisive and perhaps too 'womanly' to seem like a capable leader of the flagship SG team... She just didn't seem to have any real feel for the character whenever she was in charge, as her stupidity in Endgame, Gemini, and maybe even Reckoning (Part 1) seemed to show. And don't even mention her Lana Lang bitchiness when it came to Pete... But whenever she wasn't in charge? When she was back as science girl in It's Good to be King, or helper soldier in Reckoning (Part 2), or nerdy follower Sam in Moebius? Amanda Tapping did wonders there... and she really did glow throughout the second half of the season. Maybe it was just her being pregnant and all... or maybe it was just a sign that not only was she enjoying herself out there in front of the camera, but that she was getting a lot of hot, nerdy Sam sex in behind the scenes as well? One can only hope...

Daniel was the most consistent character this season, but was also the one who got the least development time in the end... I won't even mention such awful episodes as Icon, Avatar, and Endgame. I will mention however, that Daniel and his previous ascension finally meant something, with Reckoning and Threads in the fold... These two episodes alone truly justified the return of Michael Shanks. He did an amazing job with Replicarter tinkering around with his mind. Reckoning (Part 2) was just an amazing episode because of it... And Threads is still one of the most rewatchable SG-1 episodes I've seen, right up there with Thor's Chariot, The Crystal Skull, Abyss, and some other classic episodes (which coincidentally were also quite eccentric and Daniel-centric)... It kind of sucks that so much of Daniel's personal life was ignored this season though. That Osiris chick never came back to be his new Goa'uld girlfriend, and even Catherine Langford's death was rather ignored in the end... Still, Michael Shanks really left a huge impression on me this season, nonetheless. Something he couldn't do all last season long, until he finally got to shine in The Lost City, of course...

Teal'c had probably the most character development of the four next to Carter and her promotion. I mean, the big fellow got to get his ass kicked in Avatar, got to play Superman and steal his girl in Affinity, and even got his moment to shine in Threads after freeing his Jaffa from Goa'uld slavery... Threads was absolutely the pinnacle moment of achievement for his character, with the epic like musical score and the roar of the crowds and all. But besides that? Surprisingly, Teal'c didn't get to do much at all... I wish that Christopher Judge didn't butcher his Sacrifices script so much, considering his previously written stories had been some of the best of their respective seasons. I wish that his fling with T'Pol or his story with Rya'c really went anywhere, but they disappeared from the scene shortly after... Bra'tac didn't even get as many moments as he did in season seven (although with Jacob now gone, we all know who's the next to die...)... But still, for all his head nods and endless "indeed's", you still gotta love the T-man. Hell, he even sucked it up and went fishing with Jack again in Threads...

Not just because Threads as a whole was such a satisfying episode... not just because the SG-1 theme music so softly mellowing in the background was just so sweet...

But because the team just felt like they belonged together, then and there. Because the team felt like they wanted to be there with each other...

As a Star Trek nerd, I will forever love my sci-fi special effects and aliens of the week motifs, but...

The thing that always separated SG-1 above and beyond the rest, was that the script and smiles between the actors were just so strong, that it made even the most boring of episodic premises into something that felt special and memorable, to make the days go by so succinctly...

Notable Episodes: New Order (Parts 1 and 2), Covenant, It's Good to be King, Reckoning (Parts 1 and 2), Moebius (Parts 1 and 2)
Best Episode of the Season: Threads

"I've been waiting for this episode for months... years actually, if you include all those days I dreamed of the return of the Replicators...

Just three days ago, I was frothing at the mouth like a cup of cappuccino... I just couldn't wait for this episode to air...

... and with all my insanely high expectations?... it's no wonder then, that I was a bit letdown from the season 8 two part premiere...

The thing was, contrary to what almost everyone on the net seems to think, this episode just didn't have the script and storytelling to make it one of the classics... Normally, Stargate season premieres are amongst the best of television, or at least the best of the series. The Serpent's Lair, Small Victories, Redemption, and Homecoming all rank as some of my favourite episodes of all time...

But New Order, despite looking so damn good on paper, just wasn't up to the season premiere standards. It just felt so damn straight forward and (ironically enough) so damn episodic formulaic, that I never really could get into the episode or any sort of crap like that... I mean, sure I always wanted the return of the Replicators, and I think the entire internet dreamed of what kind of funk Fifth would be in if he ever was able to escape the time dilation device... I always wanted to see another fleet of Asgard ships, or figure out why they never helped us with Anubis. And I always wanted Baal to take over, no matter how much I normally enjoyed Anubis' over-the-top ramblings from time to time... But did the writers really have to write a episode that just felt so damn by-the-book? Honestly, New Order simply felt like it was simply waltzing from plot point A to B to C, with no really any clever dialogue inbetween...

As a plot filler, I think New Order set up the new season in a superb way. With a war about to wage between the Asgard, Replicators, and Goa'uld, with earth stuck in the middle with a conveniently busted weapon, I really do think season 8 can match the very best of the best...

But as a single two-hour episode by itself?... I don't know... New Order just doesn't give me that new kind of hope I was looking for... not after how much I loved The Lost City last year, at least...

The first hour of the episode of the premiere definitely felt lacking thanks to the obvious (and intentional) lack of Jack O'Neill. The other characters did try to fill up the void though... Sam and Teal'c had a pretty amusing conversation on the modified Goa'uld cargo ship, but besides the look on Carter's face when Pete was mentioned, there really isn't much to mention. And all their other scenes together, in the briefing room and on Thor's new ship, really didn't strike a chord with me either. Hell, I didn't even care when their ship was being blown apart by a black hole. The special effects were decent, but I just didn't feel the suspense, especially considering the actors didn't even try to emphasize the drama of it all actually (they definitely had a been-there-done-there kind of vibe in New Order). I did laugh at Teal'c's line though, "indeed... for some", when quipping about Carter understanding everything. But one decent line in an entire hour of supposed clever script writing wasn't exactly what I was expecting a few months ago...

Teal'c never really improved throughout the second hour, although I did get a real kick out of his newfound love for the shotgun (sniff sniff... brings back fond memories of Angel's late Wesley...)... Carter though did get to shine with Fifth back on stage. Because dammit, the only truly great character in the entire episode was none other than everyone's favourite, pissed off Replicator. I mean, the torture scenes weren't even elaborate - all he did was stick his hand in her head and show little flashes of nothing on screen. But the looks on Sam's and Fifth's faces truly made the scenes what they are... I really did feel for Carter when she broke down in tears. And I really did relate to Fifth at times, because he really was going through the steps of a child, learning what it's like to be evil... Anger management, then a moment of regret, and then of course my favourite - romantic obsession!... I had already seen a glimmer of it back in season six, so I wasn't surprised when he admitted that he loved her in the end. I did laugh though... and having the love thingy confirmed made all the farming scenes with Pete more bearable... Amanda Tapping really did have great chemistry with Fifth, no matter whether he was pretending to be Pete or she was playing a newly spawned, Evil Repli-Carter... The dynamic between these two were what really saved this episode in my eyes. And I can only hope that with Fifth still out there, and with something about "twins" as well, that season eight will truly bring exciting closure to the Replicator storyline...

... now that we know he has a thing for Carter?... oh boy, Fifth is so going to die...

As for Daniel Jackson... He tried to carry the first hour of the episode by himself, essentially. He made all the jokes he could, and I did laugh at his "every pun done to death" comment when it came to Yu (although his over-the-top "Game Over" was too dramatic for my tastes, even with the followup)... And his banter later on with Jack definitely helped save the episode as well (although I'll get to that later)... But still, most of his performance was directly linked to the new Dr. Elizabeth Weir... and I'm sorry. Unless Torri Higginson can carry a machine gun with pride in Stargate Atlantis, I will be extremely pissed that they replaced the Carter clone, Jessica Steen. I mean, Weir was just plain awful this episode! She was given some great lines, like bluffing about taking Baal's territory. But every single line she uttered either sounded overacted, underacted, or simply out of atmospheric sync with the rest of the characters on the show. Like her UN joke? Completely didn't seem to fit the mood of the scene. Maybe it was her comfort level or something, but she just couldn't match the other actors, and I really don't know why... The only real compliment that I can give her is that despite her inability to act diplomatically intelligent, she had amazing chemistry with Michael Shanks, at least in terms of eye contact. I almost got a romantic vibe between Daniel and Weir at times... weird, ain't it? I never got that with Jessica Steen before...

But I know the real reason why I didn't really love this episode. It's because it went on far too long without Jack O'Neill at the helm... As soon as he appeared on screen, the episode truly did pick up and I finally started enjoying it for what it was worth... I cracked up at the homage to Homer Simpson with the Asgard lights. I loved the mirrored reactions in Daniel's and Jack's face when they realized the name of the ship they were on (the Colonel was probably just jealous that the Daniel Jackson survived more than five minutes, you know...). I was with him on the double take questions about Teal'c's new hair. And c'mon already! Who didn't snicker at the sight of poor Thor cowering from the humanoid Replicator on the ship... And somehow, without Jack there, tapping the weapon as if that would somehow help him figure out what it does, I'm sure that even the precious moments with Thor would've been a complete bore... Or actually, they were boring - I didn't even find Thor entertaining without Jack around to piss him off... And before this episode? Hell, I never found Thor boring, no matter how much Star Trek technobabble he spewed...

As for O'Neill taking over the SGC... I suppose it's the best thing the writers can do, considering Don Davis had left (although I really wish they would just bring Jonas back already...). And O'Neill did get to do cool things already, with a much well deserved promotion of Major Carter... And yeah, I found the jokes about being The Man and having a desk to be rather funny. And you see? That's also the problem... The episode was at its best when at all four members of SG-1 were together. I'm going to miss the team dynamic... It was what made Stargate one of the best sci-fi shows of all time for its first six or seven seasons. And who knows? Maybe it'll still be around enough to make the record reach eight...

There were good parts to New Order. Indeed... Like I mentioned, Carter and Fifth brought out the best in each other. Jack O'Neill truly showed us 'who's our daddy'. Daniel pulled off a good joke or two. And Teal'c got to hold his hair and hug his shotgun... And like I mentioned, the plot points in the episode were all great on paper. I loved how Ba'al was taking over, as he really has proved to be a great secondary villain over the years... I personally thought it was time for the Asgard to finally take the fight to the Replicators (although you gotta feel bad for the poor bastards... After thousands of years, Thor's race still hasn't matched the Ancients in anything but hyperdrive and transporter technology? Asgard have been getting their little asses kicked for years now, yet it takes a single Ancient only a few minutes to solve the entire Replicator problem? Now there's a good reason for an inferiority complex...)... And the Goa'uld Camulus? Since I don't know how to spell his name, I'll just call him "Rhade" instead (for no apparent reason whatsoever, of course...). I liked his addition to the Stargate universe, especially now that Major Coburn has gone MIA. But honestly? WTF is wrong with the Stargate people? Don't they know he's going to become the first officer of the Prometheus, betray the captain, and then get stuck in a black hole for 300 years?...

New Order really did seem like a great episode at first. With so many great plot points, a lot of questions answered, and a lot of special effects in the end, I really did think the two hour season premiere would rank up there with the very best... But alas, just like with my cup of cappuccino, New Order had just too much of a tall order to fill... The lack of Jackness, poor support from Dr. Weir, a once again mostly useless Teal'c, and an episode that felt far too driven by plotline rather than passion, all contributed to the fatal fact that yes, I was disappointed in New Order...

I waited months for a great episode... guess I'll have to wait a few months more...

... or at least, until next week... A new hope? Here's hoping for the Stargate Atlantis premiere..."

"A double dose of Stargate... Oh, how I've only dreamed of this moment until this very day!...

... the only problem is, the two episodes just didn't turn out nearly as great as I thought they would be... well, one of them, at least...

Stargate Atlantis was good, but unfortunately suffered from being a complete copycat of the SG-1 episode that came right before... And the Stargate SG-1 episode, Lockdown, suffered from being an episode that we've probably seen in sci-fi (and even Stargate SG-1) a million times before... I understand that with a tighter budget and a lot of money blown on the season premiere, that there's just got to be a certain amount of "bottle" shows happening on the SGC set from time to time... But I really expected them to have good writing at least...

Lockdown had the standard fare kind of "possession" kind of plotline. The big revelation was made out to be that Anubis wasn't dead. But honestly, how can an ascended being die? It's not like I ever assumed he was dead in the first place... The good part about Lockdown, was that it got to address some ascension ideas that never were really talked about before. Even frozen on a wasteland, Anubis still isn't dead. I'm sure he'd rather exile himself for another thousand years rather than bring on the wrath of the Ancients... I would've preferred if Anubis actually said something in this episode though, besides just taking people hostage and shooting the place up. It would've been nice just to hear his smug, over-evil sneer one more time before being sent off to the wrong gate address. Instead, we ended up with just a floating blob entity that was really damn stupid in the end (why not take over the body of O'Neill before the lockdown was issued? Why not take over the president to order the end of the lockdown, unless he actually did? And why bother taking over the Russian when he gladly would've like O'Neill to be dead?)...

But normally, a bad Stargate B-rated episode can always be saved by the strong characters on the show. I'm just sorry that except for maybe Jack O'Neill, there really wasn't any good script in Lockdown... Daniel got a nice running gag of who the hell shot him. Then he got shot from Carter again, which was always interesting (except for how damn long it took him to realize it was Anubis who pulled the trigger...). Teal'c got to talk about his apartment. But besides that? Did he do anything but look strange with hair?... Carter got the absolutely hilarious moment of actually rising to attention when General O'Neill came in. But that was perhaps her one lone, decent scene in the entire episode. I never cared whether she could deactivate the self destruct or not. And I didn't even care whether she got shot or not... Now O'Neill? He had the best lines in the episode. Just his general "Jackisms" as the new general of the base, acting as if the Cold War was still on and refusing to bring back Jonas for a four man SG-1 team (goddammit), were enough to save the first half of the episode for me... But the second half was just damn bland. The only thing that saved the episode was the appearance of the same actor who played young Lieutenant Hammond back in 1969. I have no damn idea why the Stargate writers keep recasting old characters on the two series these days. But at least Jack O'Neill finally got to boss George Hammond around, more or less, one way or another...

Stargate SG-1's Lockdown suffered from perhaps taking its own "possession" kind of story too seriously. Being on a military base, it's understandable why the episode would be so by the book sci-fi... But you see? That's what's fresh about Stargate Atlantis. While it is a sci-fi show, it takes itself to be much more of a fantasy driven sort of dribble than Stargate ever was... Now I personally enjoy straight out sci-fi over fantasy, but if Hide and Seek is any indication of the strong and clever writing to come? Then I really think Atlantis has somehow found that fine tipped balance between sci-fi and fantasy that I've always yearned for in the Star Trek series..."

"Stargate SG-1 hasn't been the brightest star in the galactic empire this year so far... I personally didn't feel much for New Order, despite it's promise of a new feeling for the new season. And Lockdown was even worse, suffering from too-serious-schizophrenia and a claustrophobic kind of episodic environment... like a ship in a bottle, without the 'ship...

Zero Hour doesn't really change much in the claustrophobic environment department. And it didn't really deliver the new kind of feeling that was promised for the new kind of season... But Zero Hour truly responds as the true Zero Hero of the hour. Because for the first time in the new season, I truly did enjoy a Stargate SG-1 episode.

And Jack O'Neill is obviously to blame... In season six, I could enjoy episodes that Jack wasn't in, simply because Jonas was quirky enough to fill the void. And in season seven, while Jack still wasn't around, at least the ideas behind the plotlines were more interesting than usual... But Zero Hour truly showed that there is simply no substitute for a lack of Jack O'Neill, whether he's a colonel anymore or not. Nearly every single line he had was finally the kind of serious-jokey kind that Richard Dean Anderson has perfected on the show, and it really showed with the sheer quality of Zero Hour. Couple that with a fortress of migraines for the newest General on the block, and you have a light episode that just feels Diet Pepsi taste challenge right...

The weakest part of the episode in my eyes was the plant. I never really cared for it, and I was disappointed when O'Neill didn't send it through with Camulus as a present for Ba'al... But nearly every other scene with General O'Neill (which literally was just about every other scene) truly shined above the rest. I loved his constant bickering with the now officially named "Walter" (although you can never replace the Jack and Daniel banter). And I always love Jack's obsession with food in the middle of a crisis, talking about buffets rather than anything else on the General budget menu... I liked his solution to the trade negotiations far more than I did back in the last Kelownan episode, if only because Mr. Happy Mark Gilmore was right there to act as a confidant of a counterpoint... And finally, Jack had some contact again with Ba'al! It was great that his time in Ba'al's fortress wasn't forgotten. And Jack's line, "it's what I do", was simply so brilliant (him probably being a closet Wormhole Xtreme fan and all, I'm sure...)... I personally thought his letter to General Hammond was a bit cliche and predictable, but the "nevermind" signed at the bottom was a nice touch at the end. And as always, Jack had wonderful, playful chemistry with Sam Carter. The look on her face when he wouldn't let her see her team's written reports was simply priceless...

The rest of the cast ironically pulled a Jack O'Neill by not being in the episode... Now it bugged me how Jack never demanded proof of SG-1's capture from Ba'al (even though Ba'al easily could fake a voice or image), so I thought it was pretty dumb of him not to think that SG-1 was just missing in action, rather than being in Goa'uld's hands... But Carter, for the brief moments she was on screen, was simply beaming as the new commander. Her insecurity was definitely in character for her, and a nice contrast to Jack's usual ways. And the "animal" comment from Teal'c's written report I'm sure was more than justified... Daniel and Teal'c didn't get to do anything at all, but their moments will come soon in later episodes... Camulus was featured a lot on the other hand. And since I still don't know how to spell his name properly, I'll still call him "Rhade" or "Blade" for now... Now, Rhade wasn't extra slimy or anything this episode, to a degree that was annoying at least. And I felt it was kind of pointless to send him to Ba'al so early in the SG-1 storyline. But I did like the little connections to Stargate Atlantis with the ZPM and everything. I loved how sinister Rhade was as well, booby trapping the power source and all... I liked all the fine touches in this episode, even the mention of the Tok'ra poison (so... now Earth has Naquadria hyperdrive, Naquada chain reaction bombs, anti-life energy weapons on our bloody hell machine guns, and tons of Tok'ra poison all manufactured and lying around?... wow... we can really kick ass and take names, now can't we?...). And I even liked Jack's little planned revelation at the end. I actually want to know what will happen to Rhade now, the poor planted sap who tried to be king...

The real reason why Stargate SG-1 was a Zero Hero this week, was not just because it somehow managed to produce a bottled episode that was more entertaining than even their massively overbudget season premiere... but it was also the first week of the season so far, where SG-1 has managed to outshine its late hour (or zero hour late) counterpart... although in a sense, that has more to do with Stargate Atlantis than it does with its parent trap of an earlier show..."

... if there's anything that I've learned after watching seven full seasons of Stargate SG-1, especially after the last three or four seasons... it's that a) all aliens inexplicably speak English without any accent, b) P90s are way cooler than MP5s, c) the writers just love revisiting World War 2 technologies, and d) the fifth episode of a new season is almost completely guaranteed to suck balls...

Lucky for me, this week's episode of Icon defintiely and most certainly was all of the above...

... in other words, Icon was absolutely the iconic episode, for what exactly NOT to do with Stargate anymore these days...

It was a Daniel Jackson episode, without all the fluff about saving lives and making peace... For some odd reason, he was quite gungho this episode, almost with a George Bushian flavour to his religious extremist killing ways. And in a sense, that was good, considering it led to the only actually decent scene in the entire episode (the bunker busting scene at the end, although I really don't get why he didn't have a damn Zat by his side...). But besides that, was there anything even worth mentioning in Icon?... Daniel got to get frisky with Leda, a married girl. Sure, I thought she was cute, and quite nicely reserved the way she backed off from his touch. But besides that? Was there anything to their relationship at all?... It went nowhere in the end. His petty rivalry with the husband, Jared, went nowhere at all. And what was the point of him being injured at the start of the episode? Did we really need another flashback, Memento type of episode to fill the yearly quota?... The only Daniel Jackson moments I did enjoy were a) when he was explaining about the Goa'ulds to Leda, and b) when he looked absolutely ridiculous wearing a World War 2 rifle on his back...

The rest of the cast didn't have much to do either... Did Carter do anything besides stare at the other-worldly map? Did Teal'c do anything, except actually give a non-token line to that Sauron or whatever Lord of the Rings kind of guy?... Jack got to try his diplomacy a bit, but besides being confused by poorly accented Goa'uld, I was disappointed in him as well. I mean, since when did he treat religious extremists who act like Goa'ulds with actual hospitality?... And as for ol' Sauron or Sarumon or whatever the hell his name was? Not only did he roll my eyes from his sheer, token religious fanaticism, but he was just so damn useless at the end of episode that I really couldn't (or could?) care less about his stupidity. The only thing I was happy about was that he didn't turn out to be a Seth-type of a hiding Goa'uld in the end. Because rather it simply turned out, he really was just that damn stupid...

The prospect of the Stargate team inciting a civil war was a neat little idea, considering the World War 2 scenario (I don't think those were nukes that were used... pretty good SCUD missiles then...). But it's oddly been done before on this one series alone, enough times that I knew I didn't even want to bother with this episode... But now that the fifth episode of the new season is finally done and over with, maybe the writers will finally be able to move onto the finer points and graces of the season?...

... or are they simply keeping all of their good ideas for Stargate Atlantis these days?..."

"I was really afraid that I wouldn't like this week's episode of Stargate SG-1... I mean, Avatar sure didn't look like anything special from what I read about it before. The idea of a virtual reality simulator gone as bad as The Sims has been done to death, not just in sci-fi but in all the video games I play as well. And after all these weeks of SG-1, I was definitely starting to get bored of all these bottlenecks of bottle shows stuck on the base... While Stargate Atlantis gets to actually give meaning to the name of "Stargate", SG-1 has sort of just been left in the stone ages (or the computer ages) in terms of writing and artistic design...

And while Avatar does pretty much suffer from the same plagues that befell all the other SG-1 episodes this season so far, I still gotta admit that I liked Avatar a lot more than I thought I would... I mean, sure it was pretty much an episode in a bottle. Nothing happened except people dying everywhere, and supersoldiers being far more super than they ever have been on the show before... But you see? That's the thing! Lots of people died. Lots of guns were fired. And lots of super soldiers were actually super for once... And as a guy, how the hell could I not just sit back and enjoy the ride? I mean, I had just come back from watching Alien vs Predator (a decent movie, though obviously not Shakespeare... review to come later...). And after being disappointed in the lack of human firepower in that movie, how could I not love an episode where Jack gets to die a dozen different ways? Hell, Avatar almost made me feel as special as a spokesperson for the bloody hell NRA...

Avatar was the first episode since The Lost City to have truly strong writing for the entire team... Jack got to complain about the game being defective (and I'm sure he felt bad that in Teal'c's mind, he's the guy who always seems to get killed off first...). He had a bunch of other good one liners as well. And for the first time in a long while, I really didn't notice RDA's light shooting schedule (normally, he's only on the air when all the characters are nowhere to be found these days...)... Sam got to spout a lot of technobabble that even got my head spinning. She didn't have any real momentous lines or anything, but she did seem concerned for Teal'c. And she played a decent role in each of the fantasy shots as well, seemingly always being the last person to stand by Teal'c's side... Daniel not only got to look really weird in the CG shots of the game (a bad Gordon Freeman with the glasses, anyone?), but he also got some of the greatest scenes of the season everytime Teal'c just shot him in the ass without caring... Daniel wasn't in much of the first half of the episode, except being the first Goa'uld that Teal'c's mind decided to devise (telling, I see...). But perhaps because of that, it was actually meaningful that he was the one to sacrifice himself for Teal'c in the end. And it actually made logical sense too, considering tactical abilities weren't going to win the game. But rather, trust and Enterprise faith in the heart were the only ways to get the job done...

The episode wasn't an acting revelation for Christopher Judge. And actually, I couldn't help but shake my virtual head at the Def Jam Vendetta comments. Not just because CJ was a voice in the game, but because I'm sure he plays Def Jam on a goddam PS2 or some horrible system like that (in which case, I'll now have to officially hate Teal'c, since the character likes Star Wars as well...)... But while his acting chops were stretched to their limits, I really felt Avatar was one of the best episodes in a long time to develop Teal'c's character. It was actually sad and surprisingly that Teal'c really didn't feel the Goa'uld could ever be beaten, even if he only thought so subconsciously. And even I admit, it was kind of heartbreaking to see the poor guy all slouched down on a wall in solemn frustration, the way Jack was when he was being killed over and over again by Ba'al... Now, at first I was upset that Avatar took itself too damn seriously, when really Teal'c could've had a lot of fun shooting all his friends, ala Window of Opportunity. But in the end, the seriousness of Teal'c's ego and condition really made the ending much more powerful than I thought it would be... Not only was the Reservoir Dogs style of showdown at the end pretty nostalgic, not only did I love everyone's reaction to Siler being evil... but I really liked the solution at the end of the episode. Because deep down inside, Teal'c knew he could never defeat the Goa'uld alone. But by having Enterprise faith in his friends, even evil Siler couldn't wipe that eternal grin off his face...well, faith along with precognition, at least... indeed...

Avatar obviously wasn't the best of episodes. Daniel only looked good in CG, Sam was far too technobabbly (even for my tastes), Jack was alright but not anything special, and Teal'c never got to wield that shotgun he so loves to cuddle... But hey, there were tons of guns and explosions everywhere. It may have been a bottle episode, but it was a bottle episode with a lot of buzz, and a lot of beer.. I enjoyed Avatar. So sue me... and yet?... Avatar still couldn't take the episode of the week crown from Atlantis, for the how-many-ith time this season now?..."

"Stargate SG-1 really hasn't had the best of seasons so far... While none of its episodes have been particularly boring or anything, it's just that... none of them have been really good either, you know? As if the writers were holding something back... hopefully for the second half of the season, like they did with season 7...

Now, Affinity was definitely one of the more enjoyable episodes of the season. And it's not hard to see why I would have an affinity for Affinity... While it did annoy me a bit, that simply because he's black, Teal'c would have a whole African-American vibe to him in his apartment, I must say that I was pleasantly enjoyed at how interesting a Teal'c episode like this could be... and why? Well... Erica Durance did a superb job as his neighbour Krista. But since I don't like the name of Krista, let's just call her Lois Lane, shall we?... And this Lois? Well, she did a good job in her role, a hell of a lot better than she did on Andromeda, but her acting skills I definitely did not see... What I did see however, was all that she needed to be Lois Lane though. She had wonderful chemistry with both Daniel Jackson and Teal'c, simply because she was hot as hell in all those urban tight ass outfits of hers... If this is how she's gonna look on Smallville season 4? Then maybe there is hope for the show afterall... And there was definitely some hope for Affinity, as long as she was motel easy, and as long as I could stare at Lois Lane all episode long...

... yup... much better than she was on Andromeda... small Smallville weeks in review to come...

Okay, so I enjoyed most of the Teal'c and Krista scenes. I may never like the sight of martial art training montages in television episodes, but I seem to always have a thing for characters who don't know anything about the Stargate, yet get all wrapped up in its internal affairs... That's why I enjoyed Chimera so much last season: because Pete Shanahan, the stalker, was actually hilariously bewildered in his fight against Osiris... Unfortunately, he wasn't as inept in Affinity. Instead, we got his quite early proposal to Samantha Carter, who somehow took two damn weeks to even muster up an answer... I mean, hello? Two weeks for a 'yes'? Doesn't that tell her something? I'm not really sure... All I do know, is that I wasn't a huge fan of her character arc this episode (though Pete was quite impressive in his apartment detective work), but Carter still entertained me nonetheless, with her lovely rant about what it means to be in love. Just the look on Daniel's face when Sam went on a Cosmo tangent was simply priceless... And I did feel a little something when O'Neill was staring at the ring Pete had given Sam. Just the way he'd shut the box lid tight, you could tell he was feeling something, even if Jack wasn't showing it on his face... That was definitely his best moment of the episode, as small and subtle as it was. You could sense the jealousy, yet no hint of hostility somehow. And you gotta admire that in an actor...

Alas, Jack O'Neill didn't do anything else special, besides whine to that useless Kendrick guy. And Daniel? Well, he got to stare at Ms. Lois Lane for a moment, and gave a nice quip how every rule has an exception. But his later scenes with the ex-NID "Trust" weren't any better than the annoying NID ever was before... The episode belonged to Teal'c, and for the most part, he did a pretty damn good job. The apple throwing was a nice touch, and it was nice that he was finally honoured with the Serpent Guard etched into a skateboard... The story has a nice moral too: nice guys finish last. He was being the hero of the neighbourhood, but that just wasn't good enough - not when there's a bunch of annoying NID pricks out there, willing to take advantage of his heroism... The NID themselves perhaps ruined the episode. While I hope the symbols they got translated will have some meaning in later episodes, I've just never liked the NID guys. They're just all smug and arrogant, yet really have no purpose beyond their one-dimensional evilness. And WTF? They got an Asgard transporter from where? Osiris' ship from last year?... How the hell could they get to the ship before the air force did, I will never know. Hence, all the annoyances and stuff...

Affinity wasn't a great episode. Bad martial art montages, scenes in the motel, and the return of the NID definitely kept it off my favourites list... But the acting and the comic relief this episode definitely was strong enough to make it perhaps the most enjoyable SG-1 episode since New Order... and probably the most compelling episode until Lois Lane dumps Teal'c for yet another superhero..."

Now, at first glance, I really didn't think I'd like Covenant... I mean, yet another earth-centric episode? Yet another NID or "Trust" sort of bottleneck for the show? What were the writers thinking, right? Why were they leaving all their better (though rehashed) ideas for Stargate Atlantis instead?... well, that was my first impressions, at least...

But I'm a sucker for episodes featuring n00bs beyond the Stargate... And while last week's episode sort of disappointed me in that aspect, I gotta admit that Covenant was the first Stargate SG-1 episode that I've absolutely loved this year. And it's not hard to see why, knowing my newbie fetishes and all... I loved the old skool music that played when Mr. Sheffield from the Nanny (Alec Colson, I mean) saw the Stargate for the very first time. And I was just amazed as he was, seeing the New Alpha Site in all his subterranean glory (how the heck did we build that in such short notice?), and ironically meeting "Captain Sheffield" for the very first time... I was like a kid in a candy store this episode, I really was. Boys like toys, and I gotta say, damn I want my own F-302! Damn I want my own Alpha Site. And hot damn, I want my own pet Asgard... Even the sets in this episode all blew me away. Alec Colson's workplace really did seem like a aerospace engineer's dream come true. And the inevitable (and welcome) return of Julia Donovan from the Prometheus incident led to some really well designed news casts as well... I was relieved that Brian wasn't really a traitor, but rather just a Judas that was really scared.... And Thor! I've always loved Thor at his comedic finest. Everybody loves the poor bastard, especially when wondering what to get the president for what seems to be the presidential birthday... I loved the wonder in the female assistance's eyes when telling Colson about the whole clone disappearing act. Plus, she was pretty damn hot. A lot hotter than Fran Drescher at least... And I always love it when characters see the big Stargate whoosh for the very first time, or meet Thor and act like he's a child or something. These were the little moments that made seasons 2 and 3 seem so wondrous and magical to me. And I always seem to get all nostalgic when yet another newbie meets the Stargate universe for the very first time...

... and aww... Thor even got to be a TV star! And notice that he technically didn't lie even once on the news... smart little bugger...

Not every character had their turn to shine this episode. I mean, Teal'c only got two lines, to fill his quota for the week apparently... Daniel Jackson didn't have much to say, but he was just so infectious with his jovial callousness this episode, smirking at the sight of Emett Bregman messages, and just shrugging his shoulders after Thor and Jack beamed to the president... Jack himself probably felt most like a general than ever before. By completely denying everything with a single focused mind, he reminded me a lot of Hammond back in season 2. And you gotta love the fact that he was ten seconds early on his big "marker" speech. You gotta love the fact he tried to haggle for a hyperdrive as a birthday gift... Dammit, I want one too... Give me the Prometheus, dammit! It looked so damn adorable in that Antarctic picture and all...

The episode was all about the hopefully non-romantic relationship between Sam and Alec Colson though. With Sam playing the Nanny (or his tour guide) most of the ride through... I loved Carter in this episode. I loved the way she discredited Alec on TV, with a live alien holographic broadcast to boot... I loved the way she took him out on a joy ride in the F-302 he helped build. I've always wanted to feel one of those things in the air, and Sam always makes it seem that damn enjoyable... I loved the fact she kept stiffling Donovan whenever it came to the truth. I loved the fact that she really didn't want to make Colson look like a fraud - she was just following orders, from Jack no less... but I didn't care much for the big revelation of "The Trust" this episode. And I didn't find her whole suicidal solution at the end rather convincing, if I had killed my best friend through fear at least... And about Alec Colson? I loved the fact that he wasn't an nutcase, and that he figured all of the aliens-on-earth crap with high tech satellites, debris clean-up outsourcing, and grow-it-yourself Asgard kits. But still, Alec Colson was a closed minded jackass for much of the episode. Though even I have to admit, sometimes I do wonder about the "knowing if you have cancer" argument. I really would wish that the government would come clean on things, in reality at least... Not in the Stargate universe though. God knows I wouldn't want to deal with UN based episodes and goddam anti-Goa'uld oppression protests in NYC...

Covenant was an almost perfectly written episode, that took its earth-centric focus to the absolute limit... As soon as an Asgard showed up on television, I was sucked right into the episode. Throughout the commercial break, I couldn't help but think up every single possible way that an Asgard could ever have been captured by a corporation... And since when has that ever happened? Me, actually in awe over the events in a Stargate SG-1 episode?... Covenant really made me feel like a Stargate n00b all over again. I mean, just to see that Stargate ring, for the very first time after a million different times?... And me being Mr. No-Name Nostalgia?... no wonder I loved this episode so..."

"... eerily fitting, actually... that I should review an episode named "Sacrifices" on a September 11th...

... it's also fitting that there's a killer hurricane out there right now, Category Five, with my name written all over it... but that's besides the point...

The thing is, I normally do love the episodes that Christopher Judge puts forth. The Warrior was perhaps the best Jaffa episode ever made (next to Threshold), Changeling was an interesting change of pace for the series, and Birthright last year had some decent character involvement for Teal'c at the time... But Sacrifices? I don't really know how I feel about it... I'd put it as my episode of the week, simply from the coolness factor of double sided Darth Maul staff weapons. But really, judging from its previous name of "My Big Fat Jaffa Wedding"? The episode just didn't really have a keen enough focus... Part of it was trying to be funny, with horses in the hallways and such, and some nice comic moments from an ever graying Bra'tac. But all that completely didn't match the kind of overly overt seriousness when it came to Moloc and the overwhelming traitorness of Christopher Judge's brother, Aron... The two sides of the coin just didn't match. There was no unity. There was no union with the marriage...

Character wise, Sacrifices took a dive compared to Birthright last year... O'Neill's only good moment was winning the ping pong game, the hard way at least (unless Jaffa ping pong involves hitting the other guy instead of the table as hard as you can). He once again had some good moments with Bra'tac, but mostly, he was just part of the crowd... Sam was pretty invisible for the first time in the season. So was Daniel too, oddly enough. Their only moment was when especially oddly enough, they held hands at the thought of telling Jack about the wedding. If that sounds right, that is... And Ishta? Well, apparently Trellium-D wasn't the only thing that T'Pol had gotten addicted to over the past year. Because it seems she acts like a complete bitch whenever it comes to Tretonin now (how the hell is earth manufacturing that crap in large quantities anyhew?), as Jolene Blalock completely overplayed her moodiness in this episode... Now, I know the actress is all bent out of shape, for having to fall for a dumb hick on Enterprise (according to her latest interviews, anyways...). But does she really have to be so obvious with her emotions this episode? She had no wisdom or patience. It certainly didn't help that we all knew she was wrong in wanting Moloc gone so soon. She reminded me of SG-1 in the early seasons actually, thinking that one Goa'uld gone could actually make much of a difference... And Teal'c? Well, it was his episode to write, and it was his episode to bear. And he was probably the only character that came off well. He got an awesome little final battle scene, with the ridiculously funny moment of Moloc trying to brush off a frequency-based laser pointer. And me being Chinese and all, you gotta love the ping pong game...

But was the overall episode any good in the end?... I must admit, it was definitely Christopher Judge's weakest script yet. The only funny moment was possibly the sitcom-botched wedding rehearsal. And the episode did really suffer from dredged out T'Pol PMSing, until she was captured yet again (just like on Enterprise, it always seems...)... But hey, Moloc got crushed by two badass missiles. That's gotta be worth something. And Rya'c himself had a few decent moments, although his fiancee looked far too much like Daniel Jackson's (and Michael Shanks') former wife for her own good and protection... and dear God, the 'fro has just got to go...

It was a shame that on screen, Teal'c's internal struggle with his son's marriage was never really resolved. We never figured out why he suddenly decided to bless the marriage... But hey, that cute Ka'ryn girl and ping pong is all I really need for an episode of the week... if that sounds good, that is..."

"Stargate SG-1 seems to be on a real roll as of late... the only problem is, it's really rolling the dice the wrong way...

Endgame was perhaps the best ex-NID episode of the season, and one of the best ever made in the series... But hasn't the writers gotten a hint yet? The NID episodes (or Trust ones, now... ) have always been some of the weakest episodes of the entire series. So being the best of the worst obviously ain't saying much... especially after an entire season of almost only NID episodes, for some odd reason... And watching episodes like Endgame? While there is plenty of good, it just hits me home how much the writers have abandoned the mythology and exploration angle that governed season six and before. Instead, all of that writers' attention has been diverted to Stargate Atlantis... while I'm just hoping that all the cheap episodes made for SG-1 will return kindly in fold one day, perhaps in The Reckoning or the season finale... I can hope, at least...

Still, Endgame was a fast paced episode that I really did enjoy... the first half of it, at least... Because in that first half, all of the characters had their roles to play... Daniel got to interrogate the technicians, and got a little joke about coffee out there too. And he helped make the most suspenseful scene, the nerve gas in the palm of his hand one, into one of the funniest as well... Now, Carter was a bit of an enigma, considering her shiny costume was neither sexy nor spy-ware. And she didn't provide any comic relief, but at least she was smart when guessing about the disappearance of the Stargate... And the whole general plotline, of the Stargate on earth being stolen was a pretty neat idea. The look on Walter Harriman's face when it just vanished was worth the free price of admission alone... And while the mystery was still going on, as to why the NID would steal the gate, the episode really did have its bearings. It actually did seem intellectual and smart... and since The Rock, I've always had a thing for the coolness effect of VX rockets...

Plus, I've always had a thing for Prometheus... the Asgard beaming technology (and Colonel Ronson's continued absence... must've got his ass fired after Grace) was definitely a neato checkmark in my book...

But that's pretty much where the episode just turned into a pile of utter stupidity... Teal'c may have biases against the Tok'ra, but why the hell didn't he put one and one together and notice the Tok'ra poison and the earth lockdown was more than just a coincidence? And why the hell was he so slow at removing his friend's symbiot? As soon as the rocket hit, he should've taken it out of the pouch, before the poison would take his friend with him. I mean, Teal'c did have tretonin with him, didn't he?... And O'Neill? I didn't mind Jack's indecisiveness, when it came to choosing between his friends or not. Because I just assumed, if SG-1 was still on the ship, they could bring the Alkesh back whenever they pleased, right?... But I did not find Jack's weird sarcasm at the end of the episode to be fitting. It sounded like he hated the rebel Jaffa, which completely came out of nowhere. And unless this gets followed up sometime later in the season, that was just plain stupid... And speaking of stupid? How the hell could everyone be so stupid this episode?... Why were the NID operating above earth? They could've stolen a Stargate from any planet, or simply have left earth after stealing our own... Why the hell did the NID attack a rebel jaffa camp first? And why the hell didn't Daniel disable the hyperdrive along with the cloaking device? I know he was heading to the engine room, but didn't he think of melting the computers on board the bridge or the actual Goa'uld steering wheel first?... And why the hell did Carter and co rush to get off the ship? I know they didn't have the access codes, but how damn hard would it have been to capture the ship from that one hot Chinese chick, and then find a way to turn it around?... Honestly, I know every episode has its plot holes, but rarely ever this damn glaring...

Endgame definitely did feel rushed near the end, but I still enjoyed the first half of the episode a hell of a lot. I'm a sucker for nerve gas, and it was just a brilliant idea to see VX rockets shooting through the gate (although I'm surprised Ba'al doesn't use force field irises on his Stargates yet)... The repercussions of it should be entertaining as well. The Rebel Jaffa were all slaughtered by earth, and so were some Tok'ra. Doesn't matter who pulled the trigger... It came from our planet. And I'm sure Ba'al will remember that... once all the savings from the bottled up first half of the season hopefully pay their dues second term..."

"Well, colour me surprised yet again... Just when I was still reeling over the losses of Stargate Atlantis and Star Trek Enterprise for the rest of the year, guess what series shows up right on the UK doorstep?...

Well, actually... SG-1 has been quite forgettable this season. Because except for New Order and maybe Covenant, this season has really sucked... It's painfully obvious that the writers and producers have been putting all their work into Atlantis instead, so I wasn't really expecting good things from this week's returning episode of Gemini...

... the thing is though, Gemini ended up being one of the better episodes of the season so far... although I know that certainly ain't saying much...

I had one major complaint with this episode: the sheer stupidity factor of Colonel Carter... I mean, I know they've been developing her feminine, empathic side a lot more over the past four seasons, but c'mon already! How can she really be that damn dumb, to let her evil, gooey, Replicarter stunt double, gain access to the only known weapon in the universe that can stop her?... I mean, seriously! Teal'c should've just dusted Replicarter when he had the million or so chances that he did, because calling a bluff is a lot sounder policy than just handing all your technology and knowledge to the enemy... Acting wise, Amanda Tapping did a superb job as her usual Carter self. And dialogue wise, she wasn't so bad either, pulling off the deus ex machina or whatever much better than Weir did on Stargate Atlantis... But Carter was just so damn stupid this episode that I just couldn't stand it in the end...

However, I definitely did enjoy Amanda Tapping's double duties as the Replicarter from hell... Now, I wish that Fifth got a much better finish than he did this episode, considering his adolescent crush on Carter was one of the most wicked things the writers have ever come up with. But alas, the poor dumbfounded bastard got betrayed again (women are evil, afterall), and I suppose it was cheaper for the show just to ditch the actor in turn for more sexy Amanda Tapping scenes... She definitely had a spark of attractiveness, with her overuse of tank tops and silk blouses or whatever. And it was Illyria effective actually, seeing two Carters in the same room yet feeling that they're different somehow... Amanda Tapping was able to play a Replicator very well. She gave hints of having feelings, yet also seemed so cold and distant inside at the same time. And who doesn't love the Terminator rip-off at the end? The music even sounded familiar, as Replicarter just tore the entire Alpha Site a new one... If anything, what really made this episode was the final conversation between the two Carters. As a psychology wannabe, I couldn't agree more with Replicarter's assessment of her biological counterpart... We all have a thirst inside ourselves for power (or at least, recognition and prestige), and it definitely tickles the fantasies at the thought, that Replicarter's personality is simply the more darker side of Samantha that she bottles up inside...

As for the rest of the cast, Daniel wasn't there much (except to get nicely shot by a P90), so I'm assuming he'll be trying to get to Atlantis next week (although we know that he'll fail then... but wait, the Prometheus now has intergalactic hyperdrive? Where's the power source coming from?...)... Teal'c was reasonably smart, always pointing the Replicator disruptor at Replicarter, even though he was too damn trusting to ever take a shot. Still, I loved the CG shots of the F-302 deploying the Asgard satellite and all, and at least Teal'c can feel smug that he was smarter than Carter (or just wiser) for once on the show... And Jack? Surprisingly, even though he was barely on the show, this was one of his best episodes of the season. He took everything seriously, especially the threat, yet he also showed some trust and shippiness with Carter as well... And whenever the general had a joke? Because his quips contrasted so well with his seriousness, it reminded me a hell of a lot of just why the show had great comedy when the series was still new and starting up... There's no real juxtaposition these days. But Jack O'Neill definitely had his fair share of it here...

"Well, seems that Prometheus Unbound will be the last episode of Stargate to air in 2004... and to be honest? It wasn't a bad way to go out... at least compared to the rest of the year that SG-1 has had...

Prometheus Unbound was completely a campy, collectively comedy episode. And at some times it worked, and at some times it didn't... Really, while it was a nice change of pace to the overly dramatic (and utterly stupid in the end) episode from last week, I still just didn't feel that most of the humour really worked in this week's episode... Dr. Novak with the hiccups was simply far too unprofessional and far too "high school play"-like in comedic quality for me to bear. Her running gag just got old by the time her first scene was up, and the bad acting on behalf of the actress really didn't help things out later either... good thing she never made it to Atlantis, where she would've ruined the better of the two shows as well...

And Claudia Black's character of Vala (aka Farscape meets Star Wars)? Well, she was a mixed bag, to say the least... I absolutely hated her character, technobabble wise or whatever... I don't care how smart she is - she still shouldn't have been able to lock down the Prometheus within just a few moments of boarding the ship. And it bothers me a hell of a lot how at the end, how not only did she escape from the brig (and from armed guards, I'm sure), but she took out SG-3 without any problems as well. I mean seriously, WTF?!... I don't care if she's "good", as Daniel says. It's just that, if she's that damn good, I'd like some actual writing to back it up and fill in the blanks for me... but I guess that's what her five part Farscape mini-series will be about next year on SG-1, but I digress...

The thing is, overall I did like Vala as a character... Some of her sexual innuendo crap was taken over the top though, such as the obvious and obnoxious "size does matter" line. But seriously, when have I ever objected to flat out sexual innuendo?... I admit, I did crack up at the romantic tension between Daniel Jackson and the SuperSoldier, even though I knew Vala was inside the costume. And the catfight between Daniel and Vala was one of the best one-on-one fights in Stargate history, with a glorious fire hydrant to the crutch to boot... afterall, she is a "fruitcake"...

One of the main problems with Prometheus Unbound at times, was that except for the scenes on the Alkesh, it really didn't feel like SG-1... One of the main problems was the Prometheus itself. I mean, sure I appreciate a little firefight at the end, but must the Prometheus suck so damn badly, as if I was watching the Millennium Falcon get its ass kicked? I mean, it blew up one Alkesh, just one damn Alkesh, and got its ass kicked by just two more?... And had to be saved by Walter of all people?!... So let me get this straight: we can now fly between galaxies, yet we run out of weapons after ten seconds of shooting?... Honestly, we should give the Asgard back their technology. Our ship damn sucks more than the NX-Enterprise does it seems... Hell, I think it did better with its shields down than up, but that's besides the point...

But of course, the real factor in making the episode feel strange to me, was the fact that it was a solo "Hans Olo" effort from the cast... Teal'c and Carter weren't there, since they spent all their filming time on the last episode. And Jack did have a great scene with Hammond over the return of the general's chair, but it was still only one scene that make me snicker... Don Davis made a return as General Hammond, and at the start, it was all fine and dandy. I loved the return of the Jack and Daniel and Hammond banter, and it was nice to see that George was finally promoted to a 3-star general (unless I saw wrong). But after that?... well, Hammond was written into the trap of playing the hero. It was nice that he wanted to do everything himself, as if he was reliving his Colonel days or something. But generals are supposed to be smarter than that. Because seriously, what if something happened to him? I sure as hell wouldn't want Col. Reynolds running the ship... It would've been better if Hammond had been the one to rescue Reynolds off the Cargo ship then, instead of being the one to go in the first place...

The real star (and only star) of the episode was once again Daniel Jackson... He provided some nice ties to the Stargate Atlantis mission (although ironically, the team there has never needed to translate Ancient even once so far...). And like I said earlier, his conversation with Jack and Hammond over the Prometheus mission was one of the best comedic moments of the season so far... When it came to his chemistry with Vala, I think Michael Shanks did the best he could, but really couldn't muster up much in the end. Sure, I loved his reactions to the Supersoldier and the catfight in the engine room, but a lot of his other moments with her were just too campy for their own good... I snickered at the pinching of her head on the monitor, but it did seem a bit too childish for his character at times. And sure I loved the rolling of his eyes whenever he zatted her, or whenever she was lecturing him on some made-up story of the Tok'ra, but it did get a bit boring and redundant by the end...

All was forgiven with the "Hans Olo" moment though. Even if I saw it coming, it was nice to know that Vala was completely full of bullshit, simply wanting to trade the Prometheus for a shipment of weapons grade naquada. And the Twi'lek looking aliens, provided a nice and obvious tie in, to this episode's feeling of Farscape meets Star Wars... although their "business" does seem to change the Stargate outlook on our galaxy a bit too much, where once it seemed like the Goa'uld oppressed everything, but now it seems that the galaxy is pretty much free to do whatever they will... I don't know if this will be a good thing or bad thing in the end, but I digress...

Short story short, I did enjoy Claudia Black as Vala, and I did enjoy Michael Shanks as Hans Olo... but this episode tried too damn hard to be funny for its own good, leaving its mark with a whole lot of groan moments as well (and I ain't just talking about the groin)... Still, compared to the rest of this Stargate SG-1 season, Prometheus Unbound was not a bad way to end the year. We've all missed Don Davis afterall...

... and hell's bells, even if she's not my type, I guess Claudia Black on top would be damn comfortable too... but I digress..."

"Now, Stargate SG-1 just can't compare with Atlantis in terms of all the great looking women, but for this one week alone, it definitely matched and even beat its spin-off in terms of quality... I've said many times this season that Stargate SG-1 just hasn't been producing. Even the last two episodes, while fun at times, were just bogged down by the sheer stupidity of the SG-1 characters...

That wasn't the case in It's Good to be King though. In fact, it was probably the best damn episode that SG-1 has produced all season long... It really had that old skool feeling back, from the cheer on Jack's face when he said he so damn missed going off-world (he was hugging his P90 all episode long, you know...), to the rushed ending that reminded me so damn much, of that season six episode that Harry Maybourne was last in...

Now, Maybourne has always been one of my least favourite characters. And while it did bug me that he was suddenly so nice and cheerful in this episode, I must say that I really did end up loving him and his kingdom... I was balling on the floor in laughter at his little musical diddy during General Jack's grand entrance. And somehow, the look on Carter's face when Harry mentioned his "wives" brought back a whole lot of season one nostalgia... The banter between Jack and Maybourne wasn't really present, but the actor chemistry certainly still was. Harry didn't seem to really listen to anyone but Jack, the only man he's ever respected on the show. And it showed in Harry's demeanor... he was always cocky with the rest of SG-1, yet somehow actually looked like he cared for his people whenever he opened up to Jack. And somehow, I ended up really liking his character, right down to his "guango" wordplay invention... I just wish that he was smart enough to pick up a better weapon than a stick at the end, that's all...

It's Good to be King definitely had the best of both worlds when it came to the Stargate formula... While Atlantis has already made the Ancients look weak and pathetic, it's amazing how SG-1 still manages to make the species seem almost magical... It also helps that I'm a fan of the "self fulfilling prophecy" type of time travel, and not the actually-change-timelines crap in Atlantis' Before I Sleep... and it also helps, that I could almost see that evil Ancient Gideon around this episode, flashing a little light bulb that blinks at the ever silent Teal'c... indeed...

Here's how the time travel probably worked in this episode: Gideon (or Janus, or whatever his name was) travelled to the future in his cloaked time ship, read the pillar that he apparently wrote, found a second time ship (not the one he came in) on the planet, and realized that he had a big hand to play in the future of this world... He helped Teal'c find the old time ship, and watched as SG-1 took out the Goa'uld Ares with two iddy biddy missiles (lucky shots, or do the Goa'uld just suck?)... Gideon then went back in time, knowing his own future, and wrote the pillar exactly as he saw it before. He then probably travelled back to his own time, and left the time ship on the planet for SG-1 to find in the future... While I know this explanation will make some heads hurt, the fact of the matter is, this is the type of time travel that I do like. The kind that actually makes sense, without the idea of parallel universe crap or anything like that... Not only that, but it made the Ancients look mystical indeed. We know their weapons penetrate Goa'uld shields (even Anubis' suped up ones), but two tiny missiles destroyed a Hat'ak? WTF?!... Does the Atlantis team just have defective old European models back in the Pegasus Galaxy, or some sort of crap like that?...

But what really helped make It's Good to be King, into surprisingly a really good episode, was the perfect balance between comedy, science, characterization, and nostalgia... It had a real old skool feel to it, with a world that looked like an Ancient Greek village or something, instead of all the WW2, American Civil War, or late Medieval areas we've been seeing as of late... And I loved the pacing in this episode (except for the ending). No lines felt rushed anywhere in the episode, and nothing really felt drawn out (except for perhaps Carter's generic attempts to repair the ship). It had the return of P90 action, and it even had Daniel dressed up as his Obi-wan Danobi self again. And how the hell could you not love that?...

It's amazing how great the show feels, with RDA back at the center fold... Jack had perfect banter with Maybourne. And he even made Carter a lot more bearable, as the actress' smile and skin really do seem to beam a lot more with Richard Dean Anderson at the helm... Carter herself felt a lot more natural as a leader this time around, giving strong orders yet not in the forced manner she's been doing all season long. But what I really enjoyed from her, was just how much she was enjoying the Ancient timeship stuff in this episode. With Jack back on the frontlines, she reverted back to her old campy school girl self, and I think it really worked better than the Lt. Colonel version of her we've been stuck with all season long... Teal'c didn't have many lines, but you gotta love the eyebrow reactions to all of Maybourne's Caesar-like proclamations. Teal'c also got to take on Wayne Brady (yes, Wayne Brady... who may not have cracked a single joke, but got me rolling in the floor in laughing, from him just being there as an evil Jaffa...). With RDA back, the best of Teal'c's Jaffaness made a return. He kicked ass and took names, and it felt right for season eight... Daniel got to translate some of the Ancient writings, and then got his ass kicked by some random Jaffa. Not bad for one day, although I really wish a) the woman that saved him was hotter (like, Atlantis hotter...), and b) the episode did lack any good banter between him and Jack. But I'm sure that'll eventually come (I hope) with the end of the season soon approaching...

I haven't really enjoyed Stargate SG-1 for a very long time, but it just felt right this week, for the big brother to finally take the best episode of the week award away from The Brotherhood... But even so, I still enjoyed both episodes, in a week where all the entertainment seems to be going great for me... The Toronto Raptors are actually winning. Meet the Fockers impressed me. I actually had some hockey on TV back for once... and Stargate - both series of Stargate - really kicked ass for once...

The first week of 2005 has been good for me at least... afterall, it's damn good to be king..."

"... it didn't even feel like a clip show... and hell, it sure as hell felt a lot more fun to watch, than SG-1 did this week...

Because yes, it seems the universe has reverted back to normal, and Stargate SG-1 got the short stick of the Stargate writers yet again...

I didn't mind that The Trust was back in Full Alert, since we needed a bit of closure to their story after that god-awful Endgame episode. But really, do the SG-1 characters really always have to be that damn stupid?... Why did they just use a standard wire on Kinsey in the cliche evil house? Wouldn't a Tok'ra communicator been better at preventing jamming?... Why the hell wouldn't Jack allow for blood samples to check if anybody on the base was a Goa'uld? How can he really know anyhew?... Why the hell didn't Carter jam the beaming frequencies at the evil cliche Trust house? Especially when they knew that The Trust still had the Alkesh with the transporters... Why the hell wasn't the Prometheus scanning the area with their shields already up? One damn nuke could've taken them out. Does the Colonel just want to right to say, "Shields Up", for the coolness factor of it all in the midst of battle or something?... And why the hell was Kinsey being escorted to the brig by two completely inept guards? Hasn't anyone watched Austin Powers lately? Honestly, who throws a shoe?...

But for a Trust episode, I must admit that Full Alert was one of the better episodes to come from the writers for a while. Though that's obviously not saying much from me... The return of Kinsey definitely helped things out. I never liked that snaky, shifty character in the first place, but his banter with Jack at the start was simply pure gold. Seeing O'Neill whip out that cellphone of his like it was a cold, hard weapon, had simply no equal this season... And somehow, Carter even seemed damn cute in that surveillance van when she was telling him to "take off" his belt. Because I don't know, whenever she's not acting as a Colonel, she seems to have that cute pout back that she did in season 7, but I digress... Now, I absolutely was annoyed by Kinsey as a Goa'uld. Not just from the messed up red eyes (bring back the old effects, goddammit), but mostly because his voice was just so grating on the ears that it... well, actually did hurt my ears (why did the SG-1 guys change the Goa'uld voices this season anyhew? Dumb, dumb decision... amongst others...)... But hey, Kinsey finally being a badass villain was a nice change of pace. And since he undoubtedly survived the destruction of the Alkesh, then I'm sure we'll be seeing the return of that old snake back in season 9 sometime...

Now, the whole idea that The Trust had been taken host by the Goa'uld was pretty interesting. And kinda ironic, in a way... But I just never got into the whole World War 3 thing this episode. I mean, I can believe that a rogue would try to take over a missile silo and launch against the US himself (which happened near the end). But unless the Russian president was a Goa'uld as well, why the hell would he be dumb enough to destroy the world, knowing that that's exactly what the Goa'uld want us to do?... Colonel Chekov finally returned, and actually proved to be too nice for once (I preferred his hard stance in season 6). Him and Jack were both pretty reasonable, although the Defecon sirens somehow got on my nerves a lot more than they did in season 3's Nemesis... But honestly, WTF was wrong with Russia? How completely moronic could they be? They didn't even test their own men and officers for Goa'uld symbiots? WTF?... I know Full Alert was meant to be a nice play off of old Cold War movies, like Wargames. But honestly, in a season where SG-1 has been completely idiotic in their decisions (hell, noone was even guarding the ring transporter room from Kinsey this episode), I can't tell whether Full Alert was intentionally dumb... or if the writers just goofed in ignorance again...

With that said, there were a few bright spots this episode... Teal'c didn't do much, but he does seem to perform some nice eyebrow acting whenever he's on the Prometheus... Carter looked cute in that surveillance van. But her real contribution to this week's Stargate, was her redefinition of the word "cameo" on Stargate Atlantis. Because for that, I'm sure she was paid by the word... Now, Jack was in this episode so much that I couldn't help but enjoy it. He always had a nice sarcastic line, whether it was about Carter's "five bucks" genius, or that he "missed an episode" when it came to Kinsey... the show just ain't the same without Richard Dean Anderson...

But even he probably took a step back to Daniel this episode, because poor Dr. Jackson sure had his hands full with Daria... Now, Daria wasn't the cutest of girls (maybe for SG-1 she was, but she paled in comparison to the Atlantis girls this season... well, she looked like that Ancient British peppy girl a lot, actually...). But she definitely played her part well, with that nice military skirt of hers, seeming so desperate to keep the well dressed Daniel away from those grubby and very lonely men at the Russian tent... I loved the banter between the two of them. Him complimenting her English, only for her to say "let's stick to English" after his awful Russian mumbling, was probably the biggest laugh I had all episode long... and I don't know, the writers seemed to like Daria a lot, with her spunkiness and fine hair. I've got a feeling they'll bring her back... although I've said that about a lot of women that have flirted with Daniel over the years, and they've all been shoved aside with time, but I digress...

The dialogue in Full Alert was the only thing that saved it from mediocrity. The banter from an old enemy was the only thing that spared it from being just another god-awful Trust episode... But still, Full Alert shouldn't feel so bad for being kicked in the nuts by its Atlantis brethren yet again. Because somehow, Letters from Pegasus produced the best damn clip show I've probably ever seen...

And overall, even if Full Alert felt twenty years too late in the making, I still have to admit that this week's combined effort of Stargate, was still a hell of a lot better than we got in the first half of the season... and, well... that's saying something, at least..."

"Now, SG-1's episode of Citizen Joe may not be able to take the best-episode-so-far-of-the-week award, away from Stargate Atlantis... afterall, I was dreading this episode for the longest time. Stargate SG-1 may produce some of the best clip shows ever made, but alas, they're still just clip shows...

But really, Citizen Joe ended up being one of the funniest episodes I have ever seen from SG-1, ever... This was a true episode for the message board, long term fans... though I know exactly how the message boards will react to this one...

Half of the die-fans will love it, for making light-hearted fun of them, and bringing back all the good memories from the past seven and eight years... Most of the new fans probably wouldn't get it, considering you really have to know the past seven or six years of the show, to get most of the in-jokes... and then of course, you have the dark side of the die-hard fans, who hated episodes like Point of No Return and Wormhole Xtreme, for making fun of them and the rest of their overzealous, overserious fanbase...

... but as for me?... well, as the no-name nostalgic, do you really have to ask where I stand?...

I love making fun of the message board fanboys, and I loved this episode for doing so... We got references to obscure long lost arcs, like The Furlings ("sound like Ewoks") and Reetou. We got mentions of "Holiday", "The Light", and "The Sentinel" (which I agree with the writers with - all those episode did suck...). Plus, I saw that movie already - it hits Paris... We got the wife, Sharlene, providing exactly the kind of feminist criticism of the show that fancies and diddy dances all over the entire net. She prefers episodes with "interpersonal" and team interactions, comments that SG-1 no longer had the same team dynamic by the fourth and fifth seasons, and even left the show (Joe) when Daniel was replaced by Jonas! Now that's just pure gold... Seeing Joe break down after seeing Daniel's death was just plain ridiculously fun, for long time viewers like me. I mean, just read any old female message board threads back in the day, and then you suddenly realize why the writers have completely relegated Pete Shanahan and Jonas Quinn to just mere mentions in probably their best SG-1 clip show ever made...

Citizen Joe will never be one of my favourite episodes of course, since it just had too many boring parts in between his masterful moments of Stargate fanboyism... I'm sorry, but cutting hair, seeing his small son age ten whole years within 3, and listening to guys try to pronounce "Goa'uld", did create a lot of nasty troughs for the episode to trench through... All the scenes where he was writing his stories (and getting them all rejected) were a nice nod to the writers (their poor show is still on cable, afterall), but they just didn't keep me as entertained as the rest of the episode seemed to do... (though the return of Wormhole Xtreme, definitely put a smile on my face... but cancelled after one episode? Damn, poor Martin Lloyd must be back to the pill popping, I guess)...

Citizen Joe most likely struck a schism between the message board fanatics of the show... but if there's absolutely one thing we can all agree on? It's that the last fifteen minutes of the show were great comedic entertainment for all, no matter how long you've been watching the series...

Everything in those final scenes, from Joe's passe mention of Jonas, to Daniel's quick "thank you... Jack?!", to the lovely reminder that O'Neill's place has been broken into twice in two weeks, had me pretty much rolling on the floor in laughter... Joe doing the arm shake thing with Teal'c had me balling on the floor even harder. And c'mon, who on earth didn't laugh, at just how damn bad Jack's and Daniel's hair were in the flashback archiving scene?... with obviously sexy results (well, not for me... ahem... umm, yeah...)...

And while the mere thought, that Jack has been experiencing the boring life of a bowling barber in Indiana for 7 years straight, without ever thinking it was weird, is probably the stupidest they've ever made the character before... it was also the most stupidly hilarious moment I think SG-1 has produced all year... And I couldn't help but watch that scene all over again, just to see the precious reactions on Daniel's and Sam's faces all over again...

Citizen Joe was truly an episode for the long term, nostalgic fans. And as the no-name nostalgic, I was more than appeased... And if this was the last season of SG-1 to ever air? Then I'd think Citizen Joe would've been a great clip show to pretty much end it all, if only as one final nod to all the loyal fans...

... but it's not the final season of SG-1 quite yet... and it's not the final episode of the eighth season just quite yet either... and episodes like Citizen Joe (not to mention the entire first 2/3 of the season) have been just so low budget, that it really gives me hope... that SG-1 will go on a real spending spree of pure characterization and action, with the last five episodes remaining in the season...

Now, Stargate SG-1's Reckoning (Part 1) will probably take my episode of the week award, if only thanks to every other show not stepping up to plate... Smallville and their Slutville episode, was a complete joke yesterday (yet a very entertaining one at that...), and Atlantis just wasn't what I was hoping for this week... And while I did enjoy most of Reckoning, the thing is... it suffered from the same scourge, the same plague that New Order did a long time ago... The core plotline may be great. But the actors just didn't seem to care about the show anymore... There was no team dynamic. And mix that in with weird pacing, and a very rushed and compacted feel to the whole episode... and what we're left with, is yet another set-up, filler, "oh shit" episode sort of thing that I certainly didn't enjoy in Atlantis this week either...

Teal'c's storyline dealt with some Holy Temple on a planet named Takara or something, a place we've never heard of before... Teal'c himself was alright, as Christopher Judge is probably the only actor left in the show who seems to put real effort into his speeches. Hell, I actually liked the corny dialogue when it came to convincing his rebel Jaffa allies, to do what they eventually seemed to do... What I didn't like, was how after an entire season of them being missing in action, the rebel Jaffa have just suddenly returned out of nowhere, with an entire fleet of Hat'eks somehow. What I didn't like, was how we expected some huge battle at Takara, only to have the entire garrison surrender peacefully off screen... What I didn't like, was how there was no real character feel for Bra'tac whatsoever. He had a good rapport with that old black Jaffa guy, but where was Bra'tac's concerns over the Replicators really? Besides one single mention, nobody would've guessed that this was his first time even seeing one of the bugs... And what was with the Jaffa's reactions as well? Except for Teal'c's boast that he has beaten the Replicators in battle before, we viewers never got the impression that the Jaffa were in awe at this enemy that they've never once faced before... It really didn't feel like the Replicators were a threat at all. They were talked off screen as if they were a menace, but if the actors just don't seem to care about the lines they were saying as they were spouting their lines? Then what's really the point?...

Daniel was captured by Replicarter and subjected to the most peaceful form of torture I have ever seen... I liked how he was smart enough to actually get the fake Oma Desala to reveal herself, through that god-awful "meal candle lit" or whatever sort of Buddhist crap from way back in season four. I also liked the writers' touch, that Daniel didn't need to be completely stupid (unlike Carter) for Replicarter to get her way. She simply didn't want him to resist much (although pulling the Takara weapon of mass destruction out of his head, did sort of come out of nowhere...). Michael Shanks actually played his role very well, with the seriousness needed to make the situation feel almost real. The only problem was, I hate Oma Desala... even a fake one (plus, the actress looks different now somehow...)... and thus the dialogue in their scenes just couldn't keep my interest...

Amanda Tapping certainly did, however... As Replicarter, while a friend of mine commented that she went way over-the-top evil, I personally found her acting to be perfect for an evil, emotion-barren machine. She had a sort of slinky, evil look in her stance and posture that just felt right to me. Like she was really horny or something, and that's definitely a vibe that I like... Still, I hated how they turned her into the T-1000 (couldn't they at least have brought back Col. Sumner for that?). And I will never accept how damn stupid the real Carter and the SGC were, for giving a Replicator access to the only weapon known in the universe that can damage them, but... As for the real Samantha Carter this episode? Yeah, I was disappointed that even after a year long absence, she didn't have more than a few words with her Tok'ra father. And yeah, some of her scenes with Thor just felt off... She would basically just stand around, watch as the Replicator arm pieces would glow, and then basically just stand around some more. Not my idea of the most exciting Reckoning ever... However, she did start feeling like her old self when the Replicators boarded Thor's ship somehow. I gotta admit, that I did chuckle out loud when she came running (and beaming) into Jack's office with her cute little tank top and P90 and all... She didn't do much else but stand around and give "oh shit" looks, about being the idiot who actually trusted a Replicator. But hey, considering the actress played a double role (and was kinda pregnant while doing so), I'll definitely give her some slack...

But Jack, on the other hand?... really, what can I say about him?... On one hand, I did love some of his lines. I was baalling in laughter (pun intendeded...) at his response of "tuna" to Baal's "impudence". And even if it felt out of place, I still loved the look on his face when he said "we'll be glad" at the Replicators kicking Baal's ass... And yet on the other hand, was it me, or did Jack completely feel self-centered this episode? We all expected him to vent anger and horde grudges against Baal, for kinda torturing and killing him a thousand times over... But instead, Jack is doing the sort of human thing, by doing his absolute best to ridicule his "demon" every chance he gets. And although it sort of worked back in Zero Hour, I don't know if it worked here... The fate of the universe is at stake, and yet he basically tells Baal to shove it?... Sure, I loved the fact that Walter was trying to make smalltalk with a hologram, but did Jack really have to make the supreme system lord wait that long?... I know he's been at the sci-fi thing for a bit too long, but can't Richard Dean Anderson look a little concerned that a) Daniel was kidnapped... yet again... and b) that it was his and the SGC's fault that the Replicators are about to destroy our entire galaxy in a matter of weeks?... well, love him or hate him, guess that's Jack for you...

There a ton of things happening in Reckoning, for better and for worse... I've always dreamed of a conflict between the Replicators and Goa'uld, even if it's obvious who'd win. But seriously, we got more of a glimpse of my dream back in season five's Enemies than we did in Reckoning. Because here, all we got was a tease with blinking red dots on a screen... I've always dreamed that the rebel Jaffa would finally take it to the Goa'uld with motherships. But there wasn't even a battle in this episode. Just a lame surrender and more "oh shit, here comes Baal" looks... And yes, I was pleasantly surprised at a lot of the plot twists this episode, especially with Baal evidently working for Anubis (since when did that happen though? Wasn't Anubis stuck in orbit around earth as Baal took over his fleets?...). Anubis himself looks a hell of a lot cooler now, if only thanks to his gruesome boil of a face. And I loved most of Baal's lines this episode, if only because a) he's not an idiot when it comes to planning, and b) the SG-1 guys finally fixed the Goa'uld voices in the season... But overall, this episode just had too many things going for it all at once, that it all felt too damn rushed by the end... The Ancient weapon thing came out of nowhere. Jacob just appeared out of nowhere. Yu's death led to nowhere. And Thor just leaves on an abrupt note, with the rest of the galaxy doing about the same damn thing...

I reckon that Reckoning will definitely go down as one of my favourite episodes of SG-1's eigth season. And it definitely was good enough to get the episode of the week award from me, but... I just know, I just feel, that the episode could've been that much better... if they had only spent an extra episode or two to set things up, instead of just blitzkrieging us all in one short hour...

... then again, I'm complaining that Reckoning was too fast, while Atlantis' The Siege was too slow... Can't the two just get illegally married in Las Vegas, have their honeymoon in Slutville, and then bring back Star Trek Enterprise for a fifth damn season, please?...

"... if Stargate SG-1's Reckoning (Part 2) had aired on any other week of the year, it would've been an absolute shoe-in for the best damn episode of the week award from me... but as it stands right now, Reckoning will simply have to settle for best episode of SG-1's entire season to date... although considering my opinion of season eight so far, that's not saying a hell of a lot...

... but it should... because I sure as hell reckon, that Reckoning (Part 2) was simply goddam great...

What can I really say about this episode? This was SG-1, finally at its finest again... Sure, it still suffered from a lot of the same flaws as New Order and Reckoning (Part 1) did, with a slightly rushed overall feel, and some really cheap looking sets (not to mention CG effects that are more of a teaser than anything else... dots on screen, anyone? Both in space, and on the computer screens...). But does it really matter, when finally the entire cast and crew actually seemed to give a damn about an episode, for the first time this entire season it seemed?...

Christopher Judge always seems to get into rebel Jaffa episodes somehow. His speeches to his fellow warriors usually come out feeling genuine, no matter how cliche they sound in writing. And except for his super slow ass response, "it is the Replicators", I thought his one liner timing was pretty damn spot on for the first time this season as well... He spent most of the episode just standing there as sparks flew on the Hat'ak ship. But hey, at least those sparks looked damn cool in slow motion... the man can really pull off the eyebrow look, you know...

And Richard Dean Anderson? Thank you, RDA, for finally putting some of the old O'Neill back into his character... For once, instead of just being a running joke the whole 40 minutes (his incessant mockery of Baal last episode, for example), we got the proper mix of serious Jack mixed in with the comic relief that made his character a fan favourite in the first place... Who here didn't laugh out hysterically when the Replicators just stopped, Jack said "that's weird", shrugged his shoulders at Reynolds, then went all gun-happy totting all over again?... Who here didn't think that it actually was weird that Siler already put the general into his will?... And who here didn't laugh at the flamethrower sounds that his cheapass grenade launcher was making (well, okay, guess that was just me...)?... The point is, instead of trying to be a stand-up comedian the whole episode through, RDA finally used his talents for what his character does best - comic relief, during serious situations... My only real complaint with O'Neill was that he didn't seem to care about Daniel, even after he probably got wiped out with the Replicators. But then again, how the hell can you act concerned about a guy who doesn't just get captured every week, but pretty much dies every week as well?...

As for Daniel, he was simply hilarious this episode!... The last time he had this many funny lines, he was ascended in Abyss (or at least when he was clueless in Homecoming)... But honestly, I couldn't stop laughing at his constant jabs at RepliVarter... sure his lines were cliche or something. But just his awesome delivery of "you're an evil killing machine, so no, I'll pass" was probably his best damn line of the entire season... And even when he wasn't joking, Daniel still lit up the screen with his wits. It was pretty damn ballsy of him to slap RepliCarter's hand and have fun in "Danny's World" (although the shippers would probably go crazy over that...)... And he actually did something useful for once. Using Ancient knowledge to control the Replicators, if only for a moment, lead to a lot of great scenes (O'Neill's for one), and actually made sense in the whole context of things...

... and then he died... again... from a lame ass T-1000 knife... but what else is new, right?...

And as for Amanda Tapping... umm... was it me, or did she just somehow look "cute" this episode?... Maybe it was the tank-top she wore everywhere, or maybe it's just her pregnancy or something. But seriously, why is she suddenly attractive to me? Her face has been positively glowing since It's Good to be King, and I just love how adorable her little pout is whenever she's trying to think hard about something... And she definitely had a lot to bend over for this episode. She had a lot of great lines with her father, and she even played polite when it came to Baal. I mean, a "thank you"? I definitely wasn't expecting that... I mean sure, the actress didn't do much. She just watched as Jacob played around with the Ancient device settings, and got to spout out a bunch of run-on sentences about the Avenger 2.0 virus and crap like that... but damn, was she ever cute for some damn reason this episode... And she even did a great job as RepliCarter again. Her weird tone of voice just perfectly mimicked the emptiness that a robot would feel...

... and damn, the destruction of that lego ship of hers was pretty damn nice in the end... coolest CG effect of the Stargate universe this year, without a shadow of a doubt...

... hell, there were a hell of a lot of cool things this episode that we learned... Just all the new backstory we got on the Ancients (there were two ages of them... the old plagued, "press-button" generation, from this episode and Window of Opportunity... and the chair generation from Atlantis and Lost City...) was enough to solidify Reckoning (Part 2) as absolutely the most interesting SG-1 episode since at least New Order, or even The Lost City and Homecoming...

Yes, I did have a few problems with Reckoning, most notably with the generic crap factor of the space battle (we saw random ships firing random shots everywhere, and nothing more) and the separation of the team dynamic this episode... but it was more than all made up for, with some very nice moments with Baal ("I am a god. Gods are all-knowing"... that was hilarious, not to mention his literal "mwahaha-ing" exit from the stage...), a real nice lead in to Threads (with Danny dying... again... and the weapon on the planet still intact), some ever nostalgic stock footage moments of wormholes all across the galaxy (but how the hell could they dial every single gate? They're frickin' one way connections! And Serpent Guards? WTF?... plus, the Replicators can't be dead... they exist in other galaxies still, don't they?...)... and oh yes, O'Neill and Reynolds kicking ass and taking Replicator names in the SGC... if they have names, at least...

If it had aired during any other damn week of the year, Reckoning (Part 2) would've easily been my absolute favourite episode of the week... I mean, it's already one of my damn favourite episodes of the entire year, for all series that I'm watching...

... and if it had aired in any other damn week where Enterprise wasn't damn cancelled, then maybe I really would call this week the absolute best damn week of sci-fi I've probably ever watched in my life...

... such a goddam Greek tragedy, it is... a true Prometheus, a true Daedulus... but still...

"I've never been a 'shipper for any show. On the contrary rather - I've been more of an anti-shipper in my Buffy and Angel reviews than even I think I probably should've been in my heyday...

Which may explain why I didn't seem to enjoy Threads that much the first time around... I mean, I can sort of see why the SG-1 writers refused to cut the episode down to an hour, considering pretty much every moment in the diner had a lot of meaning to it... There was definitely more than an hour's worth of good writing here in Threads, but it just didn't seem like it stretched well to the full hour and a half. There were just so many pointless scenes, of Sam in the car with Pete, or O'Neill alone with Kerry in bed, that it all just didn't seem to keep the episode interesting in my eyes... not the first time, at least... afterall, I've never been a 'shipper...

... but the second time I watched this episode? I was still disappointed a bit by the lack of action, but still... Threads did turn out to be a great episode, the second best of the season behind last week's Reckoning Part 2. And to be honest?... Even more so than the Lost City and Reckoning, Threads really did feel like it would've made a great series finale to the show. It just tied up so many loose threads... hence the name of the episode, of course...

Teal'c has had a lot of episodes to himself over the years. But I really think Threads was his best performance since at least Changeling, despite the fact that he wasn't in many scenes... He had a great rapport with Bra'tac, that really felt like a father and son relationship at times. It felt great when the old man was feeling proud of him, and Teal'c even drew a snicker from me when he joked about 50 years down the road... And yes, even if the CG wasn't the greatest, I still felt a sense of epic greatness at the sight of an entire Jaffa legion cheering at Teal'c's presence. The bowing scene may have been cliche, but just somehow worked with the music... And all the little dialogue moments, about anarchy and the Jaffa rebellion refusing to destroy the weapon (a scene ruined by a stupid cellphone bit, by the way), both provided closure to the Jaffa rebellion plotline, yet kept it open for so many possible storylines next season... Sure, I was disappointed that there was no action to speak of this episode. The whole Tartarus ambush thing was such an obvious trap that it rolled my eyes, and we didn't even get a showdown with Anubis or anything... but... you know what? Just from the feel of all those Dakara scenes, I think I was proud of Teal'c too. A lot has changed in the man over eight years, and I'm not just talking about the hair...

Now, Carter was absolutely the worst done character this episode. I am an anti-shipper, afterall... Most of her scenes with Pete were useless. I mean, sure I laughed a bit at the awkwardness of Pete meeting her father, but for the most part? I mean, her cell phone works 30 stories underground? WTF?... I get what a lot of her Pete moments were for - the car ride and the house were to slowly show us how the wedding would've been a big mistake. But I just didn't give a damn... The only thing I cared for, was the death of Jacob Carter. We all saw that he hunched over in pain last episode, but to be honest, I never expected him to die. And while some Jacob supporters on the net now hate this episode for his demise, I personally found his scenes to provide some great closure to his character (but why the hell did he keep saying "four years"? He had cancer SIX years ago, goddammit...)... Carmen left the show as a catalyst for the Sam and Jack relationship to come, I suppose. It was a nice continuation of Grace, to be precise... And while I certainly would've preferred Carter to be more emotional when Jacob was actually dying, I can't deny the fact that I really did feel some emotion from the two of them when Jacob was first seen on that hospital bed. Carter sounded so fake when she heard Selmac was dying, yet when she learned that Jacob would die with his symbiot?... well, that was the only great thing the actress did this episode. Because I sure as hell ain't gonna comment on her bitchy reaction to Pete somehow leaving his dream girl and house with dignity...

Jack O'Neill was a bit off this episode... Now, Kerry looked like a complete whore of a slut, with that face and hair and voice and all. And except for that silk blouse she was wearing, she wasn't even hot at all - why can't the SG-1 people get super hot and horny girls like Atlantis and Smallville always seem to find in Vancouver?... But at least Kerry didn't last long. In fact, she even was too nice for the bitch she looked like, when she told Jack to retire just to be with Carter... Now, I hated every shipper moment Jack had this episode. He didn't even seem close to Carter as they were holding hands (even though I know that picture shall be framed by shippers everywhere). And except for the beer flying, he didn't seem interested in the script as he was BBQing to the sound of Carter's bridal unhappiness... Still, RDA did provide a couple of great scenes still. I loved how he refused to give Daniel a memorial service. I mean, ever since the first season (when Daniel already got his 2nd memorial, with the 1st being after the movie I'm sure...), how many times has Daniel actually gotten captured, injured, or died, needing a sarcophagus, ascension, or miracle to get back to the SGC? Too many times to count, actually...

It was great how Jack wouldn't fall for it this time. Which is exactly why the show just felt so... I dunno... old skool magical, when Daniel showed up naked once again (to the picture framing of D/J shippers everywhere, I'm sure...). And the final scene of fishing at Jack's place? I don't know, everything just felt like family there again. Maybe it was just my own personal nostalgic along with the SG-1 music and all, but... it just felt like a great scene to end the season, or even the series with... although we're not quite done yet...

But the real reason why I ended up falling in love with Threads, was simply because of Daniel and the Matrix-like construct of the diner... Mel Harris did a great job at playing a waitress of an enlightenment guide. And who didn't love the "Ascension Times", with yoga NOT being the path to enlightenment (damn straight), and two Wraith ships on their way to Atlantis?... Now, I knew who "Jim" was as soon as he said he was different. I never thought Anubis could be represented so well by a jolly, fat old man in a business suit, but I was proven wrong... But even knowing the Usual Suspects twist, I still enjoyed the performance between all three actors in those scenes. This was a much better episode than Meridian, simply because Daniel refused to go along with all the crap enlightenment stuff. He was there on a mission to help the galaxy, and great lines like, "it's wrong" and "that's what you said the last time" with a smile, really makes it hard to determine whether Threads or Reckoning was a better performance from Michael Shanks...

Yes, I will still complain that Threads was definitely anti-climatic. Couldn't the diner at least have shifted to the weapon on Dakara for the Oma and Anubis battle, instead of just being a second or two of glowing light in the diner?... Still, I will gladly admit that I loved the scene regardless, if only because of the great camera work when it came to all the other ascended finally paying attention to what was going on... Threads really deserved to be watched a second time, because the idea behind it was so crafty. All the "interfering" ascended we've seen had been punished for their actions - Orlin with his exile, and the Atlantis Blade girl only being able to help her own people. So what was Oma's punishment? And, well, now we have it... The Ascended let Anubis wreak havoc on the galaxy, even allowing him to "cheat" by using his Ancient knowledge to some degree. They wanted Oma to fix her own damn mistake; they wanted her to take Anubis out herself, and get rid of herself in the process... to kill two birds with one stone... And sure, it was damn arrogant and childish of the Ancients to do that. But I loved the whole discovery process Daniel went through to get to this conclusion (even if he never really said it outloud). I loved his scenes with Oma, with her refusing to admit that she helped Anubis ascend. And his scenes with Jim were spectacular as well, if only because a) Anubis' love for coffee was sure as hell sweet, and b) you gotta love Jim's acting, whenever he snapped his fingers or smiled like an evil Santa Claus...

Threads definitely at times felt fifteen minutes too long. And I really couldn't care less about seeing Sam in flower turmoil, or an ancient looking RDA waking up in bed with a red headed, airheaded slut... But hey, the Jacob death thing was handled superbly. Heck, we even got some great new backstory to the Ancients (I assume they fled in Atlantis to the Pegasus Galaxy, shortly before reseeding life in the Milky Way with the device on Dakara, which would work well with the Missing Link of Evolution theories too...). And I really can't find a fault in any single scene in the diner. Daniel, Oma and Jim were all just that damn good, that it was really no wonder why the writers couldn't cut this episode down to a single hour or less...

Threads won't go down as my favourite episode of all time, or even of the season. But hey, I'll still always appreciate this episode... because unlike almost any other Stargate SG-1 episode before it (and not since any episode or "finale" since TNG's All Good Things, actually), Threads really did give me a sense of real closure...

... I don't know why... but for the first time in the longest while, instead of just wanting more from the end?... I actually kinda smiled in satisfaction... and kinda in enlightened contentment as well...

"Okay, if there's anything that I detest in sci-fi (besides cliche alternate universe stories), is the ever cliche alternate timeline story...

I mean, the Stargate writers got it right once before, with 1969... Because the only possible way that I approve of Time Travel, is through the bloody hell self-fulfilling prophecy, where it's impossible to change the damn past (you can only cause things to happen the way they happened)... But after 1969 got it right, the Stargate writers have gone all Terminator 2 on us, and changed their philosophy on time travel. I think I've already complained about it enough with Atlantis' Before I Sleep. And if I was writing reviews back during the fourth season of SG-1? Then I definitely would've ripped apart 2010 for all its worth... hell, that episode wasn't even fun...

The thing is, while time travel will always irk me, there are certain times and certain episodes, where what's happening on screen is damn entertaining enough to make me forget all about my egotistical pet peeves, at least for the time being... Terminator 2 is still one of my favourite movies of all time. And the first and third (not the bloody hell second) Back to the Futures are pretty much what started my love for sci-fi in the first place...

Moebius (Part 1) suffers from a lot of problems that befall the first half of Stargate two-parters... It was too slow moving at times, and definitely a bit low budget as well. I was all hyped up for the return of Ra, only to find that it all took place in a little temple so much smaller and less grand than what we got to see in the feature film... There was no action to speak of, and very little characterization for the main characters as well. We got to learn about the USAF Daedulus a bit, and we got to see Teal'c smile about Anubis finally being gone and all. But that's about it...

But even though Moebius featured the type of time travel that just drives me insane (and not in a sexy librarian sort of way), I still must admit that the episode won me over... It will definitely not go down as one of the best of Stargate. And it definitely ranks below New Order, Reckoning, Threads, and maybe even It's Good to be King for the eighth season overall and all... But I still enjoyed Moebius (Part 1) for what's it's worth - a cute, fun, nostalgic romp through the history of Stargate SG-1. It had wacky characters, wacky acting, and the return of so many guest stars from over the years, that it actually did turn out to be really funny...

Completely contrary to what I thought I'd like, I actually didn't enjoy the first half of the episode... Everything just felt so small, and completely not epic like Reckoning Part 2, or satisfying like Threads... Carter was just her usual self, taking charge of the group when it came to science. Sure, she looked cute (as she has since she got pregnant) in the desert and all, but really, her constant nagging did get on my nerves a bit... Teal'c was barely in the episode. The return of the Horus helmet was a nice nostalgic touch, but the Jaffa really didn't do anything else this episode besides smile at the destruction of the Replicators... Jack O'Neill (our O'Neill, at least) only had one good line... or two actually, when it came to 1908 and the Cubs actually winning the World Series... But those were basically his only half decent jokes, and I was more than just disappointed when they didn't even write any banter between him and Daniel...

And Daniel? Well, the whole funeral scene was rushed. I mean, Catherine Langford is dead! Why are the writers killing off everyone (with Bra'tac next year, I'm sure)?... The character didn't even get to return since the first season. And because of that, Daniel just didn't feel connected to her, besides the return of the Ra amulet thing and all. Hell, he didn't even seem to care much about Catherine's niece Sabrina (who like all SG-1 women for some odd reason, just can't compare to the super hot and horny gals every week on Atlantis...)... The first half of the episode just felt rushed, feeling like too much of a disconnected setup for the second half of the episode...

... luckily for the episode then, I actually really enjoyed the second half of the episode... and hopefully, I'll love Part 2 as well...

Teal'c was nowhere to be found in the alternate timeline, but thankfully we got the triumphant returns of General Hammond (a one star general now), Major Davis (with a really ugly mustache... must be hiding from his performance in Elektra...), and even Colonel Samuels (WTF? I guess that one episode stint on Battlestar got the actor a return gig after seven long years...)... Hammond was a bit weird, not showing the concern he normally does in episodes. I guess that's to be expected, considering he has yet to meet SG-1. But still, he didn't even show the contempt he showed in the SG-1 pilot either...

And even though he was only in for one scene, I really have to admit that Rodney MacKay once again, just like in 48 Hours and Redemption, truly stole the show. I mean, the alternate reality didn't even change him one bit (next to the lemon chicken thing). He still is a lovable pompous ass, he still has no manners with girls, and yet he still hits on Samantha Carter (who I must admit, did wear the sexy librarian thing very well...)... In a sense, MacKay's cameo was a bit too jarring, considering he was the only character who was almost exactly like his real timeline self. But hey, if there's one scene that never gets boring in this episode, it's MacKay in the Puddle Jumper... or Gateship 1, as he probably would've called it...

The alternative O'Neill had a boat named "Homer". That may not have gotten a laugh out of me, but all the other Simpsons references did (Carter not wanting to step on a bug, for example)... Hell, I'm half expecting Carter to see her nerdy self next episode and cry out, "I'm a nerd!", only for Daniel to look in the mirror and sigh out, "so am I..."... Still, I was still pissed off that O'Neill really didn't have any interactions with the alternate Daniel, really. There was a bit of banter on the boat, with the $150 per hour rental charge and all (they used up their frequent flyer miles for that?...). And you gotta love the fact that Sam and Daniel actually put on their life jackets to the extreme, but... For the most part? I guess it was nostalgic that Jack was back to his season one selfish, almost suicidal self. But without comedic writing, I just didn't really care for his character...

Alternate Daniel was quite a hoot though... Carlos and his "you make me so hot" comment was just so sudden, that I did crack up laughing... And was it just me, or did alternative timeline Daniel truly have more atrocious hair than his real self ever had?... Still, one thing was bugging me about Michael Shanks' performance the whole episode. Because to be honest, I think he acted more genuinely nerdy and geeky back in the first season of SG-1, than he did this episode (aside from the god-awful clothes that even I wouldn't wear, but I digress...)... Still, I did enjoy the look on his face when he was shot down by the ever arrogant MacKay. And he sort of did have that annoying "l337" geek look to him, when bragging about finding the second Stargate in Antarctica... Overall, I wasn't so hot on Daniel this episode (...). But even if his acting was "off", I still did enjoy the short term nostalgia from not having to deal with action hero Daniel for the first time in years...

... but it's true... no wonder I always side with MacKay... I seem to have his exact taste in women...

Now, maybe it's just because of the actress' pregnancy (since I have been attracted to her since It's Good to be King, for some odd reason), but damn was Amanda Tapping adorable this episode... I loved her little nerdy, shy mannerisms. I loved the way she scrunched her lips all the time. I loved the way she would fiddle with her fingers and glasses. And believe it or not, I actually loved her hair this episode. WTF?!... And oh yeah, she had a lot of great moments as well. The life jacket ruining her hair was one, and just her little chortle while explaining her day job at National Aerospace, was Winifred Burkle adorable to me... And finally, Amanda Tapping gets to make fun of the "reproductive organs on the inside" line, the single awful line that almost made her quit the show in the bloody hell first season (along with Emancipation... what were the writers thinking?...)... Her character was just so chock full of little quips and cutesy mannerisms, not to mention the best of SG-1 trivia and nostalgia (earthqukes in Antarctica, MacKay creeping her out all over again, etc...)... Hell, even the obvious pregnancy bulge on her belly helped make this episode into one of the funnest that SG-1 has ever produced, and one of the absolute best Amanda Tapping episodes I have ever adored in my life as well...

Yeah, Carter made this episode for me. And just the overall feel of the second half of the episode, almost as if the writers were reliving the entire first season of SG-1, was just a wonderful gift to the fans (even if in my opinion, the first season sucked ass)... Sure, I wish the first half of the episode was better paced. Sure, I wish that Ra and Egypt didn't seem as damn tiny and barren as Abydos did in season six, but...

... and I've always been a sucker for obsessive, compulsive, giddy, cute girls...

... and no wonder I actually paid to see Elektra... but let us never speak of that again...

"Now, I really, really, ridiculously wanted Stargate SG-1 to end its eighth season with a definitive bang... and, well... I know that the eighth season as a whole has been nothing more than a whore of a string of bad episodes. I mean, I can pretty much name every single freakin' decent episode of the season on one goddam hand... And while Moebius (Part 1) wasn't exactly the episode that I was hoping it would be, at least it still showed a lot of promise for part 2...

... but, well?... Moebius (Part 2) squandered pretty much any hope I had left for the season... since it was the end of the season, but I digress...

The first episode of Moebius at least brought to life (amidst a horrible temporal paradox) one of the greatest fantasies of a Star Trek geek like me... I've always dreamed that one day, just one day, someone will come up to me and tell me that in an alternate timeline (a real timeline), I'm actually someone special. Someone with a purpose, you know?... rather than just a desk job wannabe, writing as a noname attention whore on the internet, don't you know...

But alas, Moebius (Part 2) didn't even provide me with that... Now, as an avid SG-1 fan since the second season, I did appreciate some of the nostalgic romps through time... Charles Kawalsky was killed, again. Apophis got to play with his hand device over Daniel's head, again. Chulak returned with SG-1 behind familiar bars, again. Samuels was nowhere to be seen, and General Hammond only had a few lines or two, again... And of course, we got that final scene in Ancient Egypt, with the Egyptian crowds shouting at the poor ass Jaffa who wished they had those cool ass Horus helmets from the Stargate movie... and so did I...

The problem was though, Moebius as a whole felt like it was more about the guest appearances and the geek factor of nostalgia, than it was about any sort of semblance of a real plot... Kalawsky's time was wasted with barely any lines, Apophis only got to look blurry from old skool Danny vision, Chulak just felt so damn small and minuscule compared to the SG-1 series premiere, and the Jaffa in Ancient Egypt didn't even put up a fight... I mean, c'mon. Even with the lack of extras, couldn't the producers at least have tried to faithfully reproduce the action from the movie, with some CG characters swarming the Jaffa down below?... Instead, we were left with an episode that actually left all the good action to the imagination, and nothing more. It was almost as if I was watching a clip cliffhanger show... although no season finale will ever be as bad as that season two one was, whatever it was called...

And Daniel got killed, again... I mean seriously, the guy has the absolute worst luck when it comes to the Stargate universe... And Daniel Jackson knows it. The one decent thing his character did this episode, was just shrug in disinterest at the fact that his alternate self was a Goa'uld spy. It's like he expected him to die on the first mission or something... It's just too bad that Dr. Jackson really didn't have anything else to do this episode... Alternate Daniel just got to stare at a hand device, then got shot by a staff weapon. He didn't even have any of the classic geek lines he had in the first Moebius half... And our Daniel Jackson, ironically the only one still alive in Ancient Egypt after five years? Sure, I loved how badass he had become, talking down to Lt. Gaeta like he owned the Egyptian place. The contrast between him and his alternate geeky self was larger than I thought, but still... The revolt at the end of Moebius was just so damn weak and pathetic, that seeing Daniel not even getting to fire his old P90 (does it still have ammo?), really made this episode feel like a wasted opportunity...

Alternate Teal'c surprisingly was a breath of fresh air though... I mean, maybe it was just because his hair was covered and all, but alternate Teal'c actually seemed to care about things, while our Teal'c really hasn't for months (yes, I preferred him bald...). The expression on Christopher Judge's face when he was watching his alternate self on the tape was fantastic. You could really sense his Jaffa throat going dry... And Teal'c was excellent on the tape as well, seeming so beamingly proud of all that had been accomplished in the past eight years... But as soon as Teal'c (too easily) rejoined the SG-1 team, he became just another background character yet again. His only contribution in Egypt was to look at Daniel's revolution plans for a second, and then denounce the dots on the paper as being not good enough... which definitely explains the character over the past year as well, but that's besides the point...

Jack O'Neill showed some promise last episode, with the Chicago Cubs references on one hand, and his alternate self bringing to life some old Kurt Russellness on the other... But where did it all go in Moebius Part 2? He didn't give a damn about Kawalsky's death, he didn't really make any cool jokes, and he seemed to fly the Puddle Jumper with too much ease compared to his real timeline self... Well, Jack actually did get a few good lines in. I laughed a bit at his banter with our Daniel, especially over the missing fact of the cloaking device on the tape... but then again, I must also admit that I completely felt no chemistry between Jack and alternate Sam in the Puddle Jumper. Sure, I rolled my eyes (in a good way) at the intentional cheesiness of the sparks flying in the PJ background at the kiss. But really, the guy is too damn old to be dating Carter anymore! It just doesn't feel right, somehow... I loved their awkwardness when Jack admitted that he found her "hot". But RDA himself didn't make that scene... It was all Amanda Tapping that saved the few decent moments of Moebius Part 2...

Now, first things first about her, I was severely disappointed when she lost her glasses. I mean, WTF? It's like a reverse Superman complex with me, in which as soon as the blonde chick removes her glasses, she suddenly becomes ugly to me? WTF?... Still, maybe it wasn't just the glasses. Amanda Tapping just was missing a lot of the adorable, geeky lines that she had in the first Moebius. Not to mention the sexy librarian clothes that turned me on, but that's besides the point... But still, out of all the characters this episode, hers was still the best. She still had her adorably girlish moments, like her ineptitude at firing the pistol in the PJ, the way she sat down in the Egyptian tent, the little waddle she gave when she checked if the Puddle Jumper was invisible, and of course how damn cute her little walk was as she was pondering whether her future self had a boyfriend or not... Amanda Tapping did a whole host of little flirty things that would've attracted the best of men, so it was no wonder that Jack hit on her. I laughed out loud when she claimed that she was attracted to Daniel instead... but dammit, why did she have to get together with Jack in the end? We all know she's truly meant to be with MacKay...

And ah yes, MacKay... absolutely the best part of Atlantis, and absolutely the best part of Moebius... If there's one reason alone why Part 2 is still in the plus column, it's because of the return of the "Gateship 1" naming thing... And Daniel even agreed with him! Hell, even Sam was nodding in approval of the name!... and without Sheppard there to bitch-slap some sense into them, what else was there to do?...

... ah yes, the clever nostalgia... but that just wasn't enough to save this episode...

Don't even get me started on the headaches, from the mere fact that now the fishing scene at the end of Threads is non-canon (meaning, that team there was now an alternate version of SG-1, while the redone fishing scene in Moebius is officially the real SG-1)... Don't even get me started on the stupidity factor of the alternate SG-1 team living out their lives in Ancient Egypt, yet not affecting a single thing in the timeline (butterfly effect, anyone?... without the horrible actor... uggh...)... Don't get me started on the goddam temporal paradoxes, parallel universes, and the whole damn Delorian thing... and please, don't get me started on that movie... even if I liked that movie, but I digress...

I was hoping for the world from Moebius, for a truly kickass and epic battle to finish off the season... and maybe for a way to solve the temporal paradox without a complete rewrite of history from the first Moebius episode... Hell, I was at least hoping for an All Good Things kind of thing, as a brilliant way to use time travel and reset buttons to fondly look back at the eight years past...

... but sigh, all good things must come to an end... even when it comes to SG-1...

... and if there's anything that season eight of the show has truly shown, it's that I really, really, ridiculously hope... that season nine doesn't turn out like this...